The Vampire Next Door (13 page)

Damn him for being so concerned over my well-being. It would be so much easier for me if he just stayed a bloodthirsty monster all the time.

I studied his handwriting for the first time. The script wasn’t as smooth and confident as I would have expected from him. The letters were square and blocky, and he wrote mostly in capitals. There was a heavy dot of ink after the question mark, and I leaned down to rub my finger across it, wondering if he’d wanted to write more, but had thought better of it.

Cole and I had carried on with our separate lives for such a long time, drifting apart through the terrible art of apathy. I’d asked him to talk to me, and he’d insisted that there was nothing to talk about, that he saw me all the time and had no need to hold long, meaningful discussions with someone he was in such close contact with. I’d asked him to voice his feelings more often- specifically, to tell me that he loved me- and he’d refused to. I’d convinced myself that verbal affirmation wasn’t his love language of choice, and that I was being petty by asking for so much.

Underneath everything, though he’d claimed to be happy, Cole had sought emotional fulfillment elsewhere. And I had separated myself from him, too hurt from his constant brush-offs to make myself vulnerable again. Our world had been crumbling, but we hadn’t voiced our thoughts or feelings until it had been almost too late. Maybe now it was too late. I didn’t know if he was alive, or if I’d ever see him again.

I wondered if I was repeating the pattern all over again, too afraid of being hurt or rejected to open up to anyone. I’d been so distant with Eddie. The day he’d left, I’d acted like it was no big deal, like he wasn’t stomping all over my heart with his departure. Maybe if I’d asked him to stay, he would have. But I hadn’t asked. I hadn’t given him any indication that I cared for him at all.

I’d only just met Reeve, but I knew that I was doing it again- hiding away from my own feelings and desires out of fear of rejection. Reeve had no idea what sort of conflict was in my head because I hadn’t bothered to communicate it to him. Was his vampirism reason enough for me to keep my distance? Sure. But I wasn’t a complete idiot. I knew that there was something different about Reeve, and he’d proven it on more than one occasion already.

For every argument I made inside my head, there was an immediate qualifier, and my thoughts went around and around until finally I grew exasperated with my own indecision. I retreated back into the house, taking Holloway with me and leaving the note under the flowerpot where I had found it.

That night, I lay on the couch in the basement, staring up into the darkness and listening to Kellie’s rambling outside. For some reason, she was more composed tonight. She was speaking loud enough for me to hear, but her tone had none of the desperate hoarseness that typically accompanied her taunting. She was calmer, more collected.

I remembered when I’d first met Cole, and he’d given no indication that he and his ex-wife were on anything but amiable terms. It had been another one of those times that Cole’s refusal to communicate about important issues had come back to bite me in the ass. I’d mistakenly assumed that Kellie and I could be friends. After my parents’ extremely acrimonious divorce, I had no desire to get involved in another battle between exes.

I’d gone along with Cole to pick up the girls one day- another instance of Cole babysitting so Kellie could go out- and Kellie had refused to even speak to me. She’d stomped around the house for a good five minutes after seeing me, leaving Cole and I standing on her doorstep awkwardly, before she’d finally returned to the front door and said, “Thanks, Cole, but they’re not going anywhere with you and your new slut.”

She’d slammed the door in our faces.

I was angry after that- angry at Kellie for being so unreasonable when I’d wanted so desperately to be friends. I was also angry at Cole for putting me in that situation. Why didn’t he tell me that The Ex hated his guts?

It took almost a year for Cole to get his day in court, and fortunately a judge sided with him. Cole received joint custody and what they called a “parenting time schedule,” which gave him specific times that the girls were to be in his care. No longer could Kellie deny him time with his daughters. The one time she attempted, he called the police and showed them the court order. After the cops threatened to arrest Kellie for custodial interference, she’d finally caved. Of course, that didn’t stop her from the various other antics I’ve talked about before.

It was exhausting just to think about, and I was tired of it. I was tired of the drama. With The Ex sitting outside, sounding sane for once, I wondered if she was tired of it, too.

“Did you know that I begged him to come back to me?” she asked, and her voice so unusually quiet I wouldn’t have been able to understand her if I hadn’t been lying still, listening for her next words. I pictured her sitting outside the breezeway, leaning up against the wrought iron bars and staring up at the stars.

“He wouldn’t do it,” she continued. “He said we should just go through with the divorce for now. Those were his exact words. ‘Let’s just go through with the divorce for now.’ Like he had any intention of giving it another try. He just didn’t want me anymore. End of story. There was nothing I could do to change his mind.”

Kellie had never done this before- talked like a normal human being instead of hurling insults and making threats. It was also the first time I’d felt anything except anger as a result of what she was saying. I knew what it was like to have Cole break your heart.

