Turning Grace (8 page)

We sat down and Tristen pushed his bags to the side.

“Man, I don’t know how you girls can shop for a whole day. It’s really exhausting!”

“We were built for this kind of stuff. It’s in our DNA, you know.”

He chuckled. “Well, how about you do all the shopping for me?”

“Me? I don’t know what you like. Or your size, or anything.”  That was a complete lie. I have been paying attention to his threads for quite some time.

“Oh you’ll learn that I’m pretty easy. Jeans and a t-shirt. Sometimes a hat or maybe even a cute little cardigan like that,” he teased as he poked me in my ribs. I squirmed and giggled. Wow, could I have been any more of a girl. Although, I felt like I had to explain my choice in clothing today. I didn’t know I was going to run into him.

“Oh…I wasn’t even planning on coming to the mall. It was a last minute thing,” I lied as I looked away.

“What are you talking about?” He lifted a leg on the wooden bench and turned toward me. “I think you look adorable.” He pointed at my shoes. “And you wear Chucks! That’s pretty hot.”

It felt as though my heart was going to pump the blood completely out of my cheeks. Did he just call me hot?
Okay, now was not the time to be shy, Grace. He was obviously letting you know he digs you.

I looked down at my hands.
Grace, fidgeting is not any better
. Suddenly his finger swept my long curl from the front of my face and placed it behind my ear.

“Your hair is a whole other subject,” he said softly with a smile.

I couldn’t turn away. Our eyes were locked and for once, my heart froze. Every other thought flew out of my mind. It was as if everything else melted around us. There wasn’t anything I wanted more in that moment than for his lips to touch mine.

What was it about this guy? He was a normal high school senior. Sure he was a jock and popular and sweet and super sexy and polite and cool…but there were a ton of guys like that out there. Why was I completely obsessed with everything Tristen?

A car horn sounded in the distance and Tristen broke the staring contest. Damn it!

He cleared his throat before he spoke. “So, this weekend coming up is finally Halloween. Are you excited for all of us to hang out?”

He had no idea. “Oh yeah. Like I said, Halloween is my fav.”

“What are you going to be?”

“I was thinking about a vampire…or maybe a zombie.”

“Definitely zombie. People love zombies,” he stated.

“What about you?” I asked, really curious to know if he had a creative imagination.

“Well, how about a zombie?”

I laughed. Really?

“No, seriously. If you are a zombie, I’m a zombie. It would happen anyway if it were real, right?”

“What? That if I’m a zombie, then you’re a zombie?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“Yeah. I mean, if you were a zombie, then I would eventually become one. Especially if we are sitting this close to each other…and if we continue to keep sitting this close…well, you know…I may get bitten…”

I wasn’t sure if I was imagining it or if he was slowly moving in closer to me. Was his comment supposed to mean more than I thought it meant? I was bewildered and eager at the same time. Before I knew it, my mouth unconsciously ruined the moment.

“ Well, it depends. I could spread it to you the good ole’ fashion way by biting you. Although there are other ways. You may already have the virus. Or, it may be an airborne virus. Either way, if zombies were real, you wouldn’t be doomed. People could still survive; they would just have to be extra careful. Stock up on pipe bombs, guns, sniper rifles are a must, Molotov cocktails, you get the picture. Food, medical supplies, and all that stuff of course. Chances are people won’t know right away how the virus came about, so making sure to stay clean, be aware of any wounds on your body, and keeping your mouth closed in the process of killing zombies would help. You know, protection from splatter.”

Tristen’s facial expression was a mixture of confusion, delight, surprise, and what seemed to be total awe. Crap. I went too far. He thought I was some kind of freak. I looked down at my fingers in embarrassment.

“So, you have been thinking about this a lot, huh? You weren’t kidding when you said you loved horror movies.”

“I kind of have a weird thing for stuff like that. Let’s just say that you can never be too sure,” I nearly whispered as I shrugged my shoulders.

He chuckled and lifted my chin with his finger. “You are so adorable.”

His smile was intoxicating.

Before I can respond with a witty and even more adorable remark, a horrific screeching rang through my ears.

“TRISTEN!”

We both turned instantly, although I knew neither of us wanted to. Sonny stood a few feet away from us with her shopping bags in hand. Her facial expression was proof that the devil lived somewhere deep within all of her perfect clothes and makeup.

