Thunder In Her Body (12 page)

Lynette took her time drying her hair while she sat on the wicker stool.  Occasionally she put the towel down on her lap and just stared into space. What had she found here in this little resort town in New Mexico?  Was it the love she’d longed for all her adult years, or was this just a passionate weekend fling?  Hopping into bed with a rank stranger was totally out of character for her.  She’d been reasonably conservative in her behavior most of her life and if nothing else, she had respect for her person.  Instinct told her that this was more than a fleeting fling – a one night or one weekend fling.  They’d connected across a crowded restaurant lobby.  There were dozens of other people there, but it was with her that he connected.  It was the eyes, the windows to the soul, and he knew hers.  Somehow he knew hers.  When he sat across the dinner table from her, she was receiving something from him; something intangible. And he was scanning her like a secret software program, looking and listening for irregularities.  Had they known each other in a previous life?  Were these two estranged searching souls finally reuniting with one another?  Was it really chemistry, or just two horny people thinking that each could fill a temporary void for the other?  What was it?  The strong, almost overwhelming attraction was instantaneous, of that she was sure! Without hesitation, they’d each divested themselves of personal facades.  She was so entranced by this man, and so aroused, that she acted like a slut on the dance floor of a third-rate bar.  He held her in a way that said he wanted her, then and there, but he indicated more.  Had she been alone, she’d have thrown caution to the wind.  He was the one that wanted to see her again the next day.  And yet, there was nothing about his demeanor that said he was a sly, “player.”  Yes, he was practiced, there was no doubt, but he seemed earnest, and honest.  He was friendly and fun; possessed of gentlemanliness and patience; he was intuitive and understanding.  Highly intelligent, educated and worldly, she didn’t want to think of him as the “gifted” Indian with special powers and instincts, but maybe he was.  There was a calmness in his demeanor, borne of strength and pain.  The kind one would associate with someone who had faced terrible trials, even death and come out of it whole.  It was a calmness that made her calm. In spite of, or maybe because of, the passionate side of his nature, he was comfortable with all of himself.  Whatever he was or whoever he was, he walked in comfort with himself.  And what did he ask her when he kissed her that first time?  “What is this?”  He was already soliciting an answer to what she now asked -  What is this?  And why has it come at us with such immediacy?  Is this the beginning of the love I always wanted - needed?  Deserved! –she asked herself.

Lynette slipped up onto the kitchen bar stool and watched Blaze as he searched around in the upper cabinet for some soup.  His towel was tucked expertly around his firm waist.  She noticed that he was perfectly proportioned for a man of his size.  He wasn’t overly heavy, yet neither was he of slight build.  He was just right!  He poured a large can of soup into a small sauce pan, added some water and turned the electric burner on low.

“Want crackers with your soup?” he asked with a smile.

“Sure,” she said, just so content to be in the same room with him.

She would have drunk the soup from his open palms if he’d asked at this poin
t! 
Girl, what the hell’s wrong with you, the question circled in her mind. 
Never, in all of her experiences had she been so captivated by a man.  Blaze walked around the kitchen island and positioned his hips between her knees.  Lynette adjusted her thighs outward to accommodate the width of his pelvis.

“You know, this is just about the right height,” he said naughtily.  He spread open the bulky blue bathrobe from the belted waist exposing her thighs and began to rub the insides of them.  Reaching under his towel, he pulled himself forward so that his mild tumescence lay on one of them.  He moved back and forth letting his skin rub on hers. Then he put his arms around her shoulders and hugged her.

“You know, we’re gonna have to do something about this barrier between us, don’t you,” he said as a statement not a question.  “A committed couple doesn’t need anything between them – you know what I mean?” he asked pointedly.  She knew what he meant.  In the decade of the 2000s, wise people don’t just jump into bed without practicing safer sex.  Having to use a condom, though practical for most people, shouldn’t be necessary for a committed couple unless there is a medical issue.

A committed couple? 
A committed couple!!
  He used the word
committed!

