Too Much to Bear (BBW Shifter Ménage)

Too Much to Bear
Jackie
Sexton
 
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Rights Reserved ©201
4
Jackie Sexton. First Printing: 201
4
.
 
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rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or
transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of
the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews
and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
 
Too Much to Bear
Jackie Sexton
 
Chapter One
 

Madison Bates closed her eyes before stepping out onto the
familiar driveway. She had seen it so many times as a child, with wide eyes and
a smile plastered across her chubby, rosy face.

But now she was older, and though her face was similarly
round and she had the same propensity to flush as red as a tomato, her big blue
eyes were no longer filled with the hope of a childhood summer. Papa Seth
wasn’t going to be there, waiting in his big stuffed chair by the fire, and
Nana Grace wouldn’t have homemade fudge waiting for her in the kitchen, her frilly
plaid apron tied around her wide waist.

Madison opened her eyes and took in the sight of the old
cabin, pulling in a deep breath and reminding herself why she was really here.

She had accepted the death of her grandfather, just as she
had accepted the death of her grandmother five years earlier. What she hadn’t
accepted was that she felt like she had wasted her life.

On Dustin, on Pickford, on bartending at The Winder.

But that’s why I’m here
, she reminded herself as she
shut off the ignition and stepped out onto the driveway. This was her fresh
start—a little cabin tucked away in a small mountain town out in the
heart of Montana.

Madison walked up the dirt driveway, taking in the fresh
mountain air and the sight of the lovely lodge poles as their branches rippled
in the wind, waving their deep green leaves in a friendly salute and calming
her heavy heart.

This is my fresh start
, she reminded herself, turning
around to take in the sight below her. Titusville was a sorry excuse for a
town, but what it lacked in civilization it made up with its natural beauty.
The sparse cluster of buildings sat comfortably between trees and dirt roads,
along the winding stream that led to a beautiful lake to the east. And to the
west, a winding mountain road led to a state park entrance several miles up
ahead. A steep drop right beside it gave Madison and every inhabitant of the
small town a glorious view of a long stretch of mountains reaching for the sky.

Madison reached for the key in her purse and fiddled with
it, opening the door to find her grandparent’s old cabin exactly as she had
remembered, with a strong smell of pine and tobacco permeating every inch of
it.

After Nana Grace died, Madison and her mother took Papa Seth
down to live with them, donating any extra clutter and sending other more
sentimental objects back home to be locked up in the attic. What remained were
the furniture and a few taxidermy heads up on the wall, from her Papa’s younger
hunting days.

She stepped into the living room and dropped her two bags by
the quaint mauve couch, running her finger along the wooden side table and
grimacing at the dust. She knew she’d have a lot of cleaning to do.

But before she could even get her supplies to start dusting,
she heard a hard knock at the door. Grumbling to herself, she realized for the
first time that her little reprieve to the mountains wouldn’t be as quiet as
she had hoped—of course this small town wouldn’t be too much different
than the one she had tried to escape. It was still filled with gossipy busy
bodies that needed to know every last detail about Seth Brown’s granddaughter
and her mysterious return to Titusville.

She pulled her dirty blonde hair into a ponytail, hoping to
make herself look half decent, and she opened the door with a false smile plastered
across her face. But to her surprise, it wasn’t some elderly woman with a
basket of fruit from her backyard. She had to catch her breath at the sight
that greeted her instead: a dark-haired hunk with dazzling hazel eyes, flecked
with a deep, basil green. If it weren’t for his exquisitely masculine face, she
would have never survived the depth of his magnetic gaze; he had a strong,
aquiline nose and a perfect jaw that looked like it was sculpted from granite.
Even the etch of his wry grin, made up of a pair of lips that were surprisingly
full, nearly caused Madison to faint.

But she was quick to notice the khaki shirt and olive green
trousers over an impressively built figure, and she knew immediately that the
county police was somehow already on her ass.

 “Can I help you, officer?” she said sweetly, folding
her arms over her chest so that he didn’t already assume he had the upper hand,
even though her heart was pounding wildly in her chest. She hadn’t done
anything wrong, but she always felt on the defensive ever since she took up
bartending when she was eighteen.

“Perhaps you can, ma’am,” the police officer said, taking a
step forward so that he was a little too close for comfort. She got a whiff of
an intoxicating, musky smell, mixed with a rich coffee aroma.

“Don’t mean to cause any alarm,” he said, a devilish smile
crossing his lips that made him look like pure trouble. Madison forced a lump
down her throat, urging herself not to be taken by the tall, dark stranger.

