The Urn Carrier (13 page)

“Yes,” Tessa agrees.

As they stand, she places her hand on Jen’s forearm. Electricity
jumps between them and for a moment they both just stay still.

“Thank you. For everything. For being sane back there when I
wasn’t.”

“My pleasure. If nothing else, I’m a good foxhole friend. I’ve got
your back.”

“And I’ve got yours.”

“You can whoop ass too. I see that.”

They high five and climb higher than Angel’s Landing.

THE AHRENS HOST another campfire with a rousing game of euchre.
Tessa begs off early so she can hook her truck and rig for her departure the
next day. No sooner is she asleep than a loud knocking on the camper begins.

“Park Ranger! Everyone must evacuate in fifteen minutes. The dam
has broken. The river is going to flood the campgrounds.”

Tessa jumps to her feet. In a matter of minutes, she moves along
with all the other campers. Lights on, engines running. People picking up camp.
After Tessa throws her camp chairs in and gets Murphy in the truck, the awning
up and the stairs stowed, she checks on the Ahrens and her other neighbors.
Everyone is moving forward skillfully.

The vehicles follow each other like a well-organized parade. Up up
up the highway they go and eventually they all begin turning, where a regular
person, a camper, stands with a flashlight, waving them in. This side road also
goes up a steep grade. A woman with a flashlight, no park ranger, is guiding
people in. Once the vehicles enter a large area, other campers are helping
vehicles park. When her rig is situated safely, Tessa sees if she can help. She
guides vehicles of all shapes and sizes, illuminating their path, with her
lantern. She reminds herself of an old railroad guide, swinging the bright LED
lantern so drivers can see the way clearly.

“Stack ’em in as close as possible so we can fit as many as we
can. We’ll sort it out in the morning,” calls one of the other guides. Tessa
raises her light in acknowledgement and parks each one as close as she can and
as organized.

Soon, everyone has been moved to higher ground and in short order,
engines switch off, lights go out, and an eerie silence overtakes a hundred
rigs parked in the high desert.

The next morning, Tessa works her courage up. After seeing Angel’s
Landing, she decides the rooftop of her rig is not that high. She climbs up,
still tenuous, but manages to take a picture. She is one of the first ones
awake. As she climbs down, Bill Ahren is there with a cup of coffee for her.

“Why, howdy do, young lady.”

“Hi. And thank you.”

“Fine morning.”

“Yes, it is.”

“You know,” he waves his coffee cup at the sight before them, all
the rigs parked in orderly fashion, everyone safe, “this is why I don’t believe
all the doomsday people, the politicians, The Corporate Run Nation that we are
becoming. Ordinary people do extraordinary things. In crisis, the best of
people come out.”

“It’s awesome how everyone worked together. I didn’t see any
official people last night.”

“Nope. One experienced soul led us to higher ground and once we
were all here, we helped each other fit in. Yep. It’s a fine morning indeed.”

He strolls back to his rig.

Tessa takes in yet another lesson and
friends from the road.

Chapter 17

THREE DAYS BEFORE she’s to meet Dina, their evening FaceTime call
comes in. Tessa frowns. It’s a regular call.

“No FaceTime? “

“Oh, baby, I couldn’t bear to look at your face.”

“What’s wrong?” Acid pours into Tessa’s stomach.

“I was really trying to avoid this . . .”

“What is it?”

“I have to postpone our plans . . . but just for a week. Good
thing I got flight insurance.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Oh, sweetie. I wish I could reach right through the phone right
now. I can feel your disappointment. No one is more disappointed than I.”

I doubt that
.

“JR broke her leg playing coed softball. The lead professor of the
cyclotron asked me to come in and babysit the last reports. This could be a real
step up for me.”

Tessa is speechless.

“Johnson is out because he got caught shooting meth. Can you
believe that dickweed? Totally blew his scholarship for next year. Handed
everything on a silver platter and he upends it. Fucktard. And Muriel Jubb is
out because she decided to go to that seminar in Pittsburgh, which leaves me.
I’m totally on for this. Baby? Are you there?”

Tessa nods, realizes what she’s doing and clears her throat.
“Yes.”

