The Stranger's Woes (83 page)

“And I was right, as you can plainly see,” said Tekki, bending over a small burner. “I know why you’re here, sweetheart. And it’s not for hugs and kisses. You’re dying to have a mug of my kamra.”

“I am literally dying to have it,” I said, sitting down next to Juffin. “But you’re wrong about hugs and kisses. They go very well with your kamra.”

“I so want to believe that,” said Tekki with a smile, and she raised her eyes to look at me.

Her eyes were so sad that I couldn’t feel the floor under my feet, no matter how much she smiled. For a split second, her face seemed much older to me. It looked so much like the face of the kind lady from Nuremberg that I almost fell off the stool.

“So it was you, Tekki?” I said, quietly. “You caught me chatting with the stone lion on the bridge and then gave me your pocket mirror. Or did I just imagine it?”

Tekki didn’t say anything. She put a jug of kamra before us and turned away. She went to great lengths to show me that she had no idea what I was talking about.

“I knew you’d be bold enough to send your Shadow after him, girl,” said Juffin. “I was almost sure of it.”

“My Shadow?” said Tekki. “What are you talking about? I have no idea what you mean. You must be mixing me up with my infamous daddy again, sir.”

Her black eyes looked at us warily and even flashed a bit with anger.

“Okay, you can keep your secrets,” I said. “I just wanted to thank you . . . or your Shadow.”

“I don’t have any secrets, I’m telling you.” She was smiling again, and her eyes were no longer wary or sad. “How do you think I could have pulled that off, Max?” she said. “I’m not too keen on running after men myself, and to send my Shadow chasing after them—that would be simply ridiculous.”

“Not after ‘them,’ just me,” I protested.

“Well, it might chase after you,” said Tekki, quite unexpectedly. “But my Shadow would never be so frivolous as to drink wine in the company of a stranger. Even one as cute as you. It must have been someone else’s Shadow.”

“A cute one, huh?” I said.

My hearts were beating like crazy. So she knew that I had treated Theia to a glass of wine. Not tea or coffee or beer, but wine. She can say all she wants about just guessing, and I’ll pretend that I believe in coincidences, I thought.

I took a small sip of kamra from my mug and smiled. Forget coffee. Nothing could be better than Tekki’s kamra.

Half an hour later, I couldn’t keep my head up or my eyes open. I could hardly move my tongue in my mouth.

“I wish you knew how much I love you guys,” I mumbled, falling asleep.

I could have come up with something less banal, but as I already mentioned, I wasn’t in the best shape and couldn’t manage anything but the truth.

“Right, now you only have to marry us both,” said Juffin, and he laughed so loudly that the panes in the windows trembled. But even that didn’t wake me up.

In my sleep I heard Juffin talking to Tekki. He said something about taking me with him solely because it was absolutely necessary.

“Solely because he is absolutely insidious,” I mumbled to their utter delight. Then I fell asleep for good. I slept so soundly that poor Juffin, I’m sure, had to drag me to the amobiler by the scruff of the neck. Then again, he could have dragged me by the feet. I wouldn’t put it past him.

I woke up because someone was licking my nose. I couldn’t remember Tekki ever doing that to me before. Where have I ended up this time? I thought, opening my eyes.

Chuff, Juffin’s fluffy canine with the endearing face of a bulldog, was sitting on my chest. I laughed and kissed him on his small, moist nose.

“Well, I’ll be. Not only did you occupy my bed, you also stole the heart of my trusty old dog.”

Sir Juffin stood in the doorway shaking his head.

“Sinning Magicians,” he said. “I was obviously better off without you. What’s true is true.”

“Let this be a lesson for you. Next time you’ll think twice before taking me away from my beloved, especially after a long separation.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” said Juffin. “Then I’ll write a book. A popular guide to handling Sir Max. It’ll be a big hit among university professors and petty criminals.”

“So, what do you think about my adventure? Did you get to the bottom of it?” I said, trying to remain serious. I didn’t succeed. I still couldn’t believe that what was happening was real. It was simply too good to be true.

“Quite an adventure it was, let me tell you,” said Juffin. “In all honesty, you should quit the Minor Secret Investigative Force and found your own Order. It’s too bad the Epoch of Orders has been laid to rest once and for all.”

“So, we’ll just leave everything the way it is, then?” I said. “Do I have thirty minutes to wash up and get ready?”

“Ten minutes,” said Juffin. “It’s almost noon, and I’m still babysitting you. Knowing you, you won’t leave the house without a mug of kamra, so I don’t know when we’re going to get to Headquarters. And everybody’s waiting for you there. Sir Melifaro is itching to give you a shiner, I’m sure. Your disappearance shook him to the core. He was gloomy and sad for almost a dozen days. It pained me to look at him. I’m willing to bet that you’re going to have to pay dearly for it now.”

