But the clincher was, given the opportunity to go back in time to change being outed, I'm not sure I would.
Sure, I wished my business wasn't in the toilet. I wished my only chance of a sexual relationship with another man in my hometown—and the memory of it—
wasn't rendered to nothing.
But now that I was out of the closet, I'm not sure I'd want to go back. Regardless of the cost. Especially now that I'd seen how people like Adam and Simon lived, out in the open with nothing to hide.
I wanted that.
Would I ever have that in Dalton, Alabama?
"Hey," the bus driver called out, snapping me out of the inside of my head. "This your stop?"
I looked out of the tour bus window to find I was already back at the hotel. My worries seemed to disappear when I walked into the lobby. The dark wood trims and white walls, open to the sunlight, just made me smile.
There were two other couples, all men, chatting and
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laughing and another couple in the pool.
It was like my very own private paradise.
For the next nine days, anyway.
I went straight to my room, changed into swimming trunks, and hit the beach. The warm sand, cool water, and midafternoon breeze were perfect for clearing my mind. By the time I walked back up the stone steps to the hotel, Adam was behind the bar, grinning at me.
I couldn't help but smile back at him.
I walked over to him, rubbing a towel over my still-wet hair. "Hey."
He grinned beautifully. "How was your day?"
"Good. Saw some sights," I answered him with a nod. "I better go shower and get changed."
"That's a shame." Adam sighed. "I was just imagining licking the salt off your skin."
My mouth fell open at his blatant remark, and I could feel myself blush. I glanced around to see if anyone could have heard, but we were pretty much alone.
"Does that bother you?" he asked, still smiling.
I shook my head. "No, just not used to such forward comments."
"Mmm," he hummed. "There's a lot of things you're not used to. You'll have to tell me all the things your ex never did, so we can remedy that."
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I bit my bottom lip and gave him a shy smile. I cleared my throat, too inhibited to give details of what I'd done and what I wanted to do.
Adam chuckled and walked around to my side of
the bar. He moved right up to me and smiled with darkened eyes. "So shy," he whispered, then slowly kissed my neck.
"Mmm," he hummed again. "The salt of the ocean is sweet on your skin."
Fuck.
I could feel his body heat. I could smell him. I shivered from head to foot.
Adam wagged his finger. "No jerking off in the shower. Wait til later, for me and Sy, okay?"
My breath caught, and all I could do was nod. True to his request, I didn't jerk off in the shower. As much as I ached and as hard as I was, I wanted to wait. I knew my release would be more intense if Adam and Simon were there, coaxing it out of me.
Sucking and fucking it out of me.
Dressed in jeans, a polo shirt, and the Keys'
standard footwear of flip-flops, I went back out to the bar.
There were other guys seated there and in the restaurant now, but being a Monday, it was quieter than the weekend had been.
Adam was talking to the other couple at the bar, but he grinned when he saw me. "How was your shower?"
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"Cold."
He barked out a laugh. "That's too bad."
I chuckled at him. "Yeah well, I figured it'd be, um, it'd be"—I looked at the other two guys at the bar next to me and cleared my throat, embarrassed—"in my best interest."
Adam laughed. "Oh, I'm sure it will be."
And it fucking was. I spent the evening at the bar, talking to some other guests, but mostly to Adam—and Simon when his work was done. They'd finished early, like they said they would, and by eight, I was on my bed with Simon buried to the hilt inside me and Adam's cock in my throat.
I came three times before midnight. It was worth the wait, indeed.
We fell asleep in a knotted mass of legs and arms, exhausted and thoroughly sated. And I woke to the feel of being watched.
I opened my eyes to find it was Simon's gaze on me. He was on his side facing me, and Adam was in-between us, still asleep. I smiled at Simon, and when I looked at Adam's contented face, my smile widened.
"He looks happy," I whispered, my voice still thick from sleep.
Simon nodded, and there was a warm light in his
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eyes as he took in Adam's features. Then he looked at me.
"You feel okay? You got quite the workout last night."
Before I could answer, an only-pretending-to-sleep Adam, still with his eyes closed, said, "He loved being worked out."
Simon laughed and strangely, I wasn't embarrassed.
I dug my fingers into Adam's ribs, tickling him. "I thought you were asleep."
He squirmed and chuckled, wriggling his back
against Simon, so they then both faced me. Simon draped his arm protectively around Adam, and they both smiled.
They looked so content, so happy. I wanted that. I wanted to be happy like that. Sure, I wanted the terrific sex, but I wanted the feeling of being so utterly loved.
I wanted what they had.
One day, I told myself. One day.
Simon sighed, bringing my attention back to them.
"I gotta get up, go for a run."
"Yeah, it's time for my morning prayers," Adam said, sitting up on the bed.
"You're gonna get up this early to swim on your day off?" I asked incredulously.
He looked at me and grinned. "Absolutely." Then he looked back down to Simon. "You should take Wil running with you."
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I barked out a laugh, making both men look at me.
"Jesus, I haven't run since high school."
Adam climbed down to the foot of the bed, but
before he climbed off, he slapped my ass. "Then it will do you good."
I scrubbed my hands over my face. "You two do this every day? Get up and go swimming and running?"
Adam waggled his eyebrows as he slipped on his shirt. "Helps build endurance, you know, stamina."
I groaned out a laugh.
Simon chuckled and got up, the picked his pants up off the table. "Put on some running gear and meet us at the stone steps in five."
* * * *
I was going to have a heart attack, and Simon wasn't even out of breath. "How far do you normally run?" I asked him.
"Up to the headland and back," he said, nodding off into the distance.
"Holy shit." I panted. "That's a long way." No wonder he was so fit.
