Tumbleweed (17 page)

“Maybe it's luck of the draw.”

“Sure… maybe…. You know there's a verse in the Bible that says the clay doesn't get to question why the potter made him the way he did. I bet whoever wrote that wasn't a chamber pot,” I muttered.

“I would hardly call you a chamber pot, babe.”

“Why couldn't I have been a nice, normal bowl or something? A pretty vase maybe. Something practical.”

“A chamber pot is actually fairly practical.”

“We're moving on from the chamber pot reference,” I rolled my eyes. “Sometimes I just get tired of chasing a tail that the whole world knows I'm never going to catch.”

“Even if that is the case, would you be more like your family if you had the choice – honestly?”

I opened my mouth to protest that this had nothing to do with my family, but the look in his eyes said he knew better, so I closed my mouth again.

“Exacta-mundo.” He gave me a smug grin and took a swig of his beer. I hated it when he was right.

“I should probably go find a bed now.” I changed the subject. “Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”

“Very long,” he agreed, standing to stretch. “Don't forget that even if the rest of the world doesn't understand what he's doing, the bulldog knows why he's chasing and if he doesn't catch the tail, he still enjoys the chase.”

“Whoa. That's deep.”

“You are so mean. Let's go.”

“Just saying is all….”

“So how tipsy are you?” Ethan paused outside my door with an amused look on his face.

“Almost tipsy enough to throw caution to the wind and follow you to your room. Just sober enough to know I'd be mad at myself come morning.” I grew serious as he pulled me closer to him. “But possibly tipsy enough to play with fire by kissing you thoroughly in this hallway before we part ways.”

“Good to know.” He lowered his head. Ethan's kisses hold a power over me all their own, but throw in a bit of alcohol and the room really starts to spin. I'm not sure how I managed to pull myself away from him. If I had to guess, he was the one to show restraint and end the kiss. Either way, I went to bed alone in my room.

The next morning I was rewarded for my exploits by a massive headache to accompany the crushing realization that my brush with happiness would be drawing to a close after today.

I didn't remember Aaron being such a loud child. Was he shouting on purpose? I scowled the entire way through getting
showered and dressed. I felt about as welcoming as a bear with a thorn in its paw. Aaron eventually picked up on that and stopped trying to hold a conversation with me. His expression plainly said he thought I was insane, though.

It wasn't until we stood in the parking lot staring at Ethan's truck that it occurred to any of us that it would be a tight fit.

“I can take a cab,” Jim offered. “Or rent a car. Aaron and I might enjoy that.”

“Nonsense, we can fit.” Ethan smiled a little devilishly. “Jim, you drive. We'll stick Aaron in the middle and Hailey here can sit on my lap. Just don't get pulled over.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but everyone else was already piling into their assigned seats. I could tell by the look on his face that Jim thought Ethan was a genius, albeit an evil one.

I might have enjoyed the ride a little more if my head hadn't been pounding and my son wasn't sitting right next to me. As it was, I leaned back against Ethan and watched the farms go by.

Everything seemed so calm today. I could almost convince myself it had been a bad dream—until we'd pass a hundred-year-old tree that had been snapped in two like a matchstick. Then it would all come crashing back with sickening clarity.

Jim sucked in his breath as we pulled up. Hearing it on the phone hadn't prepared him to face it head-on. There was something very humbling about that much destruction, and very eerie about the quiet. There were no horses to greet us merrily. No dogs to surround the car as it bumped down the dirt road. Memories floated through the air like ghosts.

I didn't care what kind of mixed signals I was sending or to whom I was sending them. As we stood and surveyed the damage in the light of a new day, I stayed glued to Ethan's side. Aaron seemed to vacillate between me and Ethan, occasionally venturing off on his own to look for Jim's dogs.

I gave Aaron a strict warning to stay away from the remains of the buildings then promptly ignored my own advice so I could retrieve the insurance papers from the safe. Ethan would have followed me, but there was barely room for me to squeeze through.

I was a dirty mess by the time I wound my way through the twisted beams to the entrance again. I handed the papers to Jim and set about brushing myself off as best I could. That was pretty much the extent of what I knew to do. After that, I kind of stood there feeling like I should be doing something, but unable to start until the insurance examiner came to access the damage.

