The Wife (3 page)

“L
ex, toss me a towel, would you, a stór?”

I looked down at my boyfriend and couldn’t imagine how I’ve gotten so lucky. I’m in love for the first time and everything he says or does makes me fall harder.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m an eighteen-year-old virgin. Or maybe it’s the fact that he’s calling me “his treasure” in Gaelic, but I’d been head over heels in love with Jamie since I first met him last summer. We met when we were put together with a group of other seventeen-year-old artist wannabes from around the country who were all trying to earn scholarships offered to counselors of this prestigious art camp hidden away in the Catskill Mountains. I’d always thought fate brought us together: two people from different worlds meeting in an unlikely place and falling helplessly in love.

I met Jamie on our first day at camp last summer when we were both assigned to lifeguard duties. It was the one and only time I was thankful my parents enrolled me in Junior Lifeguards as a kid every summer at Point Pleasant on the Jersey Shore. When we were introduced, he shook my hand and informed me that we were now best friends. I remember his deep dimples when he smiled, and the honesty that shined through his magnetic green eyes. He was a lot taller than me, at least six foot three, with muscles that seemed as if they were going to explode out of his tight black t-shirt, like the Incredible Hulk. His dark, shaggy hair brushed over his dark eyebrows, adding a sense of mystery to this foreign creature when he took my duffel bag and carried it to my cabin, making easy conversation with me as if we’d known each other for years. From that moment forward, we spent the entire summer together. We worked together, ate together, and went to all social activities together. Most of our other friends at camp thought there was something going on between us, but much to my dissatisfaction, Jamie kept our relationship strictly in the friend zone that first year.

When he kissed my cheek good-bye last summer, I felt it in places I didn’t know existed. That simple kiss on the cheek did more to me than any other kiss I’d ever experienced, and when he looked at me that day, his eyes said he felt the same.

From that moment on, we never went a day without speaking. He called or emailed every day, always excited to hear about the day in the life of his best American friend. As the calls and emails continued, I’d hope he was beginning to have feelings for the way I had developed for him, but he signed every letter,
Your Friend, Jamie
.

At first, our conversations were just as they had been at camp: playful and honest, but never intimate. I knew everything about his life in Ireland. I knew about his friends, and girlfriends too. I knew he lived with his father, and his mother had died when he was five, just like mine. We told each other everything. Everything except the fact that we were both falling in love with each other.

When he called me on Christmas Eve that first year apart, everything changed for us.

“Merry Christmas, Lex.” His normally casual, joking tone had a hint of sadness speckled in those three simple words.

I wondered whether the change in his voice was his frustration about setting an expectation of having to talk with me every day. I was always insecure when it came to Jamie. I knew he had a ton of friends and was very popular at his school as captain of the rugby team. I immediately thought that maybe the novelty of having an American friend had worn off.

“Merry Christmas, Jamie. I didn’t think you’d call today. I don’t want you to feel like you have to talk to me every day.” My voice betrayed my heart and I realized just how important his daily calls had become to me.

“Don’t say things like that. I’ve been waiting to call you all day, Lex. Talking to you is the best part of every day.” His admission made my heart thump against my flannel Christmas pajamas. He took a deep sigh. “I think about you a lot, Lex. Do you think about me?”

Whoa, that came out of left field.

My heart beat so fast and hard, I thought I would die right there and never get to hear the words I’d been dreaming about these past six months.

“All the time,” I said without hesitation.

He laughed and I smiled at my admission. “I feel closer to you than I’ve ever felt with anyone, Lex. I can tell you anything. I
do
tell you anything. I hate that I can’t be with you tonight. All I could think about at church was how much I wanted you at my side. I wanted to inhale the sweet vanilla scent of your hair. It seems to be all I can think about lately.” His rambling caught me too off guard that I didn’t dare interrupt him. He was saying everything I had dreamed about for so long. “Fuck, why do you have to live all the way across the ocean?”

He paused for an answer. I still couldn’t think clearly. “Are you drunk?” I was too scared to believe what he was saying to me.

He laughed again and I could almost see the half smile he would shoot me across the pool last summer. “Maybe a little.” During the brief pause he took, my heart broke apart into little pieces of lost hope. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I love you, Lex.”

