The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven (91 page)

I looked over my shoulder and saw that Roman was watching me again. So I purposely pulled one of the boys closer to me as I danced up against him. He wrapped his arms around me tight, grinding his leg in between mine. I glanced over to see Roman’s face turning red. I knew he was trying to hide it by talking to Justin, but failed.

Just to piss him off even more, right when he looked over, I grabbed the guy by the face and kissed him. Roman’s rage grew. He marched straight for us and pushed the guy. “What the hell dude?” he said, stumbling.

“What is wrong with you?” I said, glaring at Roman. I only wanted to make him jealous not have him pummel the guy. Roman didn’t say anything. He just walked away. I turned to Cameron who was glaring at me. “What?” I said annoyed. She just shrugged her shoulders.

“C’mon now,” Dean said, joining us and throwing his arms over Cameron and me. “Can’t we all just get along?” Dean’s happy attitude was infectious. He even got Cameron to smile. “It’s a party let’s drink!” he cheered, holding up his cup.

“Give me that,” I said, taking his beer and chugging it. “Woo!” Dean and a bunch of bystanders nearby cheered.

“This is the old Ella I know and love,” Dean said, hanging on me and stumbling. “Look out ladies.” He spread out his arms and got ready to completely embarrass himself.

“What is he doing?” Cameron asked, looking horrified.

“Um, he’s dancing,” I laughed.

“Maybe we should stop him before he completely makes a fool of himself,” Cameron suggested.

“Too late,” I said, choking back a laugh as I watched him bust out his Michael Jackson moves. “I’m going to walk away now.”

I walked over to one of the coolers and reached in to grab another beer when someone grabbed my wrist, stopping me. “You think that’s a good idea?” Roman said.

“What are you, my conscious?” I said, still ticked off from his little pissing contest.

He just glared at me. I tried to pull my hand away but he held on,
looking down at my wrist. “Where did you get that watch?”

“It was a gift,” I said, tearing my hand away. When I turned to rejoin my friends I found Mackenzie fawning all over Billy.

“I guess you and your guardian are a perfect match after all,” Roman said over my shoulder. “Doesn’t waste anytime does he? But I guess that doesn’t bother you now, does it?” he asked, thinking I would be jealous of Mackenzie flirting with him.

“First off, like I told you before, he is just my guardian. My friend. There is nothing going on between Billy and me. Maybe you’re the one who is jealous, watching him over there with Mackenzie.”

“I don’t care about Mackenzie. She’s a free woman. She can do what she wants.”

“Than what are you so pissed about? Are you mad because you think I slept with Billy and wouldn’t with you?” He narrowed his eyes at me. “That’s it isn’t it?”

“No, that’s not it, but now that you mention it I’m not surprised you admitted it. It must be killing you to watch him flirt with Mackenzie,” he said, thinking he had me.

“Okay, one, I didn’t admit anything and I’m pretty sure it’s Mackenzie that’s all over him and not the other way around.”

“He doesn’t seem to be stopping her.”

I turned to face him again. “He’s just trying to be nice. Not everyone’s an asshole like you,” I growled.

“I’m the asshole?” he asked, like I should be ashamed for even considering.

“Yes. You stand there and judge people when you know nothing about them.”

“And you’ll trust anyone with a dick,” he said, getting in my face.

That was the last straw. I was tired of him calling me a slut. I slapped him, hard. And now I was in his face. “You don’t know shit about me. So don’t talk like you do. And if you ever, insult me like that again I’ll –”

“You’ll what?” he asked, tempting me. 

Dean and Billy had caught our little tiff and came over to see what was going on. “Is there a problem?” Dean asked, standing beside me.

“Why don’t you ask your sister? She’s the one who hit me,” he said, narrowing his eyes at me.

Dean turned to me ready to yell. “Don’t even start. This is between me and him,” I said, glaring back at Roman.

“No need to worry boys. I’m finished with this conversation,” Roman said, walking away.

I grabbed his arm and stopped him. I knew I was going to regret what I was about to say, but all the liquor I had drank was making me not care. “Well I’m not. I’m tired of you calling me names and thinking its okay. You wanna know the truth, well here it is. For your information I’m still a virgin and not that it’s any of your business, but I’ve only been in two serious relationships. And the only reason they ended was because Jack the rogue vampire who’s after me killed them. And the reason I know Billy is such a good guy and would never fall for Mackenzie’s bullshit is because he used to date my best friend who was also killed by Jack. So go ahead, say something now. I fucking dare you!”

