Threads of Love (5 page)

“I’ve been trying to find help ever since Sarah and Jake died, but the few unmarried young women around our area were either, shall we say, unwholesome or looking for a husband in the bargain. Granny Dowd wouldn’t accept unwholesome, and I wouldn’t accept a wife…not that I plan to stay a bachelor forever. I want to, you know, marry…” he stammered. “It’s just that I plan on being in love with the woman I marry and sharing the same beliefs and goals. I don’t want it to be some sort of bargain—”

“Mr. Wilshire, I really am not interested in your marriage plans. I’m just trying to find out why I’m here,” Delphinia interrupted.

“That’s what I’m trying to explain, if you’ll just quit breaking in! Now, like I said, we didn’t seem to find anyone who was suitable. Granny and I kept praying we would find an answer. A few weeks later, I was in town to pick up supplies. While I was waiting for my order to be filled, I picked up an old St. Louis newspaper that someone had left in the store. I looked through the advertisements and noticed one that stated: ‘Looking for good home and possible teaching position immediately for my daughter.’ There were instructions to write a Mr. Potter at the Union National Bank in Cherryvale, Illinois. I was sure it was an answer to prayer, and so was Granny.

“That night, we composed a letter to your pa telling him about Jake and Sarah, the children, and Granny’s failing health. We told him we were Christians who tried to live by God’s Word and would do everything possible to give you a good home in return for your help with the children and the house. We also told him we would pay you a small stipend each month so you’d have some independence.”

Jonathan got up and moved toward the creek. Rinsing off his plate, he continued, “We sent that letter off the very next day and waited anxiously for a reply. When it finally came, we were almost afraid to open it for fear it would be a rejection of our offer. Instead, it started out with Mr. Potter telling us your pa could neither read nor write and that he was acting as his intermediary. Mr. Potter said your pa was pleased with the idea of your coming out to Kansas and that I should make arrangements to come to Illinois because he wanted to meet with me personally.”

“If that’s supposed to impress me as loving, fatherly concern for my well-being, I’m afraid it doesn’t persuade me,” Delphinia remarked.

“I’m not trying to justify anything. I’m just telling you how it all happened.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Please continue, and I’ll try to keep quiet,” she murmured.

“I left Kansas the next morning. When I arrived in town, I went straight to the bank and met with Mr. Potter. He sent for your pa, and we met the afternoon I arrived in Cherryvale. I presented him with letters I had secured from our minister and some folks in the community during the time we waited for your father’s response. Granny said she was sure you were the Lord’s answer, and we were going to be prepared.”

Delphinia couldn’t help but smile at that remark. It sounded just like something her ma would have said.

“Mr. Potter looked over the letters I had with me, read them to your pa, and he seemed satisfied that we were upstanding folks who would do right by you. He said he was wanting to go farther west in hopes of striking gold and that it would be no life for a young woman. I agreed with him…not just because we needed you, but because I felt what he said was true.”

Jonathan paused, took a deep breath, and continued, “He told me he had fallen on hard times and mortgaged his house for just about all it was worth. Mr. Potter confirmed the bank held notes on the property and that your pa was going to deed it back over to the bank for a very small sum of money. Your father said he needed extra funds to get supplies and have enough to keep him going until he hit gold. I gave him some money to cover those expenses, but nobody considered it to be like I was buying you, Phiney. I was just so thankful we had found you, I didn’t want anything like your pa needin’ a little money to stand in the way. Then when the wagon train needed help, I was sure God’s hand was at work in all that was happening.

“Phiney, your pa had made up his mind he was going to go West and search for gold. Nothing was going to stop him. He’d have taken you with him if he had to, I suppose, but he was right—it would have been a terrible life for you. But if you’re determined this is not what you want, I’ll not fight you. The next town we get close to, I’ll put you on a train and send you back to Cherryvale.”

“To what?” she asked. “My father’s gone, and if he isn’t, he won’t want to see me back. The bank owns our land. I have no one to go to,” she said dejectedly.

“Your pa loves you, Phiney. He just has a restlessness that needs to be filled. He was careful about the arrangements he made for you. Your father was very concerned about your safety and well-being.”

