These Sheltering Walls: A Cane River Romance (36 page)

            “Wait,
you have some sort of magical insight into why she’s shutting me out and you
never said anything?”

            “Listen,
it’s just a guess. She was terrified and in shock. I don’t even think she was
aware of what she was saying.”

            “I
don’t understand what I did wrong,” Gideon said. He shouldn’t care. That
chapter of his life was closing.

            “You
acted like a hero.”

            He
didn’t expect any real explanation but that didn’t any sense at all. “But
everybody loves a hero, right?”

            “Not
when you’re married to them. Not when you’re the one waiting for them to come
home at night. It takes a really brave sort of person to love a hero, Gideon.” Tom
faced him, the same look on his face he always had when he was going to tell it
straight, and he knew Gideon wouldn’t like it. “I think she’s in love with you.
If you’re serious about Henry, you can’t treat your life as disposable anymore.
It’s different now. You acted as if your life was yours to throw away. You did
when you were fifteen, and you still are.”

            Gideon
wanted to say that his life wasn’t worth much, anyway, but he realized he
didn’t believe that completely. Not anymore. He closed his eyes, trying to get
his thoughts straight.  He had nothing to offer her. He was an unemployed ex
con whose life’s work was now out of his reach. “I’m so confused,” he
whispered.

            Tom
crouched down beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Remember what you
believe.”

             “I
don’t know what I believe. Not now.”

            “Do
you trust me?”

            He
trusted Tom with his life. “Yes.”

            “Then
let me help you. I didn’t last time. I let you take the fall for both of us. I
was just as guilty but you were the one who went to prison.”

            As
long as they’d known each other and as close as they were, Gideon had never
really taken Tom’s advice. He’d always made his own decisions, charted his own
course. “But I’m right. I know I am.” He sounded less than sure.

            “Promise
me you won’t do anything about this for a few days.”

            Gideon
blinked, images flashing through his mind. The man in the gas station, Henry,
his parents, Austin, his life in Natchitoches, Barney Sandoz, his baby sister.
He was so exhausted he couldn’t tell what was past and what was present, what
was true or false.

            “Okay,”
he said. The tickets were booked for the weekend. He would just sit tight and
wait.

            Tom
slumped against the chair but a moment later, he cocked his head, listening.
Then he was at the door, looking out the screen. “Did you know she was coming
today?”

            “Who?”

            “Henry,”
Tom said. “She just pulled up in your driveway.”

                                                            ***

            “I’ll
talk first, okay?” Henry said to Blue. She tugged her ponytail tight. She felt as
if she were girding herself for war.

            “Fine
by me,” Blue said. He looked nervous.

            She
put a hand on his arm. “Thank you. Again.”

            “Anything
for a friend,” he said and flashed her a smile. “Even if it means telling your
scary boyfriend that he has to let me defend him.”

            “He’s
not that scary,” she said. “And we’re not actually…he’s not my… not anymore.” 
It hurt too much to explain so Henry simply pushed up her glasses and shrugged.

            “I’m
sorry to hear that.” Blue grimaced. “Is it because of the murder? They’ll find
out who did this, don’t worry.”

            “No,
it was before.” She didn’t know what else to say.

            “Boy,
not lookin’ forward to going inside now. I’m glad Father Tom is here since I’m
walking in with Gideon’s ex-girlfriend and a briefcase full of his secrets.”

            She
opened the door and got out, refusing to let herself imagine Gideon’s reaction.
He was just going to have to deal with it. She wasn’t going to let an innocent
man go to prison, especially one she loved.

             Looking
up at the little white farmhouse, she felt her heart squeeze in her chest.
She’d never been to his home before. She wished it was under different
circumstances, but then reminded herself that he was a very private person.
There was a reason she hadn’t ever seen where he lived. Maybe that would have
happened in time, but it was off the table now.

            She
pushed up her glasses and headed for the porch. As much as she wanted to talk
about what had happened between them, and as much as she needed to apologize
for refusing to answer his phone calls, his legal problems came first.

