Thread of Deceit (22 page)

“She says Primero is there. The First Man.”

A terrible thought hit Sam. “Could it be Raydell? She sees him at the door. It’s hard for me to accept, but he may have been involved in the attack on you—and he didn’t show up for work today. That’s not like Raydell, Ana. Maybe he’s been hurting Flora…though I can’t believe he would do that. Raydell has a rough life, but he’s got a good heart.”

“Men who prey on children focus on places like Haven,” Ana told him. “That’s why I’ve been concerned about Terell. A predator who has constant contact with kids can spend a long time preparing his victim. He can use gifts, bribes, threats. He can begin the grooming slowly and move forward with such subtle steps that the child doesn’t realize what’s happening. It’s like a cat stalking a mouse—toying with it for a long time before he eats it.”

Sam tried to imagine this kind of behavior from Terell, and it was unthinkable. With Raydell, though, anything was possible. The boy came from a troubled home, and he walked the edge. If he had been molested as a child, maybe he was now choosing to act out his aggression by preying on others.

“Can Flora give us a description of Primero?” Sam asked.

“I’ve tried, but when she starts talking about him, a vacant look crosses her face and then she—”

“Sam?” Terell’s tall form appeared over the edge of the trash bin. “Sam, you in there?”

“Ai! Ai!” Shrieking, Flora scrambled onto Ana’s lap, stepped on Sam’s shoulder and vanished over the metal side.

“Flora?” Ana leaped to her feet. “Flora, wait!”

“What are you two doing in the garbage can?” Terell demanded.

Sam hoisted himself up. “That little girl—which way did she run?”

“Girl? I thought that was a dog.”

“It was Flora.” Ana’s voice wavered on the brink of hysteria. “Sam, we’ve got to find her.”

“She went that way,” Terell said.

“Hang on to my shoulders,” Sam told Ana. Setting his hands around her waist, he lifted the slender woman out of the trash receptacle and set her on her feet in the parking lot.

Terell had already started down the street, and Sam took off at a dead run, catching up easily. He could hear his friend’s heavy feet pounding the pavement beside him, but in a moment, Ana overtook them both. Holding her sandals in one hand, she tore barefoot along the sidewalk, her hair flying behind her.

“Flora! Flora!” she shouted. She called to the child in a stream of Spanish words Sam didn’t understand, and he could hear the tears in her voice.

In the next half hour they searched side streets and alleys, but Sam knew it was futile. The girl had vanished. Gone into the night, like so many others who lived and died in this neighborhood. What had frightened Flora into climbing straight up over two adults and hurling herself out of the trash bin? he wondered.

Terell.

Surely it couldn’t be. Not his friend. Not his basketball teammate. Not the man who knelt beside him in prayer every morning and every night. No.

Sam stopped to catch his breath. He could see Terell and Ana far down the street, searching under cardboard boxes and lifting trash can lids. Both were calling for Flora, but they wouldn’t find her. Soon, they would give up, and then Sam would have to face his friend.

The one who looks like me is my sister. I see her clearly now. Even though my head aches and my eyes blur, I understand that Aurelia stands before me. He has brought her to this place. He will hurt her in the same way he hurts me. She will know the same fear, the looming, choking, suffocating fear.

Aurelia smiles at me, and she shows me her new toy. A doll with long golden curls. The very doll she has been wanting for a long time. He gave it to her.

“Look!” she says. “See what I have! It’s mine.”

I nod. She wants me to be jealous. She wants me to cry and beg to play with the doll. Then she will have power over her big sister.

I came home with a new toy once, too. I had a bear with thick brown fur and a bow around its neck. I put the bear at the back of my closet, and I sat down beside it. Then I pulled clothes over my legs, my stomach, even my head. I shut the closet door, and I sat beside the bear. For a long time we sat, the bear and I. There was nothing to do, nothing to say. Only the memory of what had happened to me on that day.

The bear knew. It had seen what the man did to me. But it would not speak, and neither must I. The man said he would hurt my mama and papa if I ever told them about the lightbulb room and the thing that happened there. The man would kill my parents. He showed me the gun, long and black, with bullets inside it. And I believed him.

So the bear and I sat inside the closet in silence. We kept our secret.

That evening, I stayed in my closet until my mama called me to supper. I didn’t want to go to supper or anywhere ever again. I wanted to stay in the darkness under the pile of clothes forever. How could I go out? My parents would see my face, and they would know what had happened to me. Then the man would kill them.

But my mama was calling, and I knew that soon she would come to search for me. She would ask why I was hiding in the closet, and I would tell her. And the man would shoot my parents with his long, black gun.