But she’d done worse than that to him, I reminded myself. No matter how much he’d hurt her by leaving, she’d had no right to try to alienate his daughters from him. The lengths she’d gone to eliminate him from his kids’ lives had been appalling.

It was The Ex’s arrogance that was off-putting for so many people, and that was what had galled me the most over the years. She’d frequently made comments about how stupid Cole was, though he had a college degree and she had little education beyond high school. She’d called him a deadbeat, even though he paid more in child support than she grossed at whatever part-time job she was working at the moment. If the girls did something right, it was because of Kellie’s influence. If the girls misbehaved, it was Cole’s fault. Her constant belittlement and abuse had taken its toll on my capacity for sympathy, rendering me incapable of feeling anything for her except for, perhaps, pity.

It was pity that I felt now, listening to her lament her lost relationship outside my front door.

“It was his fault,” she went on. “He committed before he was ready, and felt trapped when the girls were born.” She snorted. “As if that was my fault. He was the one who wanted sex all the time, and he never used a condom.”

That sounded more like the Kellie I knew. I knew that both of their kids had been unplanned pregnancies- unplanned, but not unwanted, thank goodness. And despite Kellie’s insanity, I loved those girls and wouldn’t have traded them for anything, not even a reprieve from their mother’s wrath. I was glad that Cole hadn’t bothered with any birth control. Still, a little communication about contraception during their brief marriage might have saved all of us the hassle of a lot of finger-pointing later.

She continued, “Then he left, and introduced me to you, and I knew- I just knew- that you were the reason he’d left. He found something better. Someone with no strings attached who would pay his bills for him and- and- and not hold him accountable. You were so
easy.”

Forgetting her twisted timeline of events- I hadn’t even met Cole until three years after they’d divorced- it made me sad that Kellie had no idea who I was, other than this fictional figure she’d created in her head. I’d been the first person in Cole’s life to hold him accountable. When he would have walked away from Kellie’s bullying, I’d asked him if that was truly the kind of father he wanted his daughters to remember. I hadn’t fought his battles for him, but I’d supported him as he struggled onward. I’d held him when he cried, and reassured him when he had lost all hope. Kellie had only criticized him for his weaknesses, but I’d sought to fill his weaknesses with strengths of my own.

We’d had a partnership, and I loved him as much for the confident man he’d become as for the broken man I’d first encountered.

I blinked, trying to stay the tears that suddenly sprang to my eyes. I’d loved Cole with every fiber of my being, and yet he’d ground my heart beneath his heel without even blinking. The wounds he had inflicted on me ran deep, hidden away in a place that time had not yet touched. The pain of his betrayal was as fresh as the day it had occurred.

“What was I supposed to do?” Kellie wailed, and I could hear the tears in her voice. “He was supposed to stay with me forever. And he just walked away…he ruined everything…I wasn’t going to let him steal the girls from me. He would have. You know he would have.”

I closed my eyes, and a tear ran down my temple. I must have run this exact conversation through my mind a dozen times in the last five years. I knew precisely what I wanted to say in response to her accusations. So many lives had been affected in their divorce- not just Kellie’s. And she’d done nothing to minimize the damage. If anything, she’d made it a thousand times worse through her selfishness and vindictive behavior.

For some reason, though, the strongest emotion I was experiencing at that moment was pity. That wasn’t all I was feeling, but it was most prominent among my mixed feelings.

Something had broken free inside me. Now that I was leaving and I knew I’d never see her again, I’d somehow managed to let go of some of my anger towards The Ex. Suddenly I was able to feel sorrow for the person she’d become, the life she’d wasted, the opportunities she’d squandered with her daughters.

I was still bitter and resentful, and most of all, still deeply wounded over everything she’d done to hurt us over the years…but I was healing.

“I can’t forgive you yet,” I whispered into the darkness, though I knew she couldn’t hear me. “I’m not ready.”

Given time, however, I would be.

CHAPTER 10

The next morning, when I let Holloway out, I saw another note underneath the flowerpot
, along with two bulging cloth shopping bags. I peeked into the bags. One had canned food inside, and the other was filled with bags of white rice and pinto beans.

It was impossible at this point for me to think that Reeve had anything but good intentions. It was a pretty day, bright and sunny without a trace of humidity, so I sat down on the bench on the patio, his letter in my hand. I stared at the shopping bags, trying to figure out why I felt flattered instead of peeved. Eddie had lived with me for five months, and his attempts to be nice to me had made me feel uncomfortable, even resentful. But I didn’t feel resentful towards Reeve.

