The Warrior Sheep Down Under (8 page)

Still in their raft on the Rotapangi River, the warriors were also becoming aware of a smell. And it wasn't curry. With their fairy godtingy left far behind, they were floating helplessly on. But the river was getting wider. They could no longer see the banks on either side.

“I think,” said Wills, “it's become a lake. That's sort of bigger than a pond but smaller than the ocean.”

“Much smaller than the ocean, dear,” said Sal, who had very good eyesight. “I can see land. There, look.”

The sheep peered ahead over the rim of the raft.

“Is that what stinks?” asked Oxo.

They soon found out. The raft drifted across the lake and ran aground on a small beach, where the smell hung like a haze in the air.

“Phaw…” said Links, wrinkling his nose. “It's like that time Tod forgot to collect the eggs and they all went rotten, right?”

“And what's that funny noise?” asked Oxo suddenly. He scanned the beach, ready for action.

They all clambered from the raft and stood listening.

Bubble…Bubble…Plop…Bubble…Plop…Splat…Splash…Bubble…Bubble…

“Ohmygrassohymgrass…” whispered Jaycey. “What
is
that?”

“Better check it out,” said Oxo. He boldly led the way toward a narrow path on the far side of the beach.

The warriors walked in single file along the path, which wound through the strangest landscape they'd ever seen. The ground was completely flat and vividly colorful, as if great pots of paint had been knocked over and the paints had mixed together. Yellows ran into greens, which ran into reds and into blacks. A white salty film covered some areas, turning the reds pink. Nothing grew, not a single blade of grass. But weirdest of all were the bubbling pools of gray mud that were making the noise.

“Stick to the path,” said Wills. “Those pools look really hot.”

“But we
are
going the right way, dear,” Sal called excitedly from the back of the line. “Remember:

“Through foaming waters, Outback dire,

Through thirst and famine,
mud and mire
…”

“They forgot to mention the mud was boiling, man,” said Links.

“And stinking,” added Oxo.

“Keep going and stick to the path,” said Wills.

• • •

Shelly told Alice about the amazing mud pools of Wanageeki and Alice listened carefully. She was in dry clothes now, sitting in Trevor at Tickler's Turnpike. She was still deeply suspicious about the sheep but had decided it was ridiculous to blame Deidre. Nevertheless, she was bruised and aching all over, which was why Shelly was telling her about the mud pools. They were apparently “top banana” in the soothing and pampering stakes, and Alice longed for a bit of pampering.

“So have you got time to give it a go, d'you reckon?” asked Shelly.

As if on cue, the laptop on Deidre's knees pinged as an email came in. Deidre looked at it.

“From Mr. Creeply,” she said. “He's accepted the Turnpike photo.”

“So very generous,” snorted Alice.

“And he's giving details of the next challenge…” Deidre read silently, then, “Oh.”

“Shark wrestling?” asked Alice.

“No—not at all…Might even be nice. You've got to get to Australia first,” Deidre said. “To Brisbane.”

“What for?”

Deidre swiveled the laptop screen toward Alice. “Details by Thursday. That's when you have to be at the Gabba.”

“The what?” asked Alice sharply.

“The Gabba?” said Shelly. “That's the Brisbane Cricket Ground. And Thursday's the first day of the test match.”

Shelly gave Alice a geography lesson as she drove the few miles from Tickler's Turnpike. “Wanageeki's one of the few places in the world where the Earth's crust is so thin that hot water or mud can bubble straight out of cracks in the ground,” she told her proudly. “It's a natural phenomenon.”

Alice wasn't interested. She just wanted to get there.

“There are hundreds of baths,” Shelly went on. “They're built over the bubbling cracks. Some as big as swimming pools, some as small as bath tubs. Some crystal clear, others milky yellow. And some of the best aren't water at all. They're the ones full of the hot, plopping mud.”

Alice yawned. “So where do I get my ticket?”

Shelly parked by the Wanageeki Pools Complex. “Right here,” she said.

• • •

On the other side of the little town, the Warrior Sheep had finally picked their way past the bubbling mud pools closest to the lake. The ground had gradually got softer under their hooves and changed from bright red, yellow, and black to green all over.

“Grass!” cried Oxo. “Just when I thought I'd never see it again.”

They all grazed hungrily for a while.

“Tastes of rotten eggs, right,” mumbled Links.

