Too Many Rock Stars (Access All Areas #1) (16 page)

I grabbed Razer's address off the records in the office – he wasn't that far from the club – and I ran to the bus stop. I had no idea what his plans were. Maybe he'd already left. He might be on the plane and that's why his phone was off. I had no idea what I'd say or do when I saw him, I just knew that I needed to talk to him. I'd figure out the rest later.

With an offer like that, I had no idea if he even wanted to see me. Even if he'd been rushing for the airport, how long does it take to send a text while you are just sitting around in the cab? That he'd not even thought of doing that pierced my heart like a poison dart. He might not think of me but he had a whole bunch of other people involved in this too. They deserved some notice.

I searched down the street for the bus but there was no bus in sight. I checked my watch.

Things would be going nuts at the club. I had no plan on how I'd deal with that situation but people could wait. They'd have to be told the night was cancelled. They'd bitch and they'd scream but they'd go away. All that could be managed once I'd seen Razer's face and got an idea of how he felt.

I paced up the street and checked my watch again. Still no bus. There were a bunch of people waiting – some old ladies with shopping jeeps filled with vegetables, a teenage couple feeling each other up, a few bored people leaning against a shop window.

"It's already five minutes late, love," said one of the old ladies. "Could be another 20 minutes for all we know. It's never on time."

I kicked the bus stop sign pole and yelled. I didn't have 20 minutes.

I got the address out of my pocket. It wasn't that far. I took off, running, instead.

Damn people kept getting in my way. I shoved them aside and dodged around them trying to get down the crowded street. I got to the intersection and wasn't sure which way to go. I needed to check on my phone but that just took up valuable time. Finally, it loaded. I turned left. Off the main street, it wasn't as crowded and I picked up my pace.

I stumbled on something and went sprawling forward but righted myself and kept running. I had to see him. I had to tell him how I felt. Even if he didn't play the show. Even if he left.

Those things I'd said to him, that we didn't belong together, that we weren't right for each other. I'd lied when I said them. I’d known that at the time. I'd been so scared of what would happen if I let him into my life that I'd destroyed things before they could even start. All I had was a crumbling pile of emotions and I needed to rebuild. If I had any chance at all.

Whether he'd accept what I had to say or not, I had to tell him how I felt. That was all I could do.

I got to the block of flats. He was on the fifth floor. I ran in and hit the button for the elevator then leaned against the wall, trying to recover my breath. I wouldn't be telling him anything in this state, just a load of heavy breathing.

The elevator took forever. I looked at the stairs and considered running up them but my heart pounded like it was going to explode and I thought I might die on the way. Luckily, the elevator dinged and I flung myself inside, punching the buttons.

What would I do when I saw him? Throw myself at him? Offer to leave everything and go with him?

If I had to leave the club, would I?

Who'd save the place if I didn't? Someone might. Or it might die a natural death.

I never believed people when they told me things changed but now the change was me.

When I got out, I belted down the hallway until I found his door. I jabbed the doorbell about 50 times, then waited. I heard a noise and my heart pounded even more. Then it was silent.

I knocked. Bashing my fist against that door until it felt like my arms would drop off. I’d thought I heard a noise. Maybe I'd imagined it. It could've been next door.

"Shut the fuckin' noise up." An old man poked his head into the hallway. "He's not there, love. He left a while ago."

No way. I'd missed him. Was he on his way to the airport? Maybe I could find a cab and follow him. But, even then, I'd be too late. There was no way I could catch up to him. He'd be checked in and through security, way out of my reach.

I should've said something earlier. All those times I'd denied my feelings and pushed him away. There was nothing here for him. Of course he’d left.

I slunk back to the elevator and figured all there was left for me now was to return to the club and clean up this mess. Maybe, one day in the future, Razer would return and I'd be able to sort my feelings out. But that was a big maybe.

This was what I got for being a fool. I punched the elevator wall.

The entire walk back to the club, I dragged my feet. Maybe I should've agreed to Carlie's plan to run away and drink cocktails. The competition, even the future of the club, no longer mattered to me. All I could think about was how I'd never have Razer come into my office during the day with his stupid jokes and crazy innuendos. The way his eyes caressed my body, the way his lips had felt on mine.

Unaware, I'd raised my fingers to my lips in memory of that. I should've let the phone keep ringing that night and stayed with him in our bubble, away from the world. At least I would’ve had memories now of something more than a kiss.

When I got back to the club, downstairs was empty. The crowd had cleared out. I figured Carlie must've told them to go home. I kicked a can someone had left sitting on the floor and stumbled toward my office.

I'd lost it all – the fight to save the club, Razer, and any chance I had for happiness. I didn't even want to think about my future. I might as well go to my office and pack up my stuff and go home.

Sure, I couldn't help that Razer got an offer he couldn't refuse but I'd failed at being true to myself.

I kept my head down. I didn't want to talk to anyone or even meet their eyes. I just wanted to be alone to lick my wounds. I'd sulk and maybe cry a little. I didn’t want company for that, I'd do it all alone in my crummy flat. Maybe I could buy a bottle of whisky and a bucket of ice-cream. One or the other might make me feel better but I doubted it.

