The Stranger's Woes (38 page)

The Minor Reception Hall was in reality so huge that I couldn’t make out the faces of the courtiers standing by the wall opposite me. Beautiful Aloxto Allirox was standing immobile in the middle of the hall. This time he showed up without his spider-like pet. He probably had no idea that the king was such an avid lover of animal life.

By his feet lay his weapons, and behind him stood his entourage—about a hundred mighty warriors, clad in the same inflexible capes and soft boots, all light-haired, yellow-eyed, and handsome like Aloxto Allirox. The courtiers looked at them with well-meaning curiosity.

With a barely noticeable movement of the hand Sir Juffin Hully motioned me to come closer to him. We stood to the left of the Royal Throne, which was the rule. The area to the right of the throne was crowded with numerous noblemen. Next to them stood a single middle-aged gentleman. He was wearing a blue-and-white looxi, which meant that he belonged to the Order of the Seven-Leaf Clover, the Single and Most Beneficent. He bowed ever so slightly to Juffin and me. A more formal greeting was not allowed by the rules of etiquette.

Finally, the king entered the hall. Slowly he ascended the gem-encrusted stairs to his throne, the back of which seemed to tower over him. He bestowed a sympathetic smile on Juffin and me, then solemnly sat down on the throne. His expression was now one of unassailable, icy grandeur and boredom.

“I greet you, stranger.” When the king spoke to Aloxto, his lips barely moved. “Tell us who you are and what matters have brought you to us.”

Aloxto lowered his head in a respectful bow and began with the same old song that I had heard on the ship: “I am Aloxto Allirox of the clan of Ironsided Hoob, ruler of Aliur and Chixo, Sternlooking Master of two times fifty Sharptooths, powerful and loyal warrior of Toila Liomurik the Silver Bigwig, the Conqueror of Arvarox, who rules it all the way to the ends of the World, the Waterer of the Royal Tree of Spicy Flowers, the Keeper of Table Rugs, the Bearer of the Third Cup at the New Moon Feast after the Spouse and the Senior Cupbearer, the Eternal Helmsman of the Royal Boat on Lake Ulfati who has the right to wear bone boots on Zoggi needles, the Locker of the Royal Chamber and Master of Fifty Keys, the Chief of the Reprisal of Isisorins, the Speaker of the Ninth and Twelfth Words during the Royal Game of Launi, the Slayer of the Kulyox Bird with just two glances, one hit, and a bit of wit, the Bringer of Three Handfuls of Coins to the Tomb of Kwarga Ishmirmani, the Maker of Fire under the Royal Vatla Caldron, the Speaker of the Tongue of Morions, the Eater of the Mayushi Pork in two and a half gobbles, and he who made two times fifty songs about his own great feats.”

Will you listen to him? Such an important guest
. Juffin couldn’t restrain himself any longer and sent me a call.
You and I will never live to see the day when we get half that many titles
,
my boy
.

Yeah
,
especially since yesterday there were half as many of them
, I replied.
He must have stayed up all night coming up with new ones
.

I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint you
,
Max
.
No citizen of Arvarox is capable of “coming up” with anything of the sort
.
Yesterday
,
he simply thought that you and Melifaro were too low in rank to hear all the titles of such an important personage
.
Naturally
,
our king deserves the honor of hearing him deign to reveal a little more about himself
.
I think when this guy gets to the gala thrown by his mighty Dead God
,
or whatever they call their maker
,
he’ll be talking about himself for twelve years in a row
,
nonstop
.
That would be the first chance in his life to say absolutely everything there is to say
.

Juffin’s silent broadcast was interrupted in a most unusual way. Kurush, who had been dozing under Juffin’s looxi, finally woke up and wanted to get out.

“I want to look at those people,” said the bird.

“Of course, my friend, of course, but please be quiet,” whispered Juffin to the buriwok, and put him on his shoulder.

Then something incredible happened.

Aloxto Allirox, the “Master of two times fifty Sharptooths,” whose back never bent low in a bow, fell silently to his knees. His forehead met the thick carpet with a soft thud. His entourage followed suit.

“O mighty buriwok!” moaned Aloxto, his voiced tight with constrained excitement. “O mighty buriwok!”

I thought our esteemed guest had lost some, if not all, of his marbles.

A wave of confusion swept through the Minor Reception Hall. Even Gurig’s majestic expression had to give way to ordinary human surprise.

“Citizens of Arvarox tend to exaggerate our mightiness somewhat,” said Kurush in a calm, quiet voice. “Although all humans are inclined to exaggerate.”

“You’re right, my friend,” said Juffin, smiling. “But let’s not try to persuade this nice man otherwise. Perhaps he should keep his delusions. They may come in quite handy. Don’t you think, Your Majesty?”

“I completely agree with you,” whispered the king. “It’s such a pity that we didn’t know this before.”

Meanwhile, Aloxto had more or less come to his senses. He looked at Kurush with great reverence and admiration. “I am honored beyond words! How can I repay you for this honor, O mighty buriwok?”

“I am here because such is the will of His Majesty King Gurig VIII and the Venerable Sir Juffin Hully, by whom I am employed. If you wish to express your gratitude, you should express it to them, for it is they who have honored you. Now, get up from your knees, my children.”

