TRAITORS (17 page)

Pablo and Zina entered the small room where Luis was waiting for them. The three fused into a tight clinch and remained so for two or three minutes without saying a word.

Finally, Luis turned to Zina and began: “Once again, I apologize for my irresponsibility and for having put you in such a bad situation. I hope to repay you one day for everything that you have done for me. I know time will heal everything. Although I feel great pain in my soul to see you suffer, I know that peace will come back into our lives.”

Zina took him by the hand, looked him in the eyes and said, “Love, forgive us for having failed you today. I promise you that we will work hard for everything to go well, but I feel betrayed by everyone. The principal was overcome by fear and she cowed; the same thing with the others who promised to help us. It was a sad day not only in our lives but also of those in this country. Fear and apprehension triumphed once again. Racism and discrimination are far from over. Our religious leaders permitted it, and the American people remain silent about injustice. I feel that my heart is torn, but it inspires the hope that we will be together again. Even if I have to follow you to the ends of the earth, I will always be by your side. I renounce my father, in the same manner as he has also betrayed us. I will always wait for you.”

With a lump in his throat Pablo said, “My brother, I swore to give my life for this country. I don’t renounce it. On the contrary, I will always keep on fighting to defend it, but I renounce the evil-hearted Americans, the group that sows hatred in our communities.”

“The world holds Americans in high regard for their great kindness. They are the first to give a hand to countries in distress. But those groups of racists try to poison us. But goodness will always triumph over evil. I know I failed in my promise to take care of you, and perhaps due to being in the battle field. I don’t regret it, on the contrary, I stand by it. I know that justice will be served and we’ll be together again just as before. But… there’s just something else I want to tell you…”

Suddenly there was silence in the room. Zina covered her face with her hands and burst into tears. Pablo shed two large tear drops and embraced his brother with great force. He cleared his throat to summon up courage. He did not know where to start. Luis looked at both his girlfriend and his brother not understanding what was going on. His face showed great concern. What was happening, why so much drama. He didn’t even imagine what had happened.

“I received a call from Guadalajara today,” Pablo continued. “I really regret telling you this under these circumstances, but this morning… Grandma Andrea passed away.”

Luis let out a great cry of pain and fell to his knees. He held his head with both hands and burst into tears like a child.

His world seemed to end. He felt rage, pain, impotence—he couldn’t believe destiny could bring him so much pain in such short time. Drowning in agony, he reproached God for everything that was happening.

He also felt shame before his brother and his love, Zina. He didn’t know what to do or say. He remained on his knees, crying over the tremendous sorrow he felt at that moment. His Granny—his beloved Granny was gone forever.

“Damn it! Damn it!” he repeated again and again. “Why did it have to be like this? I failed. God, this cannot be, why did you allow it?” Pablo got up and took him into his arms. Two guards had approached to see what was happening.

“There is nothing to berate,” said Pablo while holding his brother in his arms. “Fate has played us wrong. Grandma was just simply tired. I believe God has her in His kingdom now. I’m sure she will continue watching over us from heaven. Her love was so great that it will never end. Even though she is not here, that love will remain in our lives forever.”

Nobody said anything. The three were simply in a warm embrace of love. They didn’t even notice that the guards were watching them. The time was up and Pablo and Zina had to leave. Luis had to go back to his cell; but the guards did not want to interrupt this moment of sorrow. Although they didn’t know what had happened for certain, they could see the pain that all three felt.

“Time is up,” a guard said very sheepishly. “Luis must return to his cell.”

“I will leave for Guadalajara today,” Pablo said. “I’ll keep you informed with all the details.”

With tears in his eyes, Luis said in a fairly high voice, “I love you. I love you, Zina, I love you Pablo. Tell Grandma to forgive me for not being with her in the last moments of her life. I will never forgive myself for this. Tell her that I will always say a prayer for her eternal repose. Zina, my love…” he went on, addressing her “forgive me for everything and never forget that I love you with all my heart. I do not know how I can bear all this pain. I can only just ask God to give me strength.”

They all went back to the San Fernando Valley. Pablo had to leave immediately to bury his grandmother. On the way back, he called a friend to make him an emergency reservation as he could not waste much time.

They had much to do in Guadalajara. Although the family of Uncle Antonio was there, his sister was looking forward to having him since she was surely devastated by what happened. Her Grandmother Andrea was gone. She had been more than a grandmother to her. She had been a mother who took care of her for many years.

That afternoon bore so much pain for Luis. Not only had he lost his case in court and was to remain unjustly imprisoned to be followed by a shameful deportation process, but he had also lost the most precious treasure he had in his life, his
Sweet
Granny
. She had taught him the values life and had taken care of him since he was a baby. She was gone and he owed her thousands of promises yet to be fulfilled. He would never fulfill them now, and he regretted it deep in his heart. He held the image of the Virgin of Guadalupe, which he always carried, and knelt begging forgiveness while crying out for an explanation for what had happened.

Some fellow inmates saw him suffer in silence. His weeping did not stop. On the contrary, it became more intense as he imagined what would have crossed the mind of his grandmother to be dying alone without the presence of her beloved children. Why was life so cruel? If losing one’s parents is the greatest pain that a human being can ever experience, then losing them and not being able to be with them in their last moments of life is perhaps twice as painful; and much more for not being able to bid them a last farewell. He had heard many cases where people lost their parents or siblings and had the tragedy of not even being able to go and say goodbye, but he never considered the possibility that it would happen to him, much less under these conditions. He also imagined the suffering of his sister Maria. How could she have endured such pain? Why had they left her alone with such a big responsibility? Was it possible that she also felt guilty over what happened? But what could a sixteen year old girl do? It was a lot for her.

