TTFN (7 page)

SnowAngel:

hey, mads. i'm at one of those airport newstands. it sucks. i told my parents i needed gum, but really i needed to get away from them.

mad maddie:

hey, girl! sorry about the suck, but i'm so glad to hear from u! when does your plane take off?

SnowAngel:

too soon, that's all i know. let's talk about something else. let's talk about the party.

mad maddie:

i'm totally with u.

mad maddie:

what'd u think of chive?

SnowAngel:

oh, he's CUTE, maddie! he's thoroughly cute, in a stoner boy kinda way.

mad maddie:

chive is SO not a stoner boy. u just think that cuz he likes to party.

SnowAngel:

no, i think that cuz of the way he acts, cuz of the way he looks at u all lazy and slow and appreciative. u know, like, “it's cool, dude.” that's his vibe.

mad maddie:

that's his VIBE?

SnowAngel:

u know who he reminds me of? Matthew McConaughey, with that sexy smile of his.

mad maddie:

i'll take that. matthew m. is hot.

mad maddie:

and i'm very impressed u can spell his name.

SnowAngel:

cuz i read “People”

mad maddie:

but chive is so much more than “it's cool, dude.” he's really into philosophy, and he's taking all these literature classes. did u hear him quoting charles bukowski while dylan funneled a beer?

SnowAngel:

who's charles bukowski?

mad maddie:

and that whole story about his dog, napoleon, and how he's gonna pimp him out by putting a gold chain around his neck. that cracked me up.

SnowAngel:

i liked the fact that he went to the keg and got u refills. that was very gentlemanly.

mad maddie:

a few too many refills, unfortunately

SnowAngel:

well, i wasn't gonna say anything …

mad maddie:

i was so wasted i fell off the toilet seat. it was hysterical.

SnowAngel:

yes, it sounds hysterical *looks extremely suspiciously at friend*

mad maddie:

oh, don't go all zoe on me. i didn't tell her about that little incident, btw.

SnowAngel:

fine, but i DO worry about u. just a little.

mad maddie:

u don't need to. sometimes i get kinda psycho, but it's all fun and games.

mad maddie:

so were u surprised to see doug?

SnowAngel:

that was so awesome that he came! i'm so proud of zoe for inviting him.

SnowAngel:

and for the record, she looked adorable in her embroidered jeans and that soft white shirt that actually shows off the fact that she's a girl. i was like, “wow, did she dress up for the party?”

mad maddie:

nah, not our zo. sez she came straight from work.

SnowAngel:

with doug. i know. i made a point of talking to him, cuz he seemed so shell-shocked at being at a real live party.

mad maddie:

oh no, teenagers on the loose! oh no, underage drinking!

SnowAngel:

do u think he seemed different somehow? last night he kinda seemed cuter to me than usual.

mad maddie:

u r so funny. u just think that cuz for the first time in recorded history, he wasn't slobbering all over u. all of a sudden he's unattainable, so u miraculously think he's cute.

SnowAngel:

unattainable? who says he's unattainable?

SnowAngel:

not that i WANT to attain him …

mad maddie:

no, u just want him to lust after u in a constant state of angela-worship, like he did all last year. admit it!

SnowAngel:

maybe he's gotten taller. maybe that's what it is.

SnowAngel:

anyway, i kinda ended up flirting with him a bit too much—i don't even know why. but that's ok, i'm sure he'd rather be flirted with than not flirted with.

mad maddie:

a pity flirt. yr too kind.

SnowAngel:

aren't i? i should give lessons to zoe. when i interrupted the two of them, she just stood there like a doormat. i was like, “liven up, zo! ur never gonna catch a guy like that!”

mad maddie:

from where i stood, i'd say zoe was doing just fine.

SnowAngel:

with DOUG?

SnowAngel:

they're just friends. anyway, u were drunk, so yr judgment doesn't count.

mad maddie:

ugh, don't remind me

SnowAngel:

crudballs, they announced that it's time to board the plane.

mad maddie:

wait, don't go!

SnowAngel:

i have to, i have no choice

mad maddie:

well, call me from california—i want to hear how everything goes.

SnowAngel:

i'll try, but my battery's low and i forgot my stupid charger.

SnowAngel:

real quick—did u like my “believe” bracelet?

mad maddie:

i did, oddly enough. i liked it very much.

SnowAngel:

i keep touching it and looking down to admire it. i know it's stupid, but it gives me strength.

mad maddie:

power to the bracelet! all bow down and chant “believe”!

mad maddie:

the Kinnick Family Dinner of Thanksgiving has mercifully ended, and now i'm at java joe's escaping the hellhole that is my house.

zoegirl:

why is your house a hellhole?

mad maddie:

cuz the moms is on her third glass of chardonnay, and the dishes are stacked to the ceiling. my brother's girlfriend has taken it upon herself to wash them, only she insists on doing it au naturel cuz its better for the environment. she sent me out for dish soap—that's what i'm supposedly doing.

zoegirl:

mark's still going strong with pelt-woman, huh?

zoegirl:

omg. i just realized something horrible. we've been calling her pelt-woman for so long that i can't remember her real name!

mad maddie:

her armpit hair is long enough to braid, zoe. her name IS pelt-woman.

mad maddie:

hey, have u talked to angela?

zoegirl:

i did, but not for long because her phone died. short version: she's not having fun.

mad maddie:

well, that's the surprise of the century.

mad maddie:

holidays suck. there's so much pressure.

zoegirl:

i like holidays

mad maddie:

that's cuz ur zoe and u've got the perfect family.
that's cuz your mom and dad aren't gonna end up throwing beer cans at each other.

zoegirl:

maddie, your parents are not gonna throw beer cans at each other.

zoegirl:

are they?

mad maddie:

fine, wine bottles. and chumley the psycho kitty will attack the remains of the turkey, and before the night is over, pelt-woman will insist that we write something in her gratitude journal. and i will write, “i am grateful that the moms' empty chardonnay bottle only dislocated my shoulder and not my brain.”

zoegirl:

you are so full of it

zoegirl:

who's chumley the psycho kitty?

mad maddie:

don't ask

zoegirl:

i just did

mad maddie:

oh. right.

mad maddie:

chumley is mark and pelt-woman's new cat. he's living with us until mark finds a place of his own.

zoegirl:

and when will that be?

mad maddie:

never, cuz he's a loser. he's 22 yrs old and the moms still tucks him in at night.

zoegirl:

lol

mad maddie:

and ppl wonder why i have issues? exhibit a: my family.

zoegirl:

aw, mads, *we're* your real family. me and angela.

mad maddie:

believe me, i'd much rather be giving thanx with u guys. last year at this time, we were all sleeping under the stars on cumberland island. man, that was awesome.

zoegirl:

hold on. *i* was sleeping under the stars, and i froze my booty off. *you* were hogging the tent.

mad maddie:

the stars were pretty, tho. admit it.

mad maddie:

uh oh, there's a goatee boy hovering behind me. he's saying, “um, excuse me, but the sign says tables are ‘for paying customers only'?”

zoegirl:

he can't see what you're texting, can he?

mad maddie:

hell if i care. r u, goatee boy? r u reading what i'm writing?

mad maddie:

HA. he's pretending not to, but i can c from over my shoulder that he is. he looks all pinched and constipated.

mad maddie:

alas, i must away to the grocery store. the dish soap is calling my name.

zoegirl:

goatee boy will be so happy

mad maddie:

nah, i'm giving my table to a girl on my other side. she has been waiting very patiently. she gets five gold stars!