The Weight of Words (The WORDS Series) (39 page)

I was about to answer when my two remaining classmates moved past the desk.

“Thanks, Daniel. This is all good. See you on Wednesday,” the dark-haired guy said as he ambled past the podium and out the door. Now we were alone.

I turned back to look at Daniel.

“Sorry, Daniel, I have a study meeting with some people from my French class. We have a group presentation to plan. I have no idea how long it will take.”

He frowned. I got the distinct impression he thought I was lying, trying to put off our meeting. Nothing could have been farther from the truth.

“What about in the evening? Maybe after dinner? I’m sorry to push this, Aubrey, but we need to talk. I don’t want to protract this, and I
really
don’t want to do this over the phone.”

Protract
what?
Do
what
over the phone? This was sounding bad.

“Yes, I know, you indicated as much in your note,” I said.

“Oh, good, you got the package? I wasn’t sure I’d gotten it into the courier on time this morning, and I wanted you to have those gloves before you walked over from Vic.”

I imagined him rushing to the campus mail room first thing this morning to have the envelope deposited into the Vic mailbag and was touched by his thoughtfulness. My icy wall crumbled.

“Thanks for the gloves. You didn’t have to do that. It was as much my fault as yours that they got left behind on Saturday, but I appreciate it. And thanks for the T-shirt, too.” I smiled at him sadly, and this time he returned my smile with a wistful one of his own.

“Well, regardless of everything else, I still wanted you to have it,” he admitted, his tone softening slightly as well.

Regardless of everything else?

“So, tomorrow evening you don’t have a night class if I remember correctly. Can you spare an hour or so to talk then?”

“Julie and I are going out for dinner. There’s no way I’m canceling after the argument we had on Saturday. That would be adding insult to injury, don’t you think?”

“No, you’re right. I wouldn’t ask that of you.” He glanced at his watch, clearly agitated. “Listen, I have to get downstairs. Walk with me?”

We headed to the hall, and he locked the classroom door behind us. He stopped at the top of the stairs, speaking in a low voice.

“What about after your dinner with Julie? Do you think you’ll be finished by eight thirty or nine? I could pick you up. We could go for a drive…or something,” he said.

“That might work. We’re going to the Madison House. I could text you when we’re almost done.”

“That sounds perfect. I’ll go to Robarts Library, do some work, and then come get you. I’ll wait in the car for you.”

“I think that’s a great idea,” I said, grappling with my coat as we made our way down the stairs.

“Do you need some help?” he asked.

“No, I’ve got it.” I slid my hand ineffectually up and down the lining of my coat several times.

“Here.” He stopped on the bottom stair and grabbed the side of my coat while gently guiding my arm into the sleeve.

His voice, now so warm, his touch, so tender, almost brought tears to my eyes. He stepped off the bottom stair and turned to look at me, our faces level.

“I’ve made an important decision, Aubrey,” he said, almost inaudibly. “It’ll be good to talk this all through.”

Panic coiled in my stomach, but I tried to remain calm.

“I feel terrible about what happened on Saturday, but it crystallized some things in my mind, too. We have a lot to talk about.”

He searched my face for a moment, and then he sighed. “I have to go.”

“Of course. You’ve got a room full of people waiting for you.”

I needed him to go. If he kept standing there I’d be in his arms, begging him not to leave. I was beyond desperate for resolution. I had to know, one way or another, what the hell was going on with us.

“Okay. Well, have a good couple of days,” he said at last.

“I’ll try. You too.”

My hand itched to move toward his. I made myself remain still as he slowly turned and retreated, jamming both hands in his pockets as he rounded the corner. I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. When my phone buzzed in my coat pocket, I thought it might be a text from Daniel, typed quickly as he’d walked to the seminar room—some word of affection, some sign of hope.

It wasn’t. It was a text from Julie.

It was strange seeing all of his casual, uninterested glances now that I know everything.
So weird having inside scoop. Ttyl gf. -J

I grimaced. While she might have been right about Daniel’s demeanor in the past weeks, today I didn’t know how much effort was actually required for him to look indifferent. I carefully typed in a vague response.

I know…so crazy right? c u at 6:30 tomorrow. -A

I sighed, convinced I was going to drive myself insane trying to make sense of everything. I simply needed to bide my time until the next day. One way or another, I would soon know whether Daniel and I had a chance at a future together.

Chapter 23

An Impediment

This forenamed maid hath yet in her the continuance
of her first affection: his unjust unkindness, that
in all reason should have quenched her love, hath,
like an impediment in the current, made it more
violent and unruly.
(
Measure for Measure
, Act III, Scene 1)

I W
AS
A W
RECK
B
Y
T
UESDAY
A
FTERNOON
. After barely sleeping Monday night, I dozed through my four hours of classes on Tuesday and fumbled my way through my meeting with my classmates from my French course, overcompensating for my lack of attention during our session by offering to take on way too many responsibilities.

Returning home at the end of the meeting, I panicked as I realized the implications of volunteering to create an entire PowerPoint presentation with content they would email me over the next few days. What had I been thinking? I was more wordsmith than techie, but for some stupid reason I’d stepped up, and now I felt compelled to follow through.

