Tiny Pretty Things (44 page)

“Sei-Jin!” Jayhe silences her with a withering look, but he doesn’t come to my defense. I should have known he’d be here with Sei-Jin.

Furious, I take my plate and storm away, too exhausted to deal with her again. She wins. She can have him. He follows, his arm grazing mine as he tries to stop me, but I’m too angry to indulge him, too humiliated to give any of them the satisfaction. I walk out onto the terrace and sit at an empty table, picking at my plate. Jayhe follows and plunks down in the chair next to me. “I’ve missed you,” he says, whispering close to my ear.

I look up at him. “Oh yeah? So why haven’t you responded to my texts?” I ask, despite myself. I can feel the heat burning my cheeks.

“She knows,” he says, his voice still low. “I shouldn’t be out here at all.”

I rise, the anger billowing around me. “Then forget about me. Leave me alone. Go back to Sei-Jin and your cozy little relationship,” I say, practically spitting as I start to walk away. But he pulls me back, grabbing my arm, his grip tight, his familiarity making my skin flame. “Oh yeah,” I say, the hate changing my voice to something unrecognizable. “But I’d give you something she never will,” I say. “Too bad you can’t have it both ways.”

He’s so shocked he doesn’t stop me when I walk away this time. But Sei-Jin’s at the door of the terrace, watching us, a look of sheer terror on her face. “Don’t worry,” I say, the menace still tainting my voice. “I didn’t tell your secret. Not yet, anyway.”

Heading back into the party, I grab another flute of champagne, determined to drown all this out,
at least for tonight. I’m sick of second place, of always being the understudy. I need to do something about it, once and for all.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

..................................................................

ALEC GIVES ME A GLASS
of champagne, and we clink the glasses together. He kisses me.

“I have something for you,” he says. “It’ll make you feel better.”

I blush and try to put on a happy face, when really I feel like I’m falling down a giant hole and can’t stop. “What is it?” I try to sound excited. I should be excited. It’s a gift. He thought of me.

He pulls a necklace from his pocket. A tiny silver disk hangs from an antique chain. It catches the light. It’s beautiful. Even more beautiful than the little rose charm he gave me. The one that went missing months ago. The one I haven’t had the heart to tell him about.

“Alec,” I say, feeling all choked up, mostly from the sadness and having all these emotions I don’t know what to do with.

“It was my mom’s,” he says, turning me around. He lifts my curls and clasps the necklace on me and the cool metal is soothing against my neck. “My mother left this behind, and before that it was her grandmother’s necklace. I wanted you to have it.”

I press my fingers on it, feeling its enormous weight. “I don’t know what to say.” And I really don’t. I want to jump up into his arms and kiss him all over his face. But I can’t pull out that feeling inside me.

“Just wear it,” he says. “And smile.”

I kiss his cheek. My parents wave at me from across the room. I saw them earlier for brunch. They are brown dots in a sea of white. Aunt Leah’s hair is big and curly, but my mother’s is surprisingly pulled into a bun. “I want you to meet my parents,” I say, dragging him off.

He follows me as we move through the crowd, our hands clasped.

“Hey,” I say.

“That’s our girl,” my dad says, grabbing me first. I smell coffee and feel his beard rub against my cheek. His eyes are warm and brown, and he’s got on his one and only suit. Mama hugs me next and she smells like home—mango and incense. I’ve missed both of them, but loved living on my own. And their embraces make me feel like crying and pouring out everything that’s happened. But I
swallow it down. It would just alarm them. Give them cause to pull me out of school. As if they didn’t already think they had enough reason.

“Hey, kid,” my Aunt Leah says. “I’ve missed your face.” She holds my hand and squeezes it. “Can’t wait to see you in
Giselle,
Giselle!” She tries to make me laugh.

“I want you to meet someone.” I pull Alec to my side. “This is Alec.”

My dad sizes him up, and I see Alec swallow. Little beads of sweat collect on his brow, and he bites his lips, which I’ve never seen him do before. It’s kind of cute.

“Oh, is this the boy you kissed at the end of
The Nutcracker
?” Aunt Leah teases.

“Aunt Leah!” I say, feeling hot.

“Is that true?” my mother says, turning to Alec. He grins at her, and I know she’s probably going to love him as much as I do. “We were wondering about that.”

“It was the tiniest, most respectful kiss,” Alec teases.

“Well then . . .” She opens her arms and gives Alec a huge embrace.

When they part, my mama pulls me to the side while my dad speaks with Alec. “Why aren’t you wearing your monitor?” she asks. “And what’s wrong? I can see it all in your eyes.”

“Nothing, Mama. I’m fine. And so is my health. I’m not wearing my monitor because I’m not dancing right now,” I say. Her concern compiles with the stress I already feel.

She tsk-tsks. “I’m concerned, Gigi. I mean, I’m happy about all this and how well you’re doing, but I want you to not lose sight of what’s most important. Your health. This really worries me. And I feel like you’re hiding something,” she says, like she’s been burrowing in my mind, reading my thoughts.

“Aren’t you always worrying?” I ask, craning my neck to hear what my dad is saying to Alec. I give her a tiny kiss on the cheek and flash her an everything-is-all-right smile.

“Well, this is why I brought this!” She pulls out a thin wristband. It’s flat and resembles one of the bands you get at a theme park entrance, only it has a digital face. “It vibrates if you’re in a danger zone.”

I frown. “Mama!”

