The Tattoo (27 page)

“Hey Ken, it’s Kealii’s first birthday on Saturday. You and Claudia have to come. It’s going to be a huge deal, you know, like graduation. Koa’s dad is putting up the tarp and everything.”

“Sounds great. Ask Uncle James if he needs help.”

“I’ll tell him to call you, but we might be all right. Koa and Ikaika are supposed to help.”

“So you and Koa are talking?”

“No, it’s over. I mean, he’s still the father of my children, so I expect to still see him around, but I think he’s realizing that the marriage is done.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

There was silence. Then she asked, “You know what?”

“What?”

“I’m so glad you came back home. Without you and Claude coming back, I don’t think I would’ve ever left Koa. I saw you guys that night and thought, that’s the way it should be. I almost forgot what a good relationship looked like, but after seeing you guys and talking to Claude, I remembered. It’s best for both me and Koa that we get divorced. He has to get his shit together and I have to take care of these kids. Besides, I’m still young, right? I was feeling ugly for a while, but it’s funny, after leaving that house in Waiahole, I started to feel good about myself again.”

I shook my head. I didn’t want to take responsibility for their break-up. “Well, as long as you’re happy, Kahala.”

“I am. I’m totally happy.”

After I hung up, I changed my clothes and walked out to the living room. I saw Claude and my father sipping on their bowls of ox tail soup, talking and laughing. I smiled, walked into the kitchen, and made myself a bowl.

The race war began after dinner. Claudia, taking her empty bowl to the sink, accidentally dropped it. My father looked up from his plate and said, “Damn yobo.”

Instead of picking up the shards of ceramic, Claude walked back to the table and motioned her head toward the glass case which held my father’s two heirloom swords. Above the swords hung my wrinkled Musashi print. “Why do you still have those swords?” she asked.“The Middle Ages ended centuries ago. Oh yeah, wait. I forgot. The Middle Ages in Japan only ended one century ago.”

He looked up at her. “Yeah, Japan came charging out of da Middle Ages. And one of da first tings dey did was beat da shit out of Korea.”

“Yeah, after the white men showed you guys how to use boats and guns. Without the white people’s help, I doubt Japan could’ve even built ships that could’ve reached Korea.”

I looked over at the swords and wished that I could grab the smaller one to kill myself with. My father looked at me and pointed to Claudia with his fork. “Listen to her,” he said. “She acting like Christopher Columbus was Korean or someting. Like da fuckin’ Koreans had good boats.”

He looked back at her.“You know, once da Japanese learned how fo’ build da boats, dey built one of da most powerful navies in da world. What da Koreans did? Dey just kissed our asses and made more kim chee.”

I was tired. The construction business exhausted me because I was a “new guy,” and I did a lot of the grunt work. I sighed and tried to ignore them. Claudia sat down. “Yeah,” she said, “look at what’s left of that great empire now. Japan doesn’t even have an army anymore. Either half of Korea could mow Japan down right now.”

“Shit,” my father said, “Japan could buy one fuckin’ army. Das why dey no need one. Fuckin’ Japan could buy Korea. Shit, I tink I could buy Korea. I get about twenty bucks on me right now.”

Claude’s face was turning mean. Tears were welling in her eyes. “Yeah right,” she said, “my mother’s Korean and she could buy this house of yours in a snap. She could buy this house and the ones on both sides of it.”

My father’s face began its transformation. The devil brows began to arch and the eyes began to turn mean. “If your madda so great, why you no live wit’ her? Why you free-loading over hea? Shit, if your madda taught you about birth control...”

I stopped it. “Dad, stop arready. Both you guys, stop. Nuff arready. Shit, I like eat my dinner in peace.”

Claudia stomped to our room. My father let out a quiet laugh. “Fuckin’ Koreans.”

I got up and followed Claude. I heard my father’s voice as I walked away. “Hey, boy, where you going? I neva teach you fo’ be one whipped boy...”

I walked into the room and closed the door behind me. Claudia was sitting on the bed watching her hands shake. I grabbed them. She looked up. “I gotta get out of here, Ken. I can’t live with that prick. Pretty soon I’m going to end up killing him.”

I sat down beside her. “Listen, this is no fuckin’ picnic for me either. But we gotta stay and save money. I told you, once the baby is born and we have enough money, we’re out of here.”

“We should’ve just gone straight to the mainland. We wouldn’t have to deal with this shit on the mainland.”

She was beginning to worry me. She was talking about the mainland like it was some kind of wonderland. Shit, we were going to run into a whole different set of trouble there. I put my arm around Claude. “Pretty soon, pretty soon.” I put my other hand on Claude’s stomach.

She laughed. “You better love this baby, Ken, because it’s the last one I’m having.”

I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t really want to have another baby either, but I didn’t want to tell her that. Then I remembered the phone call I took while Claude was in the shower earlier that night. “Oh, speaking of babies, it’s Kealii’s first birthday this weekend. I forgot to tell you, Kahala called to see if we could make it.”

Claude sighed. “Sounds good. I could use a party. But is Koa going to go?”

“Probably, I mean, it’s his son’s birthday.”

“What about your father? Is he going?”

“I doubt it. He was never one for parties.”

“Yeah, let’s go. Instead of driving to work with your father tomorrow, I’ll drop you off and go shopping for a present in town.”

“Sounds good.”

Claude turned on her left and sighed. Her back was facing me. I heard my father’s loud footsteps pass our closed bedroom door. Claude coughed. I smiled. “So how do you like the country now?” I asked.

“I see it clearly now and I don’t like what I see.”

