Torn (20 page)

I slammed the table in frustration, but then quickly reeled my fury back in. “So, you’re saying it’s my fault then?”

“No, of course not, sweetheart. I’m just saying maybe you should take a look at what part you may have had to play in the way things turned out.” Sensing I was about to yell again, she cut me off before a single word left my mouth. “I don’t condone what she did to you, Eli. Not one bit,” she reminded me. “Just think about what I said.”

Silence stretched between us as we sat across from each other. My mother’s love and understanding wrapped around me, calming me enough to continue our discussion.

“When was the last time you saw her, sweetheart?”

Dropping my head, I answered, “Two weeks ago, when I demanded she leave my house.” I’d refused to lay eyes on her until I could control my rage enough not to fly off the handle again. Talking to her on the phone was another issue, but I had to do it in order to get in touch with Holden. But any conversation we had was curt and brief. She’d tried several times to apologize again, but my response was always cold silence. A few times, I thought she had been crying, the rasp in her voice indicating she was struggling with our situation, as well. Even though I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms and soothe her, I couldn’t bring myself to move past her deception. Not yet.

Reaching across the table to take my hand in hers, my mom’s next words threw my world into a tailspin, grasping at anything to hold on to from being sucked into the abyss of disbelief.

“Well, you better prepare yourself, Eli. Because both Kalista and Holden are coming to our family dinner tomorrow. And before you even try getting out of it, you’re going to be there, as well. In fact, you’re going to pick them up and ride over here together. Like the family you are.”

Astonishment knocked me from side to side before I could see straight again, let alone voice my objection.

Standing up so fast, I kicked the chair behind me with enough force it skidded across the kitchen tile. “There is no way in hell she’s coming here…around our entire family!” I exclaimed profusely. “It’s not happening. I’ll bring Holden, something I should have done weeks ago, but she is not stepping foot in this house. She’s not coming near me until I decide it’s time.” My heart pounded so fast I was positive my blood pressure rose to an unhealthy level.

Walking around the table, my mother came to stand in front of me, placing her hands lovingly on my stubbled cheeks. “Honey, look at me,” she demanded, my eyes roving everywhere else. I knew as soon as I made eye contact she was going to work her mother voodoo and make me concede. “Eli,” she said more sternly. I finally locked eyes on her, the pulse in my throat beating rapidly. “I know you’re all messed up inside that handsome head of yours, but trust me,” she soothed. “Everything will work out as it should.” Lowering her right hand, she placed it over my heart. “You need to let this heal, sweetheart.”

“I don’t know if I can, Mom. I’ve tried to over the years…but I’m stuck.” I was mentally drained. It’d been a hell of a two weeks, and I was surprised I was still functional.

“But you have answers now, honey. Answers you’ve been waiting for quite some time to hear.” I tried to interject, but she shut me down with an arch of her beautifully manicured brow. “It may not have been the answer you wanted to hear, but it was an answer nonetheless. She was young, Eli. And young people often do things they later regret, their way of thinking completely different to the older versions of themselves.” She threw me a sympathetic look, patting my arm before taking a step back. “Just give her a chance. For Holden’s sake.” And there’s the clincher.

Leaning forward, I placed a kiss on her cheek before distancing myself. I needed to leave, to go home and sort out my overactive brain, and apparently prepare for dinner the following evening.

Lord, give me strength.

ELI

A
s I rapped on Kalista’s front door, I contemplated canceling the entire evening, but I knew my mother would kill me, and more than anything I didn’t want to disappoint her. She’d done so much for me over the years
. I
always tried my best to make her proud, and chickening out of family dinner simply because I was still conflicted about Kalista wouldn’t be right. I was so messed up I didn’t know which emotion to latch on to and ride out. Realizing I was going to lay eyes on her in mere seconds had my heart twisted up, but at the same time my brain was yelling at me to keep my distance, to dispel whatever hold she had over me. It was impossible for a sane man to love
and
hate one woman simultaneously. Therefore, I knew insanity pressed the edges of my stability, threatening to throw me over the edge before I decided which emotion to claim.

The one thing I did know for sure was that I was still very angry with her, and because of it, I hadn’t seen her in two weeks.

Two weeks of utter confusion.

Two weeks of trying to figure out if she’d really told me the truth when I’d confronted her and demanded answers.

Two weeks too long.

Holden flung open the door, a huge smile on his face as he quickly looked me up and down. He was forever assessing people even though he did it in the subtlest of ways, his manners and charm overriding the interrogative action.

“Hey, buddy,” I chimed, ruffling his hair as I walked past him.

“Hi, Dad,” he said, closing the door behind us. He’d asked me a week after he found out I was his father if he could call me Dad, and I confessed nothing would make me happier. I thought the muscles in his young face were going to burst he smiled so big.

“Is your mom almost ready?” I asked, circling the kitchen island to grab a drink from the fridge.

“I’ll go check,” he called over his shoulder as he raced up the staircase.

Not two minutes later, he ran back into the kitchen, skidding to a halt before running into me. “Someone’s excited, I see.” I laughed, pulling him into a quick hug.

“Yeah, I am. I get to meet my cousins, my aunts and uncles and my new grandma.” His outburst caused him to dip his head in sudden shyness, a trait which didn’t fit him in the least. “Do you think they’ll like me?” he whispered, his body language telling me he was worried about the upcoming introductions.

I lifted his chin. I needed him to see the sincerity in my eyes while I abated his sudden fears. “Are you kidding me? They’re going to be fighting over who is going to spend more time with you. You’ll beg me to leave, you’ll be getting so much damn attention.” My words seemed to hit the intended mark. He relaxed, smiled once more and raced toward the door.

