NINE
HADLEY
“C
an you believe how excited everyone is about a stupid dance,” Paige says bitterly as we pass yet another poster in the school hallway about the fall dance tomorrow night. It flutters against the wall as the door at the end the hallway opens, letting in a gust of air.
“I know, right?” I blow out an annoyed breath.
“I’m sure it’s gonna be super boring. I mean, who wants to stand around in the sweaty gym wearing a god awful dress, listening to bad music and dancing with guys who have BO.”
I laugh at the picture Paige just drew and nudge her in the side. Paige always knows how to lift my spirits. “And don’t forget about the fruit punch.”
“Do people really drink that? I thought that was only in movies.”
I shrug. “Don’t know. I’ve never been to a school dance.”
Paige links arms with mine. “That’s because we’re too cool.”
I giggle. “Yes, that must be the reason no boys ask us out. It’s because we’re too cool.”
She glances over at me with a sure smile on her face. “It is true, Hads. You do know that it’s the nerds who rule the world, right? Just look around.” Paige spreads her arms out and my gaze sweeps the crowded hallway. “All those popular girls are going to end up marrying at eighteen, and have a gaggle of kids in their twenties. By the time they’re in their thirties they will be fat and lonely, and stuck at home while their husband is out with his secretary.”
I stifle a laugh, feeling bad that we’re talking this way about people. “That’s mean, Paige.”
“Mean, but true. This is the time of their lives. It’s all they have. You and I, on the other hand, still have our best years ahead of us.”
I hold my chin up, wishing I was as confident as Paige. Maybe it’s just because she has an older sibling and that’s given her a better perspective. If only I could be more like her. If only I didn’t care so much what people at this school thought of me. I try to keep my
thoughts focused on the future and the idea that one day things won’t suck so bad.
Just when I’m feeling good, we round the corner and I practically walk straight into Tripp. My heart stutters in my ches
t and my palms clam up. I look up and catch his eye. He opens his mouth, and I think he might say something to me. Then Maverick slaps him in the upper arm and Tripp moves around me, not daring to make eye contact again.
He’s such a mystery to me. I remember how nice he was when I hit his car a couple mornings ago. His graciousness was so unexpected. I mean, I gave him the perfect ammo to humiliate me
, and he didn’t even use it. I just hope he’s not planning to at a later date. Luckily, he was right. The damage to my car wasn’t bad at all. I just wiped the bumper clean, and Mom hasn’t even noticed.
Determined not to let
his wishy-washy behavior bother me, I lower my gaze and continue walking forward. It’s not like I ever fooled myself into thinking that Tripp was really interested in me anyway. I was never dumb enough to fall for his nice act.
“And they’re going to have huge beer guts and spend all day sitting on the couch watching sports,” Paige says to me, stealing a quick glance at their backs.
I force a smile even though my stomach is in knots. How can Tripp seem so nice and sincere outside of school, but seem like such a jerk at school? Peering over my shoulder, I catch a glimpse of Tripp’s group heading down the opposite end of the hallway. Just when I’m about to turn back around, Tripp glances back too, and our eyes meet. Embarrassed that he caught me looking, I whip my head back around and face forward. My pulse quickening, I walk faster and try to keep my thoughts off of Tripp Bauer, even though I'm certain it's a losing battle.
“Alright.” Paige stops in front of her biology class. “Wish me luck. I think we’re dissecting frogs or something equally gross today.’
I giggle. “Good luck.”
“See you after school?”
“Yep.” I wave goodbye and then hurry a few doors down to my class. I slip inside and rush toward my desk in the back row, knowing that the bell will ring any second. Just when I almost reach it, I stumble over something on the ground. My body wavers and I worry that I’ll topple over. Much to my relief, I’m able to right myself and keep my balance. The bell peals, and I stiffen.
“Sit down, loser,” a girl’s voice calls out, and I hear a few giggles.
Face flaming, I lower myself into my chair. I dare a glance in the direction of the girl who spoke to me, and instantly recognize her as Sonya’s new best friend, Molly. Memories of freshman year crash over me, and I feel sick. As I pull the notebook out of my backpack, I think about what Paige said. I hope she’s right. I really hope things do get better after high school. It’s the reason I’ve never considered doing anything drastic. There was a girl in our school last year who tried to commit suicide because things were so bad. I felt sorry for her, and realized that she must not have had a friend like Paige to remind her that things would get better. I didn’t really know the girl, but I do remember she was a loner. The hope of things to come is what keeps me going. I just wish time would hurry up so I can get out of here.
On Saturday night I feel pretty down in the dumps. Not that I would ever admit it to anyone, but it kind of sucks to not be asked to the fall dance. As much as I spout off about the ridiculousness of it and how much I don’t want to go, it still stings that no boy deemed me worthy of asking. I mean, it’s not like only the popular girls go to the dance. There are nerdy girls who were asked. Sure it may have been by nerdy guys, but they seem okay with it. Not even a nerdy guy asked me. Apparently I’m not even good enough for them.
Rob and Mom are going out to dinner
, and Paige is coming over to watch movies with me. Paige swears that our Saturday night will be so much better than going to the dance, but I have my doubts.