“I just came by to see if you were Mr. Brown’s
granddaughter,” he said, “but from the looks of it I can see that you just
couldn’t be her. Did you buy this place then?”

“I’m his granddaughter,” she said, trying to place his face.
But he must have been a new officer—he looked to be about her age, and
the town sheriff she remembered was older. Not quite as old as her Papa, but
certainly old enough to retire.

“You’re little
Maddie
?” the smirk
on his face grew. “Well, I’ll be. You grew up to be a looker.”

Madison blushed and cursed herself internally as she felt
the hot crimson spiral out across her chest and cheeks.

“Thank you...um, who are you?” she said, trying to place his
face.

“I’m Caleb Fowler. Don’t you remember me? We used to play
down by the lake with Will
Hunterson
when we were
kids.”

Suddenly Madison remembered that wicked grin. Her eyes went
wide as she took in Caleb Fowler twenty years later, with a broad chest and
gleaming white teeth, where before there had been a wide gap and a scraggly,
adolescent frame.

He was her merciless teaser, while Will had constantly
protected her from Caleb’s slingshot and cruel words.

“Oh my God…”

“People don’t take kindly to using the Lord’s name in vain
around these parts,” he said, leaning his strong arm against her doorframe. The
short sleeve of his shirt revealed a flexing bicep, bulging through
surprisingly tan skin. Madison could feel her heart fluttering pathetically in
her chest; he was so close to her that she feared he might hear her heart
beating.

She took a small step back, clearing her throat and creating
some space between them. “Well, I hardly recognized you either. Since when did
you become um, the town’s sheriff? Last I remember it was that nice old man…”

“Officer Fowler,” he said with a slight nod, “that was my
father. Passed two years ago.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Madison said, feeling stupid and awkward
for having brought it up. Of course
now
she remembered that it was
Caleb’s father.

“Not like you killed him,” he said, his voice still light,
almost teasing her. “He lived a good life. A lot of dangers round these parts
though. A mountain lion got him. So make sure you don’t go wandering around
these parts alone. Especially not at night.”

Madison did her best not to gape. Mountain lions were so
rare, and she had never heard of anyone dying from an attack before. A bear was
much more likely, and she was already fearful of them. Her grandfather kept a
hunting rifle beneath his bed as he slept, because, as he put it, “There are so
many damn bears around these parts it’d be stupid not to.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, suddenly feeling
uncomfortable as a silence fell between the two of them. “Did you want a cup of
coffee?”

It was strange that she even offered. Madison didn’t
consider herself a nice, accommodating person when it came to handsome men. She
had been screwed over too many times in the past for that. But she felt a
strong urge to please Caleb, to give him something.

It was a feeling that was oddly compelling, something she
suddenly realized she had to fight.

Don’t go falling for men so quickly. Remember what that
got you last time?

“As much as I’d like to take you up on that offer, I did
promise Mr. Bentley I’d help him move some timber into his truck. As you can
imagine, I have it rough around these parts.”

His disarming smile melted Madison inside out. But, she
reminded herself, people in small towns didn’t change much. He was probably
still the cruel guy he was as a kid, just with a badge and a gun. It also
wasn’t lost on her that she was one of a dozen women her age—most of which
had families of their own already.

Don’t be easy
, she reminded herself. She could see
what kind of guy he was. The small town’s resident smooth-talker.

“Well then, it was nice seeing you again,” she said, turning
her smile into a terse line.

“Not so fast.” He held the door back as she reached for the
handle to close it. Her face was uncomfortably close to his for a moment, his
hot breath falling down onto her skin, his hazel eyes boring down into her
light blue ones. She could feel her knees going weak, her own breath becoming
shallow.

She straightened up, pulling herself away from him, trying
to act as if the moment never passed. His smirk grew, as if he’d won something.

“I thought you might like to get a drink tonight. Catch up
and see how life’s been treating you. I mean it’s not often people in
Titusville get contact with the outside world,” he joked.

“There’s a place to drink around here?” Madison’s eyes went
wide. She would have never guessed in a million years a town of a hundred and
fifty people could even support a bar.

“Requisite of every back country town,” he joked. “Yep, Bill
Michaels has a bar next to the gas station, only open until ten though. Why
don’t you meet me there at around seven?”

As much as she wanted to say no, to tell him she was actually
quite busy— she couldn’t. Something was drawing her to him, some kind of
seductive magnetic force that existed between them. It was a hot sensation,
pulling from her belly.