He stood there, with a stunned look on his face. “Ella I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“No you didn’t, but now you do,” I said, storming out. I had all I could take.

The blast of cold air that hit me was like a slap in the face. I took a sharp inhale of breath before I continued on.

“Ella wait!” Roman called, catching up to me outside.

I stopped and turned on him. “You keep acting like you know me, but you have no idea. You have no idea what I went through or what I have to deal with!” I shouted.

“Then why don’t you tell me?” he asked softly.

“Because it’s too hard,” I cried, no longer able to hold back the tears. “Because I’m tired of losing people I care about. I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do it anymore.” I broke down. My knees started to wobble. Roman caught me before I hit the ground. He held me tight and tried to comfort me. I felt so safe and warm in his arms. Too many emotions were trying to take over and I couldn’t decipher which ones were right.  “I can’t do this right now. I have to go,” I said, pushing him away and running to my room.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

Chapter twenty

I wanted to skip my classes today, but here that wasn’t so easy. I felt like crap. I knew it was from the alcohol and fight with Roman. I wanted so badly to crawl back into bed. I forced myself to get up and in the shower.

I sat in my normal seat in the back of History class and kept to myself. “Ella, can I talk to you?” Roman asked, leaning on my desk.

“Now’s not a good time,” I said, pulling off my sunglasses.

“Ella I wanna –” he started but Mr. Grant brought the class to order, forcing Roman to have a seat. Unfortunately for me he chose the empty seat next to mine. “Ella, I really want to talk to you about last night,” he whispered.

“Not now,” I repeated. He didn’t seem to care I wasn’t interested in what he had to say and proceeded to continue.

“I’m sorry. You were right. I don’t know you, but I would like to get the chance if you let me?”

I turned to face him. His dark blue eyes were pleading with me to give him another chance. “Roman I –”

“Miss McCallister, care to tell us what I was just discussing?” Mr. Grant asked me, knowing I wasn’t paying attention.

“Umm, I…” I stuttered as the class giggled.

“That’s what I thought. I expect you to pay attention,” he said annoyed. I glared at Roman pissed that he got me in trouble.

When class was over I grabbed my things in a rush, hoping to get away from Roman. “Ella, please let me explain I –” Roman started before Mr. Grant interrupted.

“Miss McCallister, can I see you for a minute?” Mr. Grant asked, giving me a reprieve from Roman.

“Yes Mr. Grant,” I said, standing there nervously, waiting while the rest of the class cleared out.

“I’m going to make myself clear. I don’t care what kind of personal crap you having going on in your life or whatever. When you’re in this class you listen. Outside of here I don’t care what you do. Got it?”

“Got it,” I said, making a bee line for the door. Yikes, mental note not to piss him off again.

On my way out I found Roman waiting for me. I ignored him and kept walking. “Ella,” he said, trying to keep up with me. “Ella stop!”

“I’m going to be late.” I kept walking.

“I don’t care. Will you please stop?” He jumped in front of me. Clearly I wasn’t going to get rid of him anytime soon. Not to mention we sat next to each other in our next class.

Not wanting to risk getting in trouble again I paused and said, “Make it quick. I don’t want to be late.”

“Fine, meet me in the library after lunch,” he said.

“Roman no –”

“Look, I have a lot I want to say and like you said we don’t have enough time and I’m not going to rush. Library, after lunch.” He turned and walked away. I stood in the hall staring at Roman’s back a little longer than I should have. I had to run to my next class. I made it just in time. Roman was already seated and leaning back casually in his chair. “What took you so long?” he said, smiling. I just glared at him, placing my bag on the table between us so I could put my head down and not have to look at him.

Thankfully Ms. Kraft hadn’t noticed that I was dozing off or I would have found myself in another lecture about the importance of blah, blah, blah.

I knew I was dreaming when I found myself in the school maze. I had no idea why I kept dreaming about this place.

