Authors: Nicole Smith
“Hello Natalie. I’m here to help you
actually
, as I said I always would. Do you remember that time
in your room when you were
little? I meant to tell you then that I will always protect you, I am your angel
, whether you like me or not
. I am going to
help
yo
u get back to where you belong. The
light
inside you
will lead you
home
, do
n’t you know that?” she smiled.
I stared at her blankly, still not trusting her. Fo
r an angel, she never
appeared
when I needed her the most.
“
It is time for you to stop listening to all the voices in your head. You have to close them out. You have to
be silent and
agree to be led. You have to be moved by the bree
ze Natalie
, like you
d
id
when you were a little girl
. Just let go
of it
all
,” s
he sp
oke in such a calm voice. She made me feel calm and hopeful again. I did as she said, I stopped trying to
thi
nk. I stopped fighting it. I allowed
the light
to
shine out of me. I relaxed my muscles and let the warm familiar breeze take me
away this time
. I don’t think I have ever felt so relaxed, comfortable and at peace in my entire life.
I slowly closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep. I was surrounded in darkness but I wasn’t afraid. I was safe. I was asleep
, or so I thought.
“I think it may be time to br
ing her in to a hospital Hayden,
” Clive said, without hiding the worry he felt
. Hayden glanced from him to Carlos
, looking tired and confused
.
“Really
Clive,
I thought if we moved her she wouldn’t be able to find her body again
. I think it’s
still
too soon. She still has a pulse. She hasn’t been gone more than seven days yet. Her vitals are still g
ood
,” Hayden questioned this suggestion
but knew Clive was
right
.
“Hayden, it’s been four days since she’s eaten. She can only drink a small amount of water at a time. Her body will fade before she retur
ns if we don’t get her help now,
”
Clive explained, he
wouldn’t wait for a
ny excuses. He left the tent and began to pack up the camp. He
prepare
d
a spot for Natalie in the truck.
Hayden leaned over her
and listened for her breath. He held her hands and sighed.
“You have to come back no
w darling, before it’s too late,
” Hayden spoke with such a mi
x of anger and anguish
.
He stood up and began to pack the clothes and blankets in the tent. He picked up the bag and pulled the tent flap back. Hayden stepped out and passed the bag to Carlos. He stretched his hands over his head and
looked up at the early mor
ning sun rising over the trees.
“
I love sunrises
,
” Hayden heard the
voice he
has been listening to
in his sleep
over
the last few ni
ghts. He thought at first it might be
just in his head, until he heard Carlos shout.
“Natalie!”
Hayden swung around.
He
reached out, afraid to touch me. I
smiled and reached my arms out to hug him. I knew I
was back
, this i
sn’t a
dream. Hayden couldn’t hold his
tears
back
as they poured from his eyes.
“Natalie, are y
ou ok? Are you hurt?” Hayden needed to be sure there wasn’t anything
physical
ly
wrong with me
.
“Well, a
ctually I think I’m hungry,
” I smiled as he held me close.
Clive looked me over, took my pulse,
he
listened to my heartbeat.
When he felt
confident there was
n’t
any
thing physically wrong with me he
sat back and stared at me. I sighed with relief, happy
to be back in the apartment but it didn’t seem the same. It felt different somehow, the air, the light, the view from the living room window
. E
verything seemed a little bit different
. I’m calm but there i
s something not quite right
here. I took in a deep breath as I
looked up at Clive
, slowly breathing out
.
“What can I tell you? What can I possibly say that would even come close to expl
aining where I have been? It seemed
so far away, so u
nreal yet completely true. It’s like I existed
somewhere close but
still
unreachable.
I needed help but could
n’t call for it. I believe I lingered
in a sort of l
imb
o, not alive and not dead. I’ve been
al
one Clive, so alone,
”
I tried to explain but
I just
couldn’t
get it right
.
He held my hand as a si
ngle tear rolled down my cheek.
“You
’
r
e
not alone anymore Natalie.
You have all of us and all the S
eekers as your family
now
, you know this right?
You will never be alone
again
. Hayden and Carlos never left your side the whole time you were gone, I just
think you should know that too,” h
e smiled and squeezed my hand.
Hayden came into the room, showered and changed. He looked so beautiful I just want
ed to hold
him and never be away from him again
.