“Sonny, I was just—”

“You were just what, Tristen? Checking her pulse?”

What? Certainly she knew that one could not check for a pulse on the chin. At least I hoped she knew that.

Tristen obviously caught that as well. He chuckled. “What? No, Sonny. Come on, let’s just finish shopping,” he said, clearly annoyed that she had caught us. He stood up from the bench and turned to me. “I’ll call you,” he murmured.

“Well, what if I don’t want to go right now,” she said through her teeth.

“Sonny, let’s go. You know I have a meet tonight. I don’t have time for this.”

Wow, he seemed to coming off as pretty aggressive. Sonny didn’t say anything. Instead, she gave me the evil eye and turned to follow Tristen back into the mall.

I sat on the bench a while longer, trying to relive the past 15 minutes in my mind. I didn’t even know where to start. He liked me. I knew for sure now that he liked me. But what the hell was that with Sonny? He just told her what to do and without hesitation…she did it. For a split second she almost resembled a puppy being scolded for peeing on the carpet. For some strange reason, my sympathy nerve struck. I’ll have to investigate this a little. If he was the aggressive type, I didn’t know how much I would like that. Although, when dealing with Sonny, maybe he had to be. 

After people watching outside for some time, I walked back into the mall and headed towards Phoebe’s store. As I passed the food court, Phoebe’s voice yelled over the crowd. I searched through the sea of people until I spotted her standing at her table, waving a hand in the air. She and Eric were at a table right in the middle of the food court. It was a Saturday afternoon, busy day for the mall, and people were everywhere either waiting in line or waiting for a table to become available. I maneuvered my away around, trying to avoid the smell of food as I felt my stomach begin to growl. I was going to leave after I visited with Phoebe a bit, so hopefully there wouldn’t be any more fainting and making a total ass of myself.

Phoebe and I finally locked eyes right when I made it a few feet away from her table. Next thing I knew, I felt my body lift up off the ground, and I could suddenly see my legs in front of my face. On my way down, I watched my shoe fly off my foot. Before I could see where it landed, my head and back smacked into the marble floor. The sound was deafening on my end, but apparently to everyone else as well. The entire food court stopped eating, ordering, even talking, and turned in my direction. I could make out a few laughs and someone even blurting out, “Oh, shit!”

I lied on the floor for what seemed like eternity before I realized that I fell. My head instantly began to throb. I winced and reached behind my head to somehow ease the pain with my hand.

“Grace!”

Phoebe’s voice sounded far, far away, although she was only a few feet from me. She ran over to me with Eric by her side. They immediately met me down on the ground. “Grace, are you okay?”

“Ugh…yeah…I think so.”

“What a shame.”

Phoebe, Eric, and I turned to look over at who would say such a thing.

Sonny was sitting at a table, her chin resting on her hands. She laughed.

“Let me tell you what happened! I ordered a slice of pizza from that pizza place, right?” She pointed over to Tony’s Pizzeria. “And, as I was walking over to my table, I dropped the darn thing. I guess you slipped on it, Grace. What a shame…Tony’s pizza is really good.”

“You asshole!” Phoebe stood up and lunged herself at Sonny, but before she could even move an inch, Eric grabbed her by the waist.

“Well, I guess I’m gonna head out. Tristen is waiting for me. If you know what I mean,” she said as she dangled a pink bag from Victoria’s Secret on her finger. She stood up from the table and waltzed out of the food court as if nothing even happened.

“Damn it, Eric! Let me go! I can catch that skinny bitch!”

“Phoebe, she’s gone. It won’t help. This is what she wants you to do.” Eric’s voice was calming. Phoebe eventually stopped squirming and tended back to her best friend lying damaged, embarrassed, and void of any dignity. At least I became boring enough for everyone around to go on about their business.

“No Grace. I can tell you want to give up. I can see it in your face,” Phoebe asserted as she helped me to my feet. My head was killing me, but my back felt worse. I struggled to keep a balance. Eric was back at her side a minute later with my shoe in hand.

“You might need this.”

I managed a chuckle as I reached for my shoe. Phoebe, on the other hand, was without humor.

I sat down on a chair and looked at Phoebe as she bent down to put my shoe back on. Tristen’s favorite shoe.

“Phoebe. Enough,” I finally said. “She is a bitch. But what am I going to do? Ask her to meet me in the schoolyard so we can fight?”