Were they already there?  Had they, in the better part of two days, skipped past the
hellos,
the what ifs, the maybes, the
let’s think about its?
  Did he already know what he wanted from her?  Did they already want to be committed to a monogamous relationship?  None of that had crossed Lynette’s mind.  She’d been so caught up in the sexual urgency between them, that she hadn’t thought about the tomorrows, but evidently he had.  Somehow he had moved them from a state of transitional introduction to commitment!  Did she even know enough about him to want to be his committed lover?  She asked herself, as if someone was interrogating her, if she was ready to complicate her life with the needs of a man?  Her life would change if she walked into this relationship.  She didn’t want it to change.  Her life was comfortable, manageable, controlled – safe.  She liked it that way.  She’d fought to get it that way.  Relationships took work, hard work.  Did she want to do the necessary work again?  And besides, there was mileage and distance between this place and where she lived.  Long distance affairs were a pain, tiresome; fraught with misunderstandings, demands and confusion.  “
Been there, done that, didn’t like it
,” she said to herself.  What he was asking of her didn’t make sense, at least not at this juncture.

There was a void in her thoughts, when she didn’t think anything, she just let herself
feel
.  It was something she’d learned to do through meditation.  Just feel.  Be in the moment. Be present.  How did she feel in the innermost recesses of her being? Her mind was quiet – listening to her spirit.  In the Hebrew language she’d been told that the word spirit meant breath, so she was quiet, listening, breathing.  This felt good; uncannily, it felt right.  Blaze moved forward confidently, apparently certain that he wanted to invest in a serious relationship with her.  From somewhere deep inside her reasoning-self, she knew that what he apparently wanted from her, she could give him, and it made the decision easier for her. Yes, she thought she could step into a committed relationship with this new and wonderful man.  She would take that chance.  She knew that anything she decided on this day she could un-decide later if it didn’t meet her needs.  He was, so far, everything she once prayed her lifetime partner would be, and he was the most powerful lover she’d ever had.  There was no one else in her life.  And, this would be in keeping with her standards – only one man at a time.  Yes, she would consent to be his committed lover.  Believing now in her instincts; trusting herself to willingly take this journey with him to wherever it led, she could relax and say yes.

“You’re right.  I know exactly what you mean,” she finally said.

“I can tell you that I haven’t been with another man in five years, but that doesn’t mean that I’m for sure safe,” she admitted.  “Troublesome diseases have a way of masking themselves and appearing years later.”

“Five years,” he repeated, looking down into her face with a frown and a question on his brow.  “Why?”

“It gets complicated, Blaze.  Lack of opportunity, disillusionment over the last relationship, job demands, there’re a lot of reasons,” she said a bit sadly, rubbing his warm, golden chest.  “You need to know that I just recently lost a lot of weight.  That’s why I was scrutinizing myself in the bathroom mirror.  I wasn’t sure if you’d like what you were going to see and touch.  I’m not some skinny, hard-body.  I’m a woman who filled the holes in her heart with food for many years, and now, at this age, in some ways I have to pay the price.”

