To Live and To Love (Black Wolf Agency Book 1) (2 page)

As James sat in his living room, the memories of the last two years replayed in his mind. He couldn’t believe how quickly the time had gone by. What he regretted most during that time was letting his true love go. He would never forget that night she left him, but since
Black Wolf Agency
was responsible for bringing her into his life, he was determined to use it to get her back.

He always thought maybe he could have done something more, something that would have made a difference. There was probably a little resentment still there, about the Agency, but James could not fault them too much. If he knew then, what he knew now, things would have been so much different. The year that had passed since that night changed so much, he was stronger now an agent, not a paper pusher.

From This Moment On

It didn’t used to be so bad for James when he was at work. Work kept his mind off things. It used to be that only when he got home, everything began to overwhelm him. That’s when the dark thoughts would come. Now, James was finding it more and more difficult to keep them at bay. Though his job was still the same in some ways, it was also vastly different. While still in charge of the artifacts, he was also an agent for the company. Granted he was a human and still in training, but soon he would know all there was to know about the world now. So many things had opened up for him, and yet so many things had been taken.

However, lately, nothing could keep his mind from wandering off to other things, not even work… especially work. Work was where the key was, and James knew he was becoming more and more desperate to go through with his plan. Which is why on this day his thoughts wandered more than normal.

It hurt the worst every time he remembered the Resurrection Amulet. Every thought of his lately related to it in some way… he would picture her gorgeous eyes and beautiful smile. He could feel her lips kissing him so lovingly and feel her cool, soft skin against his. And every time he thought of her, he pictured her disappearing before his very own eyes.

It always ended with that thought. Why couldn’t he focus on the good times they shared instead of the negative?

It was simple. He felt alone, more than he ever had. Sure, he had sought other women to fulfill his needs, but none of them were the one he truly needed. So, James ended up feeling worse than he did to start out with. But tonight, after a year of waiting he was going to bring his other half back.

Another thought ran through his head on a regular basis. He kept telling himself, ‘
It isn’t what she wants…’
, but his thought and his actions were not always on the same page lately. He was sick of the ‘
what if’s?
’ James knew he could think about this for the rest of his life or take action. He was not the same person he used to be. No, he was a member of a secret agency; it made him like member of a paranormal CIA. This job is how he made his living for the last two years, but it was also the reason he sometimes lay awake at night, worrying about his safety in his own home. He shivered as he thought of the creepy ass animal that he had taken out a few days ago, sniffing through his garbage. They owed him; he never wanted to be the only human in this crazy ass world. But now he was, and he was going to use it to bring back the only woman he ever loved.

James couldn’t help himself. He had to see if it would work. He just couldn’t live another moment like this. Besides, if he totally screwed this up and got fired from the agency, then he would have another job to fall back on. Accounting was boring, but he could be an accountant anywhere. Geneva sounded nice, that was probably where he was going go if his plan went wrong.

James knew of one, and only one way to bring Kate back, and he had every intention on taking advantage of it. Then, he would let the chips fall where they landed. His aunt was just going to have to understand.

When he was finished working; he sat down for a moment at his desk to think. He knew he couldn’t stay in this state of limbo forever. He couldn’t stand another lonely night without her. He had to do something. This was the day he had been waiting for. James just needed to suck it up and do it.

There was only one thing that he knew of that could bring Kate back. He decided to borrow the Resurrection Amulet; a paranormal artifact he recovered from a demon that he and his agency vanquished months ago. The demon had been wreaking havoc among the nightclub goers, occasionally killing a drunk or two in random alleys. It had been a difficult process ridding the city of the demon. Finally, after three months of trying to capture him, James entrapped him in an invisible magic cage and threw a potion on him, causing him to change from his human appearance to a ghastly red, bull-like creature. Then, as the creature reared up on his hind legs in a rage, James threw a dagger at his heart, killing him. Of course, he had to throw up in the alley right afterward, but it seemed a small price to pay for getting rid of the creature.

After recalling the memory of slaying the demon, he carefully began to put his plan in action. He was the last one left in the building, so that part was easy. James stood up and looked around; there were cameras, but he stayed late a few weeks ago and wore the same clothes as he had that night. If they watched the security footage from tonight, they would see him getting up from his desk and going to the door to leave. He was thankful at the moment he planted the footage that he was talented with technology.

Now he had to get the prize. James quickly walked to the room where the artifacts were stored. Of course there was a code, but since he was the one to verify who entered and who didn’t, that part was easy. Disengaging the security was not so much. But he asked all the right questions when the repairman had been here. Of course, he had been the one who had accidentally tripped and threw a whole glass of milk on the circuit board. That had been a classic screw up, and even his aunt even had believed it to be accidental.

The security repairman had to give him the code to disarm the lasers that protected the room, just in case it happened again. The burning smell of milk had been enough to empty the building, but it had also caused the vault to lock down. Now he had the code, and he put it in quickly and then took a deep breath and waited. It seemed like it took forever for the little click to tell him it was safe. Of course, it did not help that his palms were sweating since he was technically committing a crime.

