The Unblocked Collection (57 page)

I couldn’t let her go.

“Baby, it’s time.”

My body was moving. The cushion of the seat was no longer underneath me and my face was now so close to hers. I pressed my lips against the softness of her skin. So thin and hollow and cold now. “I love you, Anna.”

Her hand cupped my face. “And I love you.”

I felt Derek hug my waist, and suddenly I was moving again. My feet weren’t on the ground, they were in the air, my body too. Derek’s strong arms were holding me, carrying me out of the room. As he pressed me against his chest, air rushed over my face, chilling the tears on my cheeks.

“Hold on,” he said in my ear. “We’re almost out of here.”

I didn’t know if I was holding on, but I knew I was holding in.

Another breeze washed over me as he brought me through a second doorway. This one wasn’t as strong; it still hurt, it still stung, it still shackled my throat making it hard to breathe.

I heard a thud as he pushed up against something. We were no longer moving. A bright light shined above us. It made my eyes burn.

And then we were dropping. Dropping, dropping, dropping until we hit something hard beneath us. I felt pressure…Derek squeezing me.

“I’m here, and I’m not letting you go,” he said. “You can let it out now, Frankie. Cry as hard as you want to now.”

I lifted my head and saw that I was on his lap; he sat against a wall, on some floor in some unfamiliar space that still smelled like alcohol and bleach. He held my face as I stared into his eyes. He didn’t pretend to comfort me. He knew he couldn’t.

Nobody could.

“Let it out, baby. It’s okay.”

So I stopped holding it all in. I cried, I roared. I raged. I turned myself inside out trying to wring the pain from my soul. No matter how hard I tried, there was always more.

“Baby,” he said against my ear. The softness of his flannel rubbed over my cheek. It was wet from soaking in my tears. But I could barely feel it. I could barely feel anything. “I’m here.”

Hearing him say that again made me weep even harder.

DEREK

USING FRANKIE’S CODE,
I opened the gate to her underground garage, parked in a spot near the elevator, and turned off the engine. She was curled in a ball in the corner of my Suburban, her knees tucked inside my flannel, strands of her hair stuck to her cheeks. Tears streamed down her face, dampening the window she rested against.

Once she went into the ICU, I’d gotten the nurse to open up a little about Anna’s health. She told me her cancer had spread from her pancreas and was now everywhere. The oncologist didn’t know how Anna had tolerated the pain for as long as she had without being heavily medicated. And now her organs were shutting down, and she wasn’t getting enough oxygen. She wasn’t expected to live through the night. I didn’t mention any of this to Frankie; I hadn’t needed to. The minute I’d gotten her back into my car, she told me she knew she wouldn’t be seeing Anna again.

For the first time since we’d been together, I didn’t know how to fix how she was feeling. I didn’t know how to make her feel better, or how to take the pain away. It fucking tore me apart.

I opened the passenger door and unclipped her seatbelt. “Wrap your arms around my neck,” I told her.

She made no effort to move. “I can walk.”

“You don’t need to. I’ve got you.”

Instead of waiting for her, I draped her arm around me and hoisted her into the air. She clung to me, pressing her face into my neck as we rode the elevator. When we reached her room, I laid her on top of the bed and slowly removed the flannel. I took off her tank top and pants and tucked her under the covers. The emptiness in her eyes was like a goddamn punch in the gut.

I dropped her clothes into the hamper and moved toward the door.

“Don’t leave.” Her voice was so quiet, almost child-like.

“I’m just getting you some water. I’m not leaving.”

She tugged the blanket up to her neck and folded it under her chin, and I went to the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and set it on her nightstand. Then I stripped off my own clothes and climbed in next to her, pulling her back against my chest.

“I don’t feel anything, Derek.”

I wrapped my arm around her stomach and rested my chin on her shoulder, rubbing my whiskers over her skin while I breathed in her scent. “You’re in shock.”

“No, I’m completely numb. She’s dying…I should feel something, shouldn’t I?”

“It’s probably a good thing. When it finally hits, it’s going to hurt like hell.”

She rolled over to face me. My fingers moved around to her back, and she lifted them to her face. “Thank you.”

I brushed the hair from her cheeks and wiped her eyes. The moon lit them just enough to see what she was thanking me for. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to.” She blinked, but there were no tears. “Tonight would have been a lot for anyone, but you didn’t pause…not for a second.”

“This won’t be the only time you break down. I’ll be there for you the next time, too.”

When she took a deep breath, I could feel how much it pained her. “This hurts even more than when my mom died. I was only four at the time…I didn’t know what was really happening then. But I’m old enough now to know what all of this really means.”

I held her face a little tighter and moved mine closer. “I won’t let you go through this alone.” She closed her eyes and nodded as I ran my thumb along her ear and down over her lip.

“I’m not too numb to not feel that,” she whispered. My fingers traveled down to her neck. “Or that.” I exhaled, and she closed her eyes. “That, too.”

I pressed my lips on hers, not using enough pressure for her to open her mouth, but enough for her to feel me, to know how close we were. She breathed into me so deeply, it came out as a moan. My dick responded more than I wanted it to. Her naked body was clutched against mine, her nipples rubbing my chest and the heat from her pussy on my thigh. My mind was trying to convince my body to relax.

When she began to move my fingers down her neck and toward her chest, my eyes opened. “I can feel that, too,” she said. Once again, I searched them for an answer, my thumb caressing the soft skin between her tits. What I saw, what I felt, told me she wasn’t thinking straight. “Make me feel more, Derek. Please.”

As much as I wanted to bury my cock in her tight warmth, she was in a dark and painful place. I feared it would only eventually make her feel worse. She needed time to absorb what was happening.

