Their Heart Search: Bethany & Jordan's Story (Search Series) (13 page)

“I thought I was,” she spit at him. He sighed at her words.

“Bethany, come on, baby,” he begged, moving towards her. She took a step back.

“I need time.” He sighed. “You promised me you wouldn’t push, well you did and now I need space!” She said storming out of the apartment. He didn’t follow, he couldn’t. He had promised to not push.

What he needed now was leverage. He checked the time on his phone before dialing. The minute the call picked up Jordan spat, “What the fuck man? She’s impossible.” Okay so the space this week had gotten to him. That first night after Raiden and Tai got engaged they did sleep in the same bed. She had a dream and he held her close, but everything changed in the morning. He didn’t understand.

“Dude, if this is about Bethany, you need to give her room to maneuver. She was stuck in a zone for so long she thought she was going to be forced to marry me. She never got close to anyone because she was afraid of it crushing her when I didn’t settle down.” Jordan thought about Raiden’s words, it was true.

“But you did, Raiden,” he spat out. Why didn’t she see that?

“Yeah, I did, man, but maybe it hasn’t completely sunk in yet.” What the hell was he saying? Did she not want him to settle down? What was the night after the kidnapping then? She kissed him first that night.

“Are you saying she had feelings for you?” He didn’t want to ask, but he had to know.

“No Jordan, no more than a friendship. I meant that maybe it hasn’t sunk in that she is free. Look, dude, she’s never been with anyone except a few kisses, as far as I know anyways.” Jordan lost his voice as Raiden’s words echoed in his head. Was she a virgin? Oh, fucking idiot! How did he not see that? “Jordan.” Raiden spoke pulling Jordan from his thoughts.

“Are you saying she’s a virgin?” Raiden chuckled a little this was not fucking funny. He was being serious.

“Yeah, dude, that’s what I’m saying, but I could be wrong.” Jordan did not think Raiden was wrong in this case. “Just take things slow with her, she cares she does.” Jordan knew she more than cared, she just had to let herself fall the rest of the way. He’d catch her he would.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll let you go. I know Tai’s dad is due in soon.” Jordan just hung up, no goodbye.

The apartment door opened and she just stood there in the doorway and stared at him. What did he say?

Bethany

She was being unfair to him, but she had let him get too close without him knowing the truth. Everything circled in her head that night, Kai and her had sex, Raiden and Tai were engaged, she was free, she kissed Jordan, she loved him, Kai kidnapped Tai, it was a giant mess.

“Are you going to talk to me, beautiful?” he asked cautiously.

“I’m scared,” she whispered.

“Of what?” he asked standing and walking towards her.

“Of what you’ll think of me.” She hoped that made some sense.

“Beautiful, nothing would turn me away, not even you being a virgin.” Her eyes widened. Who told him that? “You’re not, are you?” he asked clearly reading her face. She shook her head. “Tell me, please,” he pleaded. She nodded and walked towards the couch. He followed her. She didn’t sit, she didn’t face him; she closed her eyes and prepared herself.

“Just once,” she whispered.

“Okay, with who? No wait, that doesn’t matter.” She turned around, because it did matter.

“Kai.” She said locking her eyes with him. He stared at her and fell to the couch. “See, it does matter.”

“Sit with me, beautiful. Tell me.” She sighed, he really cared. He really wanted to know. Well here goes nothing.

She sat down and he pulled her into his lap. She liked this position it helped to calm her. “When we were twenty-one Kai was changing, but he hadn’t changed enough for me to write him off. Raiden and Kai’s friendship was strained. We both knew there would come a time when Kai finally bought into what his father believed.” Jordan nodded and she continued, “Raiden and I both assumed that when our meeting with the elders came up Kai would just go Dark Night. Get it over with.”

“I’m confused,” he stated, she nodded.

“There are two kinds of vampires, those like myself, Raiden, Kai, my mom and then there are Dark Night or your typical vampire. Most of the elders are Dark Night.”

“I thought Lee was in charge.” She nodded.

“He is, but there is an elder panel. Lee’s idea to keep things in check. When you have a society of vampires, humans, half-breeds, and vampires living human lives you need help keeping it in check.” Jordan nodded.

“I understand that.” She inhaled, she had to tell him the rest.

“It was three weeks before we had to gather before the elders and make our choice. Continue as our parents chose for us or go Dark Night. It was an escape if we wanted it. I knew what I wanted until that night. The three of us were at my house. We were drinking. Raiden tried to cut me off and I hissed at him that we weren’t married yet so he couldn’t tell me what to do.” Jordan laughed.