So I opened the closet and pushed the clothes away. I crawled across the floor like a puppy. I pulled on the knob of my bedroom door to help myself stand up. I went to supper.

And they did not know. They saw nothing on my face. Nothing.

The toy bear who lives at the back of my closet kept the secret.

So did I.

But now I understand that I made a mistake. I should have told Aurelia. I ought to have warned my sister. Now the man has brought her. He has given her the golden-haired doll. And he will hurt her in the same way he hurt me.

She smiles at me again. “Look,” she says. “Look at me!”

The man pats her on the head. Then he gives her braid a tug. He says, “Come with me, Aurelia. Your sister will wait for you here.”

I cannot move. I can do nothing but watch Aurelia skip across the floor and go into the room with him. It is the lightbulb room. The lightbulb is there, and it can save her. But I have forgotten to tell her this! I jump to my feet and run to the door—

And then I hear her scream.

Aurelia’s cries tear through my ears and fall into my heart. I stand numb, listening to my sister’s pain. I hear the fear as it rips into her body. I have not saved her. I have not protected her. I allowed her to go into the room with the man.

Slowly, I turn around and lift my head. Here is another lightbulb behind a white glass globe. I stare at it.

Come to me, dear God, I pray. Come to me and take me away. Take me to the sunshine and the beach and the happiness.

But nothing happens. I still stand beside the door. I still hear my sister in the other room, sobbing now, groaning, whimpering. I still wait, like a statue, staring at the white paint on the door.

The grain of the wood runs up and down. The brass handle gleams. The room behind the door is silent.

I stand and wait. I wait longer. I wait until fear has grown into a mountain inside my chest. And the door opens.

Aurelia steps out. She stares at me, and I see that my sister and I are exactly the same now. The golden-haired doll hangs limply from her hand.

I move toward her. “Aurelia.”

“Stop.” She looks at me with sad eyes. She is not angry that I failed her. She does not shout at me for letting this thing happen. Instead, she walks past me across the carpet.

“Come,” she says. “It is time for us to go home.”

I decide that I will show her where the toy bear lives. I will take her into the closet and hide with my sister under the clothes. We can sit there until suppertime, not talking, not crying, not moving. Then we will walk together to the table, and we will eat with our mama and our papa.

We will not speak of this thing in the room with the lightbulb. It must be our secret. Aurelia’s and mine, the bear’s and the doll’s.

A
na stared down at her bare feet and wept. Flora was gone, and nothing could be done to save her. Nothing.

She felt Sam’s arm slip around her shoulders, drawing her close. Unable and unwilling to resist him, she sank into the comfort of his embrace. Clutching his sleeve, she gathered the soft fabric in her fist as the tears ran down her cheeks.

“It’s okay, Ana,” he whispered. “It’ll be okay. We’ll find her.”

“What’s going on?” Terell asked, arriving back from his search down an alley. He was breathing hard, sweating, his brow furrowed. “Who are we looking for anyhow?”

Ana studied Sam’s face as he greeted his friend. She knew he was trying to see evil in a man he had loved so many years. No doubt the long arms, the big goofy grin, the chest-deep guffaws all meant warmth, comfort and companionship to him. And perhaps Terell was innocent.

Children clung to the big man, laughing with him, poking him, begging him to rub their backs or give them a piggyback ride. Though Sam said his friend had chosen to stray from the straight and narrow path for a time, Terell appeared to be living like a Christian again. Ana could not deny that every word from his mouth, every expression on his face, every touch of his hand conveyed empathy and love for those around him. Could Terell Roberts be a fraud?

“What do you know about Flora?” Sam asked Terell. Ana read the note of accusation in his voice.

“The girl who was bleeding in the bathroom the other day,” she clarified. “The one Jim Slater was—”

She caught her breath as her own words sank in. Jim Slater had been chasing Flora.
Chasing her.
Determined to catch her, he had followed the child up the steps to the third floor. He broke the fire escape padlock with a hammer to get to her. Why?

Fast on the heels of that revelation came another. Flora had said Sam knew the man who had molested her. Jim Slater visited Haven often. He talked to Sam. And Flora watched them from her corner.

Then a third piece of an emerging puzzle fell into place. Jim Slater transported children from Honduras. On airplanes.

“I don’t know much about Flora,” Terell was saying to Sam. “I’m not even sure I saw her in the corner today.”

“But she ran past you while you were talking to Jim,” Sam countered.

“Listen, dog, I never saw Flora or any other girl running anywhere. I was on the second floor with Jim and his friend when they asked me to leave. Next thing I knew, they were busting our padlock on the third floor.”

Terell let out a breath and focused on Ana. “I don’t know what you’re after at Haven, ma’am, but I can tell you this. I played pro basketball for the Orlando Magic, and nobody runs past Terell Roberts without me seeing ’em.”

