Tsunami Blue (11 page)

Chapter Sixteen

I sat on Gabriel’s lap, resting my head against his solid chest, and let the hot water wash over me. Gabriel was right about two things, not that I’d admit it.

First, the shower did make me feel better, and second, the tighty whities were just fine. Okay. More than fine. What that man could do for a pair of underwear. Wow. Let’s just say that color does not matter.

Gabriel had started with my hair. I watched the dark, almost black blood circle the drain, until finally the water ran clear. His hands were gentle as he massaged my head, careful where Charlie had done his best to scalp me.

He lathered up the most amazing soap I’d ever experienced. It was even better than the handmade oatmeal soap I’d rescued from an upscale boutique in New Seattle, just before most of the city went under in the last big wave.

Okay. Not rescued. Stole. But the bars were floating, so in my mind, technically, they were used.

Gabriel’s bar smelled of vanilla and almond and honey, all mixed as one. It was creamy and foamy, and I couldn’t get enough of it. As I breathed in the scent, I relaxed completely for the first time in days.

I let his hands trail over my shoulders and arms. He paused at my tattoo, tracing the intricate wave design.

“It’s beautiful,” he murmured in my ear. “It’s as though the wave comes to life.”

I smiled. I knew exactly how he felt. The first time I was caught out in the rain after I had gotten my tattoo, I saw the same thing. The aqua wave seemed to roar to life, dancing, shimmering under the water. My wave was a thing of beauty, just as all waves should be. Just as all waves would be again someday. In my heart I believed it. That was why I had gotten the tat. It was my private symbol of hope. And that was why I had insisted Finnegan’s name was added. Seamus had called me stupid and delusional. I had called him asshole and asshole.

My head rocked to one side, and I let Gabriel nuzzle my ear as he smoothed his hands under my tank and along my ribs. His thumbs caressed the underside of my breasts, and he slipped his hands up to cup them gently. My nipples hardened and pressed into his palms.

I opened my eyes and, repositioning myself on his lap, I touched his muscular thighs for balance. He had his hands on my breasts. And I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. It was wonderful; it was terrifying; it was— And that was when I felt it. Strong and hard. Demanding.

That low, low pull in my belly.

I felt dampness deep from within, pooling between my legs. I felt the push of Gabriel’s erection pressing on my bottom.

And I panicked.

I tried to stand. Too fast. My headache roared, and the dizziness returned. I lost my footing, slipping in the suds, and Gabriel caught me in strong arms.

“Blue. Please.” He pressed me onto his lap. “I’m sorry; I’m so sorry. I’d never make you do anything you weren’t ready for.” His voice caught. “Never.”

He lifted me easily so I sat sideways facing the door. Facing escape. He’d done it on purpose, buying back my trust, hoping to build my confidence that I was in control. Still, he held me fast in a possessive embrace.

So much for control.

Sensing my discomfort, Gabriel let go and pushed his hair off his forehead in frustration.

“Look, I’m sorry about the hard-on.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“My, um, erection. But damn it, I’m a guy. And you’re a beautiful woman. One I’ve seen naked. A lot.”

Well, that was embarrassing.

“And,” he added, “I like you. A lot.” He narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice. “Maybe more than a lot.”

“You’re a Runner, Gabriel. That makes you an entirely different kind of guy. You know, the kind you don’t take home to Mother. So don’t be getting a crush on me.”

He looked insulted. “A crush?”

“And for the record,” I continued, “I’ve seen you naked, and you don’t see me groping you at every chance. I don’t know if I like you, even a little.”

He looked at me with that dark expression. The dangerous one. “You like me, Blue O’Malley. And you want me. You just don’t recognize it.”

O’Malley? I hadn’t been called by my last name in a decade or more. I was Tsunami Blue. I didn’t know who Kathryn O’Malley was anymore. And Gabriel was right: I did want him. But I did recognize it. I also recognized the danger that went along with it.

Using the last of the hot water, he rinsed us off from head to toe and back again.

He looked stern, bothered, and miserable. I noticed that his erection was gone. Guess he didn’t want me anymore. So now I was miserable. And that made absolutely no sense.
Damn it
, I chastised myself,
what do you want?
His words weighed heavy on my heart:
You want me. You just don’t recognize it
.

