Read Thursday the Rabbi Walked Out Online

Authors: Harry Kemelman

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #World Literature, #Jewish, #Mystery; Thriller & Suspense, #Thrillers & Suspense, #Crime, #Crime Fiction

Thursday the Rabbi Walked Out (20 page)

“He was a dirty old man, that’s what he was.” She smiled sourly. “I don’t know if he was anti-Semitic or not, all I know is that he kept making passes at me and he knew I was Jewish.”

“He did? What kind of –”

“Oh, you know, the usual accidental-on-purpose pat on the fanny.”

“And didn’t you ever tell your boss?”

“I mentioned it once, but he was so upset, I thought I’d handle it myself.”

“What did you do?”

“Oh, the next time he did it. I was prepared for him. Instead of kind of jumping the way you naturally would, I didn’t move, but I gave him a sharp jab with my elbow.”

“And what did he do?”

She laughed.” He jumped – and had a coughing fit.” She munched on her sandwich, and then asked, “Why are you so interested in Jordon?”

“Well –” Mrs. Kaufman glanced up at the angled mirror on the wall which gave her a view of the front door. “This morning I was sitting right here, working like always, the door opened and I looked up and saw it was these two old biddies who keep coming in and never buying anything. So I didn’t hurry to come out. I could hear them talking, though, and one of them said that everybody knew it was the Jews that did it because he was ‘so down on them.’ That was the expression she used, that he had tried to arrange a secret agreement not to sell them property on the Point and that’s why they did it, then I coughed, or cleared my throat, and I suppose they realized that if they could hear me. I might be able to hear them because I saw in the mirror one of them put her finger to her lips and nod toward the shop here.”

“Hm, that’s interesting. So what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.” said Mrs. Kaufman. “After a while. I came out. One of them asked if she could see a certain piece I had in the showcase, and I told her it was already sold and the customer was coming in tomorrow to pick it up. Maybe they sensed they weren’t welcome, anyway, they didn’t ask to see anything else, they left, and then I called you.”

“You bothered?” asked Molly. “A little.,” Anne admitted.

“You can’t get upset over everything that people say;” Molly said, trying to reassure her.

“But if they’re saying it, maybe others are, too.”

“So what can we do?”

“I think we ought to do something,” Anne insisted. “Maybe the rabbi could –”

“Rabbi Small? You think you’ll get him off his duff to take action on anything?”

“Well –”

“Listen, Anne, don’t expect Rabbi Small to do a damn thing about anything, he actually said so when Henry Maltzman came to see him about equality for women in the service, according to him, one change produces other changes, and some of them could be bad, so he wasn’t going to take any chances. Now I ask you.”

“Well, that has to do with religion, but this is a matter of – of –”

“Of law? Of politics? All right. Last week, the selectmen voted to reconsider their approval of traffic lights near the temple. Come to think of it, that was some of Ellsworth Jordon’s dirty work, well, did Rabbi Small do anything about it? Did he so much as write a letter to the press protesting the action of the selectmen?”

“You don’t know, he may have done something, or –”

Molly’s eyes danced with amusement. “Oh, you think maybe it was Rabbi Small who killed Jordon?”

“Molly! What a thing to say! I mean, he might have spoken to the selectmen, or is planning to.”

Molly shook her head. “If it’s action you’re looking for, don’t expect it from Rabbi Small, we’ve got to make up our mind to that, he’s good at telling us all the things we can’t do, and what the Talmud says about it, but when it comes to taking positive action, forget it.”

“Then what can we do?”

“Get another rabbi.” said Molly promptly.

“How? And how can you be sure the next one will be any better?”

“We won’t take one unless he has a proven track record, as to how –” Molly then proceeded to explain Maltzman’s plan.

They discussed it at length, Anne raised objections, pointed out problems and difficulties. But when Molly left and returned to her office, she was able to phone Maltzman that her friend had agreed.

Chapter Thirty-Six

“He’s on Children’s Island, said Chief Lanigan. “What’s your business with him?”

“What’s he doing on the island?” asked Rabbi Small.

“Living there. Working there, the first night he came back, he slept in one of the cells right here at the stationhouse. But I couldn’t have him stay on where he hasn’t been charged, and I couldn’t have him go back to Jordon’s house, even if he had wanted to, we’ve got the house sealed up, he didn’t want to go back to working in the bank just yet. Thought he might be pestered by people asking him a lot of questions, then I thought of the Hegerrys, they live on the island until about Thanksgiving, fixing up, painting, putting up shutters on the cabins against the winter, they can use any help they can get. So I put it up to them, and the boy seemed willing, even interested, so it was arranged.”