Sam nodded in confirmation. “Jim must have spotted Flora after he and Jack Smith went up to the third floor.”

“But that’s not what he told us,” Ana stressed. “I distinctly remember him saying they saw her run up to the
third floor.
After Terell left the two men alone, they must have searched the third floor. When they couldn’t find Flora, they went back downstairs to get a hammer and break the padlock so they could follow her.”

“Ana, what are you getting at?”

“Jim lied to us, Sam.”

He shook his head, his focus on Terell again. “I don’t think so. Jim was probably confused. Besides, the girl Jim saw might not have been Flora. You don’t know for sure.”

“Of course it was Flora. Jim Slater was chasing her. She was so frightened of him that she climbed through a broken window, hid in the garbage bin and slashed her arm with a piece of glass.”

“You’re saying Jim was chasing Flora? That doesn’t sound like something he would do.”

“At this point I wouldn’t put anything past the guy,” Terell groused. “I couldn’t believe he and his pal were tearing down our fire escape door. The last time I saw Jim Slater, he was over in that far corner with—” He paused and a light flickered over his face. “Wait a second. I
did
see Flora today. Jim Slater was in the corner talking to her.”

“Terell,” Ana asked, her heart thumping heavily. “What do you know about Flora?”

“Not much. She slips into the building and goes right to her corner. Most of the day, Flora stays huddled in a ball with her forehead against the wall. I’ve gone over there a few times and tried to talk her into playing basketball. She curled up like a dead spider and wouldn’t even look at me. Never said a word, just sat there trembling all over.”

“We think Flora’s been molested,” Sam said.

Terell’s face went hard. “Molested? At Haven? Inside our building?”

“It’s possible.”

“No way. You and I rotate all the time, Sam. We look in on the bathrooms and the classes. I’m always checking things out—though I have to admit I’ve mostly been looking for drug deals going down, fights breaking out or kids passing booze around. Maybe a volunteer could have taken a kid up to the third floor and…Well, that’s perverted, Sam. I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Somebody hurt Flora.” Sam’s words held a note of veiled accusation. “She told Ana she sees the person at Haven.”

Terell crossed his arms over his chest. “We’d better find that sicko, and quick. Did Flora tell you who it was? I guarantee, I’ll wrench his neck right off his body.”

“Sam suggested Raydell,” Ana said.

“Nah. Not him. He’s been in trouble before, but we count on him. Raydell wouldn’t hurt a little girl.”

Sam swallowed. “She was afraid of you tonight, Terell.”

“She about scared the living daylights out of me, too. First I hear voices coming from the trash, and next thing I know something comes flying out at me.” He paused. “Wait a minute. What are you saying, Sam? You think she was scared of
me.
You think
I
might have molested Flora?”

“Did you?”

The men eyed each other. Terell’s fists were clenched, and Sam had leaned forward as if ready to take on the taller man at the first flinch.

“You work at Haven,” Sam said. “You’ve had problems in the past—drugs, women. Kids hang on you—especially the little ones. And tonight Flora screamed and ran off when she saw you. We’ve been friends most of our lives, Terell, but right now I don’t know what to think.”

“I know what to think. You’re nuts.” Terell stepped toward Sam menacingly. “
You
work at Haven, man. You’ve had problems. Kids hang around you. So explain why you’re blaming me for this girl’s problems.”

Ana cleared her throat. “Sam, I’m beginning to think Jim Slater might have something to do with it.”

“Jim Slater runs an adoption agency,” Sam growled, his eyes still on Terell. “He cares about kids.”

“I may have been wrong about Terell,” Ana said. “Jim fits the profile much better.”

Terell turned on her. “
You’re
the one who put all this in Sam’s head?”

Ana blanched. “The abuser could be anyone, Terell. I don’t like to make accusations, but Flora is terribly frightened. She’s hurting herself because of it—and she says someone at Haven is responsible. I’m beginning to think we ought to consider Jim Slater as a possibility. He’s always around kids—his adoption agency, the church nursery, Haven. Flora said she sees Primero at Haven, and you told me Jim’s there a lot. The most significant thing, Sam, is that Jim brings children to Missouri on airplanes. From Honduras.”

“Come on, Ana. You know Jim. You go to church with the guy. You’ve worked together in the nursery. If he’d been inappropriate with a child, you would have noticed. He visits Haven, sure—but his goal is to improve the place, not molest the kids. Jim is a good man. You’ve said so yourself.”

Ana raked her fingers back through her hair. The night was hot, and the men’s tempers had flared to the point of combustion. Worse, she had begun to believe that Terell was innocent, and that Jim Slater—one of the most upstanding men in St. Louis—might be a pedophile.

