Torn (The Handfasting) (6 page)

At
least he stopped, though he would only look at her over his shoulder. "You
could have told them we were one, Maggie. You could have worn my plaid, a
kertch upon your head."

"Oh
aye, wouldn't that have been grand. Announce to the whole world what we'd been
about. Nothing to be shy about there, is there?  Especially doing so on my own,
with the risk you might not be coming back!"

Finally,
he turned. "I came back to find my wife had deserted me."  Anger. She
could use his anger, better than his defeat.

"I
came home to see my clan."

"So,
to your mind, you're still a MacBede?  Is that how you can hate a poor
defensive babe that's not even born?"

"Don't
be picturing thoughts in my head that aren't there."

He
looked toward the horizon, distorted now by the gloom of dusk. Maggie watched
him, the way the wind teased at his hair, the strong angles of his face. His
throat worked, as though to swallow unwanted tears, and suddenly Maggie knew
how deeply she had hurt him.

"I
want this child, Bold."

He
flashed a glance, but it was gone as quick as it flickered toward her. "Then
it's just me you don’t want."  It was not a question.

"Don't
want you?" She raised her hands in argument, then slapped them down in
anger. He never, ever listened to her. She moved over, to stand in the path of
his vision. "You want to know how much I don't want you?"

She
was planted in front of him and he still refused to meet her eyes. "Is it
because of Seonaid's lad?  It's not mine, you know. I don't care what games she
plays, it isn't mine. She never even says it is, just let’s people think
so."

Maggie
brushed that aside. "I never knew she had a child. But I do know, if you
tell me Seonaid has nothing to do with us, then she has nothing to do with us. I
trust your word over her."

"You
do?"

"Aye.
You may be a fool in thinking you know what's best for me. But I don't doubt
your honesty."

He
mulled that over. "So what do you think is best for you?"

Her
first victory with the man. "It's best for me to tell you how much I don't
want you." His eyes twitched but he stood firm. She couldn't help but
smile.

Life
as he knew it was over. Dead and buried and so she let him know.  "I wed
thee, Talorc the Bold, with no 'wills' about it. Forever more this
means."  The impact of her own words, hit her. She had not expected that. Tears
came to her eyes. "That's how much I don't want you." She sniffed
back a sob, horrified.

Talorc
stood stricken, his jaw dropped, eyes wide, but she couldn't stop. "Care
or not, Bold, I'm bound to you now, for as long as we both shall live."

"Wait."

"It's
too late."  She hung her head, realizing that she had pushed him too far
this last time. He no longer wanted her, but her impetuous self trapped them
both. "What's been said has been said and can't be taken back. You've been
storming over my wants long enough, it is my turn to sweep over yours." 
She lifted her chin. She would not be sorry. She would not be humiliated. "You
started this. I have a right to finish it."

He
grabbed her by the shoulders, his jaw clenched so tight he hissed. "Just
wait."  Then he shouted over his shoulder. "William, Bruce, get a
MacBede and come, and be quick about it."

"No."
Maggie tried to jerk free, but he held fast. "You'll not be sending me
away from you. Just try it, and you'll find me returning before you can
blink."

She
half expected him to lift her up and carry her to the keep, he was that
impatient. "What changed your mind, Maggie?  Just inside you were
screaming like the devil was on your heels and now, now you're changing to
sweet songs?  What changed you?"

A
sharp jerk of her shoulders and she pulled free, turned away, rather than face
her shame. Breath quick and shallow she asked, "Could you not see, could
you not tell how hungry I was for the sight of you?"

His
hands gripped her shoulders. "You fled from me."  She tried to twist
free but he wouldn't let her go. "Tell me why, Maggie. Why did you run
screaming as if hell was at your heel?"

Och,
but she hated the tears, swiped at them. "Why can't you let me go, let me
have a cry in peace?  Why does everything have to be said in front of a crowd? 
Why do you tell all of them, before you even tell me?"  He held her arms,
so she couldn't even brush the salty wet of her cheeks. Turned her, as he
pulled her against him, raised a knuckle and brushed at her tears. She mumbled
against his chest.

"First
it's the wooing, the handfasting, then it's what we did in the barn . . ."
she couldn't talk over the embarrassment of that, it choked her.

"It
was beautiful, Maggie."

She
hiccupped. "Just like two dogs in the yard."

"No,"
he rocked them back and forth, "No, like a man and woman bonded in the
flesh."

But
she wasn't finished with his injustices. "The babe, Talorc?  How could you
tell everyone I was with child before I even knew?"  She pushed far enough
away to look up into his eyes. "You think that's not wrong?" She
pounded at his chest, her face scrunched up with the crying. "Why do you
always have to see me weak and foolish when what you need is a woman who's
strong and inspired?"

He
cupped her face in his great powerful hands and stilled her. "What I need
is you, no one else, just you."  He pulled her close again, held her so
tight she could barely breathe. She told him so. He loosened his hold, looked
down at her, his eyes no longer bleak with despair, but hard and serious.

She
had to ask, to understand, "You didn't want my words of wedding you. You
told me to stop."

"I
told you to wait."

"It's
too late for that. The words were said."

"Why,
Maggie? Are you saying you want me or is it for the babe?"

She
should give up on him. Should leave him to his misery if he couldn't tell what
she was feeling. But she couldn't do that. His hold was too strong. She
admitted as much.  "I wanted you before I even knew about the child."

"You
left."

"To
see my family once more, because I knew, after this, my home would be at Glen
Toric."

His
eyes held her, though he did not say a word.

