Touch the Stars (14 page)

He was silhouetted against the opalescent sky of sunrise, and his stance was majestic, magnificent. He seemed illumined with light from within. His hair blew gently in the slight breeze; he stood immobile. At the same time he managed to look both determined and transfixed by whatever drove him to walk the wire. He was beautiful.

Mesmerized, she watched as Stephen knelt on the cable, then, with exquisite grace, lay down so that one foot swung beneath it. He remained like that, totally at ease as he rested and contemplated the transformation of sky from gray to pink to blue.

If she moved forward now, he might see that she had been watching. Or was his concentration so deep that he still saw nothing? Julie felt as though she had caught Stephen in the middle of something very private.

After a time—Julie didn't know how long—Stephen rose from the wire as gracefully as he had stretched himself upon it. He stood, face to the sky, and then, slowly and surely, slid one foot forward, then the other. Every muscle was in control, every molecule of his being was concentrated on the cable.

Alone he dared the sky; alone he touched the stars. Clearly he savored his solitude. Stephen had spoken to her of the peace of giving himself to the wire completely and centering down until he felt at one with the air. Stephen's perfection and mastery of his art moved Julie quite unexpectedly. She let out a shaky breath as she realized that Stephen Andrassy didn't so much control the wire as he made it a part of himself. She couldn't deny, after watching Stephen, that of all the places in the universe, the wire was the right place for him.

She dared not let him see her. If he did, he would know that his performance had stirred her in a strange and wondrous way. And she didn't want him to know that she had finally and illogically admitted to herself that walking the wire was what Stephen was meant to do with his life. She could hardly believe that her thinking had changed so radically.

Carefully she stood and made her way back to the trees at the edge of the meadow. She'd go back to the house through the subdivision, the way she had come.

Her last view of Stephen before she rounded the bend in the path was of him crossing the wire, surefooted and erect, his arms joyfully stretched toward the rising sun.

* * *

At lunchtime, Julie arranged tuna sandwiches on a plate and shot Stephen a sidelong glance as he hurried through the kitchen with his cell phone pressed to his ear.

"Yes? Yes, I can see you today." There was a pent-up excitement in Stephen's tone, and she wondered who the caller was. She became even more curious when Stephen provided directions to the farm.

"I am expecting a guest this evening," Stephen announced as they sat down to lunch.

"Who?" asked Eva, not as unwilling to ask as Julie was.

"Oh, a man from Atlanta. Please pass the carrot sticks, will you, Sam?"

Nothing more was said about the impending visit until a man wearing sunglasses and a business suit drove up in a car with a rental sticker on the windshield. Stephen hurried out to meet him, and the two of them closeted themselves in the room that served as Stephen's bedroom and office. It was two hours before they came out.

Julie, who was sitting on the front porch sharing conversation and a peach with Paul, noticed that Stephen seemed aquiver with excitement as he walked his guest to his car. There was only one thing that could engender such enthusiasm in Stephen—something to do with walking the wire.

"What was that all about?" Paul asked, tossing the peach pit over the porch railing as Stephen mounted the steps.

"It is—" Stephen stopped when he saw the expression of dread on Julie's face. It was as though she had guessed, as though she knew. But he had only made his final decision minutes ago. He cleared his throat. He would have to handle this carefully, for Julie's sake.

"Come inside," he said. "I have an announcement to make."

Silently Julie and Paul followed him into the house. The family gathered around in the living room. Claire switched on a lamp.

"It is settled," Stephen said. "And you shall all be the first to know. In order to get publicity for the return of the Amazing Andrassys to the high wire, I have just signed a contract to appear on the television show
Dare!"

"You, Stephen? You alone?"

"Yes. Me alone."

"I watch it all the time. They feature live daredevil acts, like the guy who jumps a bunch of school buses on his motorcycle," Eric said.

"The Amazing Andrassys aren't exactly daredevils. We're performers!" Michael sounded puzzled and also annoyed.

"We are performers, yes. But we can also be daredevils at times, depending on where we perform."

"And where will that be?" Julie whispered, fear stabbing into her heart. She thought she knew.

"I," he said slowly and with a sense of drama, "I am going to walk a cable across the Tallulah Gorge."

It was completely quiet. Then the room erupted with questions, with astonished exclamations. Everyone crowded around Stephen, talking all at once. Julie stumbled blindly toward the front door. No one would miss her now; no one would see her leave.

No one, that is, except Stephen himself. His gaze followed her as she slowly let herself out.

Julie got into her car and drove to keep herself from thinking of the wild and awesome Tallulah Gorge and of Stephen suspended above it.

Her car swallowed up the miles to town until she approached the stoplight in Peaceable Kingdom. She slowed down, intending to drive on. But as she sat at the red light, she realized that beyond the town lay only a dark and lonely road. If she didn't do something to distract herself, she'd focus on Stephen crossing the Gorge, and she didn't want to do that. Abruptly she turned the corner and swung her car into a diagonal parking place not far from the Peaceable Kingdom Cinema.

It was a Friday night, and the locals had turned out in force to cruise the town. Cars circled the courthouse square, then peeled off at the stoplight. Kids leaned out of car windows, yelling to their friends gathering under the trees where old codgers played checkers during the day. A carnival atmosphere prevailed, and that was all to the good for Julie's purposes.

Without really thinking about it, she found herself standing in line waiting to buy a ticket to the movie. There were twin theaters inside, but she and Eva had already seen the science fiction feature playing in Cinema 1. Okay, so she'd go to Cinema 2. It didn't matter as long as there was something to fill her field of vision, anything other than the mental picture of Stephen crossing Tallulah Gorge.