Maybe it was different with Reeve because there were no strings attached, as far as I could tell. From day one, I’d known that Eddie’s primary goal was to get into my pants. Although he wasn’t going to force himself on me, he hadn’t bothered to hide his irritation at the fact that I had no plans to sleep with him. There was something different about Reeve. I instinctively felt like I could trust him, and in a major role-swap,
I
was the one who was lusting after
him.
It was only my common sense that kept me wary.

I unfolded his letter and started reading.

Kennedy,

Know that this is new and confusing for me, too. It’s hard being alone, but being with you gives me purpose.

I don’t want to lose your friendship.

Reeve

I re-read the letter several times, surprised that he could say so much with so few words.

This letter was bittersweet for me. Whenever Cole and I had argued, he’d always stormed off- or worse, completely shut down, pretending like I wasn’t even in the room. It didn’t matter what I said. He would just act like I wasn’t there. If I ever wanted to talk to him about an issue, I had to email him- I’m not even joking- and then I had to wait a week or so for a response.

As a result, writing down my feelings was not one of my favorite activities. Reeve’s letter was an uncomfortable reminder that I’d been exhibiting some of the traits I hated most about Cole- a total lack of willingness to communicate and the completely irritating habit of pretending that if you waited long enough, a problem would just resolve itself.

I shook my head and sighed heavily. It wasn’t right to keep Reeve hanging like I had been. He deserved to see me face to face, and honestly, after thinking it over, I kind of felt like I was making a big deal out of nothing. He’d defended me against the redheaded man. He’d even released the blonde woman because of me. It wasn’t fair of me to judge him for that incident.

I decided to go visit him again.

This time, I left Holloway at home.

I dressed in a long-sleeved shirt and my only pair of jeans, and I made sure to tuck my photograph of the girls into my pocket. Taking all my usual weapons with me, I made my way next door. Although my knee was still a little sore and weak, I was walking almost normally now. I knew I’d be back to normal in no time.

I was also very much aware of the fact that I could probably find a car on my own, without Reeve’s help. But that didn’t stop me from going next door.

I knocked on the door and waited a few moments, knowing that he was probably asleep.

The sun was hot, and the wind whipped the wet strands of my ponytail about. This far south, there was a fair bit of humidity and near-constant wind in spring and autumn. I was looking forward to getting back to Phoenix, where the heat was still and dry, a dead and predictable climate instead of the fickle weather of the various Arizona towns along the Mexican border.

I didn’t have to wait long before the door opened. “Come on in,” Reeve said from behind it, and his voice was rough, like he’d just woke up.

I moved through the doorway and stepped down into the foyer before I turned to look at Reeve.

He was shirtless again, but he was wearing jeans and he had another tee shirt in his hand. As he closed the door, I noticed that the bullet hole in his chest where the redheaded man had shot him was completely healed over with new, pink skin.

I looked down. I was standing almost directly where the man had landed after Reeve had smashed him into the wall. Though the cracks from the impact were still etched in the drywall beside me, the floor beneath my feet showed no trace of blood. As spotless as the house had been the first time I’d been here, I wasn’t really surprised. Reeve was apparently some kind of neat freak.

Reeve pulled the tee shirt over his head, and motioned for me to follow as he turned to enter the hallway. “How are you feeling?”

I was glad that he didn’t make a huge issue out of apologizing for what had happened before. I hadn’t been sure how to broach the subject, and it seemed like he was willing to postpone that discussion until I was ready to talk about it. That was considerate of him.

“No more crutches,” I said, trailing after him. “I feel pretty good. I’ll be back on my scooter within a couple weeks.”

He grinned as he took his usual place on the loveseat. “I knew you’d bounce right back.” He didn’t even try to hide the affection in his tone, and my heart ignored my common sense and performed a happy little somersault in my chest.

“How about you?” I blurted out, trying to distract myself by talking. “How are things going?”

“I’ve been bored,” Reeve said. “Board games suck when you’re alone, and your neighbors didn’t do much else in the way of entertainment.”

“I guess I wouldn’t know.” I’d only been acquainted with them through our connections via Priscilla and her friend at school, which was pretty normal for me. I’d never made a habit of befriending neighbors. “You’re the first neighbor I’d actually consider a friend,” I said out loud, realizing it for the first time at that instant.

“You just want me for my mechanical skills,” Reeve answered, and softened the harsh statement with a smile. “Not that I blame you. I’m just using you to cure my boredom.”

“A friendship based totally on mutual needs,” I mused, shifting my leg into a more comfortable position on the couch. “Well, I don’t mind being used if you don’t.”

“I don’t mind at all,” Reeve said. Our eyes met, and for a moment there was something dark and almost primal in his gaze, something that made my pulse speed up and my entire body tingle.