“Yes! She deserves an asskicking. If you don’t, I will.”

“Phoebe…don’t worry, I’m working on it.” I began to feel exasperated with Phoebe. I knew that her heart was in the right place. It was actually very flattering that she wanted to protect me. After all, I would do the same for her. But I knew what I had to do. Tristen was obviously into me. There was no doubt that before our romantic moment was sorely interrupted by the evil girlfriend, he was definitely wearing his heart on his sleeve for me. The ultimate revenge will be the day Tristen breaks up with her to be with me. It’s just a matter of when that will happen.

After Phoebe continued on with her rant about kicking some Sonny ass, I walked back to their store and said my goodbyes. Phoebe warned me that if Sonny pulled another bitch stunt, she was going to “let all hell break loose on her face”, with or without my consent. Eric, on the other hand, seemed to understand where I was coming from. He agreed that karma would eventually catch up with Sonny, and he defended me when I tried to explain to Phoebe that resorting to violence was not the answer. I didn’t want to physically hurt Sonny. Although, mental pictures of my hands around her throat and hearing her plead to be free flooded my mind, I was not a violent person. All I wanted was one thing. And I was starting to get the aching feeling that he felt the same.

Chapter 8

The Feast

It was a gorgeous fall dusk. On my walk home, I thought about how Tristen tucked my hair behind my ears. Flashbacks of his touch on my chin burned into my memory. I grabbed my chin and smiled. Hopefully soon there would be more of those memories engraved into my mind.

I was about three blocks away from home when I felt the same, gnawing pain in the pit of my stomach. I cringed and automatically hugged myself. Great. I was so tired of this feeling. How was I hungry again? I had only been gone for about three hours.

The gnawing in my stomach grew more intense with every step I took. I began to pick up the pace, knowing that Mom had some dinner cooking on the stove at that very moment. I swore I could actually smell it. My head began to ache, along with all the muscles in my body. Sweat began to fall from the roots of my hair, and my pores were beginning to smell.

What the hell was happening to me? Normally I would have a little while before I felt this bad from hunger, but it seemed to be coming on more quickly, stronger.

I found myself practically running; however, my body didn’t seem to like that too much and slowed its pace on its own. I was breathing heavily and everything from my toenails to my teeth began throbbing.

From the corner of my eye, I spotted (surprisingly enough considering my vision was blurring) a shadow in someone’s driveway. I came to a halt and turned my head. The darkness was coming fast, but the street lights and the house that belonged to the driveway were not lit up just yet. From what I could tell, the shadow was small and motionless. I crept slowly towards it, hunching over just a bit to get a better view of what the shadow could be; not that my body could even help it.

As I approached it, there was movement finally and I caught a glimpse of yellow eyes staring back at me.

Meow

The moment I was sure that something was there, my mind took complete control. The hunger was debilitating and thoughts of what I had to do to get some food in my stomach crowded my brain.

As I got closer, the cat changed from the prone position to sitting, wagging its tail and meowing some more. It didn’t seem scared of me.

“Hi little guy,” I said quietly. Those were the last words I would be able to speak until I got what I needed.

This cat was extremely brave because as soon as that came out of my mouth, he came over to me and wrapped himself around my ankles. He rubbed his body on my ankles and meowed a few more times.

I bent down to give him a rub the best my bones would let me. I smiled at his innocence. Animals don’t have a care in the world. Their only concern is living.

Another terrible pain shot through me. I clinched and fought a scream that was ready to fly out of my throat. I rubbed the kitty’s little head with more urgency. I was not sure what possessed me to stop here and love on this little guy instead of making my way to some food. Every movement my hand made to rub the cat only brought on my hunger even more.

I continued rubbing his tiny neck... with more and more exigency. Something was beginning to smell appealing and surprisingly familiar to me. I lifted my nose in the air like a hound to get a better whiff. I closed my eyes and tried to mentally figure out the similarity. It was irony…bitter. My mouth watered as I thought about what it could be. When I brought my head back down to look at the cat, the smell got stronger. I bowed down closer and realized what it was. The meat. This cat smelled exactly like the raw meat I ate this morning.

Unconsciously, I tightened my grip around the cat’s neck.

What am I doing? I need get home.

The cat tried to worm its way out of my hand, but I couldn’t let go.

Oh my God. Grace. Let go. Let go!

