Through the Windshield Glass (15 page)

She was visibly
surprised and chewed emphatically before swallowing. I was glad she at least
knew how to do that; I wasn't sure how I could have taught her how to eat.

I continued to
slowly eat my food while keeping a close eye on Maria in case she needed more
help, but now that she was on the right track she was improving faster than
ever. Her hold on the fork was still awkward, a few stray fork loads still
ended up down her front, but most of the food she was able to consume and she
seemed to relish each and every bite.

By the time
Maria finished eating her hair was completely dry and her curls bounced every
time she chewed. It would have been funny had I not been so sorry to see her in
such a broken state. Part of me wanted to shake her, tell her to wake up, maybe
even slap her and tell her to stop pretending. But the bigger, stronger, more
caring part of me wanted just to hold her, braid her hair, paint her nails and
make her look just like the old Maria. She already had so much working against
her here; she didn't need anymore help showing people she was different.

Maria stood up
before I realized she was done and I scrambled up after her. We put our trays
in a receptacle by the door and were about to leave when a shrill cry stopped
me. I had taken Maria's hand again when we left the table so she couldn't get
lost. She felt me stop and turned to look for the source of the noise with me.

"Maria!"
the voice was desperate, full of emotion, and definitely female, definitely
Mrs. Cole's.

"Why are
you touching her?" Mrs. Cole demanded of me, "That's my daughter, you
get your hands off of her!"

"You told
me you didn't have a daughter," I responded without so much as a trace of
guilt for my harsh words.

"I was
lying, of course I was lying, Alice, this is my daughter, my Maria. Why is she
here? Why is she dead?"

"You told
her to come here. She said you came to her and told her someone needed her
help. So she killed herself, Mrs. Cole, she killed herself just like you. How
could you do that to your husband?"

I put every
ounce of bitterness and anger that had built up in me since my death behind
those words. I watched Mrs. Cole go from frantic mom, to a murderous mother
bear.

"You are
lying! I would never tell my daughter to come to this place! Never! If I had
known what was waiting for me here I wouldn't have come myself! No one will
tell me how to leave, I wouldn't do that to my own child!"

I didn't
believe her I couldn't believe her. Mrs. Cole's words fell uselessly to the
floor, shattering into a million pieces on my distrust of her.

"I don't
know you anymore, and you don't know me. My name is Ira, I don't know your
name, and I don't know your 'child's' name. I was just helping her throw away
her food. I think it's best that you find Kinga if you have a problem with
that."

The kitchen had
gone silent, everyone was staring the three of us. The two angry women at each
other's throats, and the poor quiet girl who didn't seem to have a clue that
all of the commotion was about her. I looked behind me at Maria; she was
looking at her mother with absolutely no recognition in her eyes, just a blind
stare. Then Maria smiled to herself, straightened her dress with her free hand,
and began to swirl the skirt around her legs like a child.

Mrs. Cole broke
down in front of me, following the fate of her words.

"She
doesn't know who I am does she?" Mrs. Cole whispered. Her eyes searched
for the truth in mine, attempting to look into my soul, they begged for me to
tell her that Maria was only pretending, that it was all a cruel joke, but I
wouldn't.

"Maria
remembers nothing," I whispered so only Mrs. Cole could here, "maybe
it's best that she doesn't for now. It will save her from ending up like
you."

Mrs. Cole's
knees buckled and she fell to the floor in front of me, she reached for Maria's
free hand, but the moment her mother touched her skin, Maria screamed. She
screamed louder than she had when the water got too high, and she screamed as
though her very life depended on it.

Maria clung to
me, squeezing me with both arms and hiding her head in my shirt. She began to
sob again, there was only one thing I could think of to do.

"I'm
sorry, ma’am, but we have to go before we raise more of a scene.”

I pulled Maria
through the door and back into my room. Even with the door shut I could still
here the anguished cries of Wendy Cole.

