Authors: The Long-Awaited Child
“Did you just say them to hurt her as much as she had hurt you?”
Tess bit her lip and nodded. “I’m so childish. How could I have acted that way? I’m a grown woman. How could I so completely disregard her feelings?”
“You were upset. I can see that you still are. Wanna talk about it?”
Tess nodded. “Laura said I’m pushing Sherry away for fear of getting too close to her. She thinks that I feel out of control with Sherry, that my emotions are threatened.”
“And is she right?”
Tess looked at her husband and reached out to touch his bare shoulder. He knew her so well. She knew he didn’t need to ask the question—knew that he already understood the answer. He might even understand the answer better than she could.
“I don’t want to hurt her, but neither do I want to be hurt. Oh, Brad, what am I supposed to do? I want the baby. I want to be a mother. Sherry seems to take pleasure in hurting me, in defying me. She seems to push me until I reach a limit, then she stands back just to watch me fall apart. I think it’s a game to her.”
“Maybe she’s testing you to see if you’ll go the distance with her,” Brad said softly.
“Maybe, but why? Why, when you’ve pushed yourself off on total strangers, do you then put them through the wringer as well? Why would you jeopardize your own well-being by threatening theirs?”
“Maybe she’s just tired of having no say over her life. She’s finally found a bit of leverage, and desperation causes her to use it.”
“I don’t know,” Tess said, her emotions running rampant. “Laura said I need to love her—to let Jesus love her through me, but, Brad, I just don’t know if I can do that. I don’t want to risk the pain.”
Brad reached out and pulled Tess into his arms. As she slid down in the bed and rested her head against his chest, she felt at least a bit of her peace return.
“Justin and I have been talking and praying about this situation. I know you don’t like Sherry, but—”
Tess pushed away. “That’s not true. It has nothing to do with like or dislike. Sherry defies me at every turn. She is the one doing the rejecting. She wants nothing to do with our ways or beliefs.”
“And why should she?” Brad asked. “She has no investment in us, short of giving us a child she never intended to have
in the first place. We’ve made it clear that she’ll be leaving once the baby is three months old. We even made it clear that we didn’t care for that provision to begin with. It’s obvious to her and to everyone else that Sherry is only here because that was her condition for us to be able to adopt her child.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t have agreed. Maybe we should have found another unwed mother.”
“It’s a little late for that now, don’t you think?”
Tess felt a kind of hopelessness sink over her. “I know, but maybe we could talk to Justin about the arrangements. Maybe we don’t have to let her stay here after the baby is born.”
“Break our word?” Brad questioned. “We signed an agreement.”
Tess nodded and let out a heavy sigh. “I know. I know.”
From the hallway, Sherry heard every word of Brad and Tess’s private discussion. They hated her. They hated her as much as everyone else did. Never in her entire life had she known anyone who cared about her and loved her just for being herself.
Sniffing back tears, Sherry hurried back to her room. The last thing she needed to do was break down in a loud display of emotion. She closed her bedroom door and contemplated what she should do. She rubbed her protruding stomach and felt the baby kick against her hand. This only made her tears come faster.
It hurt so bad to be alone—knowing that no one in the world cared about you. Sherry had lived this way for fourteen years. She felt tired and hopeless.
I’ll leave now
. The thought played in her mind for a moment.
If I take the money I’ve stashed, I could buy a bus ticket and
. . . No, that was no good. A pregnant teenager on a bus was certain to be remembered, and once she was listed as missing, it would be easy enough to trace where she’d gone.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Sherry tried to devise a plan. She had nobody. No friends. Nothing. Well, there was
Laura Johnson. She had said Sherry could call up anytime, but Laura was also Tess’s friend, and that would hardly serve her needs under the circumstances.
She liked Stacy Aznar, but Stacy’s father was working with Tess and that might cause the same kind of problems that going to Laura would cause. Reluctantly, Sherry faced the truth. There was no one to turn to.
“I have to do this myself.”