What drove her craziest was that she felt like he knew it
too. He knew she couldn’t just walk away from him.

“That’d be fine,” she said haughtily, as if she were just
saying yes to get him out of her way. But the thought of seeing him again
thrilled her. It was a moment in the near future, pregnant with promise,
bloated with secret hopes.

The worst part too was that she knew he knew she was putting
him on. He nodded, searching her face one last time. Then his gaze dropped
suspiciously low, down to where her flannel shirt closed at the top, just a
small peak of her cleavage that fabric couldn’t contain…

“Well, I’ll see you tonight then,” he said, turning to leave
and waving his hand behind him. Madison’s face was a deep cerise, she was
absolutely sure of it.

And while she wanted to hate him, wanted to think he was a
disgusting pervert for staring at her so blatantly like a piece of meat, she
wanted him.

Every look he gave her was thrilling.

“Not again,” she groaned, watching his police car pull out
of her driveway onto the beaten dirt road.

Because Madison was supposed to be done with that type of
man. The type that strung her along because she was regular sex and
hardworking. She thought of Dustin, how easily he charmed her with his gorgeous
brown eyes and how good he looked on a motorcycle.

Then she thought about how ugly he looked to her when she
caught him panting like an animal in their living room, his body suspended over
that skinny stripper his brother ran around with.

Madison shook her head and turned back into the house.

I’m here for a reason
,
she reminded herself.
No more men. No
ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Chapter Two
 

Madison looked herself over in the mirror one last time,
smoothing the front of her purple blouse. She wanted to look the perfect
combination of casual and sexy. She knew it was slightly pathetic that she wanted
Caleb to want her, especially if she didn’t want to do anything about it, but
it made her feel like she would have the upper hand in a battle that would play
out in the subtext of their conversation. If she looked too good, her efforts
would become apparent, and she would automatically lose.

Plus, who wants to be the only woman dressed to the nines in
a backwoods bar? Given her last job as a bartender for a popular trucker stop,
she knew what kind of attention that garnered and it was anything but pleasant.

She nodded in approval at the casual flair her jeans
provided, and looked her rear over one last time, marveling at how perfect her
butt looked in them. It wasn’t easy for her to find a pair of flattering jeans
with her curvaceous figure, and she had bought them on a whim without even
trying them on: a cardinal sin under any other circumstance. But she was
fleeing Pickford, and while she had more than enough clothes at her old
apartment, she had packed her bags in a flurry of tears and running mascara,
screaming as she alternated between chucking things at Dustin and stuffing them
in a bag.

“Stop thinking about him,” she told herself as she ran
chapstick
over her lips, tossing it into her purse and
heading out the front door. Stepping into the brisk air, she looked out at the
beautiful magenta sky, the sun dipping beneath the tops of the tall trees. She
realized running away from everything was turning out to be harder than she
anticipated. She still carried her troubles in her heart like a heavy, beating
shackle she didn’t have the key to.

The change in scenery hadn’t been enough. She had spent the
whole rest of her day cleaning and thinking about him.

Just like she did when they lived together.

Madison sighed and stepped out onto the driveway, decided to
take a quick detour towards the lake since she was a little early anyway. She
needed to find something bigger than herself, some awesome beauty to marvel at,
and she remembered how much she loved Eagle Lake as a little girl.

She walked past a few more quaint cabins, all American cars
sitting out on their driveways, one beaten down truck without wheels in
someone’s backyard. A man sitting on his porch waved at her and she waved back,
wondering if perhaps she had met him in her childhood.

Then she came across the bank to just where the road ended
abruptly, having nowhere else to go. She smiled to herself as she marveled at
the fading sunlight, glimmering on the surface of the deep blue water that
looked like it went out forever. She stepped out onto the steep bank, placing
her hand on a nearby tree to steady herself as she made her descent.

“Oh shit!” she yelped, feeling something sticky beneath her
fingers that caused her to pull her hand away, losing her balancing and
tripping so that she fell down onto to her knees. But before she could tumble
down the hill towards the bank of the lake, where unpleasant rocks and a
possible sprained ankle awaited, she felt something strong tug on her arm,
pulling her back away from her potentially disastrous fall.

She turned to see a handsome man with sandy blonde hair and
dark blue eyes chiseled into a perfectly proportioned, masculine face only
inches away from her own. His extended arm pulled her up, his other hand
resting lightly on the sticky tree.

