Authors: Charles Portis
"See what good it does you!" said I. I began to cry, I could not help it, but more from anger and embarrassment than pain. I said to Rooster, "Are you going to let him do this?"
He dropped his cigarette to the ground and said, "No, I don't believe I will. Put your switch away, LaBoeuf. She has got the best of us."
"She has not got the best of me," replied the Ranger.
Rooster said, "That will do, I said."
LaBoeuf paid him no heed.
Rooster raised his voice and said, "Put that switch down, LaBoeuf! Do you hear me talking to you?"
LaBoeuf stopped and looked at him. Then he said, "I am going ahead with what I started."
Rooster pulled his cedar-handled revolver and cocked it with his thumb and threw down on LaBoeuf. He said, "It will be the biggest mistake you ever made, you Texas brush-popper."
LaBoeuf flung the switch away in disgust and stood up. He said, "You have taken her part in this all along, Cogburn. Well, you are not doing her any kindness here. Do you think you are doing the right thing? I can tell you you are doing the wrong thing."
Rooster said, "That will do. Get on your horse."
I brushed the dirt from my clothes and washed my hands and face in the cold creek water. Little Blackie was getting himself a drink from the stream. I said, "Listen here, I have thought of something. This 'stunt' that you two pulled has given me an idea. When we locate Chaney a good plan will be for us to jump him from the brush and hit him on the head with sticks and knock him insensible. Then we can bind his hands and feet with rope and take him back alive. What do you think?"
But Rooster was angry and he only said, "Get on your horse."
We resumed our journey in thoughtful silence, the three of us now riding together and pushing deeper into the Territory to I knew not what.
*
Dinnertime came and went and on we rode. I was hungry and aching but I kept my peace for I knew the both of them were waiting for me to complain or say something that would make me out a "tenderfoot." I was determined not to give them anything to chaff me about. Some large wet flakes of snow began to fall, then changed to soft drizzling rain, then stopped altogether, and the sun came out. We turned left off the Fort Gibson Road and headed south, back down toward the Arkansas River. I say "down." South is not "down" any more than north is "up." I have seen maps carried by emigrants going to California that showed west at the top and east at the bottom.
Our stopping place was a store on the riverbank. Behind it there was a small ferry boat.
We dismounted and tied up our horses. My legs were tingling and weak and I tottered a little as I walked. Nothing can take the starch out of you like a long ride on horseback.
A black mule was tied up to the porch of the store. He had a cotton rope around his neck right under his jaw. The sun had caused the wet rope to draw up tight and the mule was gasping and choking for breath. The more he tugged the worse he made it. Two wicked boys were sitting on the edge of the porch laughing at the mule's discomfort. One was white and the other was an Indian. They were about seventeen years of age.
Rooster cut the rope with his dirk knife and the mule breathed easy again. The grateful beast wandered off shaking his head about. A cypress stump served for a step up to the porch. Rooster went up first and walked over to the two boys and kicked them off into the mud with the flat at his boot. "Call that sport, do you?" said he. They were two mighty surprised boys.
The storekeeper was a man named Bagby with an Indian wife. They had already had dinner but the woman warmed up some catfish for us that she had left over. LaBoeuf and I sat at a table near the stove and ate while Rooster had a conference with the man Bagby at the back of the store.
The Indian woman spoke good English and I learned to my surprise that she too was a Presbyterian. She had been schooled by a missionary. What preachers we had in those days! Truly they took the word into "the highways and hedges." Mrs. Bagby was not a Cumberland Presbyterian but a member of the U.S. or Southern Presbyterian Church. I too am now a member of the Southern Church. I say nothing against the Cumberlands. They broke with the Presbyterian Church because they did not believe a preacher needed a lot of formal education. That is all right but they are not sound on Election. They do not fully accept it. I confess it is a hard doctrine, running contrary to our earthly ideas of fair play, but I can see no way around it. Read I Corinthians 6: 13 and II Timothy 1: 9, 10. Also I Peter 1: 2, 19, 20 and Romans 11: 7. There you have it. It was good for Paul and Silas and it is good enough for me. It is good enough for you too.
Rooster finished his parley and joined us in our fish dinner. Mrs. Bagby wrapped up some gingerbread for me to take along. When we went back out on the porch Rooster kicked the two boys into the mud again.
He said, "Where is Virgil?"
The white boy said, "He and Mr. Simmons is off down in the bottoms looking for strays."
"Who is running the ferry?"
"Me and Johnny."
"You don't look like you have sense enough to run a boat. Either one of you."
"We know how to run it."
"Then let us get to it."
"Mr. Simmons will want to know who cut his mule loose," said the boy.
"Tell him it was Mr. James, a bank examiner of Clay County, Missouri," said Rooster. "Can you remember the name?"
"Yes sir."
We led our horses down to the water's edge. The boat or raft was a rickety, waterlogged affair and the horses nickered and balked when we tried to make them go aboard. I did not much blame them. LaBoeuf had to blindfold his shaggy pony. There just was room for all of us.
Before casting off, the white boy said, "You said James?"
"That is the name," said Rooster.
"The James boys are said to be slight men."
"One of them has grown fat," said Rooster.
"I don't believe you are Jesse or Frank James either one."
"The mule will not range far," said Rooster. "See that you mend your ways, boy, or I will come back some dark night and cut off your head and let the crows peck your eyeballs out. Now you and Admiral Semmes get us across this river and be damned quick about it."
A ghostly fog lay on top of the water and it enveloped us, about to the waist of a man, as we pushed off. Mean and backward though they were, the two boys handled the boat with considerable art. They pulled and guided us along on a heavy rope that was tied fast to trees on either bank. We swung across in a looping downstream curve with the current doing most of the work. We got our feet wet and I was happy to get off the thing.
