Authors: Katy Newton Naas
Making sure no one was around as I got back onto the main path, I ducked out of the visitors' chamber. There wasn't a soul in sight as I made my way back toward the common area, leaving Jady to shower. I tried to look calm and collected as I walked, but every time I was around her, I couldn't help the giddy, energized feeling that took over my body and reflected in my appearance. There was no way to explain what had come over me, and why I needed to be around her, to touch her and kiss her, but I had absolutely no intention of ignoring it or fighting it, no matter how much trouble it could bring for me.
As I approached the common area, lost in my own thoughts and anticipating the coming night, I ran directly into Lucy, almost knocking her down and causing her to drop the stack of books she had in her hands. “Lucy, I'm incredibly sorry!” I bent down to help her pick up the books.
She smiled at me. “That's okay, Noah; you obviously didn't see me coming. I called your name to warn you, but you didn't seem to hear me. You appeared to be deep in thought about something. What's going on?” she asked with a big smile on her face.
I desperately tried to think about something else, knowing she could read my thoughts if she wanted to. “Nothing,” I said, trying to sound casual. “Just clumsy, I guess.”
I could tell she didn't buy it as she looked at me with a suspicious smile. “No, Noah, you were thinking. What about?”
Though I frantically filled my brain with anything I could possibly think of, I just couldn't force Jady to leave my mind. To my horror, Lucy focused on me, reading my mind as her smiled faded. “Oh, Noah. What are you doing?” she whispered.
“Lucy, you had no right to read my mind like that!”
She stared at me, ignoring my anger as bewilderment and concern radiated off of her. “Noah, this is dangerous. What are you thinking? Sir Andrew and the other leaders will never allow you to stay here when they find out about this.”
“Please don't tell anyone,” was the only reply I could manage.
“Noah, I'm sorry â I didn't mean to invade your privacy. You just looked so
happyâ¦
I never dreamed I'd find something like that. But you have to know what a terrible idea this is, don't you?”
“Lucy, I can't help it. These feelings I have for her â they're real. For the first time in my life, I feel truly
alive
. We justâ¦we have this connection that I can't explain. Sure, it's physical; I know that's what you saw. But it's so much deeper than that. I can talk to her. I can tell her things that I'd never tell anyone.” I broke off my attempted explanation when I saw the waves of horror surrounding Lucy only growing. I sighed. “I haven't told anyone, and I had no intention of telling you either. You shouldn't have read my thoughts. I know the leaders would expect me to report this, but I wouldn't even know what to tell them. I have no idea how to explain this.”
She sighed, thinking deeply for several moments before she finally spoke. “I can explain it.”
“What?” I must have misunderstood her.
She closed her eyes. “I can explain it,” she said again, softer this time. “Come with me.”
Without questioning her, I followed her as she turned abruptly on her heels and led me away from the common area. Her short red hair bounced as she walked hastily ahead of me. After only a few moments of walking in silence, I knew where we were going â we were heading directly toward the genetics lab.
Outside the main door of the lab, Lucy looked around carefully to make sure we were alone. We were. She hurried me inside and shut the door behind us. Still not speaking, she walked ahead of me until we arrived in a large, all-white open room full of lab tables and computer equipment.
“I can fix this problem for you,” she said. “These feelings you're having for herâ¦they can be controlled. They're
supposed
to be controlled, in fact. I'm not sure how those instincts are coming through inside your body. There must be a glitch of some sort in your chip.”
I looked down at the ground. “What if I don't want it to be controlled?”
Lucy gave me a stern and serious look as waves of irritation rolled off of her. “You have to, Noah. There isn't a choice here. With these instincts come major problems. Our society can't allow that. We eliminated this particular issue thousands of years ago. Like I said, there must be a glitch somewhere.” As she spoke, she was already preparing a lab table. She obviously was not going to let me leave without attempting to alter my chip.
