Authors: C.A Ellis
I invited Lizzy out to lunch the next day, and I was even honest with her, explaining my need to see her because Monday I was flying to New York for four days.
Damn the New York trip
, I thought to myself. I kissed Lizzy on her cheek and pulled straight away, telling her I’d pick her up at midday tomorrow. It wasn’t quite so hard leaving her, knowing I’d be seeing her the next day. As she turned to open her door, I was walking away backwards so I could take in every last bit of her, for every last second that I could see her. I bashed into the car as I reached it because I was so lost in Lizzy.
I leaned on it for support, but made it look casual by stuffing my other hand in my trouser pocket just in time as she turned around and gave me a little wave.
Absolutely adorable
, I thought, and then she was gone.
When she couldn’t see me, I stumbled into the car for Daniel to take me home. I was emotionally exhausted in the nicest way possible. I sent Lizzy a quick text, despite it being pathetic; I wanted her to know that although I had left her, I was still thinking about her. As I entered my house, I was still grinning about my evening. I went straight to my room, took my clothes off and got into bed. My rush for sleep wasn’t just because I was unbelievably tired—which I was—but also because the sooner I went to sleep, the sooner it’d be morning, and then I’d be able to see Lizzy again. I, Lucas Castle, was acting like a lovesick teenager. Who’d have ever
thought? Not me, that’s for sure, but in saying that, I did like the feeling immensely. Smiling with thoughts of Lizzy running through my mind, I finally drifted off to sleep.
Lizzy and I met up for lunch the next day, but this time I took her out for a wonderful picnic in St James’s Park, and the simplicity of it is just wonderful. A blanket, a wicker basket full to the brim with traditional English finger sandwiches the Ritz would be proud of, crudities with dips and fruit, all topped-off with a bottle of my finest Prosecco I’d picked up on my last trip to Italy. It was just delightful; as was the young lady I was sitting with. We laughed, we cuddled, we kissed and it was just perfect. In fact, this was how our next few weekends were—just us making the most of our time together and getting to know one another.
I was quite insistent we spend all weekend together, as I worked so much during the week and often was away—which I never used to mind, but now I hated it. I think Katy had been a bit put out at first that I was taking up all of Lizzy’s weekends, so Lizzy had made a pact that Monday through Thursday she would stay at her own flat. On Thursday, they would have a girly night out, and then Friday evening Lizzy would come and stay with me until she left for work Monday morning. I’d put up with this for now, but sooner or later I would get my way—like I always did—and Lizzy would be with me seven days a week whether I was there or not.
That sounded so selfish
, I thought to myself, but I was totally selfish when it came to Lizzy.
After a couple of weeks, we had gone together to see George, and this time I let Lizzy do most of the talking. She seemed to have a way with him, and always ended up having him wrapped around her little finger. He had gone along with things, I think mainly because Lizzy seemed so happy. I had only seen her happy like this, but I certainly don’t think that had been the case over the last few years. And I have to say, I felt honoured that it was because of me that she smiled so much these days.
Although Lizzy stayed at mine on weekends, I hadn’t made love to her yet. God knows I had wanted to, but I wasn’t sure if she was ready, and I certainly wasn’t going to push her into anything she was unsure of. To be honest, on a Monday after she left and Thursday nights before she’d return, I always used to palm myself and knock one out. Not something I was used to doing, I had to admit, but something that was necessary, because when we kissed and cuddled, it was extremely hot. She was extremely hot, and to top all that off, I was already completely and utterly in love with her. The icing on the cake for me was that she seemed to feel exactly the same way for me, which made me an extremely lucky bastard.
One Friday, I picked Lizzy up from work and she was really quiet, not her usual bubbly self at all. After a few general questions about her day, I finally gave up with the vague answers I was getting from her. So she was quiet, and then I was quiet, and then I started to worry.
What if she’s in a mood with me?
I certainly couldn’t think of anything I had done to upset her. She had gone out with Katy last night; maybe she had met someone else?
No, she isn’t like that, although she might have if she’s fed up with me.
My eyebrows were pulled together in worry as I went over and over the different scenarios in my head, and then I heard her little voice calling me.