“I a
m sta
rving Natalie and I know you must be
t
oo. I’m just going to run out and get us
all something,
” Hayden
said as he
kissed my cheek
and walked toward the door. I
panicked. I could barely make a sound as he
placed his hand on the
door
knob
. My hands shook, I began to sweat
.
I tried to speak as a quite moan escaped from my lips
.
“Hayden, let me go instead,
” Clive interjected after witnessing my
sudden
panic attack.
“Um, how
about we just order in, d
elivery ok
with everyone
? Let me take
care
of i
t Clive,
” Hayden
said
, his voice sounding unsteady as he spoke.
I think he
has started to feel the
unease in here
too
.
“Should
we wake Carlos?”
I asked. He had recently gone to take a nap
in the den.
“No, we’ll wait till the food a
rrives. I have a feeling he may
need
his rest,
” Clive i
s catching on quickly
to the unsettledness surrounding us
.
I wanted to ask them to stay for a few days, until I knew that Abigail and Stella were gone
too
.
I knew it’
s something else though
that’s causing this
.
I
felt like I had changed somehow and
I needed
their
help.
As
I loo
ked ou
t over the city
I began to understand why I felt so anxious
since I arrived back here
.
I had to tell Clive and Hayden
that
I still had a foot in the other realm
. A part of me i
s still there or I have
somehow
brought it back with me
. When Hayden returned to the room he sat beside me
on the sofa
. Clive positioned himself opposite us.
I tried to sit still, as the
uncomforta
ble silence surrounded us
. They wanted me to talk but didn’t know ho
w to ask the questions they need
ed answers too.
I tried to smile at both
of them. I folded my hands and placed them on my lap. Hayden reached over an
d
covered my hands with his.
“I am with you Natalie. We will get through this together and if we can’t get throug
h it I will stay with you in it,” h
e squeezed my hands gently and
then
looked
t
o
Clive. He understands something isn’t right yet.
“I am with you too, but I have told you this already. Natalie, you have to be open with us. You can’t keep secrets. You have to tell us where you are at
now
. It’s the only way we can help,” he sighed as he
sat back in his chair.
“I’m not sure how to explai
n this but
I believe a part of me is still in that o
ther place, in that o
ther realm,” I paused, feeling a soft change in the air
surround me.
“
No, that’s not right
either
. It’s
more like something from that
realm has followed me here. I could see the dead before but now, now it’s more. It’s like they are in me, in my head. I am not
safe from them
here
anymore
either
,
” I knew I still wasn’t describing
this right. Only time will
tell how this changes my life, b
ut what I
did know
i
s that life as I once knew it will never be the same
again
.
“Hey, were you guys going to let me sleep all night
or what
?” Carlos came bounding out of the room. I sighed in relief. I didn’t want to talk anymore.
I was
ravenous as I ate dinner. I couldn’t get enough.
Once I
finished I just wanted to
crawl into bed. Exhaustion came over me quickly. I said goodnight and left the room in wh
at seemed like a dream. As I laid there on the
bed I could hear the
three of them talking, but I’m
too tired to listen
to them, I faded into sleep.
When I awoke I
walked out of the room,
wearing a long white nightgown.
Hayden must have bought this for me. I touched the lace that ran from my neck down to my leg
s. I walked out onto the balcony through
th
e open
sliding
door
s
. I stood looking out
on
to
the city lights glowing in the darkness. I looked up at the n
ight sky and bathed in the glow
of the full moon. I di
dn’
t notice that
I
had
climbed up onto the railing an
d balanced
on it with my
bare feet
until I felt Hayden’s hands
gripping
my waist. He grabbed me and carried me in to the apartment, placing me
down
on the couch. He closed the sliding doors that led to the balcony and pulled the curtains closed, blocking out the night sky.
“Natalie, why w
ere you out there?” Hayden gasped
as he stood in front of me. I didn’t
really know why I felt
drawn to the balcony
.
“I wish I knew Hayden. I actually don’t even remember climbing up on the railing
either,
” I
told him, looking up
, tryin
g to hide the fear I felt consuming me
. I l
ooked down at the pajamas I
now
had on
. The nightgown must have been part of
a dream. I must have been sleep
walking, I thought.