The Throwaway Children (6 page)

That evening, Lily sat in her kitchen and considered what Rita had said. The child was no fool. If she said she’d heard them talking about filling in forms for the welfare, then that’s what they’d been saying. But why on earth would Mavis be talking to the welfare? She didn’t need anything from them. And what had Mavis and Jimmy already decided? Perhaps they’d finally fixed a date to get married. Rita had said that Jimmy was going to the registry office yesterday to find out. They’d certainly need to fill in forms for that. Perhaps that was it. That
must
be it. Rita had got confused about two different parts of the conversation and misunderstood; after all, she’d said that she hadn’t heard it all.

Still, Lily thought, I’ll talk to Mavis tomorrow and find out what’s going on. I suppose it’s for the best if they get married with a little’un on the way, but I don’t like that Jimmy. I don’t like him and I don’t trust him.

Next morning she went round to Ship Street early to catch Mavis before she went to work. Mavis looked flustered when she opened the door and found her mother, yet again, on the step.

‘Mum,’ she groaned. ‘What are you doing here?’ She didn’t say ‘again’ but it was in her voice.

Lily gave her a broad smile and said as she eased herself into the hallway, ‘I just came to see how Jimmy got on with the registry office. You said he was going on Wednesday, and I wondered if he’d got a date. Have you got the kettle on, love? Let’s have a cup of tea and you can tell me all about it.’

Mavis sighed, led her mother into the kitchen and topped up the teapot. When she’d poured tea for each of them, she sat down across the table from Lily and forced a smile. ‘Jimmy went, like he said he would,’ Mavis said. ‘We have to fill in the forms and then I have to show them Don’s death certificate.’

‘So lots of forms, then?’ suggested Lily, relief in her voice. That’s what Rita overheard, she thought.

‘Well, we tell them we want to get married and they put the form up on the noticeboard outside the registry office. Then after three weeks we can get wed. We want to get married next month, before…’ Mavis laid a protective hand on her bump. ‘Jimmy’s taking the forms back and he’ll book us in for a date then.’

‘The girls’ll be excited,’ Lily said. ‘Have you told them yet?’

‘No, not yet,’ answered Mavis, looking away. ‘Not till everything’s sorted, for definite, you know.’

‘You’ve got to get Jimmy to go easy on them, Mavis,’ said her mother. ‘It’ll be hard for them at first, having to share you with him… and the baby. Reet, particularly, is going to find it difficult.’

‘Mum…’ Mavis began and then stopped.

‘What?’ Lily looked at her, and saw the anguish in Mavis’s eyes. She reached a hand across the table and said, more gently, ‘What’s the matter, Mavis? What’s wrong?’

‘It’s the girls,’ Mavis whispered. ‘Jimmy won’t have them here.’

‘Won’t have them here?’ echoed Lily. ‘What d’you mean, won’t have them here? It’s their home. Where else should they be?’

‘He wants them took into care,’ murmured Mavis, not looking up. ‘He don’t want them here, he just wants us to be a family, him, me and the baby.’

‘But the girls, Reet, Rosie, they’re your family.’ Lily stared at her daughter’s bowed head uncomprehendingly. ‘Mavis, they’ve only got you!’

‘He won’t have them.’

‘Then tell him to sod off,’ flashed Lily.

‘I can’t, Mum. He’s the baby’s father. I need him here. I’ve got to choose!’

‘And you choose him?’ Lily was outraged. ‘You choose that violent brute… ’cos he is violent and you know it… you choose him over your own kids? Your own flesh and blood?’

‘I have to,’ wailed Mavis. ‘The baby’s my own flesh and blood too, and I can’t cope on my own, Mum, not any more.’

‘You’re not putting my granddaughters into no home,’ Lily exploded. ‘How can you even think of such a thing?’

‘If you really want to know, I think they’d be happier there,’ Mavis shouted back. ‘Reet would, I know she would. She don’t like Jimmy. She makes no effort to get on with him, and now she’s encouraging Rosie to cheek him as well. Every day it’s getting worse and I can’t stand it no more!’ Mavis burst into a flood of tears. ‘What am I going to do, Mum? I can’t keep them. They’ve got to go and live somewhere else. It’s for their own good.’

Lily watched her as she struggled with her tears, and then said, ‘But a home, Mavis? An orphanage, you mean? They ain’t orphans.’

