Treadmill (14 page)

Laura drove Cooper home from the bar. They were silent all the way up Connecticut Avenue, but as she made the left on East West Highway and headed toward his building, he could no longer remain silent.

“Why didn’t you tell her all of it? She’s obviously on your side.”

Cooper was not without his own level of guilt. He had not mentioned seeing the yellow Honda at the Georgia Mews’ parking lot. He had not revealed what he had learned about Parrish.

“You’re right. Prentiss is a good woman,” Laura said. “She won’t leave it alone. She can’t. But who knows what she hasn’t told us.”

The car pulled up to the curb a few blocks from his building. He opened the door and got out. It was time, he decided, to make his stand. Cooper wanted out.

“Listen, Laura…I’m running,” he said, searching for a light touch.

“So you’re taking my advice?”

“Yes. This is not my problem. Forget my number as of now.”

He started moving away toward his apartment. When he finally looked back the car was gone.

****

Cooper lay on his bed, fully clothed, his eyes searching the ceiling, as if there were answers to be found there. To remove any residual doubt in his mind, to deny any possibility of the paranoia ever returning, he did a random security check of the apartment, including carefully taking apart the phone. Nothing seemed amiss, reinforcing his sense of withdrawal.

He picked up
The Magic Mountain
, to distract himself. It was no use. He reviewed his excursion to the Shamrock with Laura, and decided that he had picked the right time to disengage.

A strange sound suddenly jangled into the room. Cooper quickly glanced at the digital clock. It was nearly one. He must have dozed. He realized it was the phone, and answered it.

“Jack?”

It was a female voice. He listened for a moment, heard breathing.

“Yes,” he answered, still puzzled by the voice.

“This is Susan.”

“Susan!” He sat up abruptly, picturing her.

“I woke you, right? I’m so sorry.”

“No. It’s alright.”

“I’ve been lying here,” she said. Her mouth must have been close to the speaker. “Thinking about you.”

“You have?”

“Am I being too aggressive?” she asked.

“Not at all,” Cooper replied. Now that he was fully awake, he felt comforted. Her voice was throaty.

“I can’t get you out of my mind,” Susan said. “I loved having you to lunch.”

“I loved it, too.”

There was a long pause, but he could hear her breathing.

“I…I had a scare today. I was coming home from work. I…I know how you must have felt. Being followed.”

“Carlton?”

“I think so. I’m not sure. But I’ve taken precautions. I have a gun.”

“Jesus, Susan.”

A shiver of fear passed through him. He felt his heart pounding.

“I have it right here. Under my pillow. I’m okay now. I’ve also changed the locks on my door. I feel a lot safer now, talking to you.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure. Carlton just can’t accept that it’s over between us. I think he needs help.”

“Would you like….” Cooper swallowed deeply, “I could come over.”

“No. Not now. I feel much safer. Just talking to you helps.”

“Are you sure? I could be there in thirty minutes.”

“I’ll be fine. If you came here I’m afraid we wouldn’t get a minute’s rest. I have the early shift. I’ve got to have my wits about me.”

“Of course,” he said. But she had summoned up images in his mind of their afternoon together, and his body was reacting. He remembered the last time he had talked intimately with a woman on the phone. It had been ugly, contrived, and he had hung up in shame and despair.

“I loved being in your arms Jack. I loved touching you.”

“Me too.”

“I wish I could touch you now,” she sighed. “Can you see me in your mind, Jack?” He could hear her breathing accelerating.

“Yes. Yes I can.”

“I’m getting all hot and wet, Jack. My nipples are hard. Are you hard?”

He felt the old need, the old reflex. It felt good.

“Yes.”

“Are you touching yourself?”

The suggestion moved him to do so.

“Yes, I am.”

“Doesn’t it feel good?”

“Wonderful. I feel…” He wanted to say “alive again.” But he held back. It would imply history. He didn’t want history. Cooper wanted everything to begin anew with Susan Haber.