“Will?” she gasped, in shock as he helped her stand up.

“I’m surprised you remember me,” he said, his voice deep yet
melodic. It was so smooth and gentle that she wondered how it was even real.

“And you remember me?” she nearly laughed, checking out her
arms for any scratches. There was only some dirt on the front of her jeans that
dusted off pretty easily.

“Of course. You always had a face that was hard to forget,”
he said. “Though I must admit, I’m surprised you came back.”

Madison found it hard to look him in the eyes as she fought
back another inevitable blush. What was it with these seductive mountain men?
“I guess news travels quickly around here, huh?”

“You’d be amazed.” He laughed lightly. “Are you okay? Didn’t
bruise anything did you?”

The genuine look of concern in his cerulean eyes was killing
her inside, making her heart skip a beat.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks to you. I didn’t even see you there,
it’s like you came out of nowhere,” she marveled.

“I was just right here,” he insisted, indicating the empty
space beside him. “Enjoying the view. You’d better be careful if your eyesight
isn’t too good.”

“That’s strange,” she muttered, sure that she hadn’t seen
him at all. “I guess I should have my vision checked next time I’m in
civilization. Not that this place isn’t great,” she said, quickly covering her
tracks. While she would have intentionally tried to spite someone like Caleb,
Will just seemed so sweet-tempered that he didn’t deserve it. He was always
protecting her when they were little, to the point where she had developed a
small summertime crush on him.

Will just laughed again, the buoyant quality of his voice
intoxicating her. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not in any sort of denial about
where I live.”

Madison smiled sheepishly, looking down to the ground
momentarily, amazed at how his gaze still made her feel bashful all these years
later. “Yeah, well, I obviously came here for a reason. It’s really beautiful
out here.”


“I sure think so. Is that why you came down to the
lake?”


“Yeah,” she admitted, turning her head back to look at the
beautiful water sparkling in the sunset. “I know it looks really nice around
this time of day, and I wanted to take a quick look at it before I...Oh crap!
I’m late!”

“Meeting Caleb at Bill’s?” he offered.

“Yeah...how did you know?” Madison said, slightly taken
aback.

“You said it yourself. News travels fast here.”

She hesitated, looking over his gorgeous face. Part of her
didn’t want to go with Caleb. She wanted to stay here with Will, looking over
at the beautiful sunset, listening to the sound of his deep, musical voice.

He was the kind of man she never met in Pickford: kind,
earnest, and drop-dead gorgeous. He was the kind of man you only read about in
books or saw on TV, the kind that would do anything for his woman and would
never dream of leaving his kids.

And she was going to ditch him to drink beer with a man who
tormented her as a child.

As her mother always said, “You sure know how to pick ’
em
.”

“Yeah, well, I’d better get going since I’m already late,”
she hesitated. “But please, let me thank you some time from saving me from a
broken limb. I can’t imagine that would be much fun to deal with all the way up
here.”

“I broke my leg when I was fifteen,” he said. “Believe me,
not a fun car ride. And don’t worry about it, up here we’ve got nothing but
time. I’m sure the favor will come back to me at some point.”

She nodded and felt the strange magnetism pull through her
core, like it had with Caleb.

That’s insane
, she thought.
Stop being so boy
crazy.

She wondered for a moment if she was just trying to fill the
gap that Dustin had left in her, aching and sore like a festering man-needing
wound.

“Thanks again,” she said, walking away as quickly as she
could back to the road without tripping, trying to escape her own needy
desires.

“See you around. Oh, and Madison?” he called. She turned,
her heart stuck in her throat as the soft sunlight parted through the trees,
falling on his face and giving him a heavenly glow.

“Yes?” she croaked out, her palms getting sweaty like she
was in high school all over again, eyeing her crush across the hall.

“Don’t worry about Caleb. He’s always late.”

“Oh, okay,” she said, surprised by the affectionate way he
had said it, almost as if he was laughing internally at a good friend’s bad
habit. But as she turned back down the road, the image of the celestially
gorgeous man burned into her brain, she realized they probably were still good
friends.

As different as they were, like a wicked night and a beach
picnic day, they were inseparable as children. That was how she had met them. She
remembered how they were building a raft to float across the lake, Caleb trying
to command the younger Will, and Will, defiant in a silent way, doing whatever
he well pleased with a small smile plastered across his face at all times.

Will was the daydreamer. Caleb was the troublemaker.

She wondered how in the world she had nearly forgotten about
those two characters in her life.