‘Lots of kids in orphanages ain’t orphans,’ sniffed Mavis. ‘After this bloody war lots of men ain’t come home. Lots of mothers are like me, been left alone with kids and can’t cope with them. It won’t be forever…’

‘Rubbish!’ snapped Lily. ‘If Jimmy won’t have ’em now, when they’re just little kiddies, he won’t take ’em back when he’s got more of his own.’ Lily looked despairingly at her daughter. ‘Oh, Mavis,’ she cried, ‘you ain’t really going to do this, are you? Give your daughters away? What would Don think of you? Him going off to fight, trusting his precious girls to you. Don’t you owe him nothing?’

‘Don’s dead,’ answered Mavis bleakly. ‘He’s gone. He was another part of my life and it’s over. He ain’t coming back, is he? So I’ve got to get on with the rest of my life. I’m another person now.’

‘You certainly are,’ replied Lily tightly, ‘and not one I want to know. I’m ashamed to think you’re my daughter.’ She got to her feet and stared down at Mavis.

‘You won’t tell them yet, will you?’ begged Mavis.

‘I won’t tell them at all,’ retorted Lily, ‘in the hope that you come to your senses and realize exactly what you’re intending to do.’ She went to the door, but as she put her hand on the handle she turned back. ‘Oh Mavis, love, don’t do it! Don’t let him bully you into it. We’ll manage without him, even with the new baby. We’ll manage. You and me and Rita and Rosie will be the baby’s family. We can manage, I promise you.’

‘It’ll be a bastard,’ Mavis said flatly.

‘Well,’ Lily replied, ‘there’s plenty of those around… you’re even planning to marry one!’

‘Get out, Mum!’ Mavis started up from the table, glaring at her mother. ‘Get out. It ain’t nothing to do with you. If you don’t like what I’m doing, get out and don’t bother coming back!’

Lily gave her daughter a long look and then without another word turned and walked out of the house. The brilliance of the day outside made her blink, the heat blasted back from the pavement, but the chill that gripped Lily made her feel as cold as ice.

For the rest of the day and all that night, Lily thought of nothing else. She lay in bed unable to sleep, her mind churning. She could still hardly believe that Mavis was going to put her daughters into an orphanage. Surely she’ll think better of it and change her mind, thought Lily. Mavis loves her kids, how could she bear to be parted from them? How could she even begin to consider sending them away… on the orders of that man?

‘I won’t let her,’ Lily announced suddenly to her bedroom. ‘I won’t let her. If that brute won’t let her keep them in their own home, then they can come here to me. I won’t let them grow up in some dreadful place, thinking no one wants them.’

It was the obvious solution. She’d go and tell Mavis first thing. This decision made Lily fall into an uneasy doze, waking only an hour or so later, unrefreshed but determined.

It was Saturday, the girls would be at home, and so might Jimmy, but that couldn’t be helped. She must speak to Mavis again, tell her the girls should come and live with her, before it was too late.

When Mavis opened the door to find her mother on the step, she immediately tried to push it shut again, but expecting such a reaction, Lily was ready and thrust against it.

‘Go away!’ hissed Mavis. ‘You’re not welcome here.’

‘Mavis!’ Lily’s voice brooked no argument. ‘I have to speak to you.’

‘You spoke to me yesterday,’ snarled Mavis. ‘We ain’t got nothing left to say.’

‘I’ll have them,’ Lily said urgently, still leaning on the door to prevent it from shutting. ‘I’ll have the girls to live with me.’

The pressure on the door eased a little, but still Mavis wouldn’t open it. ‘What d’you mean?’ She spoke softly as if afraid of being overheard.

‘I’ll have the girls to live with me,’ repeated Lily. ‘Mavis, love, listen. Let me in so we can talk about it.’

‘Jimmy’s here.’

‘That’s OK,’ replied Lily. ‘He can be part of the discussion. We all need to agree on what’s to happen… what’s for the best.’

‘You’re not to make him angry,’ warned Mavis. ‘He was mad when he heard what you’d said about him yesterday.’

More fool you for telling him, thought Lily, but aloud she said, ‘No, I won’t make him angry, promise. I’ll simply explain my idea. I’m sure we can work something out that will please everyone.’

Reluctantly, Mavis opened the door and let Lily step inside. She led the way into the kitchen where Rita and Rosie were sitting at the table.

‘Gran!’ cried Rosie in delight, jumping down from her stool for a hug.

Rita stayed where she was, but smiled and said, ‘Can we come to your house today?’ She turned to her mother. ‘Can we?’ she said. ‘Can we go round Gran’s?’

‘Perhaps later,’ said Lily.

‘You girls go and play upstairs,’ said Mavis, ‘and don’t you go waking your Uncle Jimmy.’