Luis began to recount his life from the moment that his mother died. He thought about how bad they needed to migrate because of the country’s terrible economy. First, it was his brother who migrated, then him. He recalled the moment of his arrival in the U.S. and the huge effort he made to adapt.

He also recalled how he had dedicated his time to the service of others and how every person who, in some way, received something from him had betrayed him. What would showing up have caused them? Would it be too much to give him just an hour of their life? He had not asked them for much, not money or fortune. He only asked for a testimony that he deserved to be forgiven and to be freed.

With love and pain, he also remembered all his happy moments since he met his beloved Zina. The love at first sight between the two had been so great. He thought of the thousands of plans they had made to live a life together. They had shared the best moments of their adolescence with each other. On and on, he reproached the pain that he had caused her amidst all these problems. He wanted her next to him and to ask her for forgiveness. He also recalled the plans that his brother had made him when he decided to bring him to this country and how, afterwards, his brother joined the US Army.

Five or six hours had passed. The lights of the cell were already off. Most of the other inmates were already asleep. It was a few minutes after midnight, and the pain he felt had gradually transformed into anger and outrage for being locked up in there. He imagined the pain that his family felt because of him, and he couldn’t do anything to heal it. He took a small flashlight, paper and a pen from his belongings and began to write:

Today I realized that I have lived among traitors. Traitors are the politicians of our countries who do not seek the welfare of the people. They only seek that what benefits them and fatten their pockets forgetting that there is a community dying of hunger. Every official promises to make changes, but every time, the incoming is worse than the outgoing. They force their citizens to leave their homeland and their families. Once we are here, the officials, of those countries we left behind, applaud the money we send to our families back home since it is of great help to the country’s economy. But they forget that we are being treated like criminals here, and when we ask for their help, they simply turn their back on us, leaving us under the mercy of unjust laws, which get increasingly harsh.

Equally treacherous are the politicians
of this country, who in their campaign, promise to provide a solution for the undocumented. But these
false promises are made with the cruel intention of gaining [mainly] the Latino vote. And just like Zina’s father, they are ashamed to go a step further in search of solutions. They forget that they, in one way or another, have immigrant roots. Congress makes asingly harsher laws against us, betraying us by treating us like delinquents. They have approved billions of dollars for humanitarian aid to other countries, while those of us who live here are being separated from our families. They spend millions of dollars in the fight against terrorism, while our communities are terrorized by raids or checkpoints. Where is our humanitarian relief?

Traitors are also our religious representatives, who are silent because of what people might say. They forget that their community is in need of a solution… There are so many religions, and so many believers… yet in the end, they don’t do what they know is right so as to avoid being attacked by the media. How can anyone live serving God, yet ignore the need and welfare of his fellowship, school, parish or community?

Traitors are also those who belong to the media. They make the offense of an illegal immigrant become a great scandal so that it comes out all over the news and point out that we should not be here. Despite this, they suppress the achievements of the undocumented. How can a racist commentator go home and talk about love to his family, after wishing so much ill for another human being?

Traitors are also all those immigrants who came to this country and after obtaining legal status, forget that there is a community in pain and in need. They forget to support the causes of the struggle for legalization. Some of them are even ashamed of their ancestry and of the movements that activists do in our favor.

Traitors are also those teachers, who in the classroom teach about ‘justice and freedom for an indivisible nation’ yet in moments when we need their support, they forget all about their teachings and forget that some of them, or perhaps their parents or grandparents, came to this country with the need to raise their families and seek a better life. In many cases, they even engage in acts of discrimination against immigrants putting an end to our schooling or careers, leaving us abandoned to our fate.

I also feel betrayed by the representatives of social welfare, who at the time of receiving our help, did not care about our status; but when we need them, they cower and turn their back on us.

I also feel very sad over the betrayal that my brother received, who, even after serving his country and putting his life on the line, was turned away, forgetting about the help he had given to this great nation. Though he was in the front lines of battle, he was betrayed without consideration.

Traitors are also those immigrants who come to this country only to commit crimes and overshadow the good people who have come to work and seek to provide resources to the country. They probably seek an easy way to achieve wealth and power, or a life without sacrifice. They have only come to bring forth humiliation to our community. The laws that attack us all should only be for them, so that they can be punished and they would understand that we come to this country to work.

Traitors are also all those minorities who do not join forces for a general union, because they hide from the light thinking that it’s only the problem of Hispanics, unaware that they are as equally included, because racism is inclusive against all immigrants.

Finally, traitors are all those anti-immigrant groups who seek to poison the heart of the American people. They forget about the foundation of this country. They think that by promoting hatred, a monument will one day be raised in their honor for all the contempt they sowed in the hearts of those who listened. Some countries already harbor enough hate against this nation, so much so that they even sow it in our midst. How can they give a hate interview targeting immigrants and then go to their church to talk about “love thy neighbor”? How can anyone even promote the separation of families and then use their credit cards to make a donation for humanitarian aid? The American people should stand up to these hate groups.

But more treacherous are the same Hispanics who join these groups and become racists themselves toward their own people. They do so just to get attention or to be accepted into a group so they can receive recognition for their declared hatred against our community.

I apologize for my words and the rancor that emerged in my heart at this time, but I want this letter to reach the hands of each person who turned their back on me and betrayed me when I most needed them. This is also for all American citizens so that they may know the feeling of an immigrant.