I had to stall. “Lucy, I need an explanation. You can't justâ¦fix meâ¦and expect me to forget it ever happened. And yes, I know I'm not entitled to this sort of information, but if anyone should understand my curiosity, it's you.” Lucy knew I had a history of asking questions and being reprimanded. She had to be sympathetic to my situation.
As I expected, she was. She paused and turned to face me, putting the lab materials aside. “Noah, what you're experiencing are basic instincts that are given to every intelligent living being. Humans have not yet found a way to control them like we did thousands of years ago. From the day you were born and received your chip, it has been controlled. Or, it should have been. Your chip has the ability to suppress those basic instincts. Obviously, that wire in your chip is malfunctioning, but I can fix it. It won't take long and it won't be too painful, but we need to do this fast and get out of here before someone catches us.”
I sat in silence, listening intently and trying to absorb the information she had just given me. She still hadn't really answered the question I was after. “But why do we want to suppress these types of feelings?”
She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Noah, those feelings bring nothing but harm. You have no idea how dangerous a society can be when those instincts are allowed to surface. That kind of attraction toward another person can lead to all those negative emotions that can destroy a society. Remember what Sir Andrew told us about human behaviors? How they can be erratic and destructive?” I nodded, and she continued. “Well, part of the origin of those behaviors comes from the very feelings you're having. We eliminated those for the good of our society.”
What she was saying did not make sense. I couldn't imagine the feelings I had for Jady ever leading to anything negative, and I didn't want to lose what we had.
Lucy obviously read those thoughts. She spoke softly as she walked away from the lab table and came closer to me. “Noah, you have too much to lose here. Think about what's at stake for you. If Sir Andrew finds out, you will be forced to leave our society. Think about what you'd be giving up here. You are one of the few of us who possesses a gift. And you have been blessed with the coveted youth-preserving honor.”
She knew she was losing. Her arguments wouldn't change my mind, but she didn't give up. “I know it's hard for you to understand right now. These feelings are new and exciting and you can't imagine them ever bringing harm or destruction. But Noah, you have to believe me when I tell you this is what's best for you. On Earth, humans allow these emotions to control their lives. They develop bonds with people, and allow those bonds to determine who they live with and when to start families. But the problem is, those bonds often aren't strong enough to last. Sometimes, only one person loses those feelings, leaving the other person depressed and angry. They end up forming bonds with other people, which breaks up families and causes a lot of pain and ill feelings.”
I shook my head firmly. “Lucy, I won't lose this. What Jady and I have is different. You couldn't possibly understand because you've never gotten to experience this.”
She smiled, but I could see her frustration. “No one
thinks
they're going to lose it when the relationship first begins. Humans don't enter into these bonds thinking that they won't last. They even go so far as to enter into marriage, which is supposed to be the ultimate declaration of love, where they promise in front of other humans and God to love each other for the rest of their lives. Those people don't make those kinds of promises thinking that it's going to end; they feel just like you do right now. But it's naïve. At least half the time, the feelings fade. Married couples split up. And again, families and children are hurt. Imagine how unproductive we would be with these kinds of problems and distractions. There's a reason we're so much more advanced than they are, and this is it. This is the source of basically all their problems.”
As the information started to sink in, I was crushed. The thought of losing Jady was devastating. I knew I would never lose the feelings I had for her, but what if she did? What would my life be like?
As I mulled over this, Lucy gently reached out and touched my shoulder. “Noah, even if the two of you have something special â something that would withstand time and anything else that came at you â she will be leaving soon, and you will be here. Your split is inevitable. And then what?”
My heart sank as I realized she was right. Jady and the rest of the humans would only be here for a limited time. Somehow, I hadn't considered that fact yet. Without a word, I trudged to the lab table and laid down, face first. I couldn't look at Lucy as I admitted my defeat.
I heard Lucy's footsteps behind me as she finished preparing the lab table. It wasn't long before I felt her behind me, leaning over me. “Noah,” she whispered, “you're doing the right thing.” That was the last thing I heard before I was put into a deep sleep.