“Oh God, I wish you were inside of me. Stroking hard. Very hard. Do you feel me?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Harder.”

He heard her gasping.

“Come inside me, Jack. Please.”

He felt himself erupt.

“Oh my God,” he heard himself cry.

Through the long silence that followed, he heard her breathing. Slowly, it settled.

“I…I don’t know what came over me,” she said. “I’ve never done that before.”

Actually, he had done that before. When they were first married, Margo would call him. It didn’t matter where they were. It surprised him how little the memory meant. It had no effect. Margo had become part of another life, a fading memory. He no longer felt the pain.

“Are you still there, Jack?”

“Of course.”

“I knew you were. I could hear you breathing.”

“It was nice, wasn’t it?”

“Very,” Jack said.

“Better than being all alone. I hate being all alone.”

“I’d rather be with you too,” he said.

“Soon,” she sighed.

There was a long pause.

“I don’t know how you handle it,” she said.

“Handle what?”

“Being alone,” she said.

“Practice,” he answered cheerfully. “You’d be surprised.”

He picked up the book next to him and held it in his hands. Then he looked at the pile of books stacked against the wall. They were a comforting sight. They had pulled him through a hard time.

“When can I see you?” he asked.

“I’m working out my schedule. The doctor is going on vacation and has doubled up on his schedule. I have no time for myself,” she said. “Or for us. You know, I’d never forgive myself if Carlton made trouble for you.”

“Carlton? I’m not afraid of him,” Cooper said. “If Parrish could handle him, I can.”

“Good old Parrish, basking in the California sun. Are you still hung up on your theory about him?”

“I don’t think so.”

He felt suddenly that that statement needed embellishment.

“I’m free of anything that has to do with Parrish.”

“Good.”

Suddenly, Laura and her agenda passed into his head. Then it struck him, why he had held back about telling her who had informed him about Parrish being in California. He did not want Susan involved. He wanted her out of it, protected. She was Cooper’s private preserve. He did not want her soiled by Laura’s obsession. Whatever was happening, Cooper did not want it to spill over to her, to them.
Them?
The word implied a bond between him and Susan.

“What are you thinking about, Jack?”

Cooper wanted to tell her everything. Everything. He did not want to be alone any longer. The old life had passed away.

“I’m thinking about how meeting you has changed my life.”

“I hope so,” she said. “I’m ready for a change myself.”

“How long were you and Carlton together?”

“Three years,” she sighed. “For most of that time, it meant nothing. Nothing. To tell you the truth, I feel closer to you now, even through the telephone, than I ever felt to him.” She paused. “Do you believe me?”

“I want to.”

He suddenly felt an extreme need for her presence. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

“I told you, the doctor….”

“When then?”

“By the weekend, I think,” she said. “Yes, the weekend.”

It was Tuesday.
Four whole days,
he thought.

“That long?”

“But we’ll talk every day till then. Won’t we?”

“Yes. And I won’t worry about Carlton.”

“Forget Carlton,” she said. “Forget him forever.”

Cooper promised himself that would try to erase his past as well.

“Where are you going tomorrow?” she asked.

“Tomorrow? To the club.” For the first time in months, Cooper did not associate the club as his lifeline. Susan had opened up another window in his life.

The following morning, Cooper was barely awake as he groped for the phone. Susan was the very first thing that sprang to his mind and he needed to talk to her.
No
, he corrected himself. He needed to be with her.
Now. Today
. She had held out the idea of a cancellation. Perhaps it had happened. He had to know.

He luxuriated in the idea of this new need. Life had returned. The prison cell of his mind had opened. Joy had returned, and with it, a sense of purpose. Perhaps ambition even. He would start again to look for a job, arrange his life to accept hope, recognize the reality of his diminishing financial prospects. Move on.