Chapter Twenty-two

Maria was
curled up on my bed, covering her ears with her hands and sobbing harder than
ever.
"I need a shower," I told my room. The sounds of Mrs. Cole's tears
vanished as the destination behind the door changed. If anything though,
Maria's tears were more desperate, she wasn't mourning, she wasn't sad, she was
frustrated. She was yanking at her hair, screaming to herself and looked as if
she were having a seizure.
I ran to the bed and hugged Maria tightly against me, I rocked and shushed her
until the crying stopped. She laid there on my lap, completely exhausted, tears
continued to course down her cheeks and onto my jeans as Maria stared up at the
ceiling. The lighting looked to have gone back to telling time again because my
room was gradually darkening. I judged it to be eight o'clock in the evening
before there was a knock at my door.
I was perplexed, I didn't know someone could get to my room when it was pointed
at a bathroom, but nothing made sense anymore, so instead of puzzling over the
conundrum I called, "It's open," and tried to calm down Maria whom I
had frightened with my sudden noise making.
Leigh burst into the room, smile wide, blonde hair flowing, and giant blue eyes
adjusting to the dim light. Michael followed her, but he didn't look nearly as
happy. He looked tired and like this was an obligation he had to fill in order
to go back to bed.
"I'm not here to ask you to be bait again," Michael said the moment
we made eye contact. He raised his arms in a surrender, "Leigh just wanted
to see you."
"Will you come to the meeting with me?" Leigh asked excitedly. She
jumped on my bed next to me, startling Maria anew and making me wonder once
again where she got the energy to act the way she did.
"What meeting?"
"The one that Michael's in charge of! They're so much fun and you get to
learn lots of new things that no one else will tell you!"
"Did you put her up to this?" I asked Michael fiercely, "Because
if you did that's low. I can't believe you'd use a little girl to do your dirty
work!"
Michael shook his head, "I had no idea what she wanted to come here for,
she just said she wanted to talk to you and make sure you were doing all right.
I'm just the chaperone."
"Ha!" was the only decent response I could muster.
"Who's she?" Leigh asked. Her eyes were fixated on Maria, "She's
so pretty, and her hair looks like Cassidy's. I like Cassidy, she's really nice
to me; she told me I reminded her of her daughter."
"This is Maria," I told Leigh, "we were best friends for our
entire lives, we even died on the same day."
"Were you killed?" Leigh asked. Her eyes were wide with curiosity.
"I was, but Maria--" I didn't know how to phrase how Maria had died.
I didn't want Leigh thinking anything less of this person she had just met. It
was a silly fear, I knew Leigh wouldn't judge her, but I couldn't bring myself
to describe Maria's death the way it had happened, "someone asked her to
come here, so she did."
Leigh's jaw dropped, "Who told her?" she whispered.
"Her mother."
Leigh's hands flew to her mouth, "That's like what happened to me!"
My eyes flicked to Michael, he looked just as surprised at the revelation as
me.
"What happened to you Leigh?" Michael asked. It was obvious this was
something he’d been waiting a long time to hear. He sat down in the chair next
to the bed, looking up at the three of us girls.
Leigh sat up a little straighter on the bed; she looked around imperiously
before launching into her story, "When I was eight my mommy got really
sick. She said something was happening inside her that hurt her lots, but she
didn't know what it was. The doctors told her it was a new baby, just like I
had been, except this time it was a boy! But my brother was hurting my mommy so
the doctors had to take him away so that she wouldn't die. Mommy was really sad
for a long time, she wouldn't hold me on her lap anymore, and it made me sad
too. Daddy didn't know what to do, so he went to go look for the baby they had
taken away from mommy so that she would be happy again. But he got lost and
never came back."
Even Maria was being silent and giving rapt attention to the little girl who
spoke with such love for the man who had left his daughter and wife. She knew
too much for someone so young.
"Then I turned eight and my mom got happy again for a few days. She got me
a new dress and we were going to go on a trip, but one night when I was asleep
someone came and took mommy away. Most of her was still there, but she wouldn't
open her eyes and look at me anymore. It was okay though, nice people came and
took me somewhere else to live. They put my mom in a house underground so that
she wouldn't scare anyone when she came back."
The innocence of Leigh's description was astounding, the people around her had
been too kind to tell a little girl that her brother was dead, her father had
left her, and her mother had died. It was cruel that they had let her believe
that it was possible for all those people to come back, or was it? Leigh began
speaking again.
"A lot of people where I went were sad, just like they are here. Most of
them had forgotten how to smile, just like Michael did, but he's starting to
remember."
Leigh smiled at Michael, in return she received a cheesy grin that made her
giggle before continuing, "One night my mom came to visit me. She said
someone where she was needed my help and I should come right away. I couldn't
leave though, some of my friends were remembering their smiles, and I had to
help them until they didn't need a reminder anymore. I told my mom I'd come as
soon as I was done, but she said that wasn't good enough. She said if I didn't
come with her right then she wouldn't love me anymore. That's when I knew it
wasn't my mom; she told me she would always love me no matter what. I told her
to leave, and she did, but she was really mad. I was okay though, I knew my
real mom was still looking out for me."
Tears poked at my eyes and I hastily blinked them away while resisting the urge
to ask, "Then what happened?" Leigh continued without being prodded.
"The next night when I was getting ready for bed, one of the older girls
who'd been there a really long time started yelling at me. She told me I was a
freak because I was so happy, but I didn't mind, she was just angry, so I
hugged her and told her she could be happy with me if she wanted. I'd show her
how. She didn't want to hug me at first, but soon she was crying really hard