As he picked me up in his arms and carried me to the bunk in the V-berth, I saw regret flicker in his eyes. He pulled out a clean, well-worn T-shirt and tossed it my way.

“You should get out of the wet clothes.” He frowned at my frown. “Please?” he added. “You can’t afford to get sick on top of a concussion.”

“On top of a black eye, on top of a swollen lip, on top of a bruised—”

“I get it, Blue.”

I was taken aback at the anger in his voice. I was trying to lighten the mood. I sighed. Guess I wasn’t much of a comedian either.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to take better care of you.” Sadness and regret laced his voice.

“I’m still alive,” I said softly.

He punched his teak cabinet hard and the drawer popped open. Turning his back to me, he skimmed off his wet underwear. And even with my messed-up vision, I could clearly see what a magnificent butt he had. Damned if he didn’t have magnificent everything. Why did he have to be a Runner? Why couldn’t he just be Gabriel, my dark angel, and call it good?

He reached back into his drawer and brought out a clean white tee, then turned to face me, holding the garment just so to cover that part of him that terrified me the most. It was the part that fascinated me the most too.

A single candle burned, and its flickering light danced and played along the hard lines of his body. He looked beautiful. Darkness and danger just rolled off him naturally. What was it about a bad boy?

I never realized until that moment that I could want any man as much as I wanted Gabriel Black.

He leaned across me and blew out the tiny light. But not before he saw me flinch away from him, a reflex as second nature to me as breathing.

“Nice,” he said with a sigh. “Like I could ever hurt you. Nice.”

I woke with a start to that voice of silk I’d recognize anywhere. Even in my dreams. Dreams that were leaving me damp and wanting and frustrated.

“Wake up. It’s time to check your eyes.”

I groaned. “You just did.”

“That was an hour ago.”

“They’re still blue. Good enough?”

He ignored me and reached over to light a tiny tea candle next to the bunk—with matches, of all things. Not a flint and stone for a spark. Real matches.

“Matches?” I asked in amazement.

Gabriel reached across me and opened a teak drawer. He grabbed a handful on matchbooks and scattered them on the blanket before me.

There were matchbooks of all sizes and shapes. They were imprinted with things like
Tony and Angela’s Wedding
, and I wondered if they were still married. Or still alive after the waves. I hoped they were. Then there was
The Martini and Bikini Bar
, which sounded like fun, but I’d never owned a bikini, so maybe I couldn’t have gotten in. And bikinis usually required big boobs, so there was that. And, of course, there was my personal favorite,
We Leave Bite Marks Club.

That sounded like my kind of place.

Gabriel said it was a vampire-wannabe club in what had once been Vancouver, that it had been all the rage before the waves. Now it was gone, swallowed long ago by a tsunami that came in the dead of night, which I guessed was sort of appropriate. Still, I told him that sucked, no pun intended. I really was disappointed.

He brought the light over and shined it in one eye, then the other. Satisfied, he blew out the candle.

“You go back to sleep now.”

“Can’t do it.”

I heard a long sigh and then, “Why?”

“I need answers.”

“Now?”

“Why not now?”

“I thought you wanted to sleep for twenty years.”

“Ten,” I said.

“Whatever. Just go to sleep. Trust me: You’ll need your strength in the morning.”

“Yeah. Call me crazy, but hiding from Runners is exhausting that way. Trouble is? I’ve got a Runner in my bed.”

“My bed.”

“Small details.”

“Still, it’s mine.”

“Well, you were in my bed. Until you burned it up.”

Silence. And then, “Couldn’t be helped.”

“Sure it could have.”

“How’s that?”

“You could have not visited my island. You could have not washed up on my beach. You could have—”

He rolled over and kissed me. Hard. It so surprised me that I melted into him for a moment, not sure what had just happened. Was happening. And by then, I wasn’t sure I wanted it to stop. But he stopped.
Damn it.

“You want answers?” He reached under the blanket and rubbed the top of my thigh with lazy fingers. “How about a trade?”

“A trade?” That sounded like something my alter ego Bambi would do. And I kind of liked it. “What type of trade?” I whispered.