“I guess I am. I’m going to have to hide behind the back of Sir Lonli-Lokli. I once saved Shurf’s life, so it’s time for him to return the favor.”

I set a meaningless personal record and managed to dip myself into all eleven pools in Juffin’s house in just under ten minutes. I put on a black skaba while my body was still wet and took a close look at my reflection in the mirror.

I didn’t see anything extraordinary there. I did, however, look somewhat older. I could make out a few shallow but visible wrinkles at the corners of my mouth, and there was another much deeper vertical crease between my eyebrows. But it was still my face. Well, almost. I looked closer. Yes, there was something indeterminate, something unfinished in my face now. Something that didn’t quite let me focus.

“Do you like what you see, handsome?” Juffin asked from behind my back.

I looked around, embarrassed. “It’s not bad. But don’t you think there’s something wrong with it?”

“Let’s eat breakfast,” said Juffin. “Do you remember what your friend Mackie looks like?”

“As if it’s possible for anyone to remember his face. You know that yourself,” I said, heading upstairs into the dining room. “Wait, are you saying that it’s the same with my face now?”

“That is exactly what I’m saying. I can only assume that when he was young and foolish, Mackie got himself into similar trouble. Funny.”

“You’re flattering me.”

“Me? Whatever gave you that idea? Teasing you, perhaps. But let’s get on with the matter at hand, shall we?”

“With great pleasure,” I said. I took a few big gulps of kamra and shoved a pastry into my mouth. “So, how long was I there, Juffin? I’m very curious.”

“You always have a very keen interest in things that don’t matter,” Juffin said. “You were knocking about in that World for almost nine years. But I don’t think time made a mark on you. Take your hair, for example. It didn’t grow much longer, and I’m willing to bet you never made it to a barber. Am I right?”

“I don’t think I ever passed a barbershop the whole time I was there. But gosh, nine years!” I shook my head. “My inner clock swears it was no more than a year.”

“Then you’ve got a lousy inner clock, my boy,” said Juffin. “Well, everyone has his faults. I sure am glad that time flows at different paces in different Worlds. Nine years would have been a little too much.”

“I guess you’re right,” I said. “But at some point I got pretty scared when I thought a few hundred years had passed since I’d left Echo. I almost went crazy with grief. What else did you find out about me?”

“Everything. Including something you’d forgotten yourself. If you don’t mind, I’ll reveal this for you in small portions, and I won’t start today. What you really need to do now is try not to think about all of this. There are plenty of interesting and exciting things in the World, and you’ll need a great deal of time to reconcile yourself to your own might.”

“My
might
?” I said.

“That’s right. I think I know what you are capable of now, but you don’t have to know it just yet. No need to rush. Unless you’re planning to found a new Order, of course.”

“I’m not,” I said. “I don’t have time for that. Plus, you know that I’m not an ambitious guy.”

“That I do know. And I hope you’re going to stay that way.”

“Juffin,” I said plaintively, “just tell me that I’m all right, and I’ll stop bothering you. I won’t ask you any more questions.”

“You are all right, indeed, Max. More than all right. In any event, the World you were born in will never try to reclaim you again. So it’s unlikely that you’re going to go through something like that adventure any time soon. Maybe another adventure—but no man can ever know anything beforehand, and you and I are still people, Max. Now, try to busy that disheveled head of yours with other kinds of problems.”

“As you say,” I said. Then I remembered about my surprise for Juffin and almost yelped from excitement and anticipation.

“What’s with this cunning glint in your eyes?” Juffin said. “Oh, yes. You said something about miracles and wonders yesterday. They have something to do with that ugly stick of furniture that you brought with you from your homeland, right?”

“Exactly,” I said, smiling dreamily. “I think I’m going to torture you until tonight, though. This will be my little revenge. You have your secrets, and I have mine.”

“I think you’re going to give up first,” Juffin said. “I can hold mine in, but I’ll bet your secret will defy you before sunset.”

“Maybe it will, maybe it won’t,” I said.

“Time will tell. In any case, I don’t think I’ll have a minute to spare before sunset. While I was busy rummaging through your precious brain, I lost a great deal of time. Let’s go, Max. Today, I’ll let you drive my amobiler. I’ve already warned Kimpa.”

“I can’t believe it. The old man agreed to entrust me with the cargo of your precious self?”

“Quite right. I told him this would be in the interests of the Unified Kingdom, and Kimpa, as it turns out, has a keen sense of civic duty.”

Once I was behind the levers of the amobiler, all metaphysical problems vanished from my poor head. I was enjoying life—and fast driving—to the fullest. Juffin was happy too, I think. The sharp outlines of his face gave way to a peaceful smile every now and then.