He was pulling back as my grip got tighter and tighter.

Grace, what are you doing? Leave him alone!

And before I knew it, there was a crackling sound and the cat’s body was no long resisting. Before my mind could register what I’d done, I picked up the limp, lost soul and hobbled over to the sidewalk in search of a dark corner. About one and a half blocks from where I reside, I found a dark house with a for sale sign on the lawn. The porch was deep and dim. I was sure no one could find me there.

I staggered up the four steps to the porch and huddled into a corner, resting the cat on my lap. Okay, I just ended this poor cat’s life. Parts of me were feeling sorrow for the little guy and anger at myself, but my stomach was feeling otherwise. I needed to do this. My bones ached for this. I couldn’t live without this. I wanted this.

With that last thought, I brought the cat’s body to my mouth and bit down. Its body lay in my hands like a rag doll and with the first bite, blood oozed out through my fingers onto my legs.

The taste was even better than I’d imagined. Although the smell of it was almost the same as the raw meat I ate this morning, the taste was completely different. It was warm and juicy and so soft. With every bite, I sunk my face in deeper and deeper into its little body. My eyes rolled in the back of my head as I swallowed the bitterly delicious red liquid. The meat was easy to chew and every swallow brought me into some kind of euphoria. It was almost as if I could feel my brain cells awakening. My senses were growing stronger with every clench of my jaw. My mind briefly confirmed that this was by far the best thing I had ever gotten my hands on.

I sat in the dark, draining every ounce of blood and flesh the cat had to offer. Not one thought of my life entered my mind. In that moment, no one existed except me and this carcass. There were no glimpses of Mom, Phoebe, school, Sonny, my dad, or even Tristen. All I needed, all I wanted was right here in this moment.

When I finally regained control, my eyes focused on what lay in my lap. Bones and pieces of fleshy tissue were scattered all around me.

The collar that I must have thrown to the side during my feast lay a foot away from me. I reached over to pick it up. A tag dangled, engraved with the name FLUFFY.

I quickly threw it away from me as if it caught fire.

Grace, what did you do?

I swiped the aftermath off my body and shot up.
Grace, what did you do!

Tears began to shoot out of my eyes as I realized what horrible thing I had done. I just killed a cat! And I ate it! What had I done?

I ran off the porch of the vacant home and into the direction of my house. I could see my mom’s car in the driveway and a wave of relief swept over me. She was home. She would know what to do. She would know how to explain why I just killed and ate a freaking cat.

I swung open the door, winded and crying at the same time. I shut the door and stood in the foyer, unable to understand what just happened.

“Gracie, is that you? Dinner is ready honey!” she yelled from the kitchen.

I didn’t move an inch. I wasn’t hungry.

“Grace?”

What did I just do?

Mom walked out of the kitchen with a couple of plates in her hands. She halted to a dead stop when she saw me.

“Grace!” The plates dropped to the floor, shattering into pieces and echoing throughout the house. “What happened? Why are you covered in blood?”

I glanced down at myself. I hadn’t realized how much blood I had on me. How could something so small have so much blood?

Mom slowly walked over to me, as if she were approaching a bomb. She held out her hands.

“Grace, honey. Talk to me. What…happened?”

I didn’t know how to respond. What should I say? I was walking along the road and found a cute cat. I killed it and ate. Normally, a kid would come home and say “Mom, I found a cat. Can we keep him?” No, I ate the damn thing.

My eyes were wide and my heart was still pounding. The crying subsided and I believed what I was feeling was shock.

“Grace, are you hurt?”

I looked over at her and shook my head. She proceeded to get closer, finally resting her hands on my shoulders.

“Okay, let’s go upstairs and get you into the bathtub.” Her voice became calmer. I finally felt soothed and nodded my head without a word. She guided me upstairs into my bathroom. She ran a warm bath and helped me out of my blood-stained clothes.

I soaked in the tub while Mom rinsed my jeans out in the sink. I finally broke the deafening silence.

“I don’t understand,” I said softly, looking down in shame.

She stopped her rinsing and looked over at me. “What don’t you understand, Gracie?” she asked with genuine concern. She seemed to be so calm. I was sure she’d be hysterical when she saw blood all over me.

She kneeled down against the tub and waited for me to answer. I took a deep breath and swallowed hard. How was I going to tell her I literally ate a cat?

