The Weight of Words (The WORDS Series) (46 page)

“Instead I rejected you, and I’m sorry for that. The look on your face when I pushed you away—it tortured me. You’re so beautiful, Aubrey. I imagine you spending time with single guys like Matt, and I can’t believe they don’t want to be with you. I was terrified that I’d lose you to someone else because I couldn’t move forward with you.”

“That’s crazy. I don’t want anyone else.”

I nodded, ashamed of my insecurities.

“It might seem crazy to you,” I said, “but trust me, it all made perfect sense to me on Saturday night. I did a lot of thinking the next day and came to an important decision—one that would allow me to be with you. I went shopping and bought you those gloves and packaged them up with my T-shirt and that note. I couldn’t wait to tell you what I’d decided. I convinced myself you’d be so happy that you’d forgive me for sending you mixed messages. But then we couldn’t seem to find a time to get together—I was even tempted to cancel my tutorial so we could get the hell out of there and talk.”

She looked at me expectantly. “What was it that you were so desperate to tell me?”

“I’d decided to withdraw from my position in Martin’s class. That’s how badly I wanted you. I was prepared to give up my position for you, Aubrey. For us.”

My heart pounded as I waited for her to react to my words.

“Daniel, that is
hands down
one of the most ridiculous things you’ve ever said.”

The blood drained from my face.
Ridiculous?

“I thought you’d be happy…” I faltered.

She sighed and shifted in her seat. “For an intelligent guy, you say and do some
really
stupid things sometimes.” She shook her head in exasperation.

I was completely dumbfounded.

“I thought you’d be thrilled when you heard I’d be willing to make that sacrifice for you.”

“Are you kidding me?” She flopped her head back against her seat, beyond irritated. What the hell? “Look, can we get out—go for a walk or something?” she said. “Something about us trying to have discussions in cars—I don’t know. It doesn’t work.”

She opened her door before I had a chance to respond. I climbed out, pulling on my overcoat and buttoning it up as I led her toward the sidewalk, instinctively reaching for her hand and threading it through the crook of my arm.

“Okay,” I said. “Why the hell was my decision so stupid?”

She stopped and put both of her hands in her pockets. It was like I’d been cut adrift and needed to grab on to her to keep me grounded. She was obviously pulling away for a reason, so I put my hands in my pockets too, trying to avoid appearing as uncomfortable as I felt. She gazed up at me earnestly.

“Think about it, Daniel. You love being Professor Brown’s TA. You should see yourself in tutorial. You become so, I don’t know, passionate—professorial—I don’t even know how to explain it. It’s obvious that you love it. You do, don’t you?” she asked.

“Yes, of course I love it. But isn’t that even more of a reason to appreciate what I was willing to give up to make things work? To not have to sneak around anymore? To not have to wait?”

“Maybe in theory, but do you think I want to be responsible for you giving up something that means so much to you?”

My heartbeat quickened as her face softened, her intensity gradually giving way to tenderness. How on earth could she possibly be so intuitive? I didn’t want to give up this position. It
did
mean a lot to me. But at what cost?

“Do you see what I mean now?” she said.

“I swear you understand me better than I understand myself sometimes.”

I thought about the strange niggling feelings I’d been having over the last few days—the hazy unformed thoughts hovering on the edges of my mind. Of course. That’s why I was so quick to assume she was messing around with Matt. I’d been considering dropping out of Martin’s class, but deep down, I wasn’t happy with the decision. Believing Aubrey had chosen another guy over me was merely my subconscious kicking in, fabricating a scenario that would give me another out. How could it have taken me a whole damn week to understand what she’d figured out in five minutes?

“So you’re not going to quit, right?” she pressed. “Promise?”

“I won’t. I promise. And God knows I don’t deserve you, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to give you up without a fight, either.” I stroked her cheek with the back of my hand. “Tell me you forgive me. Tell me I haven’t ruined everything with my pride and stupidity.” She looked up at me, her chin trembling. “Please say something. You’re killing me.”

And then she smiled—a small, reluctant upturn of her beautiful lips.

“I thought I’d never get to have a conversation with you where I wasn’t ‘Miss Price’ ever again,” she said, her voice wavering. She struggled to keep her emotions in check, and my heart clenched.

“I hate myself for what I’ve done to you this week. And today—you were so angry. Knowing I’m the one who’s responsible for that? I’m a prick.”

Aubrey nodded, and I couldn’t blame her. “I hate how emotional I’ve been this week. I’m not usually like this,” she said.

“You don’t have to beat yourself up for having feelings,” I assured her. “Believe me. I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs this week as well.”

She looked at me grimly. “So now what?”

I shoved my hands into my pockets again. “Well, I’m determined not to take you home until we’ve figured out where we go from here.”

“Literally or figuratively?” She turned to look at the two paths ahead of us which veered off in opposite directions. “I don’t think I’m up for a stroll on the beach. What’s that building over there?” she asked.

“Well, I kind of pulled into this lot on purpose. This is the Palais Royale. I’d love to take you inside and show you around. It’s beautiful. There are a couple of quiet spots where we could sit and talk. You game?”

“We definitely have lots to talk about.”

“Before we go in, can I do something?”

“Um, okay.”