I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to go. It might be kind of fun to buy a pretty dress and have my hair and makeup done. I imagine how romantic it would be to dance with a boy
, even if it is in the school gymnasium. A few minutes after Mom and Rob leave Paige pulls up in our driveway. Abandoning my silly fantasies about the dance, I open the front door and walk outside. The air smells like damp asphalt and faintly of grass and flowers.
Paige hoists an overnight bag out of the front seat and steps out of the old minivan she drives. When Paige got her license
, her mom finally shed her minivan and got a sports car. Too bad for Paige she had to inherit the “mom mobile” as she likes to call it.
“You brought a lot of stuff,” I say
, taking in the bulging bag.
“I thought we could give each other make
-overs.” Paige slams the car door shut with her hip.
“Oh
, no,” I groan. “Last time we did that I ended up looking like a drag queen.”
“But a hot drag queen
,” Paige points out.
As we make our way back up to the house,
the sight of Tripp and Sonya walking down his driveway catches my attention. Sonya is wearing a short strapless dress, her hair tumbling down her back in large curls. Her heels are high, making her legs look even longer than usual. Tripp is wearing a tux, and his hand is tucked in Sonya’s as he ushers her to his car. Tripp’s mom flashes pictures of them as he opens the car door for Sonya. My chest tightens as if someone is sitting on it, and I struggle for breath. I think of all the awful things that Sonya’s done, and it angers me. Why should she be the one getting what she wants? It isn’t fair.
“
Now,
she
looks like an ugly drag queen,” Paige says with a laugh.
I kno
w that Sonya doesn’t look ugly, but I appreciate the sentiment. Turning away from Tripp and Sonya, I smile at Paige. “Yeah. I'm sure she'll look super gross after sweating off all that makeup in the cramped gym.”
“True. The air conditioning hardly works in that place.” Paige shivers like the time I threw a worm at her. “And with all those people dancing, it’s gonna get pretty nasty.”
“Seriously. Thank goodness we avoided that whole scene.” I stalk toward the front door. After guiding Paige inside, I try to keep thoughts about the dance at bay.
TEN
TRIPP
“T
ripp, c’mon, let’s get another picture,” Mom holds the camera up to her face, her eyes and nose vanishing behind it.
Sonya interlocks her arm in mine and pulls me close. The flash blinds me, and spots fill my vision. I stagger away from
Sonya, pulling on the collar of my dress shirt. I can barely breathe in this thing, and I’m sweating like a pig.
“And let’s get one in front of the fireplace.” I haven’t seen Mom this giddy in a long time, but I’ve appeased her enough with the first tw
enty pictures.
“Mom,” I say. “I think we have enough pictures.”
“You will do as your mother says, son,” Dad’s voice bellows, and I stiffen.
“Yes, sir.” I obediently make my way over to Sonya, placing my hand on the small of her back. Then I guide her to the fireplace.
She leans into me with a sweet smile. “See, this isn’t so bad.”
Dad smiles at us from across t
he room, and it irritates me. Sonya has definitely put both my parents under her spell. But I suppose it’s not so bad. She’s doing me a favor, really. Dad’s happy that I’m dating the head cheerleader, and even Mom appears more relaxed than usual. Allowing myself to relieve a little tension, I pull Sonya closer and smile as Mom takes yet another shot.
“Okay, that’s enough
, Mona,” Dad says to Mom. “Now let these kids get to their dance.”
Mom reluctantly drops her arm, holding the camera near her waist. “Okay. You two have fun,” she says to us.
“Oh, we will, Mrs. Bauer.” Sonya turns to me with a wink.
My stomach flips. Sonya has never looked hotter than at this moment. She’s wearing a short black strapless dress that shows off her cleavage and her impossibly long legs. I’m starting to think that maybe this night won’t be so bad after all.
Visions of the stuffy school gym causes me to cringe. Maybe I can talk Sonya into ditching the dance and we can go make out all night somewhere.
As Sonya pulls on my arm, her wrist corsage catches on the cuffs of my jacket
, an abrasive reminder that Sonya will never go for my alternate plan. Sonya doesn’t do anything without an audience. No, I’m pretty sure going with me to the dance was a strategic move on her part.
“It was so nice to meet you
, Mr. Bauer.” Sonya flutters her eyelashes.
“You too, pretty lady,” Dad responds. “Have fun, you two.”
Feeling sickened, I nod and grab Sonya’s hand. Mom follows behind us as we walk outside. The flash looks like a strobe light against the inky black sky as Mom fires off a couple more pictures. Wanting to get the hell out of here, I keep pulling Sonya toward my car. When I open the passenger door and guide her inside, my head bobs up and I spot Hadley and her friend in the driveway a few houses down. I’m just about to wave at her, but then think better of it. After closing the passenger door, I make my way around the vehicle and slide inside.
“Your parents are so nice,” Sonya says.
“Yeah,” I lie.
If only she knew the truth.
I back down the drivewa
y, Mom and Dad still watching us. Once I'm on the street, I turn my car so that Mom and Dad are just tiny figures in my rearview mirror. Only then do I allow myself to breathe.