Damn that man, he haunted me. I could've sworn I could smell the scent of him lingering in the bar. I guess he spent enough time there that it'd seeped into the walls. It seemed to even override the stale beer and Drew-sweat smells though.

Before I got to the bar, a pair of arms clasped around me. I shook them off. I had no heart for stupid games.

“Are you looking for me?”

I spun around.

Razer?

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked. "Why aren't you at the airport?"

I didn't mean to yell at him. This was the chance I'd wanted and, instead of pouring out my feelings, I had to yell? That wasn't doing me any good.

"That keen to see me go, are you? But I have a gig to play." He grinned at me in that way that made my belly do flip-flops.

My body flooded with emotion and the world that had seemed so grey and cold became a bright and sparkling thing.

"But Dazza said..."

"Dazza don't know shit. He got the wrong end of the stick and then rushed out to get a burger before anyone could explain anything to him. Then he goes mouthing off, getting you all upset. I'll punch the bastard when I see him. I'd break his arms but then he'd not be able to drum and that's the only useful skill he has."

I threw my arms around Razer’s neck. I wouldn't let go either. Not ever. I pressed my body against his, wanting to make sure he was really there. It wasn't some dream.

"Whoa, Violet, you're awfully pleased to see me."

"I thought you'd gone." The words came out with a small sob.

He put his arms around my waist and held me tight. It all disappeared. The bar, the noise, it all melted away. Instead, there was just him and me. Together. His mouth found mine and, as our lips locked, I knew this was real. I drowned in his kiss. That pool that I’d only dipped my toes in before, now I dived in headfirst. I didn't need to hold back. I could give myself to him. I had to tell him, even with everyone in the bar listening.

If he still wanted me.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Sorry I've been such a bitch."

He raised my head so I was forced to look at him. I looked into his eyes. Yeah, he still wanted me. He didn't need words to tell me that.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, Vi. I always knew you were mine, you just had to take your sweet time about finding that out for yourself. Anything worth anything is worth waiting for."

He winked at me as he said that.

All the sadness weighing me down disappeared. Razer was here and I was in his arms and life was perfect. If the bar closed, if I lost my job, if the world ended, I'd bear it all because I had the one thing I'd thought I'd lost.

Then I thought of something.

"You turned down the best offer of your life to play here? Are you fucking crazy?"

"Crazy about you, that's what I am," he said. His smile threatened to split his face and that hint of a dimple danced with joy.

I let go of him for a minute so I could punch him.

"That's so cheesy." But I loved that he said it. I hadn’t lost him.

My body burned for him and it might take forever for that fire to be quenched. If he was crazy, I was even crazier.

He shrugged. "You shoulda known I'd never be the kind of guy to turn my back on my friends. I couldn't leave you in the shit, Violet. Not just because I love you but because that would be a ratbag thing to do. This club is my life, it's been everything to me. You guys need the competition to survive. Friends do for friends. Anyway, with my talent and good looks, plenty of other chances will come along. Chances for me and my own band, not being a tagalong on someone else's shirt tails."

That made me love him even more. Loyalty is as sexy as hell. With the sparks flying from his eyes, I leaned in, ready for his lips on mine.

Then we got ripped apart.

"What's going on here?" Alex’s eyes flashed with anger.

"Deal's off, sorry," I said. "I'm not going to keep it."

He folded his arms and glared at me, his eyebrows knitting together. I didn't care. Nothing in the world would make me date anyone else now. They could have their pissing competition and prove which was the best band but that had nothing to do with me. You can't win a heart with rock. Well, not my heart. I've known too many rock stars.

"A deal's a deal."

"You can't force me to date you," I said. "Even if Razer loses. It was a stupid deal. Why would you want to enforce something like that?"

“Yeah, man. The lady’s made her decision,” Jackson added in. He gave me the thumbs up, then kept drinking.

"And I'm not going lose." Razer seemed certain of that. If only that crowd had stuck around. He put his arm around me and I leaned against him.

"Don't be too sure of that," Alex said.

The smirk on his face made me want to hit him. The arrogance I'd found sexy now seemed overdone and contrived, an act he put on to cover up his selfish nature. Alex was the kind of guy who only thought of himself and, for some reason, he wanted me for his own reasons. Not love, maybe not even lust. More like a desire to possess something he couldn’t have.

"Holy shit, Violet. I have to get upstairs," Razer said.

"But everyone's gone. There were people here before. Loads of them."

As I said it, I realised I could hear noise. Coming from upstairs. There was a band playing up there? I guess some people had stuck around.

"No worries, Violet. Some of us stuck around and worked even while you were more concerned about your love life." Carlie smirked at me. "We figured Razer wouldn't let us down and were just opening up the band room when he arrived. Some of us have faith."

She said that now but she'd been freaking out as much as I had when Razer hadn't turned up. There was no talk of Razer not letting us down then.