It was funny, because since we’d been together, Lizzy took to calling me Luke, and it certainly didn’t bother me, as I hadn’t even noticed until Cole had pointed it out to me. Although I hated that abbreviation of my name before and would never let anyone call me it; with Lizzy, I just found it endearing, and I actually really liked the fact that she was the only person in the universe who calls me Luke.
“Luke, are you okay? You look worried; is anything the matter? Is it me? Are you fed up with me? Or bored with us? Do you…” And so she went on and on with her questions, putting herself down, thinking I was no longer interested in her. It was awful. I had never heard her like this; I knew she had issues, as we had
talked about them, but I thought since we’d been together she had grown in confidence and self-belief, but obviously not. She clearly still had a lot to work on.
“Lizzy! No! Stop!” I almost shouted. She instantly looked at me with those scared, beautiful brown eyes, and I wanted to cry for her and what she had been though. “I love you.” This was the first time I had told her, although I had known from the very beginning.
“You. Love. Me?” she repeated like she couldn’t quite believe it.
“Yes, I do…very much so,” I reassured her.
She was deep in thought before she looked at me and said, “I’ve been thinking a lot today, and I had sort of come to the conclusion you were fed up with me and wasn’t really attracted to me anymore.” She then raked her sad puppy eyes over me as if searching for answers.
“Lizzy, what on earth made you think that?” I questioned, clearly puzzled. “What you’re saying is laughable; I think of you every minute of every day. I live for the moment every Friday evening when I can get you home with me and know I’ll have you until Monday. On the other days, I call, email and text you all the time, because when you’re not around my heart aches for you. So there it is—my cards are on the table. So how on earth did you misconstrue all those feelings into me not wanting you anymore?” I dragged out the last sentence like what she was thinking was preposterous.
“Well,” she started, “we’ve been together for a while now, and I know you’re known for you sexual prowess, but we kiss and we cuddle and it’s amazing, and I have all these feelings running through me, but you never take it any further. So I just thought maybe you didn’t want me like that, or I wouldn’t be good enough or experienced enough for you.”
She looked at her lap as she said all this in a quiet rush, playing with her fingers like she was embarrassed. As she finished, she looked up at me shyly and that was my undoing. I pulled the car over and grabbed her face, pulling her to me and crashing my lips to hers, thinking to myself,
how on earth can she not feel
the need and the throbbing desire in me?
After my assault on her lips, I pulled back and looked at her, and that’s when I realised, it didn’t matter even if she did feel it. She would just turn good vibes into negative ones.
She’d already admitted to me that she had been used by a couple of young pricks when she was younger, who had just wrapped up and stuck it to her—disgusting bastards.
At least they wrapped up
, I supposed. Lizzy had also admitted at the time that she had never experienced an orgasm, and I remembered her smiling and saying that being a fan of old romantic movies, she used to daydream that sex would be exactly like in the movies, and then her face saddened as she told me she now believed she was being naïve to even think such a thing. I guessed those shitheads ruined that daydream for her.
So that was why I was doing the right thing, waiting for her to be ready. I just wanted it to be perfect for her, but my poor, darling Lizzy had just took it as rejection. It saddened me, and it broke my heart. “Lizzy, sweetheart,” I said, cuddling her to me, “there is nothing I want more than to make love to you, but I want it to be perfect for you…for
us
.” As I saw a tear roll down her cheek, I knew it was with relief that her greatest fears hadn’t been confirmed then, nor would they ever be.
As we continued our journey home, I looked at her and decided to lighten the mood a bit, “Lizzy, every time I see you, I want to rip your clothes off, and I mean
every time
. I have to stop kissing you and put distance between us sometimes because I’m frightened I might literally ejaculate in my pants.”
She started giggling, and it was the best sound ever. “Well, just so you know, Luke, I am ready.” She looked at me then, so trusting, and that in itself was sexy as hell. Even with that open invitation from Lizzy, and after a lovely Friday evening of takeaway Chinese and a romantic comedy, I still cuddled her until she fell asleep.