After the world's fastest shower, I headed back to the common area. I couldn't contain my good mood as I thought about the coming night. We were going back to the waterfall, which was my new favorite spot in the entire creation, and I was finally going to learn the truth about Noah and all the secrets that were being kept from us.
I paused outside the common area to look inside, where I saw my dad, Luke, and the rest of the crew, still sitting on the chairs and couches with Sir Andrew and some other members of the society. The sight of Sir Andrew made me glower, but I knew I had to put on an act. He had no idea I had heard his conversation, and as far as our crew was concerned, Sir Andrew was the friendliest and most welcoming member of the society. I couldn't let anyone suspect my unpleasant feelings towards him. After a quick glance around the rest of the room, I made my way inside and sat down in the empty spot on the couch next to Luke. Disappointingly, Noah was nowhere to be found, and I wondered where he was hiding out as I quietly took my place with my crew.
My crew was so engrossed in Sir Andrew's story that no one noticed my arrival at first. I sat down and listened as Sir Andrew finished a story about the first space travel exploration they had completed, which had been thousands of years ago. They had chosen to go to a small, nameless planet with no intelligent life forms in sight, in order to practice the art of traveling and landing, but had almost overshot their destination. Luckily, they managed to circle the planet without going into orbit and while they crashed the travel vehicle in landing, no one was hurt. As I watched him describe the crash, I couldn't help but be in awe of his storytelling abilities. The way he described it, it seemed as though he had been there at the sight of the crash, though that was impossible. He had my crew charmed, and I could see why. His dramatic flair could keep the attention of a crowd. No wonder he was such a great leader.
My dad was especially interested in the story. “So that one crash, ten thousand years ago, is the only accident you've ever had in space travel?” he asked incredulously.
“Yes,” Sir Andrew replied. “It was a minor calculation error, but it taught us a big lesson. We are very meticulous in our planning.”
Luke's dad spoke up. “Well, we like to think that we are meticulous in our calculations as well, but we still have errors. We have had some very disastrous attempts at space travel in our past. While we have drastically cut down on the number of failures over years, traveling to other planets is still a fairly new occurrence. It's still not one hundred percent safe.”
Sir Andrew tilted his head. “So every time you take a trip into the galaxy, there is still a risk that the flight may fail?”
The captain nodded. “It's minimal, but yes. I'm not sure we'll ever get to the point where success is an absolute guarantee.”
I had to jump in. “Of course there are risks, but the benefits make the risks worth it. There is so much to see, so much to learn. To not travel and explore because of fear of failure would be a travesty. We would be doing a disservice to our world.”
My crew looked at me in surprise, as they hadn't noticed my arrival, but smiled and nodded in agreement. Dad was beaming. “Luke and Jady here,” he said, motioning toward the couches, “are the youngest space travelers in the history of humankind. Despite their age, their knowledge and commitment to our space program is amazing. They were able to earn spots on this mission when they were up against thousands. When NASA was trying and failing over and over again, Jady and Luke came up the idea that finally helped them succeed.”
I couldn't help but smile a little. It felt good to hear the pride in Dad's voice when he talked about me.
“Jady has been begging me to put her in space since she was old enough to talk. She is absolutely fascinated with space travel. Of course, as a father, sometimes it's hard for me to accept that she's a young woman. I'm still scared for her safety. We were unsure of what we would find here, but to force her to miss out on this⦔
“It wasn't going to happen,” I interrupted with a grin. “This is the opportunity I've dreamed of since I was a kid.” I turned to Sir Andrew. “And thanks to everyone here, this has been the best experience of my life.” As the rest of the crew echoed their agreements, I gave him a syrupy-sweet smile.
Sir Andrew smiled back at me and nodded his head once. “I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, young Jady.”
He and the captain began discussing the technical process of flying, which was where I lost interest. If I was serious in my decision to become an astronaut, I knew I would have to learn all of that part eventually â but for now, I was perfectly happy to daydream about the night that was to come. I scanned the crowd again for Noah, but still, no sight of him.