“I mom't mare,” replied Oxo. “Mi'm marving…”

“Ohmygrass…It won't make my breath smell, will it?” asked Jaycey, looking up in alarm. “I mean, you never know who you're going to meet, do you?”

“It'll only be the fairy godtingy,” muttered Oxo quietly, so that Sal couldn't hear. “You wait. Half a stomach full and she'll pop up.”

But she didn't. And when even Oxo had eaten enough, the sheep wandered on. Every now and then they passed a circle of stony ground on which no grass grew. Some of the circles were surrounded by a low fence.

“Merino Geyser…” Wills read out the words on a sign.

“Merry what, dear?” asked Sal.

“Not merry. Merino.” Wills frowned. “I think a Merino's a sort of sheep.”

“Dunno,” said Oxo. “But a geyser's a guy. Everyone knows that.”

“Ooh…So is it pointing the way to some boy sheep?” asked Jaycey. Without waiting for an answer, she trotted off in the direction the sign was pointing. “This needs checking out…” She tossed her head to fluff up her curls. “I bet Down Under guys are
much
better looking than you two.”

“No chance,” called Oxo.

“Nah, we's the handsomest global, man,” said Links.

Jaycey wasn't listening. She slipped under the fence around the circle of rough ground and pirouetted daintily in the center. “And
I'm
so the prettiest.”

“Jaycey…!” Wills's cry of alarm came too late.

The earth beneath Jaycey's hooves was beginning to bubble. She looked down in astonishment. The bubbles got bigger and bigger and suddenly they weren't bubbles anymore. They were a jet of water, a jet of water that was getting wider and stronger and hotter and…
Whoosh!

The geyser burst from the ground right underneath Jaycey. She shot straight up in the air on top of the column of steaming water and stayed there, her legs paddling helplessly, her cries of shock and fear drowned in the almighty roar.

“Ohmygrassohmygrassohmygrassohmybottom…!”

“So
that's
what a geyser is,” murmured Wills, staring in awe.

Three long minutes later, the pressure pushing the geyser out of the ground died away, and the jet of water got smaller and smaller. Jaycey was slowly lowered until she was once more standing in a pool of bubbles. Then they too drained away.

“Ohmygrass…ohymgrass…” she whimpered. Then she added more loudly, “Ohmyfairygodtingy…!”

She stumbled back to join the other astonished sheep, dripping wet and shaking violently.

“There, there, dear…” said Sal, as they huddled round to comfort her.

Oxo couldn't resist it. “See any handsome guys from up there?” he asked.

“N…n…n…no…” Jaycey's teeth were chattering with shock. “B…b…b…but I did see
her
. Our fairy godtingy!”

Alice's pampering was going well. She had tried the warm baths and the hot baths. Her hair had been shampooed and her body massaged. Now she was preparing to try the mud bath: guaranteed to make you look ten years younger.

She took off her fluffy white bathrobe and stood on the edge of what looked like an open-air swimming pool. Only it wasn't full of water. It was full of soft, gray mud, which bubbled gently out of the ground, filling the air with its rotten-egg scent.

“You're quite certain the gray will wash off?” Alice said to the bath attendant standing beside her.

“No worries,” said the girl, taking Alice's fluffy white bathrobe. “From your skin and your swimsuit.”

Alice stepped in and sank down into the warm gloop, feeling it ooze over her body and up to her neck. The bath attendant popped a soft cushion behind her head and gently laid a velvet mask over her face.

“Lie back and enjoy,” the girl said. “I'll be back in a while with some chamomile tea.”

Alice relaxed. She closed her eyes. “Me Time” was so wonderful. Thursday and Brisbane seemed a long way away. And so did interfering sheep…

On the other side of the fence that surrounded the mud pool, Deidre and Shelly were sitting on the grass, enjoying an ice cream.

“What did you do before?” asked Shelly casually.

“Before what?”

“Joining up with Alice.”

“Oh, this and that,” said Deidre. “Nothing special.”

“And you're really, really
just
a secretary?”

Deidre gave Shelly a look. “I'm not sure what you're getting at. Of course I am.”

She handed her cone to Shelly, ending the conversation. “D'you fancy the rest of this? I think I'll shut my eyes for a few minutes.”

“Then you're a nosy one,” said Shelly, licking the ice cream.

But Deidre didn't answer.

• • •

It had taken Jaycey quite a while to calm down. And to convince her fellow warriors that from the top of the geyser she really had seen their fairy godtingy.