The next day we ran into the Friday traffic. It seemed every day the Windward side got bigger, but it was funny because everyone I knew was saying they were making less and less money. Claudia and I made our way up Kahekili Highway where the new traffic lights just seemed to cause more traffic. As we neared Kaneohe, the car went over rough patches of new asphalt, the remnants of road construction. As we neared the Pali Highway, I looked toward the mountains and saw the unfinished tunnels of the H3 Freeway. It was a thirty-year construction project whose costs had set U.S. road records. “Hey, why are you taking the Pali?” I asked. “Likelike is faster.”

“I think Pali might be faster, less cars. I don’t know, it’s an experiment. Besides, I like the Pali better, it’s nicer.”

I looked back up at the H3. “What the fuck,” I said. “Kaneohe to Pearl Harbor? What three people have to take the H3 from Kaneohe to Pearl Harbor every morning?”

Claude smiled. “Well, if it’ll take three cars off the road every morning, I’m all for it. Look at this traffic. It’s madness.”

“Yeah, but I figure it’d be better if we got rid of people instead of building more roads.”

Claude sighed. “Well, I’m all for leaving. I don’t think this side of the island exactly creates an ideal atmosphere for child-rearing. I have nightmares of our baby taking one of those swords out of that ridiculous glass case and killing himself. Actually, I have nightmares of me taking one of those swords out and killing myself.”

“Hey, I grew up with those swords around and look how good I turned out.”

She laughed. “Yeah, you’re a real catch. Hey, how did he convince your mother to marry him anyway? Did he drug her or something?”

“Don’t lie, you love him.”

“Yeah, I love him to death.”

It was a good question. I really didn’t know how my father had gotten my mother. But I figured behind every bad-tempered old man there was once a young care-free rebel. I mean, even Darth Vader got laid once. I looked back at the H3 and wondered if it was really built on ancient burial grounds like the Hawaiian protestors said it was. I thought this as we headed for the Pali Highway, the place where the most famous Hawaiian battle took place. By the time we got to the battleground, the sun was rising and we were one in a huge row of slowly moving cars.

Claudia dropped me off at Hayashi Construction. Before she left, I leaned into the window. “Pick me up at four?”

“I’ll be here.”

I kissed her on the cheek, walked away, and clocked in. My eight-hour day of pushing wheelbarrows filled with cement and carrying long beams of wood was about to begin. I walked through the gate wondering when I’d actually ever get to hammer or weld something. It was weird to think of hammering as some kind of promotion. It disgusted me.

I walked through the gate and was greeted by my father’s smiling face. We had left before him, and he waited outside to gloat. “What took you guys so long?” he asked.

“We took the Pali.”

“You guys mental or what? Dis place stay by da airport and you guys taking da Pali? Likelike is faster.”

I began walking toward the building and my father followed. “I don’t know,” I said, “Claudia likes the Pali better. Besides, she was thinking that maybe the Pali is faster.”

“You fuckin’ kidding me. She know her miles or what? You two must’ve drove at least five miles more den me. I guess das fuckin’ Korean logic, ah.”

We walked through the door. The other guys were waiting by the time clock in the warehouse, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee. “Dad, you gotta lay off the Korean shit. It drives her nuts. And when she gets nuts, she makes me nuts. Please Dad, give her a break.”

He smiled. “You know, son, you right. I should watch what I say in my own house.”

Just as I was about to lose it, my father walked up to the rest of the guys, shook their hands, and began telling them how his son got whipped by a Korean swordtail from town. I felt like that same kid who he used to hit over the head with the wooden backscratcher. I wondered how much I was willing to tolerate.

Claude picked me
up late at about a quarter after. When I got into the car, she said, “Sorry, traffic.”

I nodded. “So what’d you do all day?”

“Well, I picked up Kealii’s present. Take a look.” She handed me a Liberty House department store shopping bag. In it was a folded unused box, packing paper and two baby-sized Polo shirts, one blue, the other burgundy.

I sighed. “Jeez, Kealii will grow out of these things in a month. How much did they cost?”

“About thirty dollars.”

“For both?”

“Each.”

I smiled. Crazy bitch, I thought. I put the two shirts back into the bag. “So what else did you do?”

There was a pause. Then she said, “I visited my mom.”

This surprised me. “I thought she disowned you.”

“Actually I’ve been talking to her for a while now. I think she’s sorry about what happened.”

“You don’t even know what happened.”

“She told me.”

“She told you? What’d she say?”

“She said she threatened you to leave me. That she’d have you arrested if you stayed. She said you yelled at her and things got heated. And that after you guys argued you finally left.”

“That’s all?”

“Yeah, that’s about all she told me.”

I looked at her, trying to determine if she knew more. She must’ve known more, considering she saw my bleeding hand and my burnt forearm that night. I wished Koa was with us. He could usually tell when someone was lying. I was tempted to tell her the true story, but then, I didn’t come out looking too good in that version either. I had killed three people. I had been prepared to kill her mother. So I let the subject drop. We drove home with nothing much to say to each other.

Dinner that night was a fiasco. Claudia had refused to eat at the same table with my father and my father refused to apologize for the night before. Claude waited in the room until my father went to sleep, then went to the fridge and got something to eat. Trying to ignore the whole thing, I spent most of the night watching T.V. in the living room. I was tired. I was beginning to realize that my life was becoming the life Koa had described. I was coming home after work and often regretting it. At least tomorrow was Saturday, I thought. I’d go to the party, get drunk with Koa, come home and pass out.

When I went back to the bedroom, Claude was already sleeping. She’d left a dirty glass and plate by the bed. I sighed and took them to the kitchen to wash them. After I was done, I grabbed a beer from the fridge and watched Jerry Springer. The panel was full of family members fighting and I laughed. In the middle of all the screaming, there was this shrink trying to calm everybody down. No one listened. I fell asleep in front of the T.V. that night with an empty beer bottle in my hand.