“Can you please hold out your hands?” I waited for her to comply, her expression wary. I pulled her rainbow gloves out of my pocket. She smiled contritely and offered me a hand. I pushed a glove onto her left hand, followed suit with the right, and then clasped her fingers tightly. “I know these gloves are crazy and probably not what you would have picked out for yourself, but as soon as I saw them I couldn’t resist. You
do
want to keep them, I hope?”

“Yes, Daniel. I want to keep them. They may be crazy, but I love them. They’re perfect.”

“And you’ll try not to lose them?”

“I’m not going to let them out of my sight,” she whispered.

She glanced down at our joined hands before looking back up at me.

“Daniel—”

I didn’t wait to hear what she had to say. I pulled her against me tightly, encircling her with my arms, a surge of relief washing over me when her hands moved up to my shoulders. A familiar flicker of desire stirred within me when she snuggled into my neck, her warm breath tickling my throat.

How could I have failed to notice before how perfectly she fit there?

Aubrey

Chapter 28

Fair Words

Speak, fair; but speak fair words, or else be mute:
Give me one kiss, I’ll give it thee again,
And one for interest, if thou wilt have twain.
(
Venus and Adonis
)

M
Y
R
ESOLVE
W
ENT
C
OMPLETELY
D
OWN
T
HE
D
RAIN
. It was next to impossible to stay angry with him. He was so apologetic, so remorseful. And that damn song we’d heard in the car—how could I not react emotionally to that? How could I think straight with his arms around me and his whiskery cologne-scented jaw intoxicating me? Surely I couldn’t be faulted for wavering.

“You’ll never believe how much I’ve missed you,” Daniel whispered.

Yep. That did it. I was toast. “I missed you too,” I said, my face still buried in his neck.

He squeezed me tightly. “Mmm. It feels so good to hear you say that.” He pulled back to look at me. “You really do look beautiful tonight.”

“You look amazing too. Great suit.” I raised an eyebrow. “And, uh, nice hair.”

“I got it cut for you.”

“I knew this whole get-up was premeditated, Mr.
GQ
.”

He grinned broadly, his eyes sparkling. “Come on. Let’s get inside so I can have a good look at you.”

He took my hand, leading me down the pathway. As we neared the building, I heard music drifting out into the night. It wasn’t contemporary music, though. It sounded like—well, it sounded a lot like something from a nineteen forties movie.

“Is this a banquet hall?” I asked him.

“The Palais Royale? It’s a dance hall—a ballroom. There’s a live orchestra, and they play standards and jazz, big band tunes, that sort of thing.”

We entered the building together, the sound of band music traveling into the lobby from behind a pair of double glass doors. A young woman stood behind a long counter beside a cloakroom, and she smiled as we approached.

Before Daniel had a chance to speak to her, I grasped his elbow. “I’m just going to use the washroom first.”

“Of course. It’s over there, to the left.” He pointed to the other end of the lobby.

“I’ll be right back.”

Inside the washroom, I unbelted my coat and dropped it on one of the two white leather chairs flanking the wall by the door. I was instantly reminded of the lush restroom at Canoe.

A month.

That’s how long it had been since my night out with Matt. My stomach clenched with guilt. I’d raked Daniel over the coals for accusing me of being involved with Matt, and yet he
did
have some cause for assuming that Matt and I had more than just a close friendship. I shook my head to wipe out the memory of Matt’s tongue exploring my mouth.

No, no, no. This is not what I need to be thinking about right now.

I finished up in the washroom, checking the hair clips to make sure they were still holding my curls in place. Joanna really had done a great job. Satisfied, I grabbed my coat and headed back out to the lobby. At the counter, Daniel was chatting with the girl who’d greeted us.

“I’m sure that can be arranged,” I heard her say as I neared the counter. When she saw me approaching, she cleared her throat conspicuously.

“Oh, Aubrey, here, let me take your coat,” Daniel said, holding out his hand.

The counter-girl hung it up and then grabbed a set of keys from a drawer, telling us to follow her. I eyed Daniel curiously as we crossed the lobby, but he just took my hand and winked at me. Sexy bastard. The girl opened the door at the far end of the room and ushered us inside.

“Good luck,” she whispered to Daniel as she pulled the door closed.

“What was that all about?” I asked.

“I told her I’m in the dog house and I’d be forever indebted if she could arrange for us to have a quiet half hour in here.”

“In other words, you charmed her pants off?”

“I did what was necessary to secure some privacy. Anyway, never mind tactics, let me look at you.” He made a clicking noise in his cheek. “You look absolutely stunning. Beyond gorgeous, poppet, really.”

Okay. He was killing me. Talk? Did I say I wanted to
talk?
Talking was suddenly highly overrated.

“Listen, mister. Quit trying to distract me,” I said, scrambling to get back on track.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll try to behave. Come on over and sit.”

He led me to the cream-colored leather sofa. I settled into one of the cushions and took in the rest of the room. Plush red draperies hung beside the French doors which led to an outdoor deck or patio of some sort. A cherry-wood bar stretched the width of one of the walls. Delicate orchids in an elegant long-necked vase adorned the side table along the opposite wall beside another set of curtained French doors. The room was beautiful.