“I’m soooo sorry, but really, it’s just a week. JR can crutch it in
after that. If it wasn’t so important I would never do this in a million years.
I took all the measures so it won’t mess up your timing too. I rerouted myself
through Seattle. We have two whole weeks together. It’ll be awesome. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“You’re not saying very much. That means you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Tessa lies.

“Okay. You’re mad at the situation.”

“I’m disappointed.”

“Oh, I know. Me too. But I promise, I’ll be there in Seattle. One
week and three days. Baby? I’ve gotta go. It’s three hours later here and I am
beat.”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Tessa.”

“I love you more.”

She can see Dina smiling all the way from Michigan.

“Bye for now, punkin. Sweet dreams.”

THE NEXT TIME Dina FaceTimes her Tessa doesn’t answer. She lets
the little ringtones on the iPhone go on and on. Fifteen minutes later, Dina
tries again. Tessa looks at the time on the phone. Ten p.m. here, one a.m.
Michigan. She lets it go again. The phone doesn’t ring again. She suffers a
little guilt, because she knows she’s being petty, but something won’t let her
pick up.

She continues watching
Fried Green Tomatoes
, one of the
DVD’s she found under the bed in the storage compartment. It’s the good part,
in the restaurant, as Idgie is saying, “Believe me when I say, I’m as settled
as I ever hope to be . . .”

After the FaceTime goes unanswered, Tessa waffles about calling
back and instead shuts off the phone.

SINCE DINA IS not flying into San Francisco, Tessa changes her
route so she can see part of Yosemite. She decides to touch the southern edge
and takes a hike up to a stand of ancient sequoias.

Here too, pictures she’s seen in books do no justice to these
otherworldly trees. Their sheer size and age, their space and intense presence
is palatable for her, overwhelming her. A deep sacredness permeates this
ground. How can people even think of cutting these beings?

Some of the sequoias have large open areas at the trunk. She
touches the bark with both her palms. If she relaxes she senses a low vibration
under the bark. From this stand of sequoias, she can overlook a huge valley.
She snaps a picture of the valley. Then she snaps a picture of the first
sequoia she met. It seems to beckon her.

It isn’t on the agenda, but Tessa is moved to leave a little bit
of Aunt Sadie inside the trunk of this sequoia. She believes her aunt doesn’t
mind at all.

She’s grateful she can walk pain free. She sees so many others
struggling with limps or packs or weight. Her young legs and lungs carry her
into the higher atmosphere and she remembers. She’s supposed to call Paul
before she goes into the Canadian Rockies. Something about adjusting the
carburetor and timing for the higher altitude of the Rockies. She could have a
garage do it. But something inside her wants to be independent, free, and Paul
said he’d guide her through it.

Paul answers her FaceTime right away. “Your hair is getting long.”

“Think so?” she turns her head side to side. She’s flirting
lightly and they both grin.

“So what’s the best thing you’ve seen so far?”

“Well, the Grand Canyon is definitely awesome, but so are the Gila
Cliff Dwellings, and even the City of Rocks.”

“City of Rocks?”

“It’s a primitive campground way out in the middle of the desert.
It’s about thirty miles from the Mexico border.”

“Dangerous? Drug runners?”

“Nooooooo. It’s all desert, and then from nowhere these huge
monolithic rocks spring up. The sunsets are amazing there. And the stars at
night? Brilliant. I didn’t know there were so many stars in the sky. The
sequoias at the edge of Yosemite are spectacular. They are like people to me.”

“How so?”

She smiles because Paul is seriously listening to her.

“Because, when I stand near them, they emanate. They’re like
people giant trees, breathing, moving, like they could almost walk.”

“Wow. One of these days . . .”

“You’re going to get out of that garage and travel.”

“Yes! Now, tell me about the truck? How has it
been running?”

“Perfectly. Do I need an oil change soon?”

“Truthfully? You can go five thousand miles;
you’ll be all right.”

“How about the Canadian Rockies?”

“How far are you from there?”

“About a week. Maybe ten days.”