“What’s his status? He’s not under arrest –”

“No, he hasn’t been charged, the D.A, doesn’t think we have any real evidence against him. On the other hand, we do want him around for a while. This seems an ideal arrangement.”

“Does he have a lawyer? Has his mother been notified?”

“What’s he need a lawyer for? He hasn’t been charged. I tell you, as for his mother, he doesn’t want her to know. Thinks she might come running home, if she did, well, he’s eighteen, so he’s of age, so –”

“How can I get to see him?” asked the rabbi.

Lanigan smiled, he titled back in his chair and interlaced his fingers over his belly. “Well, if you had a boat, I suppose you could row out there. Or you could hire somebody to take you out there in a launch. Or I could have the police harbor boat take you out there. But I doubt if I would since I don’t rightly see that you have any concern in the matter.”

Rabbi Small related the gist of his conversation with Ben Segal. “So, since his mother is Jewish, the boy is Jewish, and as the only rabbi in town –”

“Doesn’t it depend on the father?”

“With us, it’s the mother,” said the rabbi.

“Do you know the father?” The rabbi shook his head.

Lanigan smiled. “Suppose I told you it was Ellsworth Jordon?”

If he expected to shock the rabbi with the revelation, he was disappointed. “It explains how he happened to be living there, doesn’t it? It doesn’t surprise me too much.”

“It might explain Jordon’s anti-Semitism.” mused Lanigan. “I mean, if he were very much in love with this Hester Grimes, or Esther Green, and she turned him down.”

“On the other hand.” the rabbi suggested, “she might have turned him down because he was anti-Semitic.”

“Also possible.” Lanigan admitted. “You might be interested to know that Jordon was planning on making Billy his heir.”

“The young man told you this?”

“No, I got that from Jordon’s lawyer, according to Billy, Jordon was just an old friend of the family. Either ha doesn’t know Jordon was his father or he isn’t saying.” He eyed the rabbi speculatively. “If you see him, will you tell him?”

The rabbi’s face was bland as he asked, “Are you hinting that you’d like me to?”

Lanigan showed vast unconcern. “It might be interesting.”

The rabbi smiled and shook his head. “That’s for his mother to do if she wants to. If she’s kept his paternity secret all these years, she presumably had reason, and it’s not for me to come blundering in. No, I just want to talk to him.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s my job,” the rabbi answered promptly. “He’s alone, without family or friends, and he’s in trouble. I –”

“What makes you think he’s in trouble? He hasn’t been charged.”

“Because you said there wasn’t any real evidence against him. But that suggests that he is a suspect, and while you don’t have evidence now, you are probably looking for it, and –”

“We’re looking for all kinds of evidence.” objected Lanigan. “No matter which way it points.”

“Sure, and if you find any that points his way, the district attorney will charge him, and since it’s murder, he’ll go to jail while his court-appointed lawyer, an overworked public defender, gets a series of postponements in an effort to find time to prepare his defense, and in the meantime, the boy will be in jail, all I’m asking for is the chance to see him and talk to him and get to know him. Even more, to get him to know me, so that if anything untoward happens, he can call on me and, through me, on the Jewish community here, anything wrong with that? Now, how do I go about hiring a launch?”

“Oh hell, I’ll have the police launch take you out.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

“I don’t think I’ve ever met a rabbi before,” said Billy, then with some concern. “Did you come out so that you could pray for me?”

They were sitting on the porch of one of the camp cabins, he sat on the top step, his back against the newel-post, dressed in stained coveralls several sizes too big for him, while the rabbi sat on the railing, the collar of his topcoat turned up against the breeze coming from the water.

“I hadn’t planned to.” said Rabbi Small, looking off toward the tiny dock against which the police harbor boat that had brought him bumped gently with every wave, the policeman who operated the craft, in a heavy turtleneck sweater, instead of his uniform blouse, lay on his back on the dock, his cap over his face, basking in the rays of the afternoon sun, he rolled over and waved to the rabbi, who waved back, he turned to face the young man again. “Of course, if you’d like me to –”

“Oh no. I mean. I don’t care if you do or not.” Then lest he appear ungracious, he said. “I mean that if you came out here to pray for me, it would mean that I was in trouble, wouldn’t it? Am I?”