“He cared as long as I was out of his way,” she retorted.

“You know, we all get selfish at times, and your pa was looking out for what he wanted first. That doesn’t mean he loves you any less. I guess we just have to learn to believe what the Bible tells us about all things working for good to those who love the Lord.”

Delphinia picked up her cup and plate, slowly walked to the water’s edge, and rinsed them off as Jonathan issued a silent prayer that God would help Delphinia forgive her father and find peace and happiness in her new home with them.

“We’d better get back. Mrs. Clauson said we should wash some clothes since we don’t get many opportunities like this one,” she remarked, walking past him.

Jonathan was still sitting and watching her as she moved toward the wagons when she turned and said, “I guess you weren’t at fault, so my apology stands.”

F
or the remainder of the day Delphinia was completely absorbed in her own thoughts. She wandered from one chore to another without realizing when she had begun one thing and ended another. After the evening meal, Jonathan led them in devotions and the moment the final amen had been uttered, Delphinia excused herself, anxious for the solitude the wagon would provide, even if only for an hour or two.

As Delphinia lay there, she began to pray. This prayer was different, however. It was not a request that God rescue her or that anything terrible happen to Mr. Wilshire. Rather, this prayer was that God would give her the ability to forgive her father for deserting her and grant her peace. Almost as an afterthought, she added that she could also use a bit of joy in her life. She fell asleep with that prayer on her lips.

Their few remaining days with the wagon train had passed in rapid succession when Jonathan advised her that the next day they would break away on their own. “I think the wagon master will be happy to see me leave. I’ve noticed it seems to upset him when folks look to me for leadership now that he’s well again,” he said with a grin.

“I think you may be right about that. I don’t think some of the folks will look to him unless you’re gone. They take to you more. Maybe it’s because they view you as an answer to prayer,” she responded.

“I hope I have been. Maybe someday I can be an answer to your prayers, too,” he stated and then, noting her uneasiness, quickly changed the subject. “It’s faster if we break off and head north on our own. We can make it home by evening without pushing too hard, and it’s safe, since the Indians around our area are pretty friendly. Besides, I’ve been gone quite a spell, and I’m anxious to get home, if that’s all right with you.”

“Whatever you think is best,” she replied, but suddenly a multitude of emotions began to envelop her. She was going to miss the Clausons and the other folks she had gotten to know on the train. She was frightened that Granny and the children would not accept her. And how, oh how, was she going to be able to take care of a houseful of children? The thought of such responsibility almost overwhelmed her.
Lord, please give me peace and joy and lots and lots of help
, she quietly prayed.

The next morning they joined the Clausons for breakfast, and Jonathan led them in a final prayer, while Delphinia attempted to remain calm. Mrs. Clauson hugged her close and whispered in her ear to be brave, which only served to heighten her level of anxiety. She forced a feeble smile, took up the reins, and bid the horses move out.

Delphinia found herself deep in thought as they made their way to the Wilshire homestead. Jonathan rode the mare, scouting ahead, then riding back to assure her all was well, not allowing much time for conversation. With each mile they traversed, she felt fear beginning to well up inside. As Jonathan came abreast of the wagon to tell her they would be home in about three hours, he noticed she was holding the reins with one hand and pressing down the pleats of her skirt in that slow, methodical motion he had come to recognize as a sign of uneasiness.

“This looks like it might be a good spot for us to stop for a short spell. I’m sure you could use a little rest, and the horses won’t mind either,” he remarked, hoping to give them a little time to talk and perhaps find out what was bothering her.

“I thought you wanted to keep moving…get home as early as possible. Isn’t that what you’ve told me every time you rode back from scouting?” she asked, her voice sounding strained.

“You’re right; I did say that,” he commented as he reached across his mare and took hold of the reins, bringing the team and wagon to a halt. “But I think a short rest will do us both some good.”

Climbing down from his horse, he tied it to the back of the wagon and then, walking to the side of the wagon, stretched his arms up to assist her down. As her feet touched the ground, Delphinia looked up, and Jonathan was met by two of the saddest brown eyes he had ever seen. Instead of releasing her, he gathered her into his arms and held her, trying his best to give her comfort. Standing there with her in his arms, he realized he truly cared for this young woman.