The next car down the driveway wasn't one we expected. Bobby's cruiser emerged from a cloud of dust and I exchanged a glance with Ethan. It made sense he was coming to check on us—surely word had spread how hard we'd been hit. I hoped that's why he was there. I couldn't handle discussing Hobbes at the moment.

“Morning.” He tipped his hat and strode towards us with a whistle. “Those boys weren't joking. You folks were hit hard.”

“Yeah, just waiting on the insurance guy to get here,” Ethan nodded. I bit back a retort about stating the obvious.

“I'm just grateful no one was hurt,” Jim patted me on the back as he said it.

“How's Sue taking it?” Concern was etched on Bobby's face. “This must be real hard on her.”

“It is.” Jim shook his head sadly. “This has hit her pretty hard. I'm sure glad she's got David and Cheyenne to stay with. With a grandbaby on the way, I'm sure they'd appreciate her help around their place.”

I tried to keep up with the conversation, but my mind was going several different directions at once.

“Cheyenne's having a baby? That's just great,” Bobby beamed. I was relieved I wasn't the only person who didn't know what was going on.

“Yeah. Good thing, too. That house was the last Sue had of Bud. She'll need something to keep her busy now.”

Ethan must have read the look on my face, because his expression said he'd explain later. Another car bumped along the driveway, taking Jim and Bobby's attention from the conversation at hand.

“Sue and her husband used to own this place. Long time ago.” Ethan slipped up beside me to whisper in my ear while no one was
paying attention. “Bud died when a horse he was training threw him—he was an old school trainer, climbed on some crazy horses… anyway, Jim bought the place and kept Sue as an employee so she and Cheyenne could stay on.”

“I thought Cheyenne said she didn't grow up around horses.”

“She didn't. Sue sold the entire herd before Jim took it over. I think he raised llamas or something back in those days, before the market went bust.”

“Why did no one tell me these things?” I was flabbergasted. Suddenly so much that irritated me about Sue made sense, and I felt bad about not liking her.

“It didn't seem right to talk about it,” Ethan shrugged.

“Maybe… but it might have helped my patience level with her.”

“Everyone's got a story. I don't need to know it to respect it.”

“You're very irritating when you're right, you know that?”

I think he might have been getting ready to reply when Jim called us over to meet Francine Jenson, the insurance adjuster. Introductions were made. Bobby took that as his cue to move on, but not before promising to check in with us again soon.

I dutifully walked along, answering questions when necessary and concentrating on remaining stoic when not. From the look on Jim's face, I knew his mind was made up. There just wasn't enough fight left in him to rebuild this place.

Chapter Thirteen

The next several days
were both sad and surreal. There weren't many horses left to find homes for. Especially once Ethan bought Jezebel and Lady. Only two of Jim's hounds turned up, and they were welcomed over at David and Cheyenne's place.

A tarp was hung to block the elements from the remaining part of the main house and that became our base of operations. Clean-up seemed insurmountable that first day. Ironically, it was me who organized a plan of attack.

When Aaron was little, I taught him to clean his room by breaking down the steps for him. That seemed like the logical approach here, so I assigned Aaron, Ethan and Jim each a very specific task to complete. As taken aback as I was when Sue showed up and offered to help, I gave her a task too.

Hauling debris to the burn pile gave me time to think. Something about protesting muscles clears my mind of clutter. And I needed to be level-headed if I was going to make a good decision now.

Jim had offered to pay me through the end of the month to stay and help with clean-up, then a two-month severance on top of that. I think he would have offered more if he could. I was glad for anything. I'd been successful in paying off debt while at the farm, but not so much with growing my savings account.

I debated job hunting after we'd finished cleaning up the farm but didn't hold out much hope for the success of that endeavor. This was a dying area. Jobs were scarce for natives, non-existent for an outsider like me.

“Hey, someone's coming,” Aaron stopped what he was doing and nodded towards the drive. We all paused, waiting to see who appeared around the bend. It sounded like more than one vehicle. I'd worry it was Hobbes showing up to kick us while we're down but doubted he'd face us in the light of day. And I couldn't imagine him having back-up, for that matter.

