To Kill the Duke (37 page)

“Frightening,” Ivan said as he, too, thought about
what would happen to himself when he got older with only being a projectionist and a spy on his resume.
He already knew what he would be told about his worrying — toughski shitski. He took the bottle from Alexei and took a gulp.

“So, when my fists go, I need my brains to make money. That is why my price is that you guys take me in as a partner and show me the ropes from the ground up about making movies. Do we have a deal?” Johnny Stomp asked them.

Both Alexei and Ivan nodded in agreement. They passed the bottle around.

“One more thing. I get $25,000 in cash. Payable in monthly installments of $5,000. We start on Monday at your office. You two guys are getting off cheap, considering it’s 1954,” Stompanato said.

“You have an idea for a movie?” Alexei asked.

“Sure. A gangster movie. We’ll be able to use a lot of people I know and shoot it around town. Takes about five months, right?” Johnny said.

Ivan nodded.

“That’s swell, because Lana is doing a movie overseas and will be gone for about five months. During that time I’ll see to it that she finds out the next time Wayne is going to have one of his panty raids,” Stompanato said.

All weekend, both Alexei and Ivan worried about their new partner.

“Are we in over heads with this guy? After all he is in the Mafia,” Ivan said over the phone to Alexei during the many phone conversations they had with each other after their meeting Friday night at
The Coconut Grove
and before they started out for work on Monday at
Seven Zeros.

“The Mafia is nothing compared to working for Mr. Zavert,” Alexei said. “I’m more worried if he can deliver on getting his girlfriend to find out the next time Wayne has a party and goes out.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re tougher and stronger than he is,” Ivan said.

“You forgot smarter and better looking,” Alexei said.

“And $25,000 is a big hunk of the budget we have,” chimed in Ivan.

“As long as we are a priority mission for Mr. Zavert, the money isn’t a problem,” Alexei reassured Ivan.

“I can’t believe we are going to make a
real
gangster movie with
real
gangsters,” Ivan said.

“It should help keep the overhead down,” Alexei said… and hoped.

And so did Ivan. In his short time as head of a tiny movie studio, he couldn’t believe the costs associated with making and distributing a movie… especially a movie that not only wasn’t reviewed, but sold zero tickets.

“Can you imagine what it costs to run a country?” Alexei asked when Ivan was complaining about the rising costs of… everything.

Toughski Shitski
, Ivan thought.

Both Ivan and Alexei were surprised that Johnny Stomp was waiting for them when they pulled in to their offices at 33 Lancaster Terrace. They always seemed to arrive within minutes of one another and were used to it. But others they had come to know in the movie business, always seemed to be late — even the people that badly needed the paycheck.

“An American thing,” Ivan said sarcastically.

“No, a Hollywood thing,” corrected Alexei.

But Alexei and Ivan had underestimated Johnny Stompanato’s desire to learn the business from the ground up. So fierce was Johnny’s determination that his boss and one of the biggest Mafia bosses in America — Mickey Cohen — had made plans to check in on how Johnny Stomp’s progress was going.

“You guys are late!” handsome Johnny bellowed when they entered the foyer of their offices.

“Just on time to be fashionably late,” Ivan said with a chuckle.

“I’m never on time, ask my parents,” Alexei said with a laugh as they motioned Stompanato to follow them into their conference room.

In the conference room, the three poured over the script in progress, the filming schedule, the weekly budget, items that had to be bought, forms that had to be filled out, pictures of people besides the real-life gangsters that Johnny Stomp was going to provide for other parts and anything else that was required to get the movie going.

“When do we start shooting?” Johnny Stomp asked his new partners.

Nice pun
, Ivan thought.

Alexei smiled. He, too, had thought of the pun that Johnny has just made… at least to both him and Ivan.

“Right away. We never stop shooting, because we’re a small studio,” Ivan said.

“Johnny, you get a hold of the people you told us about. Have them meet our second-unit director, Barney Rumberg, at
The Coconut Grov
e on Wednesday for casting, costumes, potential lines, etc.,” Alexei said.

“Give me a phone,” Stompanato demanded.

“Boss, these Italians are driving me crazy!” Barney Rumberg screamed to Ivan after they had started on the first few scenes that were being filmed at
The Coconut Grove
.

“How so?” Ivan asked the former Trotsky Number Seven.

“Let’s start with the men and women that Mr. Stompanato hired,” Rumberg said.

“Okay, tell me,” Ivan said.

“The first guy arrives and says his name is Rocco LaRocca,” Rumberg began.

“Sounds pretty Italian to me,” Ivan said.

“But his ‘friends’ have to call him Paulie!” Barney screamed.

“Who said?” asked Ivan.