She dried her tears and hurried to pack her things. Tess had bought her a backpack for those times when they went to the beach, and now Sherry stuffed it as full as she could with her clothes. Next, she went to the dresser and pulled out several pairs of socks. One pair contained the money she’d been saving faithfully. Tess had been giving her twenty dollars a week and that, along with the money she’d managed to steal, gave her a grand total of two hundred and thirty dollars. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to start on.
She started for the door, then realized she was still wearing her pajamas. Hurrying to the closet, she threw off the gown and pulled on a pair of maternity shorts. She finished dressing and pulled on her sandals. Lately her feet had been swelling and the sandals were a bit tight, but she reasoned they would just have to do. She wasn’t about to spend more time finding her tennis shoes.
Finally ready to leave, Sherry tried not to think of the task at hand. She thought only of her freedom—of being on her own. She opened the door and listened carefully. Everything was quiet. She started to leave her room, but something on the table beside the bed caught her attention.
The Bible.
Mr. D had given it to her. It was the first and only time someone had gifted her with something without expecting something back. It wasn’t given out of obligation or state mandate, it was simply given because he told her the contents would change her life and make everything better.
Grabbing the Bible, Sherry forced it into the backpack with
her clothes. For some reason, it gave her comfort to know she’d at least have this small connection to God.
****
Tess sat down to breakfast as soon as Brad took off for work. He’d let her sleep late as a gesture of comfort and had even gone so far as to fix her pancakes.
Picking at the stack, Tess looked over her monthly bills and began sorting them into piles. She figured once Sherry got up they would hit the books, then see where the day led them.
What Tess really wanted was simply to talk with Sherry. She felt the need to try to explain some of her feelings, even if it meant having those feelings completely walked on by the teenager. Brad had convinced her that the answer wasn’t in sending Sherry away, but rather in trying to resolve the differences between them. Even so, Tess couldn’t help but wonder if some differences weren’t insurmountable. A sort of Mt. Everest in the middle of a winter blizzard.
When she glanced up at the wall clock, Tess was startled to see that it was already nine. Apparently Sherry had overslept again. Tess sighed. She had tried to keep the child on a regular school schedule starting at nine and ending at three, but Sherry was continually bucking at her suggestions of order.
Getting up, Tess feared she would have to face another battle of wills with Sherry. She knocked lightly on the guest room door, then opened it. “Sherry? It’s time to get up.”
Tess was instantly greeted with silence. The room showed no sign of the teen. The dresser drawers and closet doors were left open in a haphazard manner that suggested something Tess didn’t even want to consider. Going to the closet, Tess began a mental inventory and realized that many of Sherry’s things were missing. Checking the drawers confirmed her suspicions. Sherry was gone.
Feeling a panic rise up within her, Tess ran to the phone and punched in Brad’s number.
Oh, God
, Tess began to pray as the telephone rang,
where is she?
“Brad Holbrook speaking.”
“Brad, Sherry’s gone!” Tess exclaimed without introduction.
“What?” His tone of disbelief set Tess’s stunned emotions into motion.
Sobbing, Tess broke down. “I don’t know where she’s gone, but she’s taken her things. Clothes are missing and so is her backpack and her makeup.”
“Calm down, sweetheart. Are you sure she didn’t just go down to the pool or the beach?”
“I can’t see her hauling all that stuff with her to the beach,” Tess answered. “I’m telling you, she’s gone.”
“All right. If you’re certain, call Justin. He’ll know what route to take. I’ll be home as quick as I can get there.”
“Hurry, Brad,” Tess said. “Please hurry.”
She hung up the phone and dialed Justin’s office number. After speaking to his secretary and assuring her it was an emergency, Justin finally came on the line.
“Tess, what’s wrong? My secretary said you were having an emergency.”
“I am. Sherry has run away.”
“Are you sure?”
“Well, I think that’s what’s happened. A bunch of her clothes are gone and some of her other things. Justin, Brad told me to call you. I don’t know what else to do.”
“Well, you need to calm down, for one thing,” Justin replied. “You won’t find her by working yourself into a breakdown. Look, why don’t you try to think of some special place she might have gone. Sherry must have had places she liked better than others. Maybe she would go to one of those places for a little rest and quiet. Also, call downstairs and ask if any of the doormen saw her leave.”