                                                                        ***

            “What
are they doing here?” Gideon paced the room, glancing out the door every now
and then. He could see Henry and Blue talking in the car.
Together.
Maybe she’d gone back to him after she and Gideon had… he didn’t even know what
they had been or how to describe how it ended.

            “Take
a deep breath and sit down,” Tom said. “I’m sure they’ll explain when they get
out.”

            As
if on cue, Henry opened her door and walked toward the house, Blue following
behind. Gideon took a moment to drink in the sight of her. The ponytail and
glasses were back, bright lipstick in place. Her dark blue dress was fitted
perfectly to her curves and the matching high heels gave her a professional
air. She looked like she was attending a business meeting. This definitely
wasn’t a social call.

            Seconds
later she was at the door and he opened it before she could knock, waving her
inside. As he and Blue shook hands, he saw a flash of nervousness in his eyes. Blue
was afraid of him and Gideon allowed himself a bit of satisfaction at the
thought.

            Henry
perched on the couch and pushed up her glasses. The gesture was so familiar it
made his chest ache. She had a folder in her hands and she fiddled with the
edge for a moment, as if not knowing where to start. “I heard the board removed
you from your position at the archives.”

            “I
didn’t kill Barney Sandoz,” he said, trying to ignore the fact he’d just been
discussing his plans to kill someone else.

            “I
know.” She wasn’t looking directly at him and he wished she would. “That’s why
we’re here.”

            “But
it looks bad,” Blue said. “You have to admit that.”

            Gideon
shot him a look. He didn’t know why he had to admit anything. “How can I help
you two?”

            Henry
cleared her throat. “Blue has agreed to represent you. He’s going to go with
you to the police and make sure they have everything they need to clear you
from the list of suspects. If they make it official, the board will have to
reinstate you.”

            “I
was just there.” Gideon skipped over the representation part. He wasn’t going
to get a lawyer until he had to, and he certainly wasn’t going to team up with
Blue.

            “Listen,
the longer you let people believe you’re a suspect, the harder it will be to get
your job back,” Blue said.

            The
kid was deluded if walking into the police station with a lawyer was going to
fix anything. “I don’t care what people believe.”

            “Clearly,”
Blue said.

             “But
think about the collection” Henry said. “You want to make sure it stays with
the archives, that all your hard work isn’t lost over this.”

            “
Our
hard work,” he corrected. “There’s nothing that can be done to fix this
situation.”

             “Blue
will go with you and explain the extenuating circumstances of Mark Daniel’s
murder. Revenge isn’t the same thing as a conflict over historical papers.”

            Gideon
hardly heard the last part of her sentence. “Extenuating circumstances?”

            “Yes,
about your family and how they died.” She seemed unsure now. “It’s not really
common knowledge.”

            “That’s
the way I preferred to keep it.” It seemed the whole city wanted to know what
happened that night, all the horrible details. And the idea of Henry talking to
Blue, her old-maybe-new boyfriend pushed a button inside and he couldn’t shake
the deep feeling of betrayal. “That wasn’t your story to tell.”

             “I
didn’t think it was a secret. You talked about it that night at dinner, with
Bix and Ruby.”

            “They’re
my friends. I don’t run around telling just anybody.”

            Her
face had gone red. “I was trying to help. I didn’t realize you didn’t care whether
you went back to prison or not.”

            “There
are worse things,” he said. He wanted to stop himself, but he couldn’t.

            A
sheen of tears appeared in her eyes but when she spoke, her voice was steady. “And
I also think you should consider the fact that an old prison acquaintance might
be involved. Or that man you were trying to mentor. If things ended so badly
between you, he might have a motive for framing you.”

            Gideon
straightened up in shock. He couldn’t have Henry saying that kind of thing around
town. It was like painting a bull’s eye on her back. He thought of the man in
the gas station and what he would to do someone like Henry. “Stay away from
him. You have no business poking around in this. You both need to go home and
let me handle it.”