His words came out slowly, measured.  “I like everything I see.  I like everything I feel.  I like the way you touch me.  I like the way you sound, the way you taste.  I absolutely adore that unfettered side of you – the wildness that you keep just below the surface.
I love the way you surrender yourself to me when we make love.  That wasn’t just sex last night, Lynette, we made love.  I like everything about you Lynette Trudeaux,” he said without equivocation.  “I hope you can learn to feel the same way about me; I want you to feel the same way about me.  I’m a good man Lynette, and I think I’m worthy of someone as special as you,” he said with both pride and humility.  “We’ve found something here, something extraordinary.  If I live a thousand years, I won’t be able to explain it.  But it’s happened.  You’ve taken over my mind.  You’re all I can think about and you’re everything I want and need.  Do you have any idea what you already mean to me?” he asked very sincerely, clutching her tightly against his chest.  He moved his hips back and forth between her thighs careful not to go too far.   He kissed her tenderly on the forehead.  He kissed her on her neck.  He laid his head on her shoulder, and kissed her there too.  She wanted to answer him, but she couldn’t find the words.  This was all so fast.  She was totally enamored by him, drawn to him in a way that would take a long time to understand – she was open to his every need, of that she was sure.  Totally in touch with her practical self, she admitted that she wanted to be with him.  There was an issue of trust; her issue from years of broken promises and pain. Somehow, intuitively, she knew she could allow herself to trust him with her heart. He seemed to make everything beautiful and right.  Now that she thought seriously about it – if life didn’t throw them a dirty curve, she wanted to feel this way, to be with him, maybe, just maybe, for the rest of her life.  In less than two days her world was changing, and this could mean forever!  He began to speak again which jarred her out of her deep contemplation.

“I can go to the Indian Agency clinic in the morning, or sometime during the day and get tested.  I wanna do this for you.  No, that’s not completely true.  I want to do it for us.  It’ll still take about a week to get the results back, he said wrinkling his nose.” He paused for a second and laughed down in his throat.   “Do you think a case of condoms will hold us until the results come back?” he continued to laugh, in a lewd but appealing way.

“Oooww, bad man, bad man that you are,” she teased as she gently bit his shoulder.

“There’s a health department clinic down on
Main Road for you, if you want to, unless you’d rather go to a private doctor,” he said hesitantly, looking down at her for a reaction. “I know a good family practice physician in the village,” he added.

“Sure, I will,” she replied. “The clinic results may come back faster.  I have good health insurance, and if necessary I’ll just do a private pay.  That’s no problem,” she replied.  “I want you to be sure.  No doubts about anything,” she uttered, astounded by the rapid development of their relationship.  It amazed her how easy it was to talk about this very important subject.  There was no embarrassment, no coy beating around the bush.  They were grown, modern, intelligent, educated people.  And they both wanted to take advantage of their new gifts - in every way.

“Ordinarily, I would have no right to ask, but since we’re moving like an avalanche down a mountainside into this new phase, are you in any kind of even quasi-relationship right now?  I mean, do you have any unfinished business with another woman?” Lynette asked, looking him squarely in his face. “We’re talking monogamy.  That has real meaning for me.  I’m free to make that promise to you but are you…?” she asked seriously.

He laughed, “Noooo, Baby.  Haven’t been in a relationship for probably over a year now.  Because you have the right to know, I’ve only been to bed with a couple of women in that time and the last time was almost six months ago,” he said honestly, “and believe me, I was careful.”

“I didn’t…I mean I don’t…” she stammered.

“Yes you do need to know, Lynn,” because I’ve got a strong feeling that from this day forward we’re going to see many sunsets together, or as we Injuns say, many moons,” he laughed, and brushed her soft, frizzy hair back from her face.  He placed his lips on hers and spoke into her mouth as he kissed her and talked at the same time.

“I’m serious Lynn.  I’m serious about you.  I want you now.  I want you forever.  Take this journey with me.  I’ll walk beside you step by step.  I’ll be there for you in every possible way, and I’ll never disappoint you,” he said softly as he kissed her tenderly.

“I’ll never disappoint you,” he repeated as if it were a solemn vow.

He continued to just hug her.  It was so good to be held that way.  She’d had to be the rock on which so many leaned for as long as she could remember – she nurtured everyone else.  No one nurtured her.  “I know all this has come at us pretty damned fast from where we were just two nights ago. But we’re not love-struck teenagers, Lynn.  We both have some mileage on us and experience teaches us to listen to our deepest instincts.  My instincts are screaming at me Lynette. 
Take her; make her your own.  She’ll make you happy.
I know what I want in my life, and I suspect you do too.  Are we what we both want, that’s the question?” he asked.  He paused, hugging her up even closer to himself.  His voice was soft and filled with emotion, “I can say yes, can you?”