“I’m so excited for the dance. I can’t wait until Molly and Trista see me in my dress. They are totally gonna die. Last week we were all shopping at the mall and we saw a dress just like this one, and oh
, my god, they were totally drooling over it.”
As
Sonya drones on about things I care nothing about, I glance over at Hadley’s house. She and her friend have already gone inside. I wonder what they’re doing tonight. Maybe watching a movie and eating popcorn and candy. Jealousy surfaces at the thought. I can’t remember the last time I did whatever I wanted on a Saturday night.
“Tripp, are you even listening to me?” Sonya’s voice cuts into my thoughts.
“Um…yeah.” I scratch the back of my neck, and then turn the corner.
“Then what do you think?”
About what?
“Um…I think it’s great,” I say, hoping this is the right response.
“Yay. I’m so glad.” She smiles, patting down her large curls.
Her cheery response causes me to wonder what I just agreed to. I’ve got to pay more attention tonight. Even as I think it, my mind starts wandering back to Hadley. I don’t know what it is about that girl, but for some reason I can’t stop thinking about her.
The parking lot is more crowded than I thought it would be when we pull into the school. My tires crunch on the gravel as I park. When I turn off the engine, Sonya lets out a squeal that causes me to flinch.
“There is Molly and Trista! Hurry up. I wanna catch up to them!” Sonya grabs my arm, her fake nails poking me.
My skin crawls with irritation, but I force a cordial smile. I retract her fingers, and then step out of the car. Sonya waits like a patient little princess for me to open her door and help her out. Latching onto my arm, she hobbles forward in her stil
ettos. A slight breeze kicks up, causing her perfume to swirl into my face. I cough.
“Molly! Trista!” She hollers, and her shrill voice pierces my ears.
Her friends twirl around and squeal too. They abandon their dates and come rushing toward us.
“Oh
, my gosh, you look amazing!” Trista gushes.
“I love your dress, Sonya,” Molly offers.
Sonya smiles, drinking in the compliments, but doesn’t offer any back. I nod at Toby and start to walk toward him, grateful for a minute away from all the girls. But Sonya holds on tightly, not allowing me to leave her side.
“Come on,
Tripp. It’s time to make our big entrance.” She gruffly drags me toward the gym, her heels clicking on the pavement.
I didn’t realize we were supposed to make a big entrance.
As I allow Sonya to guide me forward, I feel like a freaking show pony. I’m clearly only here as some sidekick in the Sonya show. Wishing for the umpteenth time that I never asked her to this stupid dance, I follow her inside. The gym is dimly lit with crepe paper strewn crudely from the ceiling. A DJ stands in the corner playing music that is so before our time, while couples dance in the middle of the gym.
Sonya’s friends skitter in behind us, laughing and chatting. I wonder if Toby is as annoyed with the whole scene as I am.
“Hey, you made it.” Mav comes up behind me, his date Lauren by his side. She wears a floor length black dress that swims around her feet as she walks, giving the impression that she’s floating. Mav leans over and whispers in my ear, “So, did Sonya tell you about the party afterward? My older brother was able to get a keg and everything.”
That must be what Sonya was talking about in the car while I was tuning her out. I shake my head. “Nah, man, I can’t make it. Gotta be home by curfew.”
“What? C’mon, you’re always such a party pooper,” Sonya interrupts our conversation. She sticks out her lips in a pout. “When I told you about it in the car you said that you wanted to go.”
“I’m sorry, but the old man’ll kill me,” I say with a laugh. Only the truth is
, I’m not joking.
“But I wanna go.” Sonya casts her eyes downward.
Seriously, does she think her little whiny act is going to work?
“If daddy’s boy here won’t take you, I will.” Mav winks at Sonya. I glance at his date, feeling sorry for her. Her face drains of color as she takes in the exchange.
Way to go, Mav.
Sonya notices too, but it only seems to buoy her mood. “I’d love that.” She turns to me, her lips pursed. “You don’t mind, do you, Tripp.”
“No, it’s fine. Whatever.” I can’t keep the venom out of my voice.
“Don’t be jealous. You still have me all to yourself right now.” Yanking on my arm, she draws me to her. “Dance with me.”
I want to tell her that I’m not jealous. I want to tell her that I’m happy to unload her on Mav, because I don’t want to be here with her anyway. But I don’t. Instead, I wrap my arms around her waist and allow her to rest her head against my chest. Her fingers dance up my chest and rest on my shoulders. It’s a slow song, and Sonya moves sensually to the music, pressing her waist into me. Despite my best efforts, she succeeds in turning me on. When she lifts her head to peer up at me, I want to kiss her. So I lower my face, pressing my lips against hers. Her chalky lipstick sticks to my lips and tastes like soap. My mind wanders to the sweet smell of Hadley’s watermelon gloss. Imagining that she’s in my arms, I kiss back with vigor. However, I know it’s not her, and pretty soon I’m sickened by the whole thing. I pull away from Sonya, and she immediately wipes her mouth with her hand.
Watching her, I realize that no matter how hard I try to like her, she’ll never be the one. None of these girls here are. But I have a feeling that the right one is closer than I ever imagined.