I walked over to the fountain and found a young man sitting there on the edge with his back to me. I approached him slowly, not wanting to startle him. When I was close enough I peered over his shoulder at his reflection in the water. I blinked in surprise at the shimmering white wings I saw in the water. They were the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I wanted to reach out and touch them, but when I looked at the young man again there was nothing there. As if he felt my presence, he turned around.

“Kyle!” I cried. I threw my arms around him the instant he stood up. “You’re here, you’re really here,” I said smiling, not wanting to let go.

“Yes Ella. I’m really here, but I don’t know for how long.” I melted at the sweet sound of his voice. “There’s something I have to tell you, it’s important,” he said.

“Can’t it wait?” I asked, running a hand over his face, taking in his big brown eyes, his blond, surfer boy hair.

“No. I don’t have much time,” he said. He pulled back and took a good look at me. “What are you wearing?”

“Oh, this stupid uniform we have to wear –” I stopped when I looked down at my clothes. I was wearing a long, black, strapless gown. I was so distracted when I saw Kyle that I hadn’t even noticed. The top of the gown was a tight corset with tiny diamonds down the front. The bottom flared out like a princess gown with more diamonds along the edge. “Oh, what the frig? I have no idea why I am wearing this ridiculous dress.”

Kyle tilted my head up to look at him. “You look beautiful,” he said smiling. I wrapped my arms around him again. “Ella, I’m sorry, but there’s something I came here to tell you.”

I managed to tear myself away so I could look at him. “What are you talking about? This doesn’t make any sense. Aren’t I dreaming?”

“Yes but listen –” His words were cut off by an outcry of pain. He arched backwards, screaming, revealing a dagger through his chest. “Ella…” was his last word as he fell to his knees. Behind him was Jack, smiling, blood covering his hands.

I screamed so loud I woke myself up, startling everyone.

The entire classroom turned around to look at me. I didn’t even say anything. I just grabbed my stuff and ran out of class. Roman chased after me, but I didn’t stop, I just kept going. When we reached the outside he finally caught up to me and stopped me. “Ella, what happened?”

“Nothing, I have to go,” I said, trying to walk away but he wouldn’t let go.

“No Ella. I’m not letting you walk away this time. Please let me help you.”

“Trust me. I’m doing you a favor.” I pulled away and started to walk again.

“I don’t care. Whatever it is I don’t care. I’ll take the risk…for you,” he shouted.

I stopped, but I didn’t turn around. “Don’t…please don’t,” I said softly.

He was behind me now. He placed his hands on my arms gently and let out a breath. “Ella, please, why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you let me in?”

“Because I don’t want you to get hurt,” I admitted to my own surprise. “Roman you don’t want to get involved in this.”

He spun me around to face him and placed his hand delicately on my cheek. “Obviously you don’t know me very well then,” he smiled.

A tear escaped my eye and he brushed it away with his thumb. “I guess you leave me with no other choice then,” I sighed, giving in. “Not here though.” I thought for a minute. “We can go to my room?”

“Won’t Billy be there?”

“No he’s helping Gabe out,” I said.

When we got to my room, Roman helped himself by sitting on my bed. I instantly jumped over to the other bed and sat down. I ran a shaky hand through my hair. I could feel Roman watching me and I was starting to get uncomfortable.  “Before you start, I just want to explain why I’ve been acting the way I have.”

“Roman you don’t –”

“Yes I do,” he said, interrupting me. “This isn’t easy for me, but I have to let you know so you understand why I’ve been acting so weird.” He struggled for a minute while he ran his hands through his hair. I learned this was a trait of his, something he did when he was nervous. “I was jealous,” he blurted.

“Excuse me?” I asked, making sure I heard him right.

“Don’t make me say it again,” he said agitated. I crossed my arms and waited. “Fine, I was jealous, okay?” he said, giving me that, ‘
Are you happy now’
look
.
He took a breath to calm himself, closing his eyes for a moment before he began again. “From the first day I saw you I knew there was something different about you. I was just too blind to see.”

“Roman, what are you getting at here?” I asked, more confused than ever.

“I like you Ella. I did from the first day I saw you. I guess that’s why I acted so irrationally. I was still with Mackenzie and it didn’t feel right to have feelings for someone else.”

I knew what he meant. In a way I felt like I would be betraying Tristan by loving someone else. “And what about after. When you broke up with her?”