* * *

Stephen saw Julie standing in line in front of the Cinema and, surprised, braked the car he had borrowed from Paul. He was glad to find her in so ordinary a place. He'd had no idea where she'd intended to go.

She was feeling this—he could tell. He joined her in line as though he was supposed to have been there all the time. The people behind her glared at him for breaking in. He hoped they'd think he'd been parking their car, that he was Julie's date—or husband.

"Which movie are you going to see?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Not the science fiction film. The other one."

He paid for the tickets and she stood aside, unprotesting.

Inside, an overzealous teenager wearing a white paper cap stood behind the popcorn machine, keeping up a steady chatter as the moviegoers entered the theater.

"Fresh-made popcorn, get it right here. Sure, here's a jumbo-size box. Have a cold drink to go with it? Step to the right, the girl at the end of the counter will help you. Lots of fresh, buttered popcorn! How about it, sir? Popcorn for you?"

Stephen was startled when he realized that the boy was talking to him.

"Er, yes," he said, inserting his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out change. The boy handed him a red-and-white striped box.

"And how about some for your lady?" he said.

"My la—? Oh, of course. Juliana? Would you care for popcorn?"

Julie shook her head. Without thinking Stephen curved his free arm around her shoulders. It seemed like the natural thing to do, but he was chastened when Julie shook his arm off and strode ahead of him into the darkened theater.

She found a seat midway down the aisle. He sat beside her. She kept her eyes steadfastly fastened on the screen as movie credits skated past.

They put their elbows on their shared armrest at exactly the same time. For a moment, their arms jostled for the space. She felt the slight stiffening of his muscles. Then Stephen removed his arm. So did she. The armrest seemed to grow between them, a visible barrier.

Julie felt herself shrink as though to inhabit less space and to breathe less air. If she could have, she would have disappeared altogether rather than sit here beside Stephen, unable to let herself acknowledge that they were together while they were feeling so very far apart. She felt conscious of every move he made, whether it was to dig in the popcorn box or push his seat into a more comfortable position. She was aware of the pores on the back of his hand and his handsome profile against the light illuminating the aisle. She knew when he moved his foot and when he flicked a kernel off his knee. Oh, she was aware of him all right, and she was miserable about it.

The movie had no discernible plot as far as Julie could tell, and the only character with any continuity seemed to be a souped-up red Camaro. But the movie served its purpose. The chase scenes and loud twangy music distracted her from things she didn't want to think about.

Stephen sat beside her, frowning slightly and seemingly concentrating on the film. Julie stole an occasional glance at him, almost as one would steal a look at something forbidden. When this thought occurred to her, she nearly laughed, despite the sadness in her heart. Something forbidden. Well, he was that, all right—forever forbidden to her because of what he did for a living.

She wished fervently that the movie had been a tearjerker because that would have given her an excuse to cry.

* * *

Stephen followed her out of the movie theater. "Juliana, please don't go. Not yet."

She shot him a look over her shoulder and continued walking. He caught up with her and grabbed her arm. A policeman cruising past in a patrol car slowed down, hanging an arm out the car window and watching to see what happened next.

"Lady, is the man bothering you?"

Julie started. "No, officer, everything is fine."

Shaken, Stephen removed his hand from Julie's arm, and when the policeman saw that everything was apparently all right, he speeded up and disappeared on the other side of the courthouse. Stephen cringed inside. To think that anyone would think he would hurt Julie!

But the exchange with the policeman had apparently amused her. She visibly loosened up, and her face stopped looking so pinched and drawn.

Stephen kept his voice low so that passersby wouldn't hear. "Juliana, I want to tell you about the Tallulah Gorge," he began.

"I know about it. You took me there, remember?

"Of course. It was one of the most pleasant days I have ever had."

In fleeing the theater, Julie had, in her disorientation, turned the wrong way. She stopped walking. "My car's back there," she said. She wheeled and began to walk in the other direction. He pivoted accordingly and kept up with her rapid pace.

"You took me to Tallulah Gorge so you could check it out for your walk, didn't you? Didn't you?" Her dark eyes glittered accusingly.

"That was one reason," he admitted. "The other was to spend time with you."

"Why,
Stephen? Why must you walk the Gorge?"

"It is a challenge to my experience and my art. And it is valuable publicity for the act, Juliana, with
Dare!
absorbing the costs. When people know that Stephen Andrassy walked the Tallulah Gorge, they will be eager to pay money to see the Amazing Andrassys on the high wire again."

"Is that all you ever think about?" Julie exploded. "The
act?"

Stephen waited until a rowdy group of young people passed, laughing and talking on their way to the local pizzeria for a snack after the movie.

"No, Juliana. It is not all I think about. I think about you quite often. About the way you feel about us going on the high wire. And other things. You are my friend. Or at least I thought you were."

Julie felt deflated. "I am," she said heavily.

"Even though I walk the high wire?"

"In spite of it," she whispered.

"I tell you, Juliana, I need your friendship and support for what I am about to do. Negative thoughts I do not need. They are dangerous. They infect everyone and everything they come into contact with. Do not persist in thinking negative thoughts. Please."

They had reached her car now. Julie raised her eyes to his. He was right. If she cared at all about him, she wouldn't put additional handicaps in his path. The task he had set for himself was difficult enough as it was.

"Can we get a pizza?" he said. "I have missed talking with you lately, Juliana."

It was the way he said her name, so unlike the way anyone else ever pronounced it, that won her over.

"All right," she said. She turned and walked ahead of him into the restaurant where they found a booth for two.