The road we picked up on the south bank was little more than a pig trail. The brush arched over and closed in on us at the top and we were slapped and stung with limbs. I was riding last and I believe I got the worst of it.
Here is what Rooster learned from the man Bagby: Lucky Ned Pepper had been seen three days earlier at McAlester's store on the M. K. & T. Railroad tracks. His intentions were not known. He went there from time to time to pay attention to a lewd woman. A robber called Haze and a Mexican had been seen in his company. And that was all the man knew.
Rooster said we would be better off if we could catch the robber band before they left the neighborhood of McAlester's and returned to their hiding place in the fastness of the Winding Stair Mountains.
LaBoeuf said, "How far is it to McAlester's?"
"A good sixty miles," said Rooster. "We will make another fifteen miles today and get an early start tomorrow."
I groaned and made a face at the thought of riding another fifteen miles that day and Rooster turned and caught me. "How do you like this coon hunt?" said he.
"Do not be looking around for me," said I. "I will be right here."
LaBoeuf said, "But Chelmsford was not with him?"
Rooster said, "He was not seen at McAlester's with him. It is certain he was with him on the mail hack job. He will be around somewhere near or I miss my guess. The way Ned cuts his winnings I know the boy did not realize enough on that job to travel far."
We made a camp that night on the crest of a hill where the ground was not so soggy. It was a very dark night. The clouds were low and heavy and neither the moon or stars could be seen. Rooster gave me a canvas bucket and sent me down the hill about two hundred yards for water. I carried my gun along. I had no lantern and I stumbled and fell with the first bucket before I got far and had to retrace my steps and get another. LaBoeuf unsaddled the horses and fed them from nosebags. On the second trip I had to stop and rest about three times coming up the hill. I was stiff and tired and sore. I had the gun in one hand but it was not enough to balance the weight of the heavy bucket which pulled me sideways as I walked.
Rooster was squatting down building a fire and he watched me. He said, "You look like a hog on ice."
I said, "I am not going down there again. If you want any more water you will have to fetch it yourself."
"Everyone in my party must do his job."
"Anyhow, it tastes like iron."
LaBoeuf was rubbing down his shaggy pony. He said, "You are lucky to be traveling in a place where a spring is so handy. In my country you can ride for days and see no ground water. I have lapped filthy water from a hoofprint and was glad to have it. You don't know what discomfort is until you have nearly perished for water."
Rooster said, "If I ever meet one of you Texas waddies that says he never drank from a horse track I think I will shake his hand and give him a Daniel Webster cigar."
"Then you don't believe it?" asked LaBoeuf.
"I believed it the first twenty-five times I heard it."
"Maybe he did drink from one," said I. "He is a Texas Ranger."
"Is that what he is?" said Rooster. "Well now, I can believe that."
LaBoeuf said, "You are getting ready to show your ignorance now, Cogburn. I don't mind a little personal chaffing but I won't hear anything against the Ranger troop from a man like you."
"The Ranger troop!" said Rooster, with some contempt. "I tell you what you do. You go tell John Wesley Hardin about the Ranger troop. Don't tell me and sis."
"Anyhow, we know what we are about. That is more than I can say for you political marshals."
Rooster said, "How long have you boys been mounted on sheep down there?"
LaBoeuf stopped rubbing his shaggy pony. He said, "This horse will be galloping when that big American stud of yours is winded and collapsed. You cannot judge by looks. The most villainous-looking pony is often your gamest performer. What would you guess this pony cost me?"
Rooster said, "If there is anything in what you say I would guess about a thousand dollars."
"You will have your joke, but he cost me a hundred and ten dollars," said LaBoeuf. "I would not sell him for that. It is hard to get in the Rangers if you do not own a hundred-dollar horse."
Rooster set about preparing our supper. Here is what he brought along for "grub": a sack of salt and a sack of red pepper and a sack of taffy -- all this in his jacket pockets -- and then some ground coffee beans and a big slab of salt pork and one hundred and seventy corn dodgers. I could scarcely credit it. The "corn dodgers" were balls of what I would call hot-water cornbread. Rooster said the woman who prepared them thought the order was for a wagon party of marshals.
"Well," said he, "When they get too hard to eat plain we can make mush from them and what we have left we can give to the stock."
He made some coffee in a can and fried some pork. Then he sliced up some of the dodgers and fried the pieces in grease. Fried bread! That was a new dish to me. He and LaBoeuf made fast work of about a pound of pork and a dozen dodgers. I ate some of my bacon sandwiches and a piece of gingerbread and drank the rusty-tasting water. We had a blazing fire and the wet wood crackled fiercely and sent off showers of sparks. It was cheerful and heartening against the gloomy night.
LaBoeuf said he was not accustomed to such a big fire, that in Texas they frequently had little more than a fire of twigs or buffalo chips with which to warm up their beans. He asked Rooster if it was wise to make our presence known in unsettled country with a big fire. He said it was Ranger policy not to sleep in the same place as where they had cooked their supper. Rooster said nothing and threw more limbs on the fire.
I said, "Would you two like to hear the story of 'The Midnight Caller? One of you will have to be 'The Caller.' I will tell you what to say. I will do all the other parts myself."
But they were not interested in hearing ghost stories and I put my slicker on the ground as close to the fire as I dared and proceeded to make my bed with the blankets. My feet were so swollen from the ride that my boots were hard to pull off. Rooster and LaBoeuf drank some whiskey but it did not make them sociable and they sat there without talking. Soon they got out their bed rolls.
Rooster had a nice buffalo robe for a ground sheet. It looked warm and comfortable and I envied him for it. He took a horsehair lariat from his saddle and arranged it in a loop around his bed.
LaBoeuf watched him and grinned. He said, "That is a piece of foolishness. All the snakes are asleep this time of year."