"And he was depressed the night before last?"
"It was more than depression. It was a combination of depression and the kind of hyperactive nervousness you can get on speed. I would have thought he had taken some amphetamines except I know how he feels about drugs. I had a period of drug use a few years ago and he made it pretty clear how he felt, so I didn't really believe he was on anything."
She drank some more coffee. No, there was no gun in her purse. This was a very open girl. If she had a gun she'd have used it immediately.
She said, "We had dinner in a Chinese restaurant in the neighborhood. That's the Upper West Side, that's where I live. He hardly touched his food. I was very hungry myself, but I kept picking up his vibrations and I wound up not eating very much either. His conversation kept rambling all over the place.
He was very concerned about me. He asked several times if I ever used drugs any more. I don't, and I told him so. He asked about my classes, if I was happy with my coursework and if I felt I was on the right track so far as how I would be earning a living. He asked if I was involved with anybody romantically, and I said I wasn't, nothing serious. And then he asked me if I knew you."
"He did?"
"Yes. I said the only Scudder I knew was the Scudder Falls Bridge. He asked if I had ever been to your
hotel--he named the hotel and asked if I had been there--and I said I hadn't.
He said that was where you lived. I didn't really understand what he was driving at."
"Neither do I."
"He asked if I ever saw a man spin a silver dollar. He took a quarter and spun it on the top of the table and asked if I had ever seen a man do that with a silver dollar. I said no, and I asked him if he was feeling all right. He said he was fine, and that it was very important that I shouldn't worry about him. He said if anything happened to him that I would be all right and not to worry."
"Which made you more concerned than ever."
"Of course. I was afraid... I was afraid of all kinds of things, and scared even to think of them. Like I thought he might have been to the doctor and found out there was something wrong with him. But I called the doctor he always goes to, I did that last night, and he hadn't been there since his annual physical last November, and there was nothing wrong with him then except slightly high blood pressure. Of course, maybe he went to some other doctor, there's no way of knowing unless it shows up in the autopsy. They have to do an autopsy in cases like this. Mr. Scudder?"
I looked at her.
"When they called me, when I found out he had killed himself, I wasn't surprised."
"You expected it?"
"Not consciously. I didn't really expect it, but once I heard, it all seemed to fit. In some way or other, I guess I knew he was trying to tell me he was going to die, trying to tie off the ends before he did it. But I don't know why he did it. And then I heard that you were there when he did it, and I remembered his asking me about you, if I knew you, and I wondered how you fit into it all. I thought maybe there was some problem in his life and you were investigating it for him, because the policeman said you were a detective, and I wondered... I just don't understand what it was all about."
"I can't imagine why he mentioned my name."
"You really weren't working for him?"
"No, and I hadn't had very much contact with him, it was just a superficial matter of confirming another man's references."
"Then it doesn't make sense."
I considered. "We did talk for a while last week," I said. "I suppose it's possible something I said seemed to have a special impact on his thinking. I can't imagine what it might have been, but we had one of those rambling conversations, and he might have picked up on something without my noticing it."
"I suppose that would have to be the explanation."
"I can't conceive of anything else."
"And then, whatever it was, it stayed on his mind. So he brought up your name because he couldn't bring himself to mention what it was that you said, or what it meant to him. And then when his secretary said you were there it must have sort of triggered things in his mind. Triggered. That's an interesting choice of word, isn't it?"
It had triggered things, the girl's announcing my presence. There was no question about it.
"I can't make anything out of the silver dollar. Unless it's the song. 'You can spin a silver dollar on a barroom floor and it'll roll because it's round.' What's the next line? Something about a woman never knows what a good man she has until she loses him, something like that. Maybe he meant he was losing everything now, I don't know. I guess his mind, I guess it wasn't terribly clear at the end."
"He must have been under a strain."
"I guess so." She looked away for a moment. "Did he ever say anything to you about me?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
I pretended to concentrate, then said I was sure.
"I just hope he realized that everything's all right with me now. That's all. If he had to die, if he thought he had to die, I at least hope he knew I'm okay."
"I'm sure he did."
She'd been going through a lot since they called her and told her. Longer than that: since that dinner at the Chinese place. And she was going through plenty now. But she wasn't going to cry. She wasn't a crier. She was a strong one. If he'd had half her strength, he wouldn't have had to kill himself. He would have told Spinner to go screw himself in the first place, and he wouldn't have paid blackmail money, wouldn't have killed once, wouldn't have had to try to kill a second time.
She was stronger than he had been. I don't know how much pride you can take in that kind of strength. You either have it or you don't.
I said, "So that was the last time you saw him. At the Chinese restaurant."
"Well, he walked me back to my apartment. Then he drove home."
"What time was that? That he left your place."
"I don't know. Probably around ten or ten thirty, maybe a little later. Why do you ask?"
I shrugged. "No reason. Call it habit. I was a cop for a lot of years. When a cop runs out of things to say, he finds himself asking questions. It hardly matters what the questions are."
"That's interesting. A kind of a learned reflex."
"I suppose that's the term for it."
She drew a breath. "Well," she said. "I want to thank you for meeting with me. I wasted your time--"
"I have plenty of time. I don't mind wasting some of it now and then."
"I just wanted to learn whatever I could about... about him. I thought there might be something, that he would have had some last message for me. A note, or a letter he might have mailed. I guess it's part of not really believing he's dead, that I can't believe I'll never hear from him one way or the other. I thought--well, thank you, anyway."
I didn't want her to thank me. She had no reason on earth to thank me.
AN hour or so later, I reached Beverly Ethridge. I told her I had to see her.