“The kind we just did.”

“Um, the kind you did.”

“You were there too.”

I touched my swollen lip, which throbbed some from the pressure of the intimate kiss. Yep, I sure was there too. And I had to admit, I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. Not even Christmas Blend.

“Okay, I’ll play.”
Why not?
I told myself. Bambi needed answers. And let’s get real: So did I.

He started to kiss me. “Hey.” I pushed him back. “I go first. No freebies.”

“Then go. Let’s get this game started.”

I thought I detected a little excitement in his voice. And that in turn excited me. At last, answers to my questions. Now all I had to do was concentrate.

“How did you end up unconscious on my beach?”

He rolled partially on top of me, his leg straddling one of mine. “I fell in the water,” he whispered. Then he kissed me. Careful of my swollen lip, he nuzzled my mouth open, biting softly on my lower lip.

I loved it. My nipples hardened, and the twinge in my belly roared to life. I was scared. I was thrilled.
Shit.
How’d I get so sidetracked? I pushed him away.

“‘I fell in’?” I asked. “What kind of answer is that?”

“Ask better questions.”

“How? How did you fall in the water?”

“My Zodiac capsized. The surf was too strong.”

He kissed me again, this time more demanding, deeper, with tongue involved. And hands. He caressed my thighs under the blanket with feather-soft strokes as he moved on top of me, careful of his weight. I almost moaned in pleasure. I thought using his hands was cheating. But hey, I wasn’t a referee, right?
Right
, said Bambi.

I pulled away from the kiss, gasping at his nearness. Nothing was making sense. He was too good a sailor to try to beach in a midnight winter surf. I tried again.

“Are you a good Runner?”

“There are no good Runners.” Gabriel shifted his body on mine, and I felt his erection hard against my thigh.

The kiss lasted longer this time, and my bearings slipped farther away. My mind was mush, while my body ached for something I’d never had.

“Who’s Indigo?” I asked when I could breathe.

“Someone to avoid.”

And the kiss started all over again and went on and on and on.

“Why do you want me?” I asked after a ridiculous amount of time of kissing and touching.

“Because you’re beautiful.” Kiss. “Because I don’t share.” Kiss. “Because you’re mine.” A longer kiss.

That wasn’t what I meant to ask. What I’d meant to ask was,
What do you want to do with me?
No, that wasn’t right. He was showing me what he wanted to do with me. Hell, he was doing it with me. And I was doing it right back. This question-and-answer thing was just not working out.

My breasts ached for his touch, and when he skimmed the T-shirt off my body and put his lips to my nipple, I moaned soft and deep. “Okay,” I whispered in his ear as I ran my hands through his silky hair, “that’s a bonus question.”

“Whatever you say.”

My body arched into his, and I closed my eyes to the anger and hurt and pain of the past. Something was happening, or maybe about to happen. I didn’t know for sure. I’d never been with a man before. And I was pretty sure that after tonight, I’d never want to be with any other man than Gabriel Black. And didn’t that just scare the hell out of me. I mean, I really didn’t know who he was. Or what he was. I knew only that for now, for tonight, he was everything.

And I was ready for everything. Wasn’t I? Ready for him. I thought of Gabriel in my bed the night I’d found him. I knew his size, knew every inch of him. It was intimidating and scary and thrilling all at once to think of him and me together in that way. But hell I was a twenty-four-year-old woman. I was ready, right? In surroundings like this I could die at any time, and I wanted this experience. Didn’t I?

I did. From start to finish, I wanted all that Gabriel was offering.

“Gabriel,” I said. He lifted his head from my breast, and I pulled his shirt off the same way he had mine.

“What did you mean,” I said as I ran my hands down his chest, “by not doing anything I’m not ready for?”

Gabriel paused and cocked his head. I could see his expression in the moonlight. Thoughtful.

He rolled off me and pulled me close to his body as if to protect me. He shoved his hand through that black hair of his and sighed.

“Look, I didn’t mean for things to move so fast for us.”

“You don’t want this?” I tried to keep my voice steady, to keep the hurt from seeping through. I’d been rejected before. This wasn’t new. But I was lying to myself. Everything about this situation was new.