Phone in hand, he realized that he didn’t have Susan’s number. He had simply forgotten to ask. He called information. To his dismay he discovered that there was no phone listed in the name of Susan Haber. He was insistent, but the operator simply pointed out that there was no way she could give him a number of a non-existent person. An unsettling feeling came over him,
Of course she is an existing person
.

He called the resident manager’s office of Georgia Mews. All he got was a recording when the office would open. Then he tried to recall the name of the doctor she worked for, a plastic surgeon.

But then, he remembered, Susan had promised to call him today. That was enough to dispel his disappointment. He had told her he would be at Bethesda, and she had promised to call him there.
To the club then
, he decided happily. He wished he could compress time. The weekend was too far away.

He got into his usual jogging outfit and carried his tote bag. He felt free. A stone had been lifted from his heart. He jogged happily to the gym. For the first time in months, he noticed things. A child smiling, a woman wheeling a shopping cart, a group of men trimming the branches of a tree. The air was brisk, the sun clear in the cloudless sky.

He arrived at the gym earlier than usual. He was happy to discover that he was no longer a slave to schedule. He was actually alone in the room. It was probably too early for Blake. And Kessler. He had even beat Laura, who was always there when he arrived.

Poor Laura Chase
. Cooper pitied her now. She would probably spend the rest of her life looking for her husband’s killer.
Let her immerse herself in her mystery drama
. He was finished with that.

Instead of starting on the treadmill, he worked backwards. Weights first. He would end on the treadmill. Reversing his routine was another symbol of his freedom. He was free of Margo. Free of his depression. Life was filled with possibilities.

Melnechuck came in soon after, a sour expression on his face. Cooper felt odd. He pictured Anni, the little Filipino woman with ripcord muscles pounding endlessly on the treadmill, raped and strangled. Cooper nodded toward him. Melnechuck didn’t acknowledge him. Then Kessler arrived. Later, two of the women regulars came in, their iPods still stuck in their ears. Cooper smiled at them but they didn’t respond either.

Cooper strangely found himself waiting for Laura to appear. He decided that he would wave and smile at her as well. And Blake, too. Blake, he remembered, was going to review his workout.
No
, he suddenly thought.
No more routines. Not in anything.
His conversation with Susan had illustrated, life could be lived spontaneously. He enjoyed the sexual fantasy they had created. It felt good. There was nothing like using your imagination. It also revealed a measure of trust between them.

Cooper was on shoulder pull-downs when he realized that Laura had not yet arrived. It was well past her scheduled time. He forced himself not to be concerned. After all, she was a busy investigator on the trail of a vast conspiracy that involved the Vice President of the United States. He looked at the clock again, and the empty space where Laura would normally be busy doing her sets or running on the treadmill. Kessler worked relentlessly on the treadmill.

Blake strutted in, waved two fingers at Cooper, and went back into his office. Cooper was amazed at the optimism that was animating his life. But one inhibiting feeling kept crawling into his head, the growing sense of anxiety about Laura. It was nearly eleven. She had promised to be at Prentiss’ office around noon. Perhaps his abandonment of the pursuit had caused her to reorder her schedule. He couldn’t blame her. He returned his concentration to the phone call he was about to receive from Susan. There was a telephone in Blake’s office, in the corridor, the shower room, and behind the lunch counter, anyone of which might ring. They were all connected to the central keyboard. When he did hear one or the other ring, he caught his breath and waited for an announcement on the PA system calling him to the phone. None came.

Blake came out of his office and approached him.

“Would you like to review your workout?” he asked pleasantly.

“Not today,” Cooper said. He wanted no part of Blake today.

He began to double up on his sets, just to postpone the end time of his session. Between waiting for Susan’s call and the vague anxiety about Laura’s absence, Cooper felt himself getting edgy. Possible scenarios connected with Laura’s search for her husband’s alleged murder started to re-emerge.