‘But I want…’ began Rita, but her mother reached over and took her arm, pulling her roughly from her stool. ‘You’ll do as you’re told, my girl, or you’ll feel the weight of my hand.’

Rita scowled, but she did not reply. She simply took Rosie’s hand and said, ‘Come on, Rosie, let’s go upstairs.’

Mavis flopped into a chair and turned to face Lily. ‘All right,’ she said belligerently, ‘what’s your plan? You can see how difficult Reet’s being.’

‘I thought it might be best if Rita and Rosie came to live with me,’ replied Lily. When Mavis made no response she went on, encouraged, ‘That way you wouldn’t lose them, would you? They’d be just round the corner and you could see them whenever you wanted to. They could go to the same school. They’d still be with their friends. They wouldn’t feel pushed out, they’re happy enough when they’re with me.’ She paused, and as Mavis still said nothing she added, ‘No one would think you’d rejected them, they’d see that you’d simply given yourself a little breathing space… with a new husband and a new baby.’

‘I don’t know,’ Mavis said gruffly. ‘After all you said yesterday.’

‘Yesterday… well, yesterday I was surprised, and upset. You did rather spring it on me, your idea of a home.’ Lily pulled out a chair and sat down opposite Mavis. ‘But it needn’t come to that. If they come to live with me for a bit, they’ll be out of Jimmy’s hair and you’ll be able to concentrate on him and the baby. If they come to me they’ll be going somewhere they know, not to some strange place with strangers to look after them.’ Lily reached out a hand. ‘Mavis, love, I know you love your kids, that you want what’s best for them, and you’re probably right, it is better for them to be out of this house for a little while, but please don’t put them in a home. Let them come and stay with me where you know they’ll be safe.’

Mavis still didn’t answer, but Lily could see that she was giving consideration to the idea, so she allowed the silence to lengthen. It was eventually broken by a cry from upstairs and then a thud, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs. Mavis came to her feet as the door opened and Jimmy Randall came in.

Unshaven and dressed only in pyjama trousers and a string vest, he stopped dead when he saw Lily at the table. ‘And what the ’ell are you doing ’ere?’ he demanded.

‘I’ve come to talk to Mavis about Rita and Rosie,’ replied Lily, trying not to shrink back as he towered over her.

‘Come to meddle, more like,’ he said. ‘Well, we don’t want your meddling, right? So you can push off. Go on, out.’ He pushed back the door and pointed to the street.

‘She’s only come—’ began Mavis.

‘To bloody interfere. We don’t need her, right?’

‘She says the girls can live with her,’ Mavis said. ‘She says she’ll take them and—’

‘Then get up them stairs and pack their bags,’ snapped Jimmy. ‘She can ’ave ’em, but they go today.’

‘Today…’ stammered Mavis, paling visibly.

‘Why not?’ shrugged Jimmy. ‘She wants ’em, we don’t. They can go today.’

‘Jimmy…’ wailed Mavis, but he had turned on his heel and was stumping back up the stairs.

Lily had been going to suggest that today they tell the girls about coming to live with her, let them get used to the idea, and then move their things the following weekend. She’d have had time to prepare their room, and given herself time to get used to the idea too, but Jimmy’s reaction decided her. She wanted those girls out of this house and out of his way at once. She had felt intimidated by him, and she was a grown woman, well used to looking after herself. What must those children feel when he came into the room? She turned to Mavis, who had buried her face in her hands.

‘Come on, Mavis,’ she said briskly. ‘Call the girls down and let’s tell them they’re coming to me. But tell them, mind, that it’s just till you’ve had the baby and got settled again. All right?’

Mavis didn’t answer, simply moaned into her hands. Lily reached over and shook her roughly by the shoulder. ‘Pull yourself together, my girl,’ she said. ‘This house ain’t no place for them.’

Lily went to the bottom of the stairs and called the girls. They came down into the kitchen and looked expectantly at their mother and grandmother. When Mavis still said nothing, Lily said, ‘I’ve got something to tell you both. Poor Mummy is very tired, what with the baby coming soon, and she needs more rest, so I thought it would be a good idea if you two came and stayed with me for a bit.’

Rita stared at her incredulously for a moment, while Rosie clapped her hands and cried, ‘Are we going to stay in your house, Gran? And sleep the night? Can we have bread and dripping for tea?’

‘Come and live with you, you mean?’ asked Rita. ‘All the time?’

‘For now,’ replied Lily. ‘Just to give Mum a rest, until she has the baby.’

Rita nodded as if she were considering the idea. ‘What about school?’

‘You can go to school from my house,’ answered Lily. ‘Mum’ll come and see you, and bring the baby when it’s born.’