Trust (18 page)

“
Pots and pans it is,
”
he smiles.  His fingers are still
running along my body but have moved from the outside of my thighs to the
inside
now.  It
’
s distracting.

“
Really, though,
”
I say, shifting my legs slightly.  Not
to get away from him, but opening my thighs just enough to give him better
access.  He takes the hint. 
“
What are we going to do?
”

“
I have a few ideas,
”
he says, his curious
fingers finally landing on the prize I know he was after. 
A shiver runs up my back as soon as he makes contact.

“
That
’
s not what I mean,
”
I say.  But it’s
a start.

“
I know,
”
he smiles. 
“We’ll
figure it out.  Later.
”

Yes. 
Later.  My thighs open a lit
tle bit more. 

Much
later.

Although
Chase stayed in town for the week, as promised, he got his own room so as not
to make Evelyn feel crowded or like we were pushing her out.  I
didn’t
object because the hotel was close by
and every time we had sex
in my apartment with Eve
around, I felt like I had to stay quiet and restrained.  After the week we
’
d had together in Vegas where we could
be as loud as we wanted, I felt spoiled and held back.  So most nights would
end in loud, passionate sex sessions at
his hotel
room, after a day of helping my roommate pack. 

Although
our packing sessions really only lasted a few hours each day - from when Evelyn
got home from work until she determined that she
’
d had enough.  Still, with Chase
’
s help the packing moved
faster than she had anticipated anyway.  And each night
after we had called it quits, the three of us would have dinner together until
Eve was tired, leaving Chase and me to retire back to his hotel. 

I
’
m finally starting to see more of the
benefits of a
paid room from Chase
’
s point of view.  Each day we come home
to a tidy room, fresh sheets and towels, and no concerns about being too
noisy.  Although I do sometimes wonder whether any guests on either side of us
can hear some of our more vocal sessions.
 

The
only problem is, I still haven
’
t figured out what I want to do.  Since that first night,
Chase and I have been avoiding the topic of our near future by engrossing
ourselves in our immediate future.  Sleeping late, lounging at the hotel pool,
sex, pa
cking, eating, more sex, back to sleep.  It
only takes a couple of days for that to become a routine that lulls us away
from thinking about what we will do when it all ends.  Now that Friday has
arrived, we have even less than usual to distract us.  Evelyn
is off work, staying at home to handle the movers, and
Chase and I are headed over there later to keep her company.  But the prospect
of her leaving is impossible to ignore now that it
’
s finally upon us.  Once she
’
s gone, there will be no more reason for
the hotel, no more afternoon packing sessions or
roommate to keep company, no more excuses for us to ignore the inevitable
questions of what to do next. 

Chase
is sitting on one of the chairs by the window, the skyline of Toronto looming
over his left sh
oulder as he scrolls through his
phone.  As the week has gone by, he
’
s been on it more and more, responding
to questions about where he
’
s been and what he
’
s doing.  Not only from friends or other
poker players in Vegas, but from fans expecting to see him a
t yet more tournaments he
’
s cancelled to hang out with me instead.

He
denies it, but I know he
’
s missing the action.  I
’
m starting to worry that he
’
s soon going to realize that life with
me will actually be terribly uninteresting, a fact that
I’ve
mention
ed on
more than one occasion.

“
What are we going to do?
”
I ask, sitting down on the edge of the
bed next to his chair.  I reach out and put one hand down gently on his knee to
get his attention.

“
Did you want to go to the pool again?
”
he asks, not lookin
g up from the tweet he
’
s writing.

“
No, I mean in the grand sense.  What are
we
going to
do
?
”

Now
I have his attention.  His thumbs have paused mid-sentence and he looks up at
me. 

“
I know you
’
re bored,”
I continue. 
“
Hanging around a home all day
isn’t
really your style.  You
’
re all about the adventure.  The
gambling, the motorcycles, the skydiving, and whatever else it is that you
spend your off hours doing.
”

“
Lila, as hard as it seems to be for you
to believe, I appreciate my downtime as well.  I
’
m e
njoying
this.  Us.  I
’
m not anxious to go back.  I don
’
t have to go back.  That’s
part of this lifestyle.  I don
’
t answer to anyone but myself and what I
want to do.  You
’
re who I want to spend my time with now.
”

Now. 
But how long is that going to last?
 I
’
m not entirely convinced that a
lifestyle like this can keep a man like Chase satisfied.  Hell, after the taste
of his lifestyle last week, I
’
m not sure I want to go back to a life like this either. 

“
Eventually we both have to go back to
our lives,
”
I insist. 

Chase
shrugs, more with his eyes than his shoulders. 
“
Why can
’t
our lives
change?  Why ca
n’t
this be our lives?
”

“
What’s
this?  We
aren’t
doing anything.  We
’
re in a hotel.
”

“
I’ll
have a house soon.
”

“
I don’
t live in Vegas.
”

Chase
stands
up and comes to the bed, pulling me up and
into a hug. 
“
You worry too much,
”
he says softly. 
“We’ll
figure it all out.  There
’
s no rush to do it right away.  I know
you don
’
t want to be dependent on me, and I get
that, but at least for now don
’
t worry ab
out money or anything
like that.  I have enough to go around, and the thing
I’ve
figured out about it is, it
’
s useless to have when you
’
re alone.
”

I
start to shake my head but he squeezes me tightly. 
“Lila, I
’
m serious. 
We’ll
figure out something that w
orks for both of us, I promise.  But for now, let
’
s just relax a bit.  Consider this just
being on vacation for a little while.
”

I
laugh lightly at the thought.

“I
’
m serious,
”
he says. 
“
In fact, let
’
s make it a real vacation.
”

“
What do you mean?
” 
I pu
ll back
from his embrace a bit to look at him.  His eyes are serious, although they do
have a little excited gleam to them.

“
I mean, let
’
s go somewhere.  You can
’
t have a proper vacation in your own
city.  So that means no Toronto or Vegas.
”

“Chase,”
I s
tart to
protest with a little shake of my head. 

“I
’
m not taking no on this, Lila.  We only
had a week in Vegas with my issues with the house and Denise, and now we
’
re back here with your stresses of your
apartment, best friend leaving and lack of job pr
ospects. 
Let
’
s go someplace where the only baggage we
take with us is whatever we can store under the plane.
”

“
I don’
t know, it seems irresponsible of me to
go somewhere when I don
’
t even have a job. I sent out a bunch of resumes this week,
what if one o
f them calls me back?
” 

“
If it
’
s that important to
you, we’ll
only be a flight away.  We can come
back if your dream job calls.
”

“But-”

“Lila, trust
me.  Let
’
s do this.  I want to go somewhere with
you.
”

I
let out a long heavy breath.  There
’
s no poin
t
arguing with him.  He
’
s right.  There
’
s no reason for me to stay here, and we
both know my dream job
isn’t
going to be calling.  I
didn’t
even apply to anywhere this week that I
really even want to work at. 
“
Where would we go?
”
I finally relent.