To what lengths would a public figure go to keep a secret from the people? Perhaps the Vice President had AIDS. A Presidential candidate could not possibly admit that he had a life threatening disease. And perhaps a doctor had, for an enormous price, discovered some medical procedure or miracle drug that put the disease in remission. Being an idealist, Dale Chase could not abide by the idea that something like this was being kept under wraps, put at the exclusive service of Vice President Haley’s ambition. Anni Corazon, who had assisted either in the procedure, knew too much and therefore also had to be eliminated. Raped to throw anyone off the scent.

He looked at the clock again. It was nearly noon.

Where the hell was Laura?
And why hadn’t Susan called?

Laura had given him her number. He had tucked it away in his wallet, which he kept in his tote bag in the locker room. Cooper wondered if he should go back to his apartment and wait for Susan to call or go directly to her place and wait for her there. At that point, he remembered that the Club must have a
Yellow Pages
on the premises. Perhaps if he looked up the names of various doctors under ‘plastic surgeons’ it would jog his memory.

Postponing his shower and sauna, he got the
Yellow Pages
from the receptionist at the front desk. Cooper went down the list of plastic surgeons, but none of them rung a bell. Instead, he called the resident manager’s office of Georgia Mews, but again got a recorded message. Apparently the manager was now out to lunch.

Back in the locker room, he was surprised to find Kessler still there, drying his hair with one of the hair dryers. Before Cooper entered the shower, Kessler turned off the dryer and turned to him.

“That lady,” Kessler said. “You could set your watch by her. Where is she?”

“Beats me,” Cooper said, instantly on his guard.

“You seem to have been a friend of hers,” Kessler continued.

“More like an acquaintance,” Cooper said.

“Davis, right?”

“I think that’s her name,” Cooper confirmed, trying to show disinterest. At that moment another idea emerged in his mind.

“We seem to be losing our regulars,” Cooper said, watching Kessler’s face.

“Regulars?”

He seemed confused.

“The Filipino woman,” Cooper said.

“Ja. What happened to her?”

Cooper shrugged. Kessler’s expression told him nothing.

By the time Cooper had showered and dried himself off, he had grown more anxious, on two counts. Laura had not shown up and Susan had not called.

He checked the now empty exercise room. Even Blake had gone. Fishing in his wallet, he found Laura’s number and called it from the pay phone on the corner. After four rings, the answering machine picked up.

“Jack, here. Call me at home later.” He looked at his watch. “It’s one o’clock now.”

He could no longer deny his growing anxiety. He was not indifferent to her plight. He became genuinely worried. Yet, he felt stymied, unable to figure out a course of action. He called the resident manager of Georgia Mews again. A woman answered and he explained that he wanted Susan Haber’s telephone number.

At first, the woman was reluctant to give out any information, but Cooper was persistent. Finally, she relented.

“What was the name again?”

“Susan Haber.”

There was a long silence. He could hear the phone being placed on a hard surface.

“We don’t have a Susan Haber,” she said when she came back on the phone.

“Of course you do,” Cooper said. “She lives across the hall from a tenant who just left. Parrish. His name is Parrish.”

There was another long silence.

“I’m sorry…”

“Well, whose name is the apartment in?” he asked.

“We can’t give out that information, sir.”

“Is your boss in?” Cooper asked with mounting frustration.

“He’s on vacation. He’ll be back in a week.”

He cursed the woman under his breath. There was no point in pressing further. He knew the drill.

Starting down the corridor to the lobby, he stopped abruptly and sat at his former place at the lunch counter.

“Back to the usual routine?” the woman behind the counter asked.

She woman brought him a Coke, and began to put a Swiss cheese sandwich together. It tasted like sawdust in his mouth, and he couldn’t concentrate on the squash game in progress. He tried Laura’s number again. Again, he heard the answering machine deliver her curt message. He did not leave another message.

Cooper stayed at the club most of the afternoon. No calls came. Finally, he left the club and jogged home. It was impossible to concentrate on anything. He felt impotent, powerless.