Maybe it’s me who’s not ready
, I thought to myself, and then chuckled as my dick poked her even in her sleep.
I’ll take that as a ‘yeah, right’ then.
I left Lizzy a note the next morning, telling her I had to go out to buy a few things. I was out for an hour or so before I rushed back; I was already missing her and didn’t want to waste any more of our weekend apart. When I got back, I heard Lizzy singing in the kitchen, and it filled me with joy that she had pulled herself out of that down-on-herself mood from yesterday, and was back to the angel I knew and loved.
I had been calling her Angel for a while, and when she asked me why and I told her it was because I believed that her not going with her mum and dad on that tragic day had been fate. The Angels knew I was out there unknowingly waiting for her to fly into my life and turn it upside down in the most wonderful and fulfilling way possible; she was an angel like them and they saved her, for me. I could see the tears glistening in her eyes, but also the joy because that’s what I thought of her and now here she was in front of me; my absolute everything; my beautiful Angel, dancing and singing around the kitchen while she made us omelettes.
When Lizzy saw me standing in the doorway, she ran over and threw her arms around me, “Luke, just so you’re aware, I love you too.” Shocked but absolutely delighted by her statement, I just grinned back at her like the proverbial Cheshire cat.
“Well, Angel, you sure know how to turn a man’s day into his best day ever, don’t you?” Lizzy smiled back at me and went back to her duties as domestic goddess.
“What did you buy?” she asked, looking over her shoulder at me. I just carried on grinning at her and tapped my nose thinking,
that’s for me to know and you to find out later, baby
. And with that, I turned on my heel and went to hide my purchases for later.
After another relaxed day together, I went to have a shower and ran Lizzy a luxurious bubble bath. I called her up, and she seemed pleasantly surprised that the lights were dim in the bathroom and I had surrounded the bath with candles. I had put a glass of her favourite wine on the side along with her Kindle, as I know how
much she loved a good book when she was relaxing. I cheekily stood and watched as she got herself undressed, stepped in to the bath and slid down slowly into the bubbles.
I walked over to her, gave her a kiss on her head and left the room, not trusting myself to be in there a moment longer.
I couldn’t believe it when I entered the bathroom and saw Luke had transformed it into a relaxing tranquil haven. As Luke left the room, I relaxed further down into the bubbles and started to sip my wine. I thought over the events of yesterday, my solemn mood and opening up to Luke about how I was feeling. I should have learned by now it doesn’t solve anything by keeping things bottled up.
That point was certainly proven yesterday when all I was thinking was that Luke had lost interest in me, and then I saw with my own eyes how shocked he was at those thoughts I’d been having. I had seen how frantic he’d been to reassure me it was certainly not the case, and finally, Luke had declared his love for me.
Things really don’t get much better than that in my eyes
, I thought, smiling to myself. After about twenty minutes, when my wine was gone, I started getting a bit antsy and fidgety, and then it hit me as to why—the book I’m reading is a romance, but with some amazingly hot sex scenes in it, and I think if I’m being honest with myself, I’m getting a little bit turned on by them. I squirmed again as I thought about what I was just reading, and I also felt a little embarrassed.
I put my Kindle down, thinking that was enough reading for the night, and I climbed out of the bath. I grabbed my white,
soft, fluffy robe off of the door while debating what underwear I should put on, just in case Luke tried anything with me later. Just because the subject had finally been brought out into the open, I was still cautious, although I was convinced that he wouldn’t even bother. But just in case, I wanted to be ready and looking my best for him, my beautiful man.
I laughed to myself.
Look at me being presumptuous, just because I’ve read a bit of erotica.
To be perfectly honest, I was quite pleased that I was getting turned on. I was beginning to think I was made of stone. I’d read those sorts of books for a while, but I had never had any stirrings down there. Well, that was until I met Luke. Very often, I’d know when Katy had been reading similar books, because when I’d be dozing off to sleep I’d hear the hum of her vibrator, where I’d expected it had all gotten a bit much for her. I used to smirk, but inside I’d be wondering what was wrong with me that I didn’t need the same relief. So it was quite liberating to feel a few flutters down below—I felt normal for once.