The Stranger's Woes (49 page)

I put the empty glass on the table. My head was going around in circles. Tekki’s face seemed huge. It was obscuring the rest of the world. My heart stopped in my chest to savor the moment and suddenly exploded in pain.

Darkness surrounded me. I knew that this was death. The death I had always been afraid of. Except now I wasn’t afraid of it—it just hurt like hell. The torture I was feeling was hard to describe. I felt as though I was being torn into millions of little pieces. My sinews were being shredded, my bones crushed with a stone crusher, and my heart ground up in a meat grinder.

At the very last moment I grew furious. I knew I didn’t want to die. I was simply not going to give in to that ugly old man with his phony scythe! No way. I had great plans for tonight, and for tomorrow, and, to be completely honest, I had some darn good plans for the not-so-near future, as well.

I forced myself to speak. There was a part of me that realized Tekki was standing next to me—scared and bewildered. She’s panicking, so she can’t think what to do, and then it’ll be too late, I thought.

“Call for Juffin,” I said. “Call for Juffin Hully. Tell him I died. He’ll . . .”

Darkness and pain enveloped me again, and I stopped resisting. To this day I can’t remember what happened to me next. Maybe it’s for the best.

Then I came to and almost lost consciousness again, this time from surprise. One doesn’t die and come back to life every day, you know. And if, upon reviving, you find your body lying in bed with a woman . . .

“You’re alive!” Tekki whispered, and burst out crying.

“Is that a bad thing?” I said. “What, you’re not too keen on living men? I can die again, if you want me to, but please don’t cry. Wait, when did I seduce you? I know I talk in my sleep sometimes, but I had no idea that even death couldn’t make me shut up . . . I
was
dead, wasn’t I?”

She laughed through her tears. “You bet you were. Sir Juffin went out to look for your second heart, because . . . Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now.”

It didn’t matter, for sure, because Tekki put her wonderful face next to mine again.

“I guess now you’re not going to die anymore,” she whispered a few minutes later.

Praise be the Magicians, she didn’t leave. Instead, she curled up beside me and buried her nose in my shoulder.

Finally, I could look around. And I was completely horrified to see Juffin sitting in an armchair by the window. The orange light of the street lamps was falling on his calm face. It looked like the boss was looking at us very intently. I quickly pulled the blanket up to my chin. For a few moments I didn’t know what to say, but soon I found all the words I needed, and then some.

“Look, we’re good friends and all, and I don’t keep any secrets from you, but this time you’re going overboard. Why are you staring at us, can you tell me? Is what I’m doing so very amusing or funny?”

Juffin didn’t say anything, nor did he move. I was completely beside myself.

“He’s sleeping, Max,” said Tekki. Tears were still falling from her eyes, but she was giggling. “He’s sleeping with his eyes open. It happens. I told you he’s out looking for your second heart.”

“Right, the one I keep on the third shelf from the bottom in my bookcase,” I said. “Well, well, I see everyone’s having a great time around here.”

Tekki’s shoulders began to shake again, this time from laughter. I smiled. I had no strength to do anything else.

“But can you please tell me what happened?” I said. “Magicians only know when Juffin’s going to wake up, and I still have no idea what’s going on.”

Tekki stopped laughing. Now she had to make considerable efforts to restrain herself from crying. “What happened? Oh boy, what a question! You turned all chalky white, told me to call for Sir Juffin, and died. But I didn’t have time to send him a call, because he was already in the tavern. I have no idea how he got in. Then he grabbed you and me, and pulled us both up here to the bedroom. Max, I don’t quite remember what happened exactly. I went crazy when I realized what was happening to you. And then your Juffin . . . I don’t know how I was able to survive his stare.” Tekki gave a sad sniff, and I stroked her hair.

“But you’re all right now?”

“I guess,” she said, and smiled again.

“Go on. What happened next?”

“Juffin said he was going to look for your Shadow so he could take its heart and give it to you, and he told me to finish what I’d started. He said there was a chance that might work, too, however small. And then he sat in that armchair and was completely still. I know that one can only find the Shadow in one’s dreams, so I knew he was sleeping, and so—”

“Hold on a second,” I said. “What did he mean, ‘to finish what you’d started’? Started what, Tekki?”

“He’ll explain it all to you,” she said in a sad voice, and looked down.

I didn’t like that one bit. “Look,” I said, gently stroking her shoulder. “Let’s get this clear: whatever you did, it doesn’t matter. Because the grand finale was so wonderful that we’re even, as it were. So spit it out, baby. And make it quick. Because I have a feeling I’m going to have to save you from Juffin’s ire.”

Tekki curled up and turned away. “I . . . I poisoned you,” she said finally in a loud whisper.

“Poisoned me! But why? Am I that horrible? Or was it a vendetta? Did I kill one of your relatives? Are you, by any chance, the granddaughter of the late Hunchback Itullo?”

“Of course I’m not!” said Tekki, laughing her beautiful tinkling laughter. “You got it all wrong, Max. I didn’t mean to poison you. I didn’t know it would have this effect on you.”

“‘It’?” I was beginning to lose my patience. “Tell me what ‘it’ was or I’ll die of curiosity, this time for good.”

Tekki gave me a sullen look. “I slipped you a love potion,” she said. “Goodness, I don’t know what I was thinking!”