“Gigi, I need you to do this for me.” She takes my wrist, and I let her put it on. “My biggest nightmare is that you don’t take this whole thing seriously. That you push yourself too hard. I was holding my breath the whole time during
The Nutcracker
, and I know I’ll be doing the same for
Giselle
. Scared that it will be too much exertion.”

“I’m fine,” I say, trying to ease back to Alec and dad and Aunt Leah.

“Just wear it for me. It’ll put my mind at ease.” She kisses my forehead and rubs my cheek. “You look beautiful. I can see the changes in you. A real ballerina.” Her face is warm with delight and approval.

I put it on my wrist. “Happy?”

She smiles. We return to the conversation. Nothing about that exchange made me feel any better. Mama takes hold of my dad’s hand.

“And what’s that beautiful necklace you’re wearing?” Aunt Leah asks.

I show off Alec’s family heirloom. My dad twirls me around a little and I catch Bette’s icy gaze on us. And the gaze of the woman standing next to her with her same cheekbones and upright posture. Mrs. Abney, her mother. Any momentary lift I experienced disappears.

I freeze and then quickly turn around. My hand goes to my neck and I feel a need to hide the necklace from sight. I try to continue to listen to my parents chat with Alec, but I feel the Abney’s eyes burning into my back. Will saunters up and gives me and Alec a big hug. But Alec is too distracted by my dad to talk to Will, who looks a little hurt.

Will pulls me to the side. “Just wanted to check on you. After, you know, everything. The butterflies.” His words land soft, but I feel the tears welling up inside me. How will I tell my dad about them? What am I supposed to say? The truth? He takes a glass of champagne from a waiter’s passing tray.

I mutter thanks. “I’m putting it all behind me.”

He touches my neck and the necklace Alec gave me. “You know he loves you, right?” He glances behind us at Alec.

I nod my head.

He doesn’t look at me anymore. “The way he loves you is the way I love him.” His admission makes me feel instantly sadder. I wonder if Alec knows. I open my mouth to respond, but I’m empty.

Will must see that on my face, because he touches the necklace one last time. “So pretty. Be careful.” Then he bolts without waiting around for a response, anyway.

Bette walks by my parents. My stomach twists with dread. I remember what Alec told me about her and her mama and all their issues. I hold my breath as she passes us by.

“Oh, Gigi, who’s that girl?” My mama points at Bette and reaches out for her. She touches her shoulder.

“Um, Mama, no!” I say too late.

“You were just lovely in
The Nutcracker
, young lady,” my mama says. “I didn’t get to tell you that after the show. I know it’s been months. But I thought you should know.”

“Why, thank you,” Bette answers politely, her big blue eyes looking doelike and sweet.

Alec shifts uncomfortably. I flatten my hand over the necklace. A long pause stretches between us all. Everyone says hi to her and I know I should’ve introduced her more quickly.

“Mama, Dad, Aunt Leah, this is Bette Abney,” I say at last.

“Gigi’s one of our best dancers,” Bette blurts, and they all soak up her praise. “So glad you could come all the way out here from California to see our performance.”

Her compliment feels genuine, but she’s as fake as a plastic doll.

“We wouldn’t have missed it,” my dad boasts, pulling me into another embrace.

“You look like a ballerina from a music box,” my mama says, touching Bette’s arm.

“Doesn’t she?”

Bette squeezes my mama’s hand and acts as if they’ve known each other forever. My mama has
just called her perfect.

“I’m so glad you’ve got friends out here, Gigi,” my mama says, leaning over to kiss my forehead. “It was one of my other worries. Now I don’t have to as much. Even though you know I will. But you’ve got both Alec and . . . what did you say your name was again, honey?” My mama turns to Bette.

“Bette,” she says, making her name sound light and airy.

“Oh, right, yes!” My mama touches my cheek, then hers. “Such pretty girls.”

Bette and I look at each other, both holding awkward grins on our faces.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE

HarperCollins Publishers

..................................................................

I KNOW THAT NECKLACE
IS
all I can think at first. Mr. Lucas and his wife know the necklace, too, of course, and I wonder if they’re thinking what I am: that the way it looks around Gigi’s neck is all wrong. It was supposed to hang around my neck, closer to my throat than my locket, but the same silver glint, the same delicate, antique links of the chain.

Gigi keeps running the tips of her fingers over the chain, back and forth. Fidgeting. A girl who fidgets should not be a prima ballerina. A girl who fidgets should not have the Lucas’s family heirloom or a place next to Alec. It looks all wrong, having her fill the space where I should be. I say good-bye to Gigi’s parents and try to hold in my rage as I head to the buffet table.

My mother swoops in next to me before I’m tempted to snatch a finger food. No Adele. No Eleanor. No June, even. Just my mother in her black gown and too-sparkly diamond earrings.

“You just let her take it all, huh?” she says in my ear.

I make fists with my hands and wonder why she didn’t bring flowers, why she didn’t give me a real hug, or wish me luck on our performance tomorrow, why she is thinking so intensely about Gigi and not at all about me.

I look back over at them—the perfect happy family—they’re all talking with Mr. K now. And Alec has barely left her side, like he’s some part of them now, and not part of me. He hasn’t even spoken to my mother tonight.

I’ve let my hair down from its bun, but I dressed like the ballerina I am instead of wearing regular people clothes. Long white tulle skirt and an embroidered bodice that hangs off my shoulders. Not a freckle in sight. Just a hint of sparkle I dusted on my collarbone and shoulders, and otherwise
snow-white, unblemished skin. That hasn’t changed. Neither has my almost-white hair, my pink lips, the way I hover an inch above my mother.