It’s not like life’s been a bed of roses back home
,
she reminded herself. Every summer she had spent up until she was twelve was
wonderful out here in Titusville. But when her father left, things turned for
the worse, and the months she had spent out in this mountain paradise became
more and more distant. Her summers became like sunny dreams that she could
hardly remember, let alone associate as a reality she had ever experienced.

She pushed the terrible memories out of her mind as the
“downtown” area came into view. If she hadn’t been to Titusville before she
would have laughed. It was nothing more than a series of small buildings, most
of which were tourist shops for people on their way to the state park. Right
next to the gas station, as Caleb promised, was a small building with a sign
that said, in bold black letters, Bill’s.

A normal girl would have run in the opposite direction. But
Madison knew what she was getting into. The Winder back in Pickford looked very
similar to Bill’s on the outside. It was attached to a gas station, but instead
of being tucked away in a mountain village it was sitting right on the exit ramp
of the highway, a choice destination stop for truckers looking for a beer and
an exotic dancer.

She didn’t have too many fond memories of her job. But as
she smoothed out the front of her blouse a final time, she knew that Bill’s
couldn’t be as bad as it looked. For one thing, no semi-truck was bumbling up a
mountain road on its way to a marshmallow roast.

And when she opened the door and looked around, she realized
that it was exactly what she thought—a place for the few old men in the
town to drink beer and shoot the shit.

“Can I help you?” an old man with a leathery face asked.
Though he looked as old as time itself, something about the twinkle in his
light eyes, strong enough that Madison could see it even in the hazy bar light,
let her know that he was jovial and full of life.

“Do you have a bud light?” she asked.

“Sure do. But no one to impress around here so I wouldn’t
worry too much about an extra pound or two,” he said, giving her a
non-threatening wink.

“Well, just wanted to start off the evening light.”

“You’re Seth’s granddaughter, aren’t you?” he said as he
pulled a bottle from the cooler behind him, tucking it under the counter for a
moment to pop off the lid.

“Yep,” she replied, taking the cold beer and giving it a
good swig, grateful for the refreshing wash of lager that fell back into her
throat. She loved a good beer, and whether it was the result of small town
living or working in a bar for so many years, she couldn’t ever feel too bad
about it. It was one of those small pleasures that made life worth it at the
end of a hard day.

“You got his eyes for one thing,” he said, picking up a rag
to wipe down the dark counter. “But also, the word around town is Caleb Fowler
was supposed to meet Seth’s granddaughter for a beer tonight,” he said with a
smile.

Madison shook her head in disbelief. “News does travel
fast,” she muttered.

“About the only thing that does around here. I’d be
surprised if Caleb gets his ass over here before I’m ready to close.”

“Is he that bad?” Madison frowned, trying to hide her disappointment
behind another sip of her beer.

“You know, I’ll be honest with you. I’ve seen many a people
sitting right where you’re sitting waiting for that son of a gun to meet him
for a drink. Now, there are only so many people in this town and only so many
things he’s got to do to protect them.”

He studied Madison’s disappointed face and laughed. “Don’t
get yourself too down though, he always shows.”

Bill excused himself and went to go check on the table of
half a dozen older men, and Madison sat wondering for a moment how many of
those people were women. It was dumb and presumptuous of her, and ultimately,
she reminded herself, it didn’t matter.

You’re here because you’re bored. And maybe to stroke
your ego a little bit
, she thought, even though deep down she knew that she
couldn’t have said no to Caleb if she tried.

Then, by the time she had almost finished her beer, she
could feel herself getting pissed off and embarrassed. She wondered, and the
thought was unbearably strong, if she was being put on in some elaborate joke
like when they were children. She was severely teased as a child for being a
“porker,” as the other kids called her, and the scars were still there, no
matter how many times a friend or boyfriend told her she was beautiful, that
she was “full-figured” not fat. A deep dissatisfaction with her body lingered
in the back of her mind like a pesky horsefly that finds its way onto a porch
and buzzes in your ear every so often.

“Well
lookie
here,” came a deep,
gruff voice.

Madison turned to tell Caleb off when an unfamiliar man sank
into the seat beside her, another thinner man with greasy hair standing behind
him, his arms folded over his chest and a smarmy grin on his face.

“Who are you?” Madison asked, pulling back a little as the
man’s liquor-bated breath assaulted her. He was a mean looking man, with a
clean-shaven head and a tattoo on his face—a series of three lines
beneath his right eye that looked like a claw mark.

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