James walked to the case that held what he wanted and sighed. He was finally going to retrieve the amulet, placing it in his jacket pocket. He quickly left the artifact room, enabled the alarm again, and quickly snuck out of the building with it, securing the main entrance on his way out.

On his way home, James kept looking over his shoulder, paranoid and afraid someone would yell at him to come back. By the sixth block he finally began to breathe normally. He couldn’t help but smile as he remembered when he had first met Kate…

It was a gorgeous night. James was on vacation and there wasn’t anything on TV that night, so he decided to do something new for a change and go to a nightclub. Yes, that was new to him, considering what a geek had had been only a few months before. Now, he was an agent, with a super secret decoder ring to match. ‘I have to get out more,’ he thought to himself, as he wandered down the street, looking for a bar to go in to.

When he arrived, he noticed her sitting at the bar with her back to him. He felt instinct take over and walked over to take a seat next to her. As soon as he sat down, she turned his way and her beautiful hazel eyes caught his gaze, mesmerizing him. They smiled at each other, introduced themselves, and he bought her a drink. At that moment, he couldn’t believe how amazingly well things were going for him. He had never been comfortable talking to women before, so this was a first. James was surprised when, after talking for a while, they made their way outside to go for a walk. Things were going really well; James wanted to pat himself on the back, but thought it would be too obvious
.

Kate was beautiful with porcelain features reminded him of a doll. Her hair was brown and wavy with loose curls that met just above her shoulders. She was shorter than him; he could tell even when they were sitting, since her feet never reached the floor, but when she stood up he knew for sure that she was a few inches shorter than him. She was thin, yet very well put together. Her slim, but curvy figure made him wonder what she would look like without the sexy, Victorian-inspired dress she was wearing.

After walking around the block a few times, since James didn’t want to see some creature and have to kill it, they decided to go back to his apartment. James couldn’t believe he was bringing someone to his apartment that he just met, but there was just something about this woman that pulled him in. It was more than physical; it was hard to put into words.

When they arrived at his place, James’s level of nervousness was at an all-time high; they barely knew one another. Would he screw this up somehow? What if she wasn’t who she seemed? But he felt a strong connection; one he could not help but act on. Thank goodness he did, he and Kate could have lit up the sky with their passion. It had been the best night of his life.

The morning after, he woke to discover she had left. He sensed she was a vampire from the minute he had touched her and felt her cool skin. Then, when he hadn’t felt a heartbeat in her chest, he knew for sure. He also knew it should have bothered him or worried him, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret the want he felt for her. James had hoped she would have stayed, especially after the incredible passion they shared. Knowing what he knew about her, he truly understood why she had left before the crack of dawn.

Repeating the resurrection ceremony would be difficult. He didn’t even know if it was possible without a body or ashes from which to revive. And it wasn’t like he could go a hunt down a witch and make her perform the spell. No, he had to do it by himself, so at least he knew he had tried, even if it ended up failing.

He drew the images from his memory of that night when he and Kate had performed the ritual together. He placed five candles carefully in a circle, each candle representing the points of a star. The fact that he even had that many candles surprised him. After the candles were delicately placed in their positions, he laid the amulet gently in the very center of the candles and placed Kate’s necklace on top of it.

Everything was laid out the same, but instead of a body, or at least remnants of a body, the only thing that remained was her necklace, the necklace that had been left behind when she vanished. He assumed there was a small fragment of her DNA left on it, or at least he hoped there was.

He made a cut on his arm with a kitchen knife and bled onto her necklace and the Resurrection Amulet. As he recited the Latin phrase over and over, the memories replayed in his head, clearer than ever.

He continued to let his blood drip onto her necklace and the amulet. As he did so, he closed his eyes and continued the chant… hoping… praying…

Nothing happened. Well, that was certainly a letdown. After all this… and
nothing
.

Heartbroken, James turned away and plopped down in his chair in defeat. He couldn’t keep the tears from escaping his eyes, for his love was gone…
gone
. All he would have now was the memory of her. He would always remember that last night he spent with her…

“I don’t belong in this world, James,” said Kate in her sweet French accent, her teary hazel eyes meeting his. “I don’t want to live like this anymore.”

“What do you mean? Are you not happy here…? With me…?” he asked, his nervous heart pounding hard in his chest. He didn’t like where this was going…and hoped the answer was not him.

“No, it’s not you, James. Of
course
it’s not you. I love you. No, it’s what I am. I’m not an evil person, but
what
I am is evil.”

“How can any part of you be evil? You’ve never killed anyone. You feed on donated blood and animal blood? And that is saying a lot since some of the people I deal with seem to think that is a huge inconvenience not to kill people. You, on the other hand, are nothing like the other vampires.”

“I know, but if I wait too long to feed, there’s no telling what I might do. I feel like just me being here is endangering you.”