"I thought I had until Tuesday. Remember?"
"I want to see you tonight."
"Tonight's impossible. And I don't have the money yet, and you agreed to give me a week."
"It's something else."
"What?"
"Not over the phone."
"Jesus," she said. "Tonight is absolutely impossible, Matt. I have an engagement."
"I thought Kermit was out playing golf."
"That doesn't mean I sit home alone."
"I can believe that."
"You really are a bastard, aren't you? I was invited to a party. A perfectly respectable party, the kind where you keep your clothes on. I could meet you tomorrow if it's absolutely necessary."
"It is."
"Where and when?"
"How about Polly's? Say around eight o'clock."
"Polly's Cage. It's a little tacky, isn't it?"
"A little," I agreed.
"And so am I, huh?"
"I didn't say that."
"No, you're always the perfect gentleman. Eight o'clock at Polly's. I'll be there."
I could have told her to relax, that the ball game was over, instead of letting her spend another day under pressure. But I figured she could handle the pressure.
And I wanted to see her face when I let her off the hook. I don't know why. Maybe it was the particular kind of spark we struck off each other, but I wanted to be there when she found out that she was home free.
Huysendahl and I didn't strike those sparks. I tried him at his office and couldn't reach him, and on a hunch I tried him at home. He wasn't there, but I managed to talk to his wife. I left a message that I would be at his office at two the next afternoon and that I would call again in the morning to confirm the appointment.
"And one other thing," I said. "Please tell him that he has absolutely nothing to worry about. Tell him everything's all right now and everything will work out fine."
"And he'll know what that means?"
"He'll know," I said.
I napped for a while, had a late bite at the French place down the block, then went back to my room and read for a while. I came very close to making an early night of it, but around eleven my room started to feel a little bit more like a monastic cell than it generally does. I'd been reading The Lives of the Saints, which may have had something to do with it.
Outside it was trying to make up its mind to rain. The jury was still out. I went around the corner to Armstrong's. Trina gave me a smile and brought me a drink.
I was only there for an hour or so. I did quite a bit of thinking about Stacy Prager, and even more about her father. I liked myself a little less now that I'd met the girl. On the other hand, I had to agree with what Trina had suggested the night before. He had indeed had the right to pick that way out of his trouble, and now at least his daughter was spared the knowledge that her father had killed a man. The fact of his death was horrible, but I could not easily construct a scenario which would have worked out better.
When I asked for the check Trina brought it over and perched on the edge of my table while I counted out bills. "You're looking a little cheerier," she said.
"Am I?"
"Little bit."
"Well, I had the best night's sleep I've had in a while."
"Is that so? So did I, strangely enough."
"Good."
"Quite a coincidence, wouldn't you say?"
"Hell of a coincidence."
"Which proves there are better sleeping aids than Seconal."
"You've got to use them sparingly, though."
"Or you get hooked on them?"
"Something like that."
A guy two tables away was trying to get her attention. She gave him a look, then turned back to me. She said, "I don't think it'll ever get to be a habit. You're too old and I'm too young and you're too withdrawn and I'm too unstable and we're both generally weird."
"No argument."
"But once in a while can't hurt, can it?"
"No."
"It's even kinda nice."
I took her hand and gave it a squeeze. She grinned quickly, scooped up my money, and went off to find out what the pest two tables down wanted. I sat there watching her for a moment, then got up and went out the door.
It was raining now, a cold rain with a nasty wind behind it. The wind was blowing uptown and I was walking downtown, which didn't make me particularly happy. I hesitated, wondering if I ought to go back inside for one more drink and give it a chance for the worst of it to blow over. I decided it wasn't worth it.
So I started walking toward Fifty-seventh Street, and I saw the old beggarwoman in the doorway of Sartor Resartus. I didn't know whether to applaud her industry or worry about her; she wasn't usually out on nights like this. But it had been clear until recently, so I decided she must have taken her post and then found herself caught in the rain.
I kept walking, reaching into my pocket for change. I hoped she wouldn't be disappointed, but she couldn't expect ten dollars from me every night. Only when she saved my life.
I had the coins ready, and she came out of the doorway as I reached it. But it wasn't the old woman.
It was the Marlboro man, and he had a knife in his hand.
Chapter 15
He came at me in a rush, the knife held underhand and arcing upward, and if it hadn't been raining he would have had me cold. But I got a break. He lost his footing on the wet pavement and had to check the knife thrust in order to regain his balance, and that gave me time to react enough to duck back from him and set myself for his next try.
I didn't have to wait long. I was up on the balls of my feet, arms loose at my sides, a tingling sensation in my hands and a pulse working in my temple. He rocked from side to side, his broad shoulders hinting and feinting, and then he came at me. I'd been watching his feet and I was ready. I dodged to the left, pivoted, threw a foot at his kneecap. And missed, but bounced back and squared off again before he could set himself for another lunge.
He began circling to his left, circling like a prizefighter stalking an opponent, and when he'd completed a half circle and had his back to the street, I figured out why. He wanted to corner me so that I couldn't make a run for it.
He needn't have bothered. He was young and trim and athletic and outdoorsy. I was too old and carried too much weight, and for too many years the only exercise I had got was bending my elbow. If I tried to run, all I'd manage to do would be to give him my back for a target.
He leaned forward and began transferring the knife from hand to hand. That looks good in the movies, but a really good man with a knife doesn't waste his time that way. Very few people are really ambidextrous. He had started off with the knife in his right hand, and I knew it would be in his right hand when he made his next pass, so all he did with his hand-to-hand routine was give me breathing space and let me tune in on his timing.