“I’ll wait outside for you guys!” he shouted, disappearing before I could stop him.

As I prepared to try and locate Kalista, she walked into the room, her eyes immediately connecting with mine before I could look away. Every time she was near, the air bristled with an electric current, and it took everything in me to ignore it as it threatened to zap any restraint I’d been holding onto.

A simple but beautiful black dress hugged her in all the right places, accentuating her curves to a point I’d almost crossed the line and made a move I would have surely regretted. Her rich, dark hair was styled in large waves splayed down her back, tempting me to capture the strands and twist them around my fingers. As she walked toward me, I instantly focused on her toned, tanned legs which seemed to go on for miles. She was wearing a pair of red heels, putting her at the perfect height so I could look deep into her eyes if I wanted to without leaning down too far.

She was utterly dangerous in every way possible.

Pure and simple…she was a knockout. Surely, she was going to pull my focus all night, my anger residing a notch as I imagined all the things I would do to her if given the opportunity. Very slowly. Once my eyes reached her face again, she blushed, biting her lip in nervousness.

“You look nice,” I said curtly, trying my absolute best not to babble on about how gorgeous she looked and how much I wanted to rip her dress off her body. Yeah, that wouldn’t be the best thing to say, especially when I was trying to appear indifferent, anger still niggling away at the edges of my heart.

“Thank you,” she replied. “So do you.”

I was still dressed in my work suit. I didn’t have time to go home and change because my afternoon meeting ran later than I’d hoped. Nodding in acknowledgment, I walked in front of her out of the house, allowing her to lock up before we set off to my mother’s for dinner.

The only chatter during the entire ride was between me and my son. “I got an A on my science test today, Dad,” he exclaimed, bopping his head to the song on the radio.
This kid is too much.
He was so full of life; it almost had me seeing red again that she’d kept him from me. I’d missed so much. But I didn’t want to ruin the evening, so I bit my tongue and gave him the congratulations he deserved.

“That’s awesome, Holden. I’m very proud of you,” I declared, catching his eye in the rearview mirror. I winked and his response was to beam proudly back at me.

“So, how far is it to your mom’s house…I mean Grandma’s house?” Before I could answer, he fired more questions at me. “Wait…is that what I call her? Grandma? Or should I call her Nana? Or something else?”

I laughed. “You can call her whatever you want. But all the other kids call her Grandma.”

“Okay,” he mumbled, focusing back on the next song which popped up next.

Fifteen minutes later and we were heading up the driveway, to a night which would definitely prove to be quite the event. I was sure my mom told my entire family we were coming. Drayden was aware of the situation with Kalista and Holden because I’d barged in on him when I needed someone to talk to. Then I’d spoken to both Dex and Cal a few days later, telling them all about my instant family. They were extremely supportive and excited to meet their new nephew.

But seeing Kalista again? Not so much. I was sure my mother told them to be on their best behavior, but I had no doubt any one of my brothers would tell her exactly what they thought of what she did to me, if ever they found the opportunity to be alone with her. Hell, they would probably do it right in front of me, figuring I would chime in and band together with them against her. And they would be half right.

The front door opened wide before I even had an opportunity to turn the handle. On the threshold stood my mother, beaming from ear to ear once she laid eyes on her newest guests. Giving me a quick hug and kiss, she ushered me into the foyer, turning her attentions on the woman who shattered my world years before, and her newest grandchild.

Pulling Kalista into an awkward but loving hug, she kissed her cheek and declared, “Finally. You’ve come back home where you belong.” I knew my mother was upset with her, but she didn’t show it. It wasn’t the time or place, but I was sure she would give her a stern talking to when the opportunity arose. The two women had always gotten along very well in the past, but Kalista’s abrupt departure obviously strained their relationship.

“And this handsome young man must be Holden,” she gushed, stepping closer to get a better look.

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered.
So much for calling her Grandma.
His wide eyes took her in, instant love pouring forth while he gazed adoringly at her. My son knew he was loved unconditionally the moment my mother, his grandmother, pulled him into her arms.

“You call me Grandma, honey. Okay?”

“Yes…Grandma,” he beamed. She kissed the top of his head before directing us further into her house. Once all of the pleasantries were out of the way, I took notice of the delicious aroma wafting through the rooms.

“Damn, Mom, that smells good.”

“I know.” She laughed, walking past the three of us toward the kitchen.

We were the first to arrive. I planned it that way on purpose. I figured it would be easier on Holden and Kalista if we weren’t bombarded with my entire family. Holden wasn’t shy but meeting an entire brood of Warners was intimidating for the best of them, let alone a thirteen-year-old boy. Then there was Kalista. I shouldn’t care about her being uncomfortable, but I was. To a certain degree. Holden was very protective of his mom, and if she was out of sorts, he would be, as well. And I wanted him to enjoy the evening.

“Can I help you with anything, Mrs. Warner?” Kalista asked, doing her best to be a gracious guest.

“You can call me Vivian, Kalista. No need for formalities. It’s not like we’ve just met for the first time. I’ve known you since you were Holden’s age, for goodness sake.” My mother smiled, but there was a seriousness laced in her tone which almost went undetected. “Just because you’ve been gone for years doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten all about you…as you have us.”

And there it is.
My mother’s one and only comment about her abandonment.

My mother held her smile so Holden never caught on she was giving his mother a dig. Kalista lowered her head and took a seat at the kitchen table, fiddling with her hands as she waited for someone else to say something to her. The look on her face told me she knew it was coming, and the tensing of her muscles told me she was going to take it.