“You slipped me a love potion?” I laughed in relief. “But why? I was breaking my head all night trying to think of how to go to bed with you. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice. All my colleagues laugh at me, saying my feelings are always written in huge letters across my forehead.”

“Really?” said Tekki. She seemed surprised. “Well, you did look like you were charmed, but I thought you were just being gallant. I had no idea you were flirting with me. I mean, I know I’m not much to look at, and all.”

“Oh, but you are,” I said. “I can’t get my eyes full. You’re just what my life has been missing. Do you understand?”

She nodded. Now she finally seemed to relax, and she reached over to take her skaba.

“Don’t,” I said. “Why?”

“What do you mean? Your boss is going to wake up sooner or later.”

“Oh. I completely forgot about him.” I laughed again, which was a mistake. I overestimated my capabilities. I was completely drained of strength. The orange twilight of the room started wheeling in front of my eyes.

“Are you all right?” said Tekki.

She had already stood up, and her worried eyes were following me from someplace far away. I wanted to say I was fine, but I couldn’t utter a single sound. All I could do was smile because I felt so good. Darkness thickened around me, and I felt a pleasant, languorous warmth in my chest. I closed my eyes and let go, realizing it was useless and completely unnecessary to resist this persistent, tender force.

Then it was as if someone had flipped an invisible switch inside me. My strength returned to me abruptly. I opened my eyes, propped myself up on one elbow, and looked around. The world around me had changed, except that I had no idea what was different.

Tekki sat beside me, clutching my hand. It looked like she was preparing to mourn my sudden passing again. It was touching, but I hurried to reassure her: “Everything is fine now, dear. You can’t imagine how fine I feel.”

“I’ll bet you do,” said Juffin. “You just scared the bejesus out of a poor helpless woman and a half-witted old magician—and got a second heart at a significant discount. Sure, you’re fine now.”

“Juffin!” I said. “Will
you
tell me what happened to me?”

“Death happened to you. Other than that, nothing extraordinary.”

“I figured that much. But why? And what’s the story of that ‘second heart’ you took away from my Shadow? And how on earth can it get along without it, I should very much like to know?”

“Oh, don’t worry about your Shadow. It can get along fine without much of anything,” said Juffin. “As for the rest of the story, has the girl confessed already?”

“She has.”

I smiled the widest smile possible and turned to Tekki. She was nervous again. Even Juffin’s good-humored chatter seemed to throw her off balance. I squeezed her hand tenderly, hoping it would help.

“I see. So that’s what this is all about,” said Juffin. “You heartthrob lover boy, you. Well, long story short, the experiment has proven that our harmless love potion works as a lethal poison on you. It killed you almost instantly. I presume it wasn’t pretty?”

“No, it was no walk in the park,” I said. “I’m glad I’ve never been a chick magnet. I’ll bet Melifaro gets a couple of glasses of that stuff in every tavern.”

“It’s not all that bad,” said Juffin. “With your profession you won’t be suffering from too much attention from women. Only the daughter of Loiso Pondoxo could have a crush on a guy wearing the Mantle of Death.”

“The daughter of Loiso Pondoxo! The Grand Magician of the Order of the Watery Crow? The one you keep talking about all the time? Oh boy.” I looked at Tekki in embarrassment. “I think today was one of the most exciting and interesting days in my life.”

Then I got worried because I remembered something.

“Hold on,” I said. “Aren’t you guys some kind of mortal enemies or something? Juffin, didn’t you bury her dad who-knows-where?”

“Whatever happened to my infamous dad, whom I only saw a couple of times in my life, doesn’t matter,” said Tekki. “By the way, during the Troubled Times, Sir Hully saved my life. He didn’t come hunting for me when that overcautious old Nuflin declared open season on all the children of Loiso Pondoxo.”

“I just didn’t deem it prudent,” said Juffin, “because it seemed that death only worked to the advantage of your family members. Plus, I had better things to do than hunt down innocent little girls. It wasn’t my fault that nobody but me was up to the task. A dozen days later, His Majesty Gurig VII came to his senses and issued a decree granting personal immunity to all family members of those who had waged war on the Code. Nuflin was mad, naturally, but by that time he’d realized that it wasn’t wise to run up against the king. So, I guess we have no grudges against each other, do we, Lady Shekk?”

Tekki shook her head no.

“Happy?” Juffin asked me. “Or do you want us to kiss and make up?”

“Don’t even dream of it,” I said. “Sinning Magicians, you two go back a long, long, dark way, huh?”

“Why, yes, we do,” said Juffin. “Say, what are we going to do with the gal? Should we lock her up in Xolomi? On the one hand, she just murdered a government official of the highest rank. But, on the other hand, she put everything right. I didn’t really have to bother with your Shadow. I could have just locked you two up in the bedroom and been done with it. She did a very good job and revived you without my help.”

“How did she do it?”

“As if you don’t know. I once heard that someone poisoned by a love potion must immediately seek the poisoner’s embrace to survive. Granted, that pertained to the love potions of the olden days. Back then, they weren’t as harmless as these modern-day concoctions. Still, I decided it wouldn’t hurt to try even that, just in case. I didn’t really expect it to work, but it did! By the time your heart was beating again, I already had your second heart in my hands. Since it’s impossible to return to the Shadow what it has already parted with—unlike humans, the Shadow never changes its mind—I gave it to you.”