and was hugging me back. I thought she would get better without my help, but
she needed love too much so she kept squeezing me harder and harder. Like
this."
Leigh wrapped her arms around me and squeezed with all her tiny might while
making a really pained expression, "It hurt to breathe, but I kept hugging
her because I knew she needed it. She was trying to squeeze love right out of
me, I would've given it to her if she asked, but some people don't know how.
So, I let her take it, and then I left, just like my mom did, but I blew the
girl a kiss before I went through the door into the hallway full of doors. I
hope she felt it, everyone can use a little extra love."
As Leigh spoke so peacefully about her death I couldn't keep the tears back any
longer.
"Don't cry!" Leigh exclaimed. She hugged me again, "The doors
were easy, I was done really fast, and then I came here and I thought it was
wonderful, but Michael and his friends told me there was a way I could make it
even better. So, I joined up with them, plus I like my real name much better
than Aida, don't you like your name better?"
"Of course I do! It's just--" I glanced at Michael, and looked away
again.
"Well then why don't you help us? You can keep your name and you can help
your friend. Some of the people helping Michael think they know how to fix
people like her."
"There are more people like Maria here?" I asked. I looked over at my
friend who was still fixated on Leigh as if she were the only real thing in the
world.
"There are only a few, but yes, the doors did really bad things to them, mine
were bad too, but my mommy helped me lots and told me it would be okay as long
as I kept smiling!"
"You can help Maria?" I asked Michael.
Michael nodded, "We think so."
"I know they can, will you help us, Alice? Do it for your friend, I like
her!"
Instead of responding to the question immediately I asked Leigh a question,
"How old are you?"
"I think I'm nine. I was eight when I left like my mom, I spent a month in
the hallway, and I've been here for seven months. So, yes, nine!" Leigh
seemed very proud to have reached such an old age, "How old are you?"
she asked.
"I'm eighteen now," I replied. I couldn't believe how much stronger
this little girl was than me, she had been through much worse and yet she was
still smiling and trying to help everyone else out.
"That's only a year younger than you, Michael! Kinga's two years older
than him! Alice is much closer to your age, plus she's pretty and nice, you
should marry her instead!"
Michael and I both blushed red and couldn't look at each other, "That's an
interesting thought, Leigh, but I don't think that will happen."
Leigh frowned, the first time I had ever seen her do so, "Fine," then
she turned to me, "so will you help us?"
How could I say no to her?
"Yes, I'll help, but I need to talk to Michael alone for a minute,
okay?"
Leigh hugged me again before bouncing off the bed, Michael stood to open the
door for her, I caught a glimpse of grass and setting sun and was suddenly
hungry for the outdoors. I would have to explore after I spoke with Michael.
Just as Leigh was about to leave she thought better of it, she turned around
and tugged on Michael's shirt until he bent down so she could whisper something
in his ear. As she did so, Michael turned more and more red as Leigh cast
furtive glances my way, her eyes twinkling mischievously.
"Okay, we'll see what happens, I'll be out in a minute," Michael said
when Leigh had finished.
Leigh smiled appreciatively and left, Michael shut the door behind her, and
shrugged his shoulders apologetically, "I'm sorry about her, every new
girl that comes here she decides I should marry because she doesn't think I'll
be happy with Kinga."
"Will you?" I asked without thinking.
"I don't think my future happiness is what you wanted to talk to me
about," Michael said artfully avoiding my question the same way he’d done
earlier.
"No," I replied, "I need to know, right now, did you ask Leigh
to come here and convince me to help you?"
"I already told you, I had no idea what her intentions were, she would
have come here herself, but I didn't want her getting lost or hurt."
"I don't want her hurt either, if you aren't certain what you're doing is
going to help, then why do you let her believe that you're absolutely right and
that you can do no wrong?"
"I've explained to her everything in the same way I explain it to
everyone, there are holes, there are flaws, and their are uncertainties, but
she believes what she wants to believe. I can tell her about all the
imperfections that I want, and she'll just gloss over them and point out how it
could be an advantage or that I'm being unfair. It's impossible to win an
argument with her." Michael smiled to himself and ran a hand through his
hair. One curl stuck up at an odd angle and I had a sudden desire to put it
back in place, instead I adjusted Maria's hair.
As soon as Leigh had left, Maria became distant again, she just sat there
staring at her hands while I considered what to say next.
"Don't let her die again, okay? She deserves a long life this time; she
probably deserves it more than anyone I've ever met. Don't let her get killed
while you're fighting this war, you can use me as bait all you want, but the
second that little girl is in danger because of a decision of yours, I'm done.
I mean that."
"I know you do," Michael replied, "believe me, I would rather
die than see her get hurt, especially now that I know how she got here. You
have my word that nothing will happen to her, or you for that matter."
"Your word on her life is enough for me," I said. I was almost
beginning to warm up to Michael. I figured someone was willing to risk his life
to protect a little girl who had reminded him how to smile he couldn't be that
bad.
Michael nodded, "I have to go find Leigh, Kinga wants to speak with
her."
Michael turned to leave, but I asked him to stop, "Besides keeping her
safe, make sure she doesn't forget how to smile."
"I'm not sure someone like her could ever forget," Michael replied.
Then he was gone.
I looked to Maria, but she had laid down on my bed and appeared to be fast
asleep. I tried joining her, but the more I tried to sleep, the more it evaded
me. I just sat there holding Maria's hand for hours as the ceiling went from
sunset, to deep black. The smallest bit of light blue had started to appear in
one corner of my room before I closed my eyes and was able to sleep.