This was dangerous, and I knew the smart thing would to be to walk out right now and never speak to this man again. I was attracted to Reeve on a visceral level. My body was reacting to the way he looked at me- not a hug, or a kiss, or even a caress. I’d have to be a total fool to think that I could resist the chemistry between us for any extended length of time.

The foolish part of my brain was clearly in control at that moment, however, because as much as I knew I should walk away, I was that much more desperate to maintain the first connection I’d felt with someone in a very long time.

The words came pouring out of me then, unbidden but not unwelcome. “I’m sorry I just…stopped talking to you,” I said, ducking my head and staring at the floor. “I used to be a really good communicator, but…but…”

But my husband damaged me to the point that I can hardly form a coherent sentence.

“I have a hard time talking about my feelings,” I finished lamely. “But I wanted to tell you…I’m so happy you let that woman go.”

He didn’t meet my eyes. “If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”

There was something bleak in his tone, and I frowned. “Are you worried she might tell other people where you are?”

“She was very clear about her intentions.”

He could be so frustratingly vague sometimes. “What did she say?”

“She said she’d be back.”

I arched one eyebrow. “She threatened a vampire? Wow, she’s dumber than I thought. What else did she say?”

“I think ‘I’ll be back to stake your murdering ass! You and your girlfriend both! You won’t get away with this!’ was about it.”

“She’s probably mad because you ate her boyfriend.”

“That might have something to do with it.”

“It was his own fault. If he’d left when I told him to, you would have let them both walk,” I said.

Reeve didn’t agree or disagree with either of my statements, which didn’t really serve to bolster my confidence. He’d already said several times that he wouldn’t hurt me, but he’d never made that promise about anyone else- as evidenced by our previous confrontation with the drifters.

“I was thinking about looking around the neighborhood tomorrow, seeing if there were any usable cars. If I’m lucky, I might find something with the keys still in it.” My false cheeriness sounded ridiculous, even to my ears. If survivors had been desperate enough to steal my car from my garage months ago, then I was fairly certain there wouldn’t be any cars just sitting around with keys inside them.

But I was bored stiff, and I didn’t think I could take another day of lounging around on the couch in the basement.

Reeve raised his head slightly, regarding me with what I recognized as something resembling disapproval. I mentally braced myself for the lecture that was sure to come. I’d heard it many times from Eddie and Cole both. I’d make a decision, they’d consider it too rash or too dangerous, and I’d have to sit through a lecture about why I was wrong and shouldn’t try to do things on my own, ever.

But the vampire surprised me by nodding instead. “Between the two of us, we ought to be able to find something fast. I have more range than you do right now, so I’ll look tonight and let you know if I find anything. There are a lot of cars abandoned around town. I’ll just have to be sure it runs and doesn’t have any major issues.”

“What do you consider major issues?” I asked, desperately hoping that air conditioning was as much a deal breaker for him as it was for me. I couldn’t imagine driving around Phoenix without AC.

There was a pause, and then Reeve said, with a smile playing around his lips, “What do you consider major issues, Kennedy? You’re not great at playing it cool.”

Busted. “Air conditioning,” I admitted. “I mean, I can live without it, but I’m hoping I don’t have to.”

“We’ll see.” There was amusement in his tone.

There was a short pause then, and I chewed on my lower lip, suddenly feeling ill-at-ease. “Do you have plans today?” I asked finally.

Reeve shook his head. “Nope.”

“I guess it’s pretty hard to have a social life during daylight hours when you’re a vampire.”

“I do miss my spa days,” he agreed, deadpan, and I laughed.

I wanted to ask him to do something with me, but obviously our options were somewhat limited. I didn’t feel like watching any more television, we’d gone through almost all of Reeve’s board games, and it wasn’t like Reeve could leave the house.

“I have something for you,” Reeve said after a lengthy pause, and I sat up straighter, trying to look cheerful.

“Really? What is it? Season tickets for the Arizona Broadway Theater?”

He didn’t get my lousy attempt at humor. “There’s a Broadway theater in Arizona?”

“There was, in Phoenix. I’m pretty sure it’s not operating anymore, unless a bunch of vamps decided to get together and do a nightly presentation of
Dracula: The Musical.”
My tone was light, but I felt a genuine pang of sadness at the mention of my favorite theater. I’d seen several musicals there, including
Grease
and
Nine to Five.
It was sad to think that was just one of so many experiences I’d never be able to relive.

“No, it’s not season tickets for the theater. Come on. I’ll show you,” Reeve said, standing up. He held out a hand to me, and I took it, letting him pull me up to my feet. His fingers lingered against mine for only a moment after I got my balance, and then he was moving away, heading for the doorway to his bedroom.