            “It
doesn’t look like you’re doing such a great job of
handling
it.” Henry
was angry now. She stood up, dropping the folder to the couch. “You’ve already
lost your job and as far as I know, you’re about to be charged for a murder you
didn’t commit and aren’t even bothering to fight it.”

            “It’s
not that simple.”

            “No,
if anything was simple, it’s this. You’re innocent. Don’t let them put you back
in prison.” Her fists were clenched at her sides.

             “You
don’t understand.”

            “Then
help me understand.”

            “I
can’t,” he shouted.

            “Now,
hold on. Everybody just take a step back.” Tom held up a hand to both of them.

            Everything
had gone wrong so quickly. He never wanted to hurt her.  Gideon turned his back
on the room and tried to calm down. Three months ago he never would have lost
his temper like that. The control he’d so carefully built up was slipping away,
like sand through his fingers, like everything else in his life.

            Gideon
wished they would all just go and leave him alone.  But more than anything, he wished
he could go back before the fire, when his life’s work was still intact, back
when Henry was his friend and a few kisses made her forget what she was saying.
But if there was one thing he’d learned in his life, it was that you could
never wish yourself into the past. You could only move forward. As dark and
hopeless as the path was, there was no turning back.

“But you can't make people listen.
They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the
world blew up around them. It can't last.”

― Ray Bradbury

            Henry
watched Gideon’s back and blinked away tears. This was a disaster. She’d come
here with the best of intentions and now Father Tom had to break up their fight
like a playground monitor.

            Gideon
bowed his head, looking utterly defeated. Then he turned and said, “I’m sorry I
yelled at you.” His voice was rough, and she could see the sorrow and shame in
his eyes.

            “I’m
sorry I badgered you.”

            He
nodded his acceptance and it took everything she had to keep from reaching out
to him. He looked exhausted. His shuttered look told her more than anything he
could have shouted at her. He’d lost hope. He’d lost everything. And that was a
dangerous place to be.

             She
looked at Blue, then at the folder she’d left on the couch. “I can’t force you
to do anything. Nothing I can say will change your mind if it’s made up, but I
need to say something.”

            He
waited quietly but his shoulders hunched a bit more.

            “I
don’t want you to do anything foolish.”

             “Like
get revenge on the person who did this?”

            “No,”
she said. “That’s not what I meant.” It was hard to organize her thoughts when
he was looking at her like that.

            “I
can understand why you’d be concerned, but I’m not going to go on a murderous
rampage.” There was the hint of something in his tone that made a chill go up
her spine. It wasn’t quite a lie. It wasn’t quite the truth.

            Henry
pushed up her glasses and felt her hand trembling. She looked at Father Tom,
then Blue. Both of them were watching her as if she could fix the situation and
she couldn’t. She was only making it worse.

            She
came toward him, slipped her hand into his, hoping he wouldn’t shake off her
touch. He said nothing, just closed his eyes for the briefest moment.

            “I
know you,” she said. It came out in a whisper. “You’re not a murderer, Gideon.
But I’m so afraid you’re just going to accept what’s happening because pointing
fingers might put other people in danger.”

             “You
don’t know these people, how they work, the way they can get to every person
you care about.”

            “If
you go back to prison, it would hurt the people you care about, too.”

            His
gaze shifted from her to Father Tom, and it seemed as if a conversation passed
between them. “You’re saying I have an obligation to them?”

            Henry
froze. His question was vague on the surface but she heard the subtext. He was
asking
her
. He wanted to know if he owed her anything and all she had to
do was tell him yes. Now was the moment she should give a speech about how much
she loved him and how she couldn’t live without him, and then he would agree to
let Blue help.

            Her
mouth went dry. She’d never asked anyone to stay. She’d never asked to be put
first. It had always been easier to walk away at the first hint of conflict. She
thought of what Patsy had said, about how she viewed everything through the
lens of Kimberly’s abandonment.

             “Please
let us help you. I need you here,” she said and the words sounded absurdly loud
in her ears. 

            “Seems
a lot of people want to help me today,” he said, trying to sound as if he
didn’t think much of those offers, but his eyes were soft with gratitude. “I
need to shower but I can meet Blue down there in an hour.”