“Frankie, I—”

“Don’t say no to me,” she said sharply. “And don’t try to tell me what I need. Not now. Oh God, especially not now. I just want to feel something. However long it lasts, no matter how I feel when it’s over, during those minutes we’re together I just want to feel pleasure. Only you can give me that…and I want you to.”

I wouldn’t deny her. Not ever. Hell, it was physically impossible. And I wouldn’t tell her how she might feel afterward…it sounded like she already knew. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“It’s what I need, Derek…to feel you.”

Her eyes seemed to match her words. So I dipped my head underneath the covers and kissed my way down her body. When I reached her pussy, I didn’t tease her, didn’t allow her cravings to build. I spread her lips apart and slid my tongue across her clit, my movements fast and sharp. Already slick with wetness, I slipped my fingers straight into her, pausing just long enough to inhale her scent. Her cunt tasted as good as it smelled.

She arched her back as I sped up, flicking across her hardening clit while two of my fingers plunged in and out of her tightness. She tugged my hair and groaned my name, her body rocking against my mouth, showing me how much she needed this bit of release I was about to give her. She was sopping; my beard full of her tangy flavor. I lifted her hips so I could devour even more of her.

“Fuck me, Derek,” she begged.

I sat up and circled her legs around my waist, slowly sliding into her.
Fuuuuck
. My unwrapped cock felt every bit of her hot wetness. It was still such a shock. I could have come right at that moment, but I was starting to understand how badly she needed this.

“Oh my God,” she breathed. I was fully inside her, the lips of her pussy resting on the base of my cock. I gave her a minute to adjust. Then I felt her relax as I reached the tip, and tense up as I shoved my way back in.

“Harder,” she demanded.

I grabbed her nipple, rolling it between my fingers, squeezing the end to make her cry out while I plunged in and out.

“Faster,” she moaned.

I held her ass into the air so I had full access to her pussy and drove into her as hard and as fast as she could take it. Her screams were the most honest thing I’d ever heard. I pressed my thumb to her clit and continued to stroke her. Her hands moved to her nipples and she tugged those tight light buds, yanking them harder than I thought she could handle.

“Derek…”

“Come whenever you’re ready.”

She tilted her face toward me. “What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me.”

The way her pussy tightened around me, the way she moaned my name…those were enough to make me come. I gripped her thighs and swiveled my hips and pumped again and again. Then I shot my load straight into her, her eyes opening and connecting with mine as her stomach quivered. “Frankie…” It felt so good to say her name as she milked the cum out of me.

I rolled onto my back, pulling her against my chest and brushed my fingers through her hair. Her body relaxed even more. For the moment, she wasn’t crying, but I knew that wouldn’t last.

“Will you be able to sleep?” I asked.

“No.”

“Do you have anything to take? I can run to the store if you don’t.”

She took a minute to respond. “I don’t want to take anything. I have to be awake and alert when the phone rings.”

Neither of us said anything more.

We did nothing but lean against each other. I didn’t know how much time had passed. But at some point while it was still dark, her cell rang. I held her when she answered, I kept holding her after she hung up, when she cried so hard and shook so deeply. I let her go when she ran to the bathroom and threw up.

When it looked like her stomach was empty, I moved in behind her, curling her against my body and wiped her face with a cold washcloth. Her skin was sweaty from getting sick and the cool tile helped bring her temperature down. I rocked her, trying to sooth her shaking until she finally closed her eyes.

“I didn’t tell her, Derek. I didn’t tell her everything I needed to.”

“She knew how you felt…she even told you that.”

Still, I knew what she meant. There was so much I’d wanted to say to my father and hadn’t been given the chance. So much I would have added now as an adult, too young at that age to know the real impact he’d had on my life. But he didn’t need me to tell him. He died with so much love and respect. So did Anna.

“It hurts,” she whispered. “It hurts so fucking much.”

“One day, you’ll feel a little less pain, and every day will get a bit easier.”

“But it hurts…”

I felt it. I heard it. I watched it.

I held her and I rocked her while the rain pounded against the bathroom windows. The sound was needed, a little relaxing, even. She took deep breaths and eventually the tension in her body began to loosen. She needed sleep, and I had no idea when she’d eaten last. Her skin had cooled, but every time I tried to move her, she refused. She said all she wanted was the rain, the cold tile, and me. Hours passed, and we stayed just as we were, our naked bodies wrapped around one another, unable to let go.

Sunlight eventually filled the room and her stomach began to growl.

“You need to eat.” There was something else she’d mentioned on the way back from the hospital. Something Anna had asked her to do. “And when you’re ready, we have to go to her apartment.”

“I can’t.” She rubbed her hand over her stomach. “I want the box, but I can’t go there…”

“Then I’ll go for you.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You don’t have to ask me.” I leaned down and brushed my lips over hers. I then kissed the tip of her nose and the middle of her forehead. “I’ll do anything for you.”

She didn’t want to move from the bathroom floor, but I didn’t give her a choice. I carried her into the shower and washed her hair and body. Then I put her into bed. I didn’t listen when she told me she wasn’t hungry. She needed to eat—and she would. I found some soup in her pantry and heated it up while I called Will to tell him what was happening, that I needed him to handle things at Timber Towers. Then I called Brea. She cried as hard as Frankie. She was closing down her desk so she could come take my place. Knowing Frankie wouldn’t be alone made me feel better.

Once the soup was warm, I carried it into the bedroom and placed it on Frankie lap. “Just eat enough so your stomach stops growling.”

She looked at it, her tongue clicking on the roof of her mouth. “I don’t think I can.”

“You have to try.” With a shaky hand, she brought the spoon to her lips and swallowed the broth. “Good. Now another bite.” She slowly took a second spoonful. “I called Brea and she’s on her way over.”