“She was covered in a fluffy white thing,” she gasped. “But it was definitely her. And she was standing by a great muddy hole in the ground. And…”

Oxo and Links looked at each other as if she'd gone mad, but Sal set off at a quick trot before Jaycey had even finished.

“She is waiting to guide us again,” she called over her shoulder. “Hurry!”

“That'll be guiding us through some more mud and mire, I s'pose,” murmured Oxo, pushing past Sal to his rightful place in the lead.

They ran as fast as they could, then skidded to a halt by a large painted sign.

“Another geyser?” asked Oxo.

Wills spelled out the long word “Re-ju-ven-ating…Mud Bath…” He looked at Jaycey. “Is this where…?”

“I can see her!” called Sal excitedly. She was peering through a knothole in the slatted wooden fence. “There! In the mud.”

“Ohmygrass! Is she drowning?” asked Jaycey anxiously.

“Out of the way, guys. Ram going through.” Oxo lowered his great head and butted the thin fence. The slats were old and his head went straight through with barely a sound. His body followed and he had to dig his hooves in hard to stop himself skidding straight into the mud pool.

The others nipped through the gap and stood uncertainly on the edge. The fairy godtingy was lying up to her neck in mud at the far end. Very still.

“Ohmygrass…Is she dead as well as drowning?” whispered Jaycey.

“Nah…she's just chilling, man…” said Links. He stepped quietly into the pool and sank chest deep in gray mud. “Mmm…Nice…”

The others followed.

“What now?” whispered Wills, who had to stand on tip-hooves to keep his head above the mud.

“We must get closer, of course,” said Sal. “She is our guide, remember.”

The mud made soft slurping, glugging, plopping noises as the warriors waded slowly through it. They were only a sheep's length away from the fairy godtingy when a droplet of mud got up Sal's nose and made her sneeze. “Ahhhtchoo!”

Alice woke with a fright and sat bolt upright. The mask fell from her face and she found herself staring straight into the yellow eyes of five sheep.
Those
sheep!

She screamed, loud and long. Deidre and Shelly, on the other side of the fence, heard and sprang to their feet.

Shelly came running through the broken fence. “Now what?” she asked.

Attendants were also rushing toward the screaming mud-bather, who had now scrambled from the pool.

“Guys,” said Wills, “I think we should, uh, keep a low profile.”

The sheep glanced at each other, then sank silently below the surface.

Alice was ranting. “I knew it all along! It's a plot! Get them out of here! Get them
out
!”

Shelly was by her side now. “Get who out?”

“Those
sheep
, of course!” Alice was hysterical.

Shelly and Deidre looked at each other and down at the pool. They could see only bubbles where the sheep had been.

“But, Miss Barton…” said Deidre soothingly. “There
are
no sheep. There's nothing here.”

The warriors managed to hold their breath under the mud until the humans had led a jabbering Alice away to the showers. Then, when everyone had gone, they slipped back out through the gap in the fence.

“Why did she scream like that?” asked Oxo, as they trotted away from the scene of all the noise and fuss.

“We frightened her, man,” said Links. “Even fairy godtingys get fright when they're woken up too quick.”

“We'd frighten anyone looking like this,” moaned Jaycey. “Look at my poor fleece. Look at my hooves. Look at my…”

“I don't suppose,” said Wills, before Jaycey could add to the list, “you saw their truck from the top of the geyser? The one they call Trevor?”

Jaycey thought, then shrugged. “Umm…It was over that way, I think.” She nodded vaguely in several directions.

“Maybe we should find it and wait for the godtingy there,” Wills suggested. “While she's getting over her fright.”

• • •

It took a lot of chamomile tea and concerned attendants bathing her forehead to settle Alice down. And a lot of showering to wash the gray mud off. And a lot of very expensive perfume to mask the smell of bad eggs. Nobody had mentioned how much that lingered. “Me Time” had been a disaster but Alice was determined to get a grip. The stakes were too high to be frightened off by a bunch of sheep. No matter who was behind them. She strode from the changing room, ready for anything, and with not a hair out of place.

Shelly and Deidre were waiting. Deidre looked worried.

“Right, poppets,” said Alice, with a brisk smile. “Brisbane.”

“D'you want the good news or the bad news?” asked Shelly.

Alice flinched, but only inwardly. “The bad,” she said, still smiling.

“I'm afraid the airport's closed, Miss Barton,” said Deidre. “For a week. They're relaying the runway.”

“And the good news?”