“It’s really not funny.” She chuckled.

“Listening to you tell Raiden off would have most definitely been funny, beautiful.” She sighed maybe he was right; maybe there was some humor in this sad story.

“Well he left after that, but Kai stayed. Lukas and I had a connection. His relationship with Raiden was fading fast, but he talked to me. I didn’t want to give our friendship up.” She got off Jordan’s lap and walked towards the glass patio door.

He didn’t move it wasn’t lost on her. “Bethany, there isn’t anything wrong with that.” His words profound, she sighed.

“He told me after Raiden left the Lee and Melanie had screwed things up. I didn’t think he actually believed that to the fullest extent, but he claimed he did.” She stopped talking. How was she supposed to tell this man that she loved what happened next? How was she to explain it when just a week prior that man she desired to be with once had kidnapped the ex-fiancée of the man she wanted now? The fiancée of her best friend.

“Bethany, I’m not letting you off the hook. I need to know whatever it is that’s bothering you.” His arms wrapped around her and her back was pressed against his chest.

“Okay, so it goes like this…” She trailed off and remembered that night for Jordan and the events that followed.

“You don’t believe that, Lukas?” she replied taking a sip of her seventh beer for the night. She knew she should stop. In fact, Raiden had tried to cut her off, but she fought him on it throwing the fact they weren’t married yet in his face so he didn’t own her. Raiden sighed and left.

“I do. You don’t regret your life, knowing what you could have?” he fired back.

“No Kai, I like my life.” She answered on a sigh.

“Ha! Yeah right. You’re stuck marrying Raiden. You are happy with that fact?” She shrugged.

“It is what it is.” she said taking a long swig of the beer.

Kai pulled the bottle from her lips, his face close to hers. Her heart stopped. The truth was Kai was right, she didn’t want Raiden, and she wanted Kai. “What do you want, Bethany?” he muttered against her lips.

“You,” she breathed. She was tipsy and not in her right mind. She wanted Kai but this was wrong. His lips closed over hers and she couldn’t stop what happened next.

Kai carried her to her room and there they had sex. Kai Lukas took her virginity. “Doll, I’m going Dark Night in three weeks join me,” he whispered before vanishing.’

“Three weeks after, we were all standing in front of the elder panel. I was the youngest so I was last. Raiden was first then Kai. He crushed me when the word ‘Stay’ fell from his lips. I tried to talk to him, but got nowhere.”

“Kai!” She called once they were dismissed. He turned towards her and just shook his head before walking away.

“I can’t believe he didn’t choose dark night.” Raiden spoke coming up behind her as Kai walked away. Bethany shrugged at his words.

“I need to go,” she said hastily. She didn’t feel right and she feared…well, she feared what would now be the worst.

Raiden grabbed her hand and spun her around. They hadn’t talked since that night. Bethany hadn’t been able to face him after she slept with Kai. “Are you okay, Bethany?”

She just nodded. “I’m sorry about three weeks ago, Beth.”

“I know,” she said twisting away from him. She couldn’t do this, not now at least.

He turned her around and studied her. She hadn’t come out right and said it yet. She knew he was thinking about it though.

“You got pregnant, didn’t you?” he asked, his voice was gentle not harsh like she expected. She just nodded. “What happened to the baby, Bethany?” he asked pulling her back a little to really look at her. She bit her lip not sure if she could speak. “Beautiful?” he pressed.

“I didn’t have a choice. After that day, I knew the Kai Lukas I cared about was gone. I went to my mom and we didn’t tell a soul. Not my dad, not Raiden, not Lee, not Melanie. No One!” she stammered. He grabbed her into a tight hug right as the tears fell. She hated doing that, but it was the only choice.

“Shhh…I understand, beautiful.” She just sobbed into his arms. He picked her up and carried her to her room. Once she was on the bed, he brushed the tears from her cheek. She just studied him. What was he thinking?

“Jordan?” she questioned.

“It’ll be okay, beautiful. Rest.” He kissed her cheek and suddenly she did feel tired. She closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.

Jordan

Once she was asleep he made a phone call. He could accept what she told him. It happened years ago, but he could tell the heartbreak was still there. Not because she had feelings for Kai anymore, that way at least, but because she didn’t want to go through it again. He could understand that fear.