Those three words were like nothing I’d ever heard before. I couldn’t imagine any three words ever meaning more to me than when they crossed his lips and hit my ears, going directly to my heart. I couldn’t speak. I was breathing too hard to get out the words.

“I know it can never work between us. I. Know. It. My friends remind me every day when I talk about you. But that doesn’t change the way I feel.” The way he was being honest and brave with his words was one of the many reasons I knew I loved him too. “Now I just want to know how you feel. I can’t go on this way, not knowing how you feel about me. I went through the entire summer hoping you’d fall for me like I had for you.”

Wait, what? He’d felt this way last summer and didn’t do anything about it?

I closed my eyes and pictured his face. “I love you too, Jamie. I really do. But what can we do about it?”

“We do what we’ve been doing, except you stop going out with all those assholes you’ve been dating and wait for me this summer. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. You’ll probably think I’m crazy, and maybe I am. I want us to apply to the same colleges. You know I want to come to the States for school. It’s what my mum always wanted. I will follow you anywhere, Lex.”

I laughed aloud, unable to hide my happiness, and felt a little crazy myself for having hope this could work out. “This is crazy,” I said in disbelief, “but I want nothing more, Jamie McCullen.”

Now, here we are, finally together again, and life has never felt so amazing. Every breath I take is sweeter when he’s around. Every leaf is greener, every sunset is more romantic, and every day is better with him in my life.

I tossed Jamie a towel from the lifeguard tower I’m perched in and watched him dry the glistening water off his perfectly sculpted body. I imagine running my hands all over his chest and feeling his bare skin pressed up against mine. He smiled up at me—knowing exactly what I’m thinking—climbed up the wooden ladder and used the rope of my whistle to pull me down for a kiss.

“You have a dirty mind, Miss Patterson,” he joked.

Although I couldn’t break my eyes from his, I tried to hold my ground, never wanting to give him the upper hand too easily. “I don’t know what you mean. I was just thinking you need a haircut.”

He laughed and shook his head. I’m splattered with water like a wet dog; the fire that was burning inside me cools and I find myself laughing like one of those giggling girls who drive me nuts.

“What time are you done here? I have something special planned for us tonight,” he asked with his sideways grin.

I blush at the way he’s looking at me, and had to look away so he didn’t notice my insecurity. Jamie had been so patient with me this summer, not pushing me to do anything I’m not ready for. But I know he’s ready. I know he’s been ready since we saw each other for the first time again a month ago. It’s not that I’m not ready; it’s just that I’m scared. I’m afraid that my lack of experience will disappoint him. I looked down at my watch, trying to calm my nervous breaths. “I have about another hour left on my shift. Then I’ll have…”

Jamie leaned across the ladder. His fingers slid through mine, calming my nerves with his one simple touch, and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. “Meet me at the dock at six o’clock sharp then.” He flipped over my wrist and placed a soft kiss on his favorite place that seemed to have a direct line to my heart and paused to look up at me with his lively eyes. “I love you so much, Lex.”

Before I could answer, he hopped off the ladder and walked away without another look back, giving me the perfect view to admire until he was out of sight. I leaned back in my chair, and looked out to the children splashing in the water before me, wondering if love always felt this special.

I imagined with Jamie, it would always feel this special. He said that loving someone was never easy for him. After he suddenly lost his mom in a car accident, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to love anyone again. He said he didn’t want to love anyone again. But when he met me, he had no choice in what his heart wanted.

I stood on the dock later that night, nervously tugging on the straps of my bright yellow sundress that flowed to my knees like bursts of sunshine. It complemented my sun-kissed skin in a way that seemed to make my light blue eyes seem almost crystal-clear. It wasn’t skimpy like many of the dresses girls my age wore, but it wasn’t frumpy either. It was Jamie’s favorite dress and I would do anything to make him happy tonight.

I felt silly for being so nervous about what he had planned for tonight. Everything had been so comfortable and easy between us since we arrived at camp that I seemed to keep waiting for something bad to happen. It’s how my life usually worked for me—just when things seem perfect, they all crashed down around me.