Simon smirked. "You'll get a little farther each day."
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"You mean I have to do this again?" I asked, like he'd lost his mind.
He laughed again. His dark hair and blue eyes shone in the sunrise. He really was a striking guy. I ran with him for a while, but suggested he keep running without me, and I'd start running again on his way back. I slowed to a walk and watched him run effortlessly ahead of me, his body lithe and fluid.
It gave me time to catch my breath, but also time to think. When Simon had run up to the headland and made his way back, he slowed to a walk beside me. A sheen of sweat covered his bare torso and his chest was heaving. But he asked me questions about my life in Alabama, about my work, and seemed interested in what I had to say. When we were at the steps of the hotel, Simon put his shirt back on and we sat down and watched Adam swim. Our
conversation soon turned to the man in the water.
I gave a pointed nod toward Adam. "He's a livewire."
Simon snorted. "And then some."
"Have you always sought out a third guy?"
Simon smiled at my question. "No, not always."
"It's his idea though, isn't it?" I asked.
"Why do you ask?"
"Because it seems Adam was the one who wanted
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it."
Simon chuckled. "Is that so? Do you get the impression I don't want it?"
I remembered just how much he wanted it last
night, how hard he fucked and how hard he came. "Okay, well, not just him."
Simon chuckled, obviously remembering last night too. "After I checked you into your room, I told Adam you were here alone. He
did
suggest it first," he admitted. "But I certainly didn't argue."
The heat of embarrassment crept over my cheeks, and I nodded. "Oh."
"Is that wrong? That I told him you were here by yourself?"
I looked at Simon. His eyes were curious, but
equally serious. "No," I answered. "But you singled me out?"
"Hardly," he replied with a laugh. "You were already single, remember? I merely told Adam you were here alone, and when he saw you, he wanted you."
I nodded, taking in this information. "Does it bother you?"
"What?"
"That he wants to bring other people into your bed?"
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Simon shook his head. "No. Why would it?"
"Because you've never had a third guy around for this long, let alone for ten days." And then I told him, "And because you're in love."
"And is love only for two people?" he retorted.
I thought about that for a moment. Despite the preconceived idea of what a relationship is—or should be—I could now see just how happy three people could be.
"No, I guess it's not."
Simon smiled. "The only rules in love are the rules we set for ourselves. If Adam wants a third person in our bed, then that's fine with me."
"But you have to want it too."
Simon tilted his head, as if trying to understand something. "Why do you keep thinking I don't want this?"
I didn't answer. I couldn't. I didn't want him to admit he was only putting up with me for the sake of his boyfriend. And just then, we were interrupted by one of the kitchen staff.
"Excuse me, Simon?" the girl asked. "Got a sec?"
He looked at his watch. "Shit!" He got to his feet and walked with her into the building. I stood up with a sigh and went back to my room.
And by the time Adam knocked on my door, I'd
done some thinking. I knew he had two days off, and I
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knew it was very possible we'd spend those two days in bed. I let him in, and he grinned. "Ready for the best day ever?"
I smiled at him. It was impossible not to. "First, I think we need to set some rules."
Adam blinked. "Huh?"
I shook my head at his reaction. "Rules."
Ten minutes later, he'd dragged Simon into my
room. "Can you please tell him? You tell him how I don't like rules."
Simon laughed, and looked at me. "What
rules
?"
I took a deep breath and told Simon what I'd just told Adam. "I don't think we should have sex when it's not the three of us."
Adam looked at Simon and cried, "See? I told you it was ridiculous!"
Simon smiled at Adam then looked at me. "Why?"
"I just thought it would be unfair to the person who's sitting out." Then I clarified, "But not me. You two can do what you want without me. I mean, you're a couple.
I'm just the third wheel."
Adam put his hands on his hips. "You're not a fucking third wheel," he huffed, and then he looked at Simon. "See?"
I laughed at Adam. He was like a kid who wasn't
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allowed candy.
"Look, Adam," I said gently, "what I mean is, you and I have two days together while Simon has to work.
That's hardly fair to him. He'll be wondering what we're doing." Then I whispered, "And how we're doing it."
Adam looked at Simon and pouted. "Oh."
I walked up to him, standing closer so I could look in his eyes. "Just imagine if Simon had a day off while you had to work, and we spent it together, locked away in a bedroom, for hours and hours,"—I groaned for effect—
"and hours."
Adam frowned.
I cupped his face in my hands. "You wouldn't like that, would you? Wondering what we were doing without you?"
He shook his head slowly. "Not really."
"But we can kiss," I conceded. "And make out."
Adam looked suddenly hopeful. "Blow jobs?"
I snorted out a laugh and looked at Simon, who shrugged.
"Oh, thank God." Adam groaned, unbuttoning his cargos. Sliding his hand under his briefs, he freed his semi-hard dick.
My mouth fell open in shock at his blatant
suggestion. Simon laughed then clicked his tongue. "Rules
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are rules. Blow jobs
are
allowed, Wil."
I looked at him, trying to gauge his reaction. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"
Simon smiled and nodded.
Adam looked at Simon and pumped his cock. "Did you wanna watch?"
Simon looked at the time. "I've got about two minutes."
Adam grabbed my jaw with his free hand and
pulled me in for a quick, hard kiss. "With this mouth, that won't be a problem."
I dropped to my knees. I took his beautiful cock in eagerly, sucking and licking for all my worth. Grunting and groaning and with his hands around my jaw, he came down my throat. He didn't last the two minutes, not that I was counting.
And when I looked up, Simon was staring at me. He leaned down and kissed me, tasting Adam in my mouth.