“Talorc,
do you not ken what I am saying?”  she asked.

Finally,
he spoke, though it only proved how thick he was.  "Do I have your
heart?"

"Och,
you great oaf!  You've had my heart forever."

He
smiled. She slapped at him, with as little consequence as the brush of a horses
tail. He laughed. "You hid it well."

"Oh
aye," she retorted, "like when we were in the barn. I hid it verrrry
well!"  Brazen was the only word for it. She ducked her head, to hide her
own awkwardness.

"Och
Maggie."  This time, when he pulled her close, it was a tender hold. "I
thought you didn't want me. I love you so much, and I thought you didn't want
me."

"You
promised you wouldn't leave, you promised me forever. I'm holding you at your
word."

Shouts,
the thunder of running feet, came from below.

"Bold!" 

"Maggie!"

“Don’t
you hurt her now!”  

Maggie
peaked around Talorc's broad chest to see William and Bruce hurrying up the
hillside, Maggie's family and clan in tow.

She
sniffled, shoved at him. "Let me go."

"I
don't think so."

"People
are coming and my eyes are all red."

"You
look beautiful."

"Talorc,
when are you going to learn, I mean what I say?"

His
smile was wide as he shook his head. She butted him, her forehead to his chin. Not
as effective as the bridge of his nose, but enough that he released her. She
tried to scramble away, he caught her, lifted her up over his shoulder.

"I'll
never forgive you for this, Bold. Do you hear me?  I'll never forgive . .
."

"What
is it Bold?"  William was there first, with her brother, Feargus the
younger, both out of breath with the rush. The others weren't far behind.

"Tell
them what you said, Maggie, admit it before witnesses."

She
closed her eyes, and swallowed. "Can you keep nothing between the two of
us?"

"Not
this."  He let her slide off his shoulder and down his body. When she
stood he took her right hand in his right hand. Her left in his left.

In
this, he was right. Witnesses gave it strength. If only he would prepare her
for what he meant to accomplish.

"You
move too fast for me, Bold."

"You'd
outdistance me if I didn't."

"Oh,
Maggie," Fiona gasped. Maggie could hear the tremor of her mother's words
but it was no time for mothers and daughters. It was the time for a woman with
her man.

She
looked down at the clasp of her hands to Talorc's. Her nose twitched with an
itch so she lifted their joined fists to rub it. Talorc tugged them down. She
looked at him, at the great huge warrior who stood before her and took a deep
breath. "I wed thee, Talorc the Bold, the bane of my life, for as long as
we both shall live."

To
him alone, the words had been a simple gesture. With all her people around, the
significance closed her throat to any more words.

Her
life would never be the same, was set on a different course than she would have
chosen. A course she was proving to hold to just as stubbornly as the one she
had dreamt of.

Talorc
squeezed her hands. "And I Talorc MacKay wed thee, Maggie MacBede, delight
of my life, for as long as we both shall live."

Everyone
cheered as Maggie glared at her husband. He laughed, grabbed her into another
bear hug. "I know you wanted it just between the two of us Maggie, but I
wanted witnesses. I want the world to know."

"Maggie,"
Feargus broke in, as quiet as a man could be with a voice more used to
bellowing. "Why did you scream like that when you learned of the
babe?"

She
burrowed closer into Talorc's hold. If he wanted to take charge, she would let
him.

"Ah
Feargus, a woman's a delicate thing."

"That
yell wasna' delicate."  Bruce had the gall to murmur.

"Bruce,"
Talorc admonished, "Give her a care. One minute her family thinks she's an
innocent maiden. Next, they don't know for sure she's married but they do know
she's with child. And they know this before she even has a clue to why she's
feeling like she's feeling."

She
shoved far enough away to stay in the comfort of his arms, but still able to
look at him. "I should know before you."

"You
will next time."  He leaned down, hooked her behind her knees and lifted
her up. "But for now, you've had too much excitement. I'm thinking you
need to lie down."

"She's
been in bed all day," Jamie complained.

"Aye,
well, I'll just have to stay with her, and make certain she's not
failing."  Talorc announced, to ribald cheers as he headed for the keep.

"You
forgot a vow!"  Someone shouted.

She
felt him pivot, and then drop her legs, so her body lowered against his.

"Aye,
we forgot a vow."  He took her hands again, and as soon as everyone was
near he told her, "With my body, I thee worship."

She
ducked, to hide the blush that crept up her neck, to her face.

"Maggie,
have you nothing to say to me?"

She
looked up at him, through her lashes. Stood on her tip toes and put her mouth
to his ear. "With my body I thee worship."

He
laughed, a great bellowing thing, and lifted her back in his arms. "Well
then, you best come prove it."  The crowd roared their approval.

"You
have no spine for secrets, Bold."  Bold merely chuckled. "That's how
I know, if Seonaid has a son, it's not yours."

He
stopped, to look at her. "They were at Glen Toric when I arrived."

"She's
never there, if you're not."

She
watched him, but could make no sense of his frown. When he did speak, it was as
if pulled from deeper thoughts. "The child is not mine. I never had her,
never once."

"But
she wants people to think it is."

She
felt the jar of his breath, as if he needed extra air to bolster his words. "I
don't know what she's about. We were close, friends mind you, no more, everyone
thinks it has to be mine."

"But
it isn’t."

"No."

"And
as Laird, it would be your responsibility to see that the man come forward, to
own up to his own kin."

"True."

"And
as you don't, it makes you more suspect."

He
grunted.

"You
know who it is."  It wasn’t a question.