“It's Jeremy,” Ethan recognized the trucks first. “Looks like he brought most of the crew with him, too.”

We all watched as our construction workers poured out of several trucks. Jeremy strode over to Ethan and me, shaking Ethan's hand and hugging me.

“The boys and I thought we'd see what kind of help we could be cleaning up the place.”

“Thank you.” Ethan coughed uncomfortably. “That's real good of you… we'll gladly pay you for your time.”

“No you won't.” Bobby shook his head. “Because we won't let you. If it was our home, both of you would be right there with us. You know you would.”

“Thank you,” I accepted the offer for Ethan.

With so many reinforcements, things started to come together pretty quickly. Or in some cases, come apart.

I salvaged what I could from the rubble that had been our cabin. Most of our belongings, though, were food for the fire.

“Hey mom, I found your sword,” Aaron called out triumphantly at one point.

“That's great, kiddo. Put it by the car,” I caught Ethan out of the corner of my eye. He was grinning at me. A small smile tugged the corner of my mouth as I turned back to the task at hand.

My washing machine joined my dryer in the pile of things that couldn't be burned or salvaged. I got a little teary when my new refrigerator joined that pile as well. When we were finished sorting through the rubble that had been our cabin, our earthly belongings consisted of a handful of clothes and a broadsword.

Well, at least I wouldn't have to ask for Daddy's help moving this time. I found that thought sobering. I had no idea where I would move to. If I rented one of the small apartments in town, I could
keep Aaron and me afloat for a couple of months, but that probably wouldn't be long enough to find a new job. I was slowly coming to grips with the fact that I'd failed yet again.

I probably looked rather calm to the casual observer. Inside, I was seething with rage. Why couldn't we have caught a break just once? Just one flipping time.

Conversations went on around me and I worked like a person obsessed. The more my anger boiled, the harder I worked. The harder I worked, the more my anger boiled. I was mad at God, furious at Hobbes, and even a little ticked at Jim. I wanted to be mad at Ethan, it seemed like the thing to do, but couldn't quite muster it.

The sun was sinking over the horizon when the volunteers headed home. Jim offered to drive Sue back to her place, leaving Ethan, Aaron and I to stand in awe of how much had been accomplished in one day.

Tomorrow, if everything was dry enough, we'd burn the piles that had been created today. Aaron wasn't happy that I planned to make him go to school and miss all of the fun, but I'd never forgive myself if the burn got out of control and he was hurt.

“Who wants Chinese?” I asked, my voice flat.

“Sure.” Aaron tried to muster a smile.

We climbed in Ethan's truck. The ride to Seymour was a silent one. The amazing food actually put me in an even worse mood. I'd miss this stupid little buffet.

“Can you run me to the Dollar General?” I asked when we were back in the truck. “I need to pick up some dog food and I'm out of underwear.”

“Mom.” Aaron looked thoroughly grossed out.

“What?” I shrugged. “Even mothers wear underwear.”

“That's fine, but I don't want to think about it.”

“Whatever.” I bit back further reply. I knew my mood was foul if even Aaron was irritating me.

Apparently, Ethan realized that as well. “Why don't you come with me? We'll grab a few snacks while your mom gets what she needs.”

“Sure,” Aaron agreed a little too eagerly. I couldn't blame him. I didn't want to be around me either right now. I lowered my head
and grabbed a cart, making a beeline for the pet food. I loaded a large bag of dog food then grabbed a bag of rawhides as an afterthought.

I was so intent on picking a treat for my dogs it took me a second to realize that I wasn't alone in the aisle. A shiver ran down my spine and I looked around, a knot forming in my stomach when I saw Hobbes standing there leering at me.

“Hey neighbor.” The innocent words seemed vile coming from his lips. A picture of Ethan lying in a hospital bed flashed through my mind and my temper flared. Little red dots danced in my vision; my face felt hot. I didn't trust myself to speak, so I straightened my shoulders and grabbed the nearest bag of pig ears.

“I said…hey neighbor,” he ground the words out this time, grabbing hold of my cart as he did.

I glared mutinously at him, debating if I should just abandon the cart or wrestle it from his grasp.