“I don’t know.” said the rabbi. “I came because I heard you were a Jew, and I’m the rabbi here.”

“Oh, but I’m not that kind of Jew.”

“No? What kind are you?”

“Well, I’m one because my mother is. You know, it’s what you’re born. My mother’s agent, Sol Katz, he’s always talking about ‘We Jews,’ so I asked my mother and she explained that there were two kinds – like Sol, who believed in the Jewish religion, and like us who didn’t believe in it but were Jews because we happened to be born Jews. But we were really just Americans, that’s right, isn’t it?”

“It’s one way of looking at it,” the rabbi admitted. “Is that what Mr. Jordon thought, too?”

“Oh, we never talked about anything like that.”

“No? What did you talk about?”

The young man laughed. “Money, mostly, he was always talking about stocks and bonds and how you figure out if they’re good stocks to buy, you know, by the financial statement, and land, and houses, and how you go about buying what’s going to increase in value. His idea was that money was important because if you had enough of it, you could be independent, and if you were independent, you could say anything that came into your mind, and if you could say anything, you could think anything –”

“Surely, it was the other way around, wasn’t it?”

“No.” Billy insisted. “That’s the way he put it. If you felt you could say anything, then you could think any way you wanted to. But if you didn’t feel you could say whatever came into your head, then you tended not to think of things.”

“I see, and did you like him?”

“Sure I liked him, and I think he liked me. Course, he didn’t ever say so, because – well, because that kind of thing he wouldn’t say to your face.” He canted his head to one side as he considered. “He was a funny kind of guy. Sometimes he’d seem awfully mean, but you couldn’t tell. Like, he’d say nasty things to Martha sometimes, and she’d flare back at him, and he’d just laugh, afterward, he would explain that he did it to let her know she was like part of the family, and not just a servant. You understand?”

“I think so.”

“Some things he was very particular about.” the young man went on. “like time, for instance, because he said each person had just so much of it and no more, he had this clock on the mantelpiece in the living room, and he’d check it by the radio time signals every day, and if you were late to dinner, say, even if it was only a couple of minutes, he’d glare at you and point at it without saying a word. But you could see he was angry.

“And money. Down to the last penny. Like Martha did the shopping, he’d give her money, and then at the end of the week, she’d give him the tapes from the supermarket, or the other stores, and whatever money was left, and if she was short, even if it was only like three cents, he’d tell her and make her give it to him, and once, when it was the other way, and he didn’t happen to have any change on him, she said it was all right, and that made him angry, he said. ‘It’s not all right,’ and went off to his bedroom and fished in his bureau drawer and got the necessary few coins.”

“What did he call you?” asked the rabbi.

“He called me Billy mostly. But sometimes when he was a little annoyed with me, he’d call me Sir.”

“And when he was greatly annoyed with you?” asked the rabbi, smiling.

“Then he didn’t call me anything.” said the young man promptly. “He just didn’t talk to me. Of course, when he got real wrathy, he’d send me to my room, and if it below his mind, like – like the other night, he’d lock me in.”

“And how did you feel about that?”

“Well, the first time it happened, it was because I hadn’t written to my mother, and he’d promised her I would, he got all red and worked up and I was afraid he might have a heart attack, he had heart trouble, you know. So I just went into my room. But I was real kind of upset, being treated like a little kid like that. So I thought, what the hell – oh. I’m sorry.”

“That’s all right.” the rabbi said. “Everybody uses the expression these days.”

“Well, anyway, I thought, why should I stay here? So I just raised the window and split. See, I promised Mr. Gore I’d help him with his silver stuff, and I didn’t want to disappoint him, and I came back the same way, but if he heard me, he didn’t let on, then before he went to bed. I heard him turning the key in the lock. So that meant he knew I’d been out, and the next morning it was as though nothing happened, and that’s the way it was every time after that.” He began to laugh. “Once he kept me locked up for three days, and I went to the bank every day through the window, he even came into the bank one day, and of course he saw me, but he acted as though I wasn’t there.” He laughed again, joyously. “That was real funny. I’d get home from the bank, and there was my dinner in my room. See, it was like a game between us. I figured out, he couldn’t hit me, or withhold my allowance, or anything like that, and I guess he was afraid to yell at me, maybe on account of his heart, or maybe because it might lead to a real fight where we’d say things that – well, that we’d be sorry for.”

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