Soon, Sir Andrew was leading all of us to the dining hall for lunch. I was sure I would see Noah there, but I didn't, and I was starting to get worried. Where would he have gone? Was he avoiding me?
I remembered the conversation we had that morning in the visitors' chamber, and decided that he couldn't be evading me. Maybe he was resting in anticipation of our late rendezvous. That was probably a good idea; we hadn't gotten any sleep the night before, and I didn't know how many sleepless nights I could have before I crashed. As I inhaled the delicious fruit salad in front of me, I decided to take a nap after lunch. While I didn't want to miss anything that might happen during the holiday, I also wanted to be alert and refreshed.
As I finished my salad, I turned to my dad. “Dad, I know I said we'd have plenty of time to sleep when we got back to Earth, but if I don't take a nap, I think I'm going to be delirious.” I yawned to help emphasize my point. “I'm going to go back and take a short nap.”
My dad laughed. “I told you you'd be exhausted today. A nap sounds like a good idea. I'll wake you if anything exciting happens.”
I smiled. “Thank you,” I said as I stood up and pushed in my chair.
As I walked out of the dining hall, I heard footsteps behind me. “Wait up!” Luke's voice called. “I'm going back to the visitors' chamber too!”
I groaned on the inside, but I slowed down to let him catch up to me. “Why?” I asked, sounding much more irritated than I meant to.
“I need a nap too. You're not the only one who didn't sleep last night, remember?” He grinned at me as he got into step beside me.
“Yeah, I remember. You practically gave me a heart attack,” I said, elbowing him gently.
He rolled his eyes. “Sorry. But I was worried. You shouldn't just slip out like that, especially at night. Next time you want to get up in the middle of the night and go look around outside, wake me up. I probably won't be asleep anyway. I'll go with you.”
I laughed on the inside, knowing I was going to sneak out again tonight and had absolutely no intention of taking him with me. “Sure, Luke.”
“Hey, I'm serious,” he protested, grabbing my arm. “I don't like to worry about you.”
I decided I better convince him I was safe so that he wouldn't be checking up on me at night. “Yeah, I know, Luke. It was stupid. Next time, I will come get you. But you probably won't have to worry about that for a while. I'm pretty exhausted.”
“Aww, I know. Me too. I feel like I could sleep for days right now.” He stretched his arms up in the air as we walked, and then swung the arm closest to me down to rest it on my shoulder. “You miss home yet?”
I laughed. “No way! Do you?”
He laughed along with me, but his face was more serious. “Yeah, a little. Don't get me wrong; I'm glad we came and I definitely want to keep traveling, but I miss my own house and my own bed. I miss junk food.”
Though his sentiments echoed my own cheeseburger cravings from earlier, I rolled my eyes at him. “You and those mini chocolate chip muffin packages. You're so ridiculous. We're visiting another planet, meeting a new species, and you're worried about junk food!”
“That's not the only thing I miss,” he said defensively. “It's awesome being here, and I'm not saying I'm ready to go home right now, but I'm just saying that being here makes me appreciate our life at home. Just the little things, like the way all their clothes look the same. Or the fact that their jobs are chosen for them. They don't think much for themselves. Yeah, these people are smarter than we are and more advanced, but their lifestyle is not one that I necessarily envy.”
I nodded, actually agreeing with him on that one. As I thought about everything Noah and I had learned from each other up to this point, I couldn't imagine living in a world where people did not show any affection toward each other or fall in love. What would life be like if I did not have my family? Noah had no connection to a mother or father. There was no way to wrap my head around the idea of life without my parents.
Still thinking about Noah and his life, we arrived back at the visitors' chamber. Luke and I retired to our separate rooms. I didn't bother with changing out of my jeans and into something more comfortable; I simply pulled my long hair up into a ponytail and lay down. Before I could even daydream about our late-night date, I was sound asleep.
The next thing I knew, Luke was poking my shoulder. “You just planning to sleep until tomorrow, or what?”