            Henry
wanted to throw her arms around him but something in his posture kept her from
getting any closer. “Thank you.”

            “It’s
not as simple as you imagine,” he said, more to himself than anyone else. Guilt,
shame, and something else passed over his face more quickly than she could
grasp. “I just don’t want anyone―”

            “To
get hurt. I know. But we can’t let you sacrifice yourself, either.” Henry was
surprised at how easy it was to speak now, as if that one admission of how much
she needed him cleared the way for all the words she couldn’t say before. “I
won’t allow it.”

            Gideon
smiled down at her and she felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight.
She’d missed his voice, his smile, everything about him.

            “You’re
almost as bossy as Tom is.”

            “You
haven’t seen the half of it,” she said.

                                                                        ***

            Gideon
headed for By the Book, noticing how empty the sidewalk was and figured most
people were at work. It was strange to be wandering around the Historic
District in the middle of the day. It had been a full week since he’d been
fired from his job but it seemed like months. It had been the same amount of
time, almost to the day, since he’d gone down to the station with Blue he’d offered
to tell them what he knew.

            At
first, Reisler had thought Gideon was turning in his accomplice, since Reggie’s
fingerprints were a match to those found on Sandoz’s body. By the time they’d
decided to bring Reggie in for questioning, he’d disappeared.  A cloud of
suspicion still hovered over Gideon, but the police were actively hunting
another suspect. Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough for the board to clear him
to come back to work.

            The
sun was warm but the breeze from the river carried the reminder that Halloween
was just around the corner. And with it, Duane Banner’s release from prison.

            Against
his strongest instincts, Gideon had also given a statement on what he’d learned
in the little gas station on the way out of town. Reisler knew exactly who
Gideon was describing. A well-known gang member named Rick LaRule had come back
to town and although the police couldn’t prove it, the gangs extorted money
from a group of small gas stations along that route.  LaRule had disappeared
like smoke but Gideon hadn’t expected him to be taken in for questioning. Men
like that lived off the radar.

            Gideon
stepped around a group of laughing teens and thought of how most of the city
had no idea of the crime that lived under the surface, near the shadows. Reisler
confirmed that LaRule had bunked with Banner for several years, so far the
police hadn’t charged Banner with plotting to murder the informant. Gideon
hadn’t been surprised. If it was true. Banner wouldn’t leave any evidence,
before or after his crime.

            In
exchange for the information, Gideon asked for round-the-clock police for Tom
and Henry, but Reisler hadn’t thought it was necessary. Gideon walked out of
the station feeling as if he’d taken an enormous risk and with no payback. Every
night since then, he dreamed of Henry or Tom pleading for help, a shadowy
figure lunging toward them, hands outstretched. He’d wake in a cold sweat and
get out of bed, turn on all the lights and check the doors.  It would take
hours for the anxiety to fade, leaving him exhausted and irritable. He wished
there was something, anything else he could do. But Tom was right. He had taken
on the role of vigilante before and it had been the worst mistake of his life.
He knew better now. All he could do was hope the police could prevent another
death.

            The
door to By the Book was propped open and the smell of fresh brewed coffee
wafted out to greet him as he stepped through the doorway.

            “There’s
my favorite historian,” Bix said as Gideon crossed the foyer. He had a pen
tucked behind one ear and an armful of paperbacks. “Oh, I guess I can’t say
that anymore, since Miss Henry arrived. I can’t really choose between you. I
sure enjoy that gal. She just puts the pepper in the gumbo. Don’t you agree,
Alice?”

            “Sure
do,” Alice said, and something her smile made Gideon wonder if there was a
story there somewhere. “Scoot, Van Winkle.” She stacked papers on the desk,
nudging a fat tabby cat out of the way. “I’m happy to see you out and about,
Gideon. When I heard about your troubles, Paul said we needed to find you the
best defense lawyer in the country, but Bix told me you already hired Blue
Chalfant.”