“He did!” screamed Barney.

“No offense, that doesn’t sound so bad,” Ivan said.

“That’s just the beginning with these people and their names,” replied Barney.

“What do you mean?” asked Ivan.
After all, Trotsky Number Seven wasn’t the greatest of names either
he thought.

“My job is to keep attendance and make sure everyone gets paid, right?” Barney said.

“Amongst many things,” Ivan said.

“How do I make payroll checks out to people who don’t have driver’s licenses or social security numbers? Heck, even
we
have those and we both know where we are from,” pointed out Barney.

“I’ll talk to Johnny,” Ivan said. “They’re just ‘busting your balls.’”

“Oh great. Now you’re talking like them!” Barney screamed. “If I’m not dealing with a guy whose name is Rocco, but prefers Paulie, I have to put up with their stupid slang!”

“Fuggedaboudit,” teased Ivan, who had just repeated the most repeated phrase in American Mafia history.

“You come and deal with their words. Babe is a doll, but a doll isn’t a babe. Bet you didn’t know that,” Barney said.

“No, I didn’t. Know what ‘hit the mattresses’ means?” Ivan asked his employee.

“Getting laid? Having sex?” guessed Barney.

“Good guess. Exactly what Alexei and I thought. No, it means laying low if your boys are going to war,” Ivan said.

“Okay. Okay. I’ll give you an easy one. What’s a goomba?” Barney asked his boss.

“An Italian dessert?” answered Ivan.

“Boy, did you get influenced by Boris,” Rumberg said.

“Not when it came to learning how to cook,” Ivan said. “Okay, it’s Italian for money.”

“Wrong. It means ‘good friend.’ All these guys run around the set yelling ‘where have you been, goomba?’ ‘How you feeling, goomba?’ Or ‘where’s the action at, goomba?’ Barney said.

“Okay, I get the picture… pun intended. But ‘action’ is our word,” Ivan noted.

“No. When we say ‘action’ it means ‘action!’ When they say it, it means deals going on or down or being planned,” Barney said. “I’m going nuts with all these goombas’ action being only on our set!”

“Are you serious?” asked Ivan.

“Look boss, how can I be serious when I deal with women who have no last names,” Barney said.

“Come on. Don’t their babes or dolls have last names?” asked Ivan.

“No, and it’s another pain in the ass when I have to take attendance, not to mention paying them. Every other woman they bring down is Allegra, Andrea, Carmella or Lucetta,” Barney said.

“Don’t worry about the payroll. I told you I would figure something out with Stompanato. Most likely pay them by cash and file it under miscellaneous — our favorite accounting trick. Well, at least Allegra, Andrea, Carmella and Lucetta don’t ask to be called ‘Paulie,’” Ivan said.

“Not funny. I also have to deal with Joseph Anatuna. Know what he wants me to call him?” Barney asked Ivan.

“Of course not. What?”

“‘Lead Pipe Joe,’” Barney said.

“Introduce him to Alexei and don’t get on his bad side,” warned Ivan.

“Better yet, I’m making sure all the pipes are copper and not steel around here,” Barney said with a laugh.

“Hey, you’re laughing. That means I’m doing something right,” Ivan said to Barney.

“Alexei said you made a lot of people laugh in our old country,” Barney said.

The old country… toughski shitski,
Ivan thought as he wondered what else the former Trotsky Number Seven was going to bitch about.

“Do you think I bitch too much boss?” Rumberg suddenly asked Ivan.

“You earned the right to bitch to me a very long time ago when I met you in the bathroom in Moscow,” Ivan said. “And yes, you do bitch too much.”

“Did I tell you what name I have to call Sam Hutch?” Barney asked Ivan.

“No, but I’m sure you will,” Ivan said.

“He wants me to call him ‘Tony Stiletto,’” Barney said. “I swear that all these guys got their hands on some old movie manuscripts to come up with these names.”

“Are you sure that you are right that these are not their stage names, but their nicknames?” Ivan said.

“Boss, these guys don’t have a clue what a stage name is. Their nicknames are more important to them than the names their mothers and fathers gave them,” Barney said. “Did I tell you what Jack Fraser’s nickname is?”

“Don’t. Let me guess… Paulie,” guessed Ivan.

“Wrong again. It’s ‘Vinnie the Thumb.’” Barney said.

“Okay. That’s enough…” Ivan said.

“No, just one more, then I can tell you what they do when they are not eating all the food and drinking all the booze,” Barney said.

“What booze?” Ivan said.

“Some Mafia big shot comes down every day and brings a lot of booze, poses for pictures and pinches everyone’s cheeks,” Barney said.

“I understand about the pictures, but the booze and the cheek pinching has to go,” Ivan said.