Deidre wasn't sure if it was good news or not. “Um, Skipper Ed phoned.
Destiny
's been repaired. He's moored at Rotapangimouth. Awaiting your instructions.”

“Where's Rotapangimouth?” asked Alice.

“Mouth of the Rotapangi River, strangely,” said Shelly. “About half an hour's drive from here.”

“And how long will it take to sail from there to Brisbane?”

“Depends how fast your boat is. Three days?”

Alice counted quickly on her fingers. “Excellent. We'll still be in time. Deidre, phone Captain Ted and tell him we sail today. Then call a taxi.” She looked at Shelly. “Trevor is history—except as a luggage wagon. Meet us at the quayside.”

Five minutes later, Alice and Deidre were being whisked away in a posh car.

Shelly was quite happy to have Trevor to herself for a bit. She climbed in, made to start the engine, then stopped. And sniffed.

“What the kiwi juice is that?” she said.

She turned and saw five mud-covered sheep blinking at her from the rear seat. Shelly blinked back.

It was a quick journey. Shelly took the back roads and arrived at Rotapangimouth quayside ten minutes before Alice and Deidre.

“Out…” she said, holding Trevor's door open for the warriors. It was an order but Shelly was laughing. “And don't tell her I brought you here. Go on, move.” She grinned as the sheep wandered away. “Maybe see you in Oz.”

“What'd she say?” asked Oxo.

“See you in Oz,” replied Wills. “I think that's the same as Australia. Which is the other part of Down Under.” He stopped and stared. “Look!”

They looked. And saw that they were standing slap bang in front of a large, sleek motor cruiser. The same motor cruiser that had brought them halfway across the world from Murkton-on-Sea.

“It's our Destiny!” they all cried.

“Right,” said Wills, bouncing up and down with excitement. “It's
Destiny
!”

The boat's engines were rumbling and Skipper Ed was at the top of the gangway, waiting to welcome Miss Alice Barton back on-board. If welcome was the right word. He didn't notice the five gray, muddy animals on the quayside. Even if he had, he wouldn't have recognized them as the same creatures he'd last seen swimming for their lives in Auckland harbor.

The taxi drew to a halt and Alice stepped out. “Good-bye and good riddance,” she said to Trevor as she hurried past him. She smiled at Shelly. “I presume you have something better in Brisbane?”

“I've got Norman,” Shelly said. “Want to see a pic?”

“No time,” said Alice, who was now at the bottom of the gangway. “Quickly, Deidre.”

“Yes, Miss Barton, I'm coming.”

Alice bustled up the gangway in a cloud of expensive perfume tinged with bad egg. “Good evening, Captain Ted.” She beamed at the skipper. “I have to be in Brisbane as soon as possible. I'm sure you won't let me down.”

“Ed…” muttered Ed. “The name's Ed.” But Alice didn't hear. Ed signaled his crewmen to cast off the mooring ropes, while his employer leaned on the rail, looking down at the quayside.

“Good-bye, bungee jumps and rafts and mud,” she whispered with satisfaction. “And good-bye, shee…” The word became briefly strangled in her throat. She was watching five gray blobs hurrying toward the gangway. “Sheep!” she gasped.

But at the last moment, the gangway was trundled ashore.
Destiny
began to move. A satisfying gap opened between the boat and the quayside, and the sheep were steadily left behind, stranded. Alice watched them as they stood in a forlorn huddle, staring after the boat, bleating sadly.

“Farewell!” she cried. “And may we
never
meet again!”

The warriors saw her standing by the rail. They saw the kisses she blew and her lovely smile, but they couldn't hear a word she said because of a long blast on
Destiny
's horn.

“I'm sorry, guys,” said Oxo, dropping his head. “I should've butted our way on. I didn't know it was going to move so soon.”

“It's not your fault, dear.” Sal was trying to be brave. “Something will turn up. The Songs of the Fleece are never—”

They all smelled dog at the same moment. And heard a man shouting behind them.

“What's this mob doing loose? Bring 'em on, Gem. Come by! Come by!”

The next moment, the sheep dog was upon the startled warriors, yapping and yelping and driving them away from
Destiny
toward a much bigger boat, a large cargo ship, moored farther along the quay.

The man whistled urgently at the dog and, to escape its snapping teeth, the warriors had no choice. There was only one place to run. They galloped up the wide ramp into the cargo ship's hold.

An iron gate clanged shut behind them.