            “I
did,” he said. Alice was looking at him without a hint of fear or wariness,
unlike most of Natchitoches.

            As
if reading his mind, Alice said, “You’re wondering why I’m assuming you’re
innocent.”

            “Well,
truth be told… yes.”

            “He’s
my friend. ‘Course he didn’t kill that ol’ con artist.” Bix puffed out his
chest.

            Gideon
appreciated Bix’s loyalty but Alice would be a fool to take his word at face
value.

            “It’s
because of Henry, actually. She believes you’re innocent and if she does, I
will.” Alice cocked her head, a slight smile touching her lips. “I haven’t
quite figured it out, but there’s something different about her. Do you know
what I mean?”

            “I
do.”

            “She’s
a sweet gal. Real quiet, though. And she gets this funny look on her face
sometimes, like she’s thinking about something far away,” Bix said, setting the
books down on the counter.

            Alice
said, “Well, we know you’re innocent and I hope the board gets their heads on
straight and gives you back your job soon.”

            “Me,
too. They’re still processing my appeal. I can understand their desire to be
cautious,” Gideon said. It made him sick to imagine his leave of absence being
permanent but they’d taken a chance when they hired him three years ago. It was
a one-strike-you’re-out sort of situation. Gideon could only hope they would
realize this wasn’t a strike.

            “It
was a real shock to hear you found Barney stone cold dead, right in your own
house,” Bix said.

            “I
wager it was a bigger shock for Gideon than for you,” Alice said, sending him a
sympathetic look.

            “Yes,
ma’am.” He didn’t bother to elaborate. He hadn’t had a good night’s sleep
since.

            “And
rightly so,” Bix said. “And they still haven’t found the culprit?”

            Gideon
shook his head.

            “Well,
maybe the jambalaya feed will bring him out of hiding,” Bix said. “Nothing like
a pan of sausages sizzlin’ in a pan, or the smell in the house when you got a
whole fryer chicken cut up and cookin’ away in the oven. I always add a little
chicken fat to my pan before I start to brown the rice. It’s real different
from lard, although my cousin Shirley swears by two week old bacon grease. Says
if you use it and pour it back in the jar it’s better than any―”

            “Excuse
me,” Alice said, walking around the counter. “I’m just going to get some air.”
Her face was pale and there was a light sheen of sweat on her forehead. A large
black cat appeared at the top of the range and fixed Gideon with an accusatory
stare.

            They
watched her leave and then Bix said, “Shoot. I keep forgetting Miss Alice has
got that sensitive stomach. She never used to be that way. We could talk food
all day. Now that a baby is on the way, she can’t hardly hear about food or she
gets sick.”

            Gideon
blinked. He hadn’t heard Alice and Paul were expecting a baby. Of course, it
was the natural step after a couple got married, but Paul spent a lot of time
in New York City. If Paul didn’t change his living arrangement, he wouldn’t be
there to protect them if they needed help or someone broke in. Gideon had
always hated the thought of Henry living over the bookstore. Maybe some night a
thief would break in, and then realize there might be better things to steal―
or worse― upstairs.

            “Gideon?
What can I help ya with?” Bix had a look on his face that told Gideon he’d
already asked once before but he hadn’t heard him over his own anxiety.

            “I
was looking for some poetry.” He waved a hand toward the section. “I’ll just go
browse.”

             Bix
ignored that last part and picking up a lithe, graceful cat with golden brown
eyes. “Come on, Miss Elizabeth. Our book sortin’ can wait. The man needs some
poetry.” He put her over one shoulder and headed for the poetry range, the cat
watching him with an amused expression. A Siamese darted out from behind the counter
and followed them, yowling petulantly. “And you, Mrs. Bennet. We can’t leave
you behind, of course.”

            Gideon
had no choice but to follow.

            “Looking
for anyone in particular?”

            “Sara
Teasdale. I got a collection of hers for my birthday and I’d like to see what
other volumes you have in stock.”

            “Oh,
we have a few others, I’m sure.” Bix turned and shot him a sly smile. “For your
birthday, huh? From anybody special?”