“Let’s all go get a root beer,” she suggested. “We need to sit down somewhere cool and quiet to talk this through.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Terell said, his dark eyes locked on his friend. “I’m not moving till you apologize to me, Sam Hawke.”

“I’ll apologize when I’m sure you’re not touching our kids,” Sam retorted. “When Flora saw you, she took off like she’d been bit.”

“Sam,” Ana said, “she reacted the same way to you. Remember when you looked into the trash bin? Flora gasped, and it was all I could do to hold her down. She’s afraid of men. All men.”

Looking down, Sam shook his head. “This is unbelievable. We run hundreds of teens through Haven every day. The abuser could be anyone. Listen, Terell, I apologize for jumping on you. When I heard Flora scream and watched her climb out of that garbage bin like the devil was after her, I was freaked out. You can see how things seemed to add up.”

“All I can see is a false friend. And for the record, I would never accuse you of anything like that. Never—not ever. I love you.”

“T-Rex,” Sam said, his shoulders sinking. “I love you, too. You know that.”

“Nah, don’t even go there, dog. It’s like those verses we read in the Bible the other day, and I said that’s how I felt about you. If you love someone, you’ll always be loyal to him, you’ll always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him.”

“First Corinthians, thirteen. Terell, I’m sorry, man.”

“Sorry nothing. You showed your true colors.” He turned away. “I’m going to bed.”

Ana’s heart ached as she watched the tall man stride to the front door and disappear through the metal detector. The sting of betrayal was written in every footstep. As she faced Sam again, she read the misery on his face.

“I blew it,” he said. “I’d better go try to talk to him.”

“It’s my fault, Sam.” Ana hugged herself. “I shouldn’t have been so insistent about Terell. The thing is, you’re responsible for the children who come into Haven. You have to keep your eyes open. Abusers work hard to look normal. They hold good jobs, go to church, sit on boards, play active roles in their communities.”

“How do you know all this?”

“They date, marry, have children,” she went on without answering his question. “All the while, they live a secret life. There’s a desire…a lust…for children. Pedophiles don’t see kids as humans. A child is an object. These men find ways to be around children…and they keep collections of…of…”

She covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh, Sam! Jim has a doll collection. And those cherubs. They’re statues of children.”

“He told us his wife collected them.”

“What wife? Have you ever seen a wife?”

“She died, remember?”

“How do we know that? Maybe he never had a wife.”

She clasped her hands together, trembling without even knowing why. “It’s got to be Jim Slater.”

“Now you’re jumping from Terell to Jim? Think what you’re saying, Ana. Remember at Jim’s house we saw those little girls waiting for their adoption paperwork to clear? He was watching them for their foster parents—providing respite for the caregivers. How much kinder can a man be? The girls had toys to play with and nice clothes. They didn’t look anything like Flora. They weren’t scared. They were happy.”

“But Sam, everything Jim does is about children. He’s Primero, don’t you see? He’s the first man Flora knew in this country. He brought her here on an airplane…with her sister.”

He caught her hands in his. “Ana, you’ve accused Terell and now Jim Slater. Are you going to run through the list of every volunteer at Haven? Is every male who walks through that metal detector a suspect? We’re not even sure what Flora told us is true.”

“But you’ve made things too easy for a predator. Despite your metal detector, your dog and your constant patrolling, Haven isn’t safe.”

“Is any place completely secure? We’re doing our best.” Sam shook his head. “Terell is all over the building. He has time and opportunity. So do I. Why do you doubt him and trust me?”

“I’ve watched you. Studied you. Listened to you. I’ve done the same with Terell.”

“You’ve been onto this for a while—this situation with Flora. Why didn’t you speak up?”

“Because I’m not sure, Sam. Flora says she’s been molested by someone at Haven, but she’s uncertain of details. What she says sounds far-fetched—unless you fit Jim Slater into the picture.”

“Terell’s the man with a past. Slater’s an outstanding citizen of this city. So why have you changed your mind about Terell and decided Jim is the culprit? What’s the difference?”

“Empathy. When I first met Terell and saw that little blond girl with a slap mark on her face, I suspected him of abuse. I didn’t like the way Brandy was sitting on his lap, either. But since then, I’ve seen her tagging after Terell like a little puppy. Brandy’s not afraid of him. She adores him.”

“I can clear Terell of that charge right now, Ana. I saw Brandy come into the building with a bruise on her cheek that day. She was sobbing her eyes out, and she walked from the front door right to me. I was busy sorting out a fight, so I gave her…well, I gave her to Terell. That’s what I do with all the sobbing kids.”