“I was confused. After the library,” he looked up. Did he feel the shock too? “Then when you kissed me the night of the break in.”

“Roman I –”

“The reason doesn’t matter. I don’t care if you thought you were kissing someone else. All I know is that first kiss changed everything. I wasn’t sure what I wanted anymore. So I thought if I got you to hate me it would be easier. But then we started sneaking around, and Billy and the guy at the party…” he trailed off, not wanting to repeat himself again.

“You were jealous,” I finished for him, trying to hide my smile.

“I’m sorry for being such a jerk. It was just easier than admitting how I really felt,” he said letting out a breath, like a big weight was just lifted off his shoulders. “Now you know the truth.”

“Thank you,” I said. “I know that wasn’t easy for you to admit. I’m not sure what you want from me though?” I asked a little scared.

He looked up at me, his dark blue eyes searching mine. “Nothing. I mean, I just wanted you to know the truth. I don’t expect anything in return…except, maybe…a chance to get to know you. The real you.”

“I think I can manage that,” I said with a small smile. So Roman just admitted he liked me. Where the hell was I supposed to go from there? I didn’t know what to say or do. He looked at me expectantly, and I forgot the real reason we came here. I quickly cleared my head and focused.

“So…where do you want me to start?” I asked, wanting to move this along as quickly as possible. When it came to talking about my past I wasn’t always quick to jump on that subject.

“You tell me. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t feel comfortable with,” he said, being the sweet Roman I liked.

“Then we would just sit here in silence,” I joked. He got up and sat next to me on the bed. I froze when I felt that shock and then quickly got up. Being close to him made it hard for me to concentrate. I would be lying if I didn’t admit I was a little shaken up by his confession. Talk about dropping a bomb.

“Is there something wrong?” he asked, wondering why I was suddenly acting weird.

“No…I just rather stand.” I reached up and touched the locket my mom had given me for Christmas. Then I closed my eyes and took a breath. “You sure you want to know all this? You might change your mind about me when I’m done,” I joked.

“I’ll take my chances,” he smiled.

“Okay, so everything started the summer after my senior year of high school,” I began. “My boyfriend Kyle and I were on our way to his parent’s cabin and there was an accident. Although at the time I didn’t know it wasn’t really an accident. Kyle died when the SUV burst into flames…” I paused to collect myself before I continued.

Then when I went to college in the fall with my best friend Josie…that’s when everything started to fall apart. That’s also when I
met Jack. He lived down the hall from me in my dorm and was sweet and nice…well, until he tried to kill me.”

I gazed out the window and glimpsed at the rays of sun that were shining down. “Josie convinced me to join a sorority. Yeah, I know, me in a sorority,” I said, walking over to the window wanting to feel the warmth of the sun. “I’m not the same person I was then.” I pressed my hand to the window pane, needing a moment to steady myself.

“I met someone. Someone I thought, well I thought he was the biggest ass when I first met him,” I said, smiling at the memory. “Then I fell in love with him, but I never got to tell him.” I looked down at his watch I was wearing and ran my thumb over the heart charm. “On the night of the sorority’s Halloween party, that’s when I lost everything. I found Josie’s body in our closet and Billy knocked unconscious. Then when Billy and I tried to get help Jack attacked. I thought Billy was as good as dead. I ran. I ran as far as I could but he still found me. Jack and his girlfriend, Cadence – who just so happened to be the president of the sorority I joined – threatened to kill more people I loved unless I gave them my powers.”

Roman got up from the bed and stood next to me by the window. “The funny thing is I didn’t even know anything about this stuff until after Jack attacked me. I had no idea about vampires or that I was one or any of this,” I said, throwing my hands out. “And I’d never thought I’d lose the people I loved most and for what? For some stupid powers?”

Roman took my hand and squeezed it gently. I looked down at our twined fingers before I looked out the window again. “He saved me. Just before Jack was about to kill me. He gave up his life for mine and for what? What do I have to show him it was worth it? I didn’t even get to tell him I loved him.” This was the first time I admitted to anyone that I loved Tristan. I still couldn’t say his name though. That was too much to say it out loud.

“I’m sure whoever he was he knew you loved him. And from what it sounds like he loved you too. If I was him I would have done the same thing.”