Juffin and I exchanged a couple of dumbfounded glances. Kurush had spoken so regally that if I had been the king, I’d have given up my throne to him right there and then.

“Never in my life have I dreamed of such an honor,” murmured Aloxto nervously, his lips turning pale. “Toila Liomurik the Silver Bigwig, Conqueror of Arvarox, will never forget the honor that has been bestowed upon his messengers. He will order that no less than a thousand songs be written to commemorate this event, and I will write the first one myself.”

The king, praise be the Magicians, had already gotten the hang of the situation. He smiled indulgently and said, “We have decided to bestow the honor upon you because of our friendly feelings toward Toila Liomurik, which have remained unchanged. In addition, we are still ready to assist you in your difficult ordeal. I should be very,
very
happy if you would be kind enough to accept our help.”

The last sentence sounded more like a command, however politely phrased.

“I will do as you wish,” said Aloxto.

“Your words please me,” said the king, smiling ever so slightly. “Sir Juffin Hully, who is present with us now, will be waiting for you tomorrow in the House by the Bridge. I am certain that he and his colleagues can turn the World upside down to restore justice, the longing for which made you cross all the oceans of the World, chasing the brazen fugitive. Fare you well, gentlemen. I have been delighted with your company.”

I knew that Gurig was being absolutely honest. We were all delighted, especially Kurush.

We went back to Headquarters. On the way there, Kurush behaved like a newly crowned emperor.

Juffin locked the door of his office, and we both gave the puffed-up bird a long inquisitive stare. The buriwok was cleaning his feathers nonchalantly.

“Don’t you think you ought to explain yourself, my dear fellow?” said Juffin. “What happened between you and the beauty boy back there?”

“Nothing much. The people of Arvarox worship us buriwoks like gods. Their idolatry is not completely unfounded. Where we are abundant, the World is the way we want it to be. Arvarox is the only place where buriwoks are abundant. We like beautiful people, so the people of Arvarox are beautiful. The color of their eyes matches that of ours, for we love this color. They are taciturn, for we are not interested in their conversations. They are active, for we derive pleasure from discussing their deeds. We live in isolation, but our elders go to die among the people of Arvarox, simply to enjoy the sight of them. After all, they are the result of our common efforts. People of Arvarox love to die, for they believe that they will be reborn as buriwok nestlings. This
is
just a superstition, but sometimes we think they are capable of it—though not everyone, of course. In other words, to the people of Arvarox we are, indeed, like gods.” Kurush blinked and helped himself to a few peanuts.

“Yes, I know all that,” said Juffin, nodding. “But are you saying that the people of Arvarox also know about your powers? I would never have believed it.”

“They don’t know it—they feel it. People of Arvarox don’t know much, but their feelings rarely deceive them,” said the buriwok.

“Hmm, this is news to me. Well, in any case, this
is
good news. Now we can wrap them around our little fingers.”

“No, you can’t,” said Kurush. “They will, of course, do whatever I tell them to do, but if I tell them to do something that is contrary to their rules and laws, they will die. It is easier for them to die than to do wrong. People of Arvarox see death as the best solution to any difficult situation.”

“Like samurais,” I said.

“Like what?” said Juffin.

“Samurais. Believe it or not, in my World there were guys like this, too. But I see now that their lives were much more miserable—they didn’t have buriwoks.”

“That’s unfortunate,” said Juffin. “Life without buriwoks would be a crying shame. Am I right, my dear fellow?” Juffin scratched the fluffy back of the wise bird. “Can you imagine what would happen to that guy if we took him on an excursion to the Main Archive?”

“Will we?” I said, brightening up.

“Maybe we will. If he behaves. Or if he doesn’t behave. Then we’ll have to take some measures—although I have a strong feeling that the brave heart of Aloxto Allirox might not be strong enough to withstand the shock. So I think we should avoid such drastic experiments.” Juffin got up and smiled a wicked smile. “I’m off to get some rest. You stay here and keep working. How cruel I am! Does that shock you, Max?”

“No, it doesn’t. We’ve known each other for a while, and I’m used to anticipating the worst from you. I just hope the Elixir of Kaxar is still in the same drawer.”

“Where else would it be? You’re the only one drinking it.”

“Then I’m going to drink half a bottle and start carousing, because I’m bored,” I said with a dreamy smile on my face. “If I get the picture, I won’t have much work to do tonight. The fun doesn’t start until tomorrow, right?”

“That’s right. By the way, I wouldn’t mind if you took a leisurely little walk. Pretty soon, none of us will have any time for that, so grab your chance while you can, boy.”

“I can try,” I said.

And Juffin left.

After thirty minutes of complete boredom I sent a call to Melifaro:
How’s the human souvenir from overseas been doing?

Wonderful
.
He took a walk around the city during the day
.
Unfortunately
,
he didn’t get lost
.
He did get another shiner
,
though
.
This time on his right eye
.
Looks great
.
By the way
,
don’t you want to have him now? Maybe you’re bored or something
.
You see
,
I’m beginning to get tired of him
.