"So why aren't you up there, working?" I asked her.

"Shit," she said and put down the beer she was pouring. "I guess we should all get upstairs. Although, it’s been much more interesting down here."

I didn't want to let go of Razer but he was right. He needed to get on stage. Soon.

We ran up the back stairs and he got ready.

While the support band finished up, I found Sally to see what the numbers were like.

"It's close," she said. "Razer is about 20 people behind. We'll just have to wait and see if anyone else turns up. There's always some stragglers. What are you so happy about anyway? Hey, if Razer wins this, can I go after Alex? He's totally hot."

I winked. "Even if Razer loses, go for your life."

I pushed my way to the front of the stage. Girlfriend's privilege. Was I his girlfriend? The words hadn't been said but the assumption was there. Razer would win the competition and we'd go on our cute date and then we'd be together forever. Matching tattoos and all.

While the band set up, the buzz in the crowd grew louder and stronger. Anticipation filled the air, so strong and thick you could almost touch it, slice it up and hand it out on a platter. There was no fancy lighting, no special effects. This wasn't a show, it was rock. Pure rock with no pretensions.

Within minutes, Razer thundered onto stage, his guitar screaming like a woman in the throes of passion. The sound mixed with the screams from the crowd, everything melding into one.

Bodies crushed against mine, sweat ran down my body. I laughed, loving being part of it all.

I watched Razer, the way he moved and the expression on his face. I'd been so wrong about this man. I'd thought he didn't take his music seriously but he took it more seriously than anyone I knew. It was just the business he didn't do well.

Then his eyes met mine and that feeling flooded through me to the souls of my feet. I couldn't breathe. I couldn’t think, I could only float on the amazing music this man made. His voice growled out, rough and raw, thrilling every nerve in my body. His fingers caressed the guitar with promises to come.

It was magic and the magic was mine.

All too soon, it was over. As the second last song faded out, Carlie popped up beside me.

"Hey, you're supposed to be working the bar."

"No one's drinking. I'll go back soon enough." She laughed, then our attention went back to the stage.

"I wrote this song to win the love of a special woman," Razer said. "But it's too late for that."

"Awww," said the crowd in unison.

"No, it's not a sad ending. I didn't need the song. I won her with the power of my own awesomeness."

He grinned at me and our gazes locked for a moment. But song? What song? He'd never mentioned it to me.

"It's called Violet Eyes."

Oh my God. No. I shuddered. Having a song written about me, that should be thrilling but that title did nothing for me. If I hated it, what would I say? I couldn't lie but you couldn't tell someone you hated your song either. I’d have to be as tactful as hell and being tactful wasn’t one of my skills.

Then he started singing.

The emotion in the words, the simple yet beautiful melody. The restrained power. That song was a winner. It stirred something inside me like no song ever had before. He felt like that? He’d told me he was crazy about me so many times but that could mean a million things. The song, the melody, they pinned down the exact type of crazy and it was a beautiful thing.

"You're crying," Carlie yelled in my ear.

"Am not," I said but I did have a few tears in my eyes. Even if it wasn't about me, that song would make me cry. I wasn't the only one in the crowd crying either.

When Razer went off stage, I still had tears.

“Damn it, girl, you’re got it bad,” Carlie said. “I’ve got to get back to the bar, I guess. And you should check with Sally to see who won this battle for your heart. Ha, ha, as if that isn’t obvious.”

There was no way in hell I'd date Alex now, even if it meant going back on my word. He could rage all he wanted but he couldn't force me to date him.

"I can't tell you," Sally said. "I promised. There's going to be an official announcement. On stage tonight. I'm giving the results."

Fuck that shit. I didn't care. I knew who'd won. If the winner got me then Razer didn't need the numbers. He had the only vote that counted. I went backstage to find him. And who the hell decided the official announcement thing anyway? No one ran it by me. I leave the club for a few minutes to attend to personal business and everyone goes and does their own thing.

Normally, I'd stick around after the gig but I wanted to leave as soon as humanly possible. It seemed like we had a whole lot of talking to do. And by "talking", I meant talking with our hands and all our other body parts. Naked talking with lots of groaning and grunting involved.

It took forever to get through that crowd though. So many people wanting to stop and congratulate Razer. Rubbing his arm, patting his back. Putting drinks in his hands. What a bunch of goddamn cock-blockers. He kept shooting me apologetic glances and it turned my belly to mush.

Finally, we got a moment to ourselves.

"Let's just rush out. No talking to anyone downstairs. No dilly-dallying," I said to him.

He had his hand in my back pocket and the touch seared into my skin. I needed to explore that much further.

"I've waited this long for you. I can wait a bit longer," he said. "I want to know who won."

"No way." Did he have any idea how much my body burned for him? If he made me wait around, I'd end up molesting him in the bar. "What does it matter?"

"This isn't just about you, Violet. It's about my honour."

I groaned. That settled it. I'd have to just douse myself with ice water or something. I couldn’t fight his honour.