“Mom, I did something horrible tonight.” The tears started stinging the corners of my eyes.

“Honey, I’m sure whatever you did there was a reason for it.” She took the loofah and began scrubbing my back. I shrugged away.

“Mom, you don’t understand. I don’t understand.” My voice was getting hoarse.

“Gracie, just tell me and we will fix it. We always do.”

She was right. 

My tears came down with full force as I braced myself for what I was about to reveal. The thing was that I wasn’t sure why I was even going to tell her the truth. I could have just lied and said that, I don’t know, I started my period or something. But the truth was that I was lost. I had no idea why I did what I did and Mom was always to the rescue. She would always understand, never judge…unless it was about Tristen, and she always knew how to make me feel better about the situation. She did always fix everything.

“When I was walking home from the mall, I got really, really hungry,” I said without looking at her. I couldn’t look at her. As much as she never judged me about other things, I knew she would when I dropped the bomb on this one.

She was quiet.

“I saw a cat. A black cat with yellow eyes.” My tears were now waterfalls.

“…and…I…I pet it, but my stomach was so hungry…so I squeezed his neck until he was…and I just had to, Mom. I had to.”

I finally looked at her. Her face was composed. There was no expression. This made me cry harder. What the hell was she thinking? If she had any thoughts of sending me away, this would surely bring her to a decision.

“Shh…it’s okay Gracie,” she said serenely as she continued to scrub and rinse my body. There was no change in her motions. My tears were coming on so strong that I felt they could probably fill up the rest of the tub. But she was…as calm as a cucumber. And it pissed me off.

“Mom, I just killed a cat! AND ATE IT!” I yelled so loud that it hurt my throat. “How can you be so relaxed right now?” I pushed her hands away and stood up, covering my private areas with my hands.

“Grace, it’s okay. Just please calm down and we can talk about this…”

“No! It’s not okay! Something is wrong with me Mother! Something horrible! How can I do this? I couldn’t control myself! I couldn’t even think about what I was doing! Weren’t you a doctor? Can’t you help me?” I asked, desperation the only emotion I could express.

My throat was killing me. I have never yelled at my mother this way. I would never even think about yelling at her. But what the hell was she thinking? How could she not be freaking out as much as I was?

I stepped out of the tub and rushed to my room. I needed to get out of there. I threw on a pair of jeans, t-shirt, sweatshirt, and my chucks…the ones that weren’t drenched in blood. I threw my hair into a messy bun and grabbed my phone.

“Gracie, where do you think you’re going?” Mom asked, this time with a hint of authority.

“Out.” I walked out of my room and headed towards the stairs. Mom followed.

“Grace, listen to me. We have to talk about this. You need to eat something!”

That forced me to halt to a stop. Was she serious? I turned around and gave her the craziest eyes I could manage so that she would get just how crazy I thought she sounded. “Are you kidding me? How in the hell can you honestly be worrying about me eating right now?”

“Grace Elizabeth, do not take that tone with me!” she yelled back.

“How can I not? Are you that selfish? What Mom, did you cook something different tonight and need me to try it? Guess what Mother, all your obsessions with cooking isn’t going to change the fact that Dad left you!”

She literally took two steps back. I could almost see the dagger I just stabbed through her heart. She seemed like she had a million things to say, but nothing left her mouth. I instantly wanted to take it back. I didn’t even know what I said it. Maybe it was just I button I felt I could push.

We stood for a moment, silently, and stared each other straight in the eyes. Finally, I turned on my heels and rushed down the stairs. I didn’t look back, but I was pretty sure she didn’t move an inch.

I flew down the porch steps and hooked a left down the side walk. I had no idea where I was going, but I needed to just get away.

What the hell was happening to me? I ate a freaking cat less than an hour ago. AN ACTUAL CAT! My emotions were everywhere. I was upset, sad, so confused…but my body hadn’t felt this great in a couple of weeks. A brief thought of wanting to run a marathon popped into my head, but I quickly crushed it because that was ridiculous to think about in the moment. But my body felt…rejuvenated. Exhilarated. I could hear a car alarm in the distance. I could see a person walking down the street a few blocks down perfectly. And I swore as I was power walking, I was skipping a bit. It felt like a Black Eyed Peas song was pumping through my veins. If someone saw me right now, they would definitely think I was cracked out for sure.