Pushing away from him, Delphinia retorted, “I’m not a child anymore, Mr. Wilshire, so you needn’t feel you have to stop and coddle me. I’ll be fine, just fine,” she said. Not wanting to ever again experience the pain of losing someone she cared about, Delphinia knew she would have to hold herself aloof.

“Is that what you think? That I feel you’re a child who needs to be coddled? Well, believe me, Phiney, I know you’re not a child, but I also know there isn’t a soul who doesn’t need comforting from time to time…even you.”

Immediately, she regretted her abruptness but was not about to let down her defenses. Turning, she saw Jonathan walking down toward the dry creek bed below. Not sure what else to do, she followed along behind, trying to keep herself upright by grabbing at tree branches as the rocks underfoot began to slide.

“You sure wouldn’t do well sneaking up on a person,” he remarked without looking back.

“I wasn’t trying to sneak up on you. I wanted to apologize for acting so supercilious. You’ve probably noticed that I sometimes lack the art of tactfulness. At least that’s what Mama used to tell me on occasion.”

When he did not respond, she looked at their surroundings and asked, “Is there some reason why you’ve come down here?”

“I guess I just wanted to look around. About two miles up this creek bed is where Sarah and Jake died. It’s hard to believe, looking at it now.”

“What do you mean by that? You never mentioned how they died. I thought they probably contracted some type of illness. Was it Indians?” she asked with a tremor in her voice.

Sitting down on a small boulder, he pulled a long piece of grass and tucked it between his teeth. “No, it wasn’t illness or Indians that caused their death. It was a much-needed rain.”

“I don’t understand,” she commented, coming up behind where he sat and making her way around the rock to sit next to him.

“I wasn’t with them. Granny and I had stayed back at the farm. She hadn’t been feeling herself, and we needed supplies from town. Sarah hadn’t been in town since the twins’ birth, and she was wanting to get a change of scenery and see folks. The children wanted to go along, too. Going to town is just about the next best thing to Christmas for the youngsters.

“So they got all loaded up, Sarah and Tessie each holding one of the twins and the boys all excited about showing off the babies and maybe getting a piece or two of candy. They packed a lunch thinking they’d stop on the way home and eat so Granny wouldn’t have to prepare for them. We watched them pull out, and Granny said she was going to have a cup of tea and rest awhile, so I went out to the barn to do some chores. The morning passed by uneventfully. I noticed some clouds gathering but didn’t think much of it. We needed rain badly, but every time storm clouds would appear, it seemed they’d pass us by, and we’d be lucky to get a drop or two out of all the thunder and darkness.

“Granny and I just had some biscuits and cold meat for lunch, and I told her I was going to move the livestock into the barn and pen up the chickens and hogs since it looked like a storm was headed our way. We always took precautions, figuring rain had to come behind some of those clouds one day.

“As it turned out, that was the day. It started with big, fat raindrops, and I thought it was going to be another false alarm. But shortly, the animals started getting real skittish, and it began to rain at a nice steady pace. I just stood there letting it wash over me; it felt so good. I ran back to the cabin, and Granny was standing on the porch, laughing and holding her hands out to feel that wonderful, much-needed rain. It must have been a full ten minutes we stood there in delight when all of a sudden, there was the loudest clap of thunder and a huge bolt of lightning. The skies appeared to just open up and pour water down so fast and hard I couldn’t believe it.

“Granny and I got into the cabin as quick as we could when the downpour began, and as soon as we got our senses about us, we thought about Jake, Sarah, and the children, praying they hadn’t begun the trip home before the rain started. I think it was probably the longest time of my life, just waiting there. I couldn’t leave to go search for them, knowing I could never make it through that downpour. It seemed it would never stop.

“It was the next day before it let up enough so I could travel at all. I started out with a few supplies and had to go slowly with the horse, the ground was so soaked. I wasn’t sure which way Jake would be coming back from town, so I told Granny to pray that if they’d left town I’d choose the right direction. There are two ways for us to make it to town, and we usually didn’t come by way of this creek bed. I was hoping that Jake hadn’t chosen this, of all days, to come the creek-bed route, but I felt led to start my search in this direction.