I opened my eyes slowly. “What time is it?” I mumbled.
“It's eight o'clock!” Luke exclaimed.
I rubbed my eyes. “What? Eight o'clock! Why didn't you wake me up sooner?”
His eyes got wide. “You must be joking.” When I stared at him, puzzled, he continued. “Jady, I tried to wake you up hours ago. You told me to go away.”
“I did?” I didn't remember him trying to wake me up.
“Yeah,” he said with a laugh. “I slept for two hours after lunch before I came in to check on you, but you were out cold. Then I tried to wake you up for dinner, but that's when you told me to go away. So I did. You missed an awesome dinner, by the way.”
As if on cue, my stomach growled. “Aww! I'm hungry!”
He smiled. “I thought you might be. Hold on.” With that, he turned and sprinted out of my room and returned seconds later with a plate. “I asked Sir Andrew if I could bring you a plate. We told him you were too exhausted to join us for dinner.”
“And this is why you are my best friend!” Happily, I took the plate and scarfed down the food in front of me without even paying much attention to what it was. It tasted like some sort of casserole, with noodles of some kind and a wonderful orange sauce. I barely paused between bites until it was gone. “The food here is
so
good.”
Luke shook his head. “I don't know how you stay as small as you do and eat like that.”
“Please. It's not like anything they have here is unhealthy. And look how small the portions are. If we were back home, I could eat like five plates of this stuff,” I pointed out.
“True,” Luke agreed. “I never feel full after the meals here.”
“I know. But look at the amazing figures on these people. Not one of them has a flaw on their bodies.” I blushed as I thought about Noah and his perfect physique.
Luke eyed me suspiciously. “Jady, do you have a crush on that Noah creature?”
The question took me completely by surprise. It felt like he had just read my mind. I stared at him, trying to give him a look of disgust. “No!” I exclaimed. “Where did that come from?”
And don't call him a “creature,”
I added mentally.
He shrugged and looked down. “Just something I picked up on. You seem distant, like you're thinking about something else all the time. And you keep trying to sneak off, like you don't want to be around me or something. Plus, I saw the way you guys were looking at each other this morning.”
As careful as I had been as I tried to hide my feelings, I obviously wasn't doing that job very well. “Luke, that would be crazy. We're not even of the same species.” The truth hurt as it came out of my mouth. What I told him was not technically a lie, even though I did not care whatsoever how insane the idea was in theory. I was falling hard for Noah.
“I know. That's exactly what I thought. But why were you staring at each other like that this morning?” He searched my eyes as he questioned me. I could see that even just having this conversation pained him.
I raised one eyebrow, trying to look casual. “Luke, we weren't
staring
at each other. He's just the one that I've talked to the most, I guess. We're sort ofâ¦friends.”
He nodded as he walked over and sat down next to me on the bed. “He wasn't at dinner tonight, either. For some reason, I started to suspect that he was going to see you and that's why he wasn't there.”
Noah wasn't at dinner? He had disappeared all day! I racked my brain, wondering where he could possibly be, but had no ideas. When we met later to go back to the waterfall, I would have to ask him where he had been. He would show up to meet me. I knew it.
“Jady? Hello?” Luke was staring at me as I was lost in my thoughts. “Did you hear what I said?”
I frowned. “Yes. Noah didn't show up for dinner.”
He smirked. “I said I was starting to suspect that he wasn't there because he came here to see you.”
“Well, obviously, that's ridiculous, because as you can see, I was here, asleep, the whole time.” My tone of voice showed my growing irritation with Luke, but I didn't care. I was worried about Noah, and I didn't have time for Luke's insecurities.
Luke reached over and touched my hand. “Hey, don't get mad. I'm just worried about you; that's all.”
Hurriedly I pulled away from his touch, walked to the other side of the room, and turned to face him. “Luke, I have a dad. I don't need you to be checking on me and worrying about what I'm doing. I'm a big girl. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like you to leave so I can go to bed.”