“All right. I’ll do that,” Tess agreed.
“I’ll finish up here and get over to your place as soon as I can. If you find her in the meantime, just page me.”
“I will,” Tess replied, though she was doubtful she’d find Sherry anywhere nearby.
She had no sooner hung up the phone, however, when it began to ring. Anxious that maybe Sherry had decided to call and let her know where she was, Tess grabbed the telephone on the first ring.
“Hello?”
“Mrs. Holbrook?”
The voice wasn’t at all familiar. “Yes, this is Tess Holbrook.”
“Do you have a young pregnant teenager living with you? Goes by the name of Sherry Macomber?”
“Yes!” Tess declared excitedly. “Who is this? Where is she?”
“My name is Mrs. Riley. I’m with hospital patient relations at Aventura.”
Tess felt her knees grow weak. Sinking to a nearby chair, she barely managed to question the woman. “Hospital?”
“Yes. I’m sorry to tell you this, but Sherry was brought in early this morning. She was found near one of the marinas. She’s been badly beaten.”
“How’s the baby?” Tess questioned without thinking.
The woman paused for a moment. “Mrs. Holbrook, the baby appears to be just fine. Sherry, however, needs some attention. The police believe she was mugged. She gave your name and address and told us you were her legal guardian. I’m calling to let you know that we need you here.” Her clipped tone was no-nonsense.
Tess realized the woman was put out with her and she didn’t blame her. She was disgusted with herself for having seemed so indifferent to Sherry’s condition. It only proved Laura’s point more clearly, making it impossible for Tess to ignore the obvious. She didn’t care about Sherry like she should.
“Will Sherry be all right?” Tess finally asked.
“She’s still being evaluated. How soon can you come?”
“I’ll be right there.”
CHAPTER 21
Tess didn’t wait for Justin or Brad. In a mad dash, she raced to the hospital. Her mind and emotions were overcome with guilt and grief.
“Oh, God,” she prayed, “I’ve really made a mess of things.”
She thought of her heartless inquiry about the baby rather than asking about Sherry. What had happened to the compassionate human being that Tess used to be? What had happened to the kindness and love?
The old Tess would never have treated anyone as badly as I have that child
, she reasoned.
The old Tess knew how it was to be treated like that—to be rejected and held at arm’s length. So why did I act like that with Sherry?
The thoughts tormented her.
Traffic crept at an unbearably slow pace, giving Tess even more time for personal evaluation. She hated what she saw.
“Lord, I’ve been callous and mean-spirited,” she said. “I never meant to hurt Sherry. I never meant to get myself into this situation. Kim warned me. I should have listened, but I so selfishly wanted a baby. Now Sherry is injured, and who knows what will happen?”
Tess had never known a stronger conviction for her wrongdoing. What had started out as a simple plan to keep herself from further pain had unwittingly led her to more heartache.
This triggered thoughts of what must have happened to send Sherry packing. Yesterday had been a typical day, as far as Tess could remember. They had worked together on some new algebra techniques. Sherry had quickly picked up on the logic and reasoning and Tess had even commented on how smart she was.
Later, they had shared lunch on the balcony while Tess went over the geography lesson slated for the day. Nothing there to cause any real problems. Sherry had been tired and
rather irritable, and Tess had finally sent her to rest after they’d finished the lesson.
Tess reviewed the events one by one as if picking through a file cabinet, searching for a single document. There had to be some reason that Sherry chose last night to run away.
Then the answer came. Her talk with Brad. Sherry must have overheard her discussion. It was the only reasonable explanation. With a groan, Tess tried to recall her every word.
With each remembered phrase, however, Tess only felt worse. She had said things that would no doubt have cut Sherry to the bone. The words became a blur as Tess tried to battle her emotions.
How could I have been so cruel? She must have been terrified
.
Her cell phone rang, nearly causing Tess to jump out of her skin.
“Hello?”
“Tess, where are you? I tried to call the house, but you didn’t answer.”
“Oh, Brad, I’m sorry. I meant to call you the minute I got into the car. I’m heading over to Aventura Hospital. Sherry’s been found. She was beaten up and the hospital called to tell us.”