“Okay. Call me once you’re over the border, before you get on any
twelve percent grades. It won’t cost more will it? From Canada?”

“Mr. Forsythe took care of all that. He arranged with the phone
service.”

“Cool, dude. So . . .” Paul’s green eyes look directly at her.
“Miss me?”

Tessa hesitates.

“Oh, I know, your heart belongs to someone else, but just for a
moment let me pretend. Close your eyes and tell me.”

Tessa closes her eyes. She does like Paul. There’s something about
him that intrigues her. She opens her mouth and closes it.

“What?” he asks.

“Is this like I’m imagining for the rest of my life?”

“Imagine for more than just one night.”

“Yes.” She smiles, opening her eyes.

“Ha! I knew it.”

“If you were a girl it would be better.”

“Oh, man . . . that’s just cold.”

She overhears voices in the background, teasing him.

“Oh Paulllllllll!”

“Where are you?”

“Knock it off,” he says to someone off screen. “Oh, just some
douche at work.” He turns again and says to the voice off camera more than
Tessa, “He forgets I can fire his ass.” He turns back to her. “Any problems on
the road, I mean, with people?”

“Just Uncle Chuck.” She hesitates.

“What?”

“Sometimes I feel someone is following me.”

“Are they?” Paul asks sharply.

“No. I don’t think so. Chuck creeped me out a little.”

“You want me to break his legs?”

“No-ho, Silly.”

“I could scare him.”

“Then you’d be in jail, really? Do you want that?”

“No, but I’d tell him to quit fucking with you.”

“You’re sweet. I don’t believe I’ve ever had someone offer to kick
someone’s ass for me. That’s almost better than a date and chocolates.”

“Now you’re just messing with me.”

She breaks into an open smile.

“Damn. Does it help if I say,” Paul whispers, “that deep down I
always wanted to be a lesbian?”

“Okay, that almost tops breaking someone’s legs.” She pauses. “You
could have anyone you wanted. I’m just some sort of out of reach thing for
you.”

“It’s not that. At all. And if you weren’t in love, I would
seriously date you.”

“You’re good for my ego.”

“Yeah, well, mine’s taking a beating. You said you fall for
someone’s eyes and their soul. Is that true?”

“Most of the time. The bond seems deepest with women.”

“I like your eyes and your soul.”

Tessa doesn’t know what to say.

“Sorry,” Paul apologizes.

“No, it’s okay. I just don’t know what to do with that.”

“Just hear it, I guess.”

“Paul?”

“Yes?”

“Be my friend. Keep being my friend.”

He hesitates and then just says, “I will, Tessa. Bye.”

“Bye.”

TESSA MAKES HER way up the California coastline, and her next drop
is near the border of Oregon in a place called Stout Grove. A different species
of redwood from the sequoias grows in this ancient coastal redwood grove along
the Smith River.

She and Murphy have the place to themselves. It’s late afternoon
as they walk and the sun slants into the mystical depths of the trees spiraling
above them. Tessa imagines Jack and the Beanstalk, climbing into the heavens,
into the canopy above where western songbirds nestle and sing. The winter wren
being the loudest.

Here too, she is so small, surrounded by such giant living things,
beings that have been around for upwards of two thousand years. What have they
seen, felt, and lived? She tries to imagine the thousands of creatures that
rely on them for their environment and living space through the centuries. She
is having difficulty marrying her concept of time with these trees.

She finds the creek, lined with stones, leading to the river, and
a great blue heron lifts off in front of them. A rock piper skitters along the
shoreline, switching back and forth, looking for insects and prey under the
various stones. Murphy wades into the creek water and his long back leg hairs
waft with the current as the creek feeds into the larger, faster, river water.

Tessa crouches down and spills a bit of Aunt Sadie into the creek
and watches the lighter ashes carry along the surface as they twirl and spin,
turning into the stronger current.

The heavier ash, as always, sinks to the bottom.

She makes her way around the bend and sprinkles some more—the
fast-moving current taking it downriver, the larger ashes disappearing into
deep crevices.

How can no one else be here?

Tessa decides to camp and paint here for a few days, before moving
north to her last mail drop, Florence, Oregon.