I showered in a desperate bid to wake myself up. By six o’clock, I was presentable and absolutely starving. Certain I wouldn’t be able to wait an hour to eat, I headed to the kitchen for a snack. Matt was at the table eating a plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

“Did you use up all the hot water, or did you actually leave a couple of minutes’ worth for me?” he asked.

“Huh, I didn’t think you used hot water, horn dog,” I retorted, flicking his ear. I watched him shovel a few mouthfuls of pasta into his mouth. “Feel free to chew.”

“Don’t have time,” he explained through a mouthful of noodles. “Heading to the Kap house at six thirty. I want to make sure I get my share of the keg.”

“Need I remind you it’s a Tuesday night, dude? You have classes tomorrow.”

“Oh, quit being so sensible. Besides, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but our carefree-student days are numbered. Not much longer and I’ll be joining the world of the working stiff, falling asleep on the couch at eight o’clock every night. Gotta have fun while I still can.”

I smiled. Funny how time meant such different things to different people.

“Yeah, I guess so, but at the rate you’re going, you might as well throw your liver in a jar with some dill pickles.”

“Damn it, Aubrey, if you’re gonna nag me like a girlfriend, I should at least get some of the fringe benefits.”

He wiggled his eyebrows at me, smiling while stuffing his face.

“No comment,” I said, kicking his chair leg. “While we’re on the topic of nagging, though, you know what’s been kinda bugging me since Saturday? You acting like Molly Matchmaker for Ward. What’s up with that, anyway?”

He dropped his fork onto his plate and looked at me thoughtfully while he finished chewing.

“You want it straight?” he asked, adopting a serious tone.

“Of course.” I pulled out a chair to sit opposite him.

“Shawn’s a good guy. He likes you. I guess I hate the thought of you wasting your time on someone who’s not available. Shawn would treat you well; you know he would.”

I froze.
Someone who’s not available? He can’t possibly be talking about Daniel, can he?
I feigned confusion. “You lost me, dude. We both agreed our friendship is too important to risk, and I’m totally cool with that. If you think I’m still—”

“I’m not talking about you and me.”

Shit, I take it back. No cards on the table. Fuckity fuck, are we really going there? I’m not prepared for this.

“Sorry, cowboy. I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Look, I don’t want you to think I’m getting into your business. I just think it’s a bad idea to avoid a relationship with someone who’s available because you’re stuck on someone who’s not. So if me helping you see Shawn as a potential catch helps you get over whatshisname, then slap my ass and call me Molly.”

Was Daniel “whatshisname”? Could Matt really be that astute? Or was I simply that transparent? Or maybe he was fishing—throwing out a line to see if I’d bite?

I went with the latter, floundering as I tried to bring the conversation to a close.

“Wow, you’ve been watching too many movies. I appreciate you looking out for me and all, but you’re barking up the wrong tree, my friend.”

I grabbed a granola bar from the cupboard. I had to get out of that kitchen. I was simply no match for Matt and his insightful observations. If he
was
referring to Daniel, he was a little off the mark, perhaps assuming I was pining for someone who was, as far as he knew, attached to the beautiful Penny. But he wasn’t far off, and that scared me.

“Okay, whatever you say, Aub. I’m not gonna force the issue. I’m here if you ever want to talk about anything.”

I squeezed his shoulder and looked at him with perplexed amusement. “Well, thanks,
Dad
. I’ll remember that. Listen, I’m heading out. Have fun tonight, okay?”

“Yeah, you too,” he said, picking up his fork again. “Where you off to, anyway?”

“The Madison House. Grabbing dinner with Julie,” I said.

“Cool. I haven’t been there in ages. You’ll be careful out there, right?”

“Yes, dear,” I joked, escaping into the hall. I pulled on my coat and checked my pockets for my gloves. I wanted Daniel to see me wearing them when he picked me up.

Daniel.
In a few hours we’d be alone in his car, finally hashing everything out. I couldn’t let my nervousness ruin my dinner with Julie, though. I was bound and determined to enjoy our girl-time.

At six thirty-five sharp, Julie and I were tucked away at a table in the corner. I told Julie that Daniel and I were hoping to get together later for a coffee, and we ordered right away. By seven thirty, we were on our second drink and working our way through three platters of salty, greasy pub fare.

I scooped up a large dollop of guacamole with a nacho. “I’m surprised to see you eating this crap, Jul. What would your dance instructor say?”

“Oh, don’t remind me,” she groaned. “Sometimes you have to live a little, you know? I have to buckle down hard for the next five weeks anyway. I’ve got that huge showcase running from the end of April to early May. You know the one at Ryerson? You’re coming, right?”

“Of course. Make sure you put a ticket aside for me,” I said.

“For sure.” She smiled down at her chicken strip. “Maybe you can sit with Jeremy.”

“Oh, I see how it is. Making long-term plans now, are we?”

“He’s so amazing, Aubrey. I know I probably sound ridiculous after only a couple of dates, but man, I can’t help it. I could seriously fall for him so hard. As soon as I mentioned the showcase, he was all over it.”