The Stein & Candle Detective Agency, Vol. 2: Cold Wars (The Stein & Candle Detective Agency #2) (3 page)

“You know this fellow?” I asked Selena, as we walked to the crowd. “Seems right up your alley.”

“I’ve heard of him actually. He’s supposed to practice some of the darker sorceries, as well as healing arts. I’ve spoken to other Kahunas, and I was kind of, well, working up my courage to talk to him.”

“Swell,” I muttered, as we approached the crowd. We squeezed our way in and got a look at Big Joe Lono. He was dancing around a smoldering camp fire, waving his hands to cast strange designs in the smoke. Big Joe was naked to the waist, wearing only a pair of shorts. His skin was marked with ash and chalk, drawing skeleton bones on his muscled thighs. He was a big guy, tan and bald. He suddenly held up one hand, something white flashing on the wrist. I saw slimy fish eyes gleaming in his palm.

Selena explained the ceremony at a whisper. “He’s impersonating Kaho’ali’i, the God of the Underworld. It’s an annual ritual.” We watched as Big Joe brought the fish eyes to his mouth, opened his mouth, and gobbled them down like they were grapes.

I guessed that finished the ritual. The audience drifted away, breaking into groups and chatting like society women at church. Several of them approached Big Joe Lono, asking him to remove curses or say prayers for relatives. We got in line and waited. Somehow, I figured making a lot of noise wouldn’t work with this guy. Soon enough, we were in front of Big Joe. He seemed surprised.

“Haole,” he said, resting his hand on his waist. The white band was a pearl necklace. It stuck in my mind for some reason. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I’m Mort Candle. This is my associate, Weatherby Stein, and his sister, Selena. We’re looking for information about the murder of Horace Pepperdine,” I said. “You got anything you’d like to add?”

He waved his hand. “He built on land that was taboo. He got what was coming to him.”

“Kapu, you mean?” Selena asked.

Big Joe smiled. “You know some of our customs, little lady?”

“I’m an anthropology student, Mr. Lono,” Selena explained. “Now, Mr. Pepperdine was murdered by an Aumkua, of the mano variety. I’m sure you have a variety of Aumkua tiki idols, and perhaps quite a few of them are vengeful and cursed.”

He shrugged his massive shoulders. “Maybe one or two got stolen, or taken home to good families. I don’t keep track of the Aumkua, little haole.” The pearl necklace rattled when he moved his arm. “I’m sorry, detectives, but that’s about all I can tell you. I gotta get back to my people.” He turned away, without saying another word.

Selena, Weatherby and I exchanged a glance. “Do you believe he’s speaking truthfully?” Weatherby wondered.

“No idea. There’s something about him that’s raising my instincts. They got me through France in one piece, so I’m trusting them now.” I nodded to the woodie. “Let’s go back to the Grand Tiki and keep the grieving widow advised of our progress. It’s getting dark anyway. I don’t want to be out here at night.”

We headed back to Selena’s automobile and got inside. She started it up and put us back on the winding country road, then started heading back to Honolulu. Selena drove us around the long, lazy curves of the road. Above us, the sun was slowly sinking, bathing the sky in fantastic bands of pastel color. Weatherby and Selena stared at the sunset in amazement.

“It’s swell around here,” Selena said. “But I still think the land around Castle Stein was some of most beautiful I have ever seen. Do you remember when we got up early to see the sun rising over the Black Forest?”

“I remember sitting on father’s lap, just watching the sky going bright. It was absolutely amazing,” Weatherby agreed. “You were right next to me, staying close to keep away the morning chill.” He fell silent.

“Do you… do you miss them?” Selena asked.

“Every day,” Weatherby replied softly.

I stared out the window, watching the trees, occasional cabin and farm speed past. I noticed a swarm of green leaves and fallen flowers following us, kicked up by the wind of the passing car. But they weren’t settling down, just flying along through the air, right after our auto, like they were trying to catch up. I glared at the bright flowers and leaves as they dipped and dived in the air. There were more of them than usual, a blizzard of greenery swarming in from all sides.

“Oh no,” Selena whispered, turning on the windshield wipers and hitting the gas. “Kapua! Of the Ko-Poe-Kino-Lau variety!”

“What?” I asked, as a humanoid shape formed in the swirl of swarming leaves and jumped for the front of the car. It crashed down on the hood, hands made of thorns scratching deep grooves in the windshield. Its eyes were bright red flowers, flashing angrily at Selena as she struggled to keep the car on the road. I kicked open the door, going for my automatics as I put a foot on the runners.

“Kapua are trickster demons, nasty minor deities!” Selena explained. “The Ko-Poe-Kino-Lau are spirits with leaf bodies!” The leaf demon smashed down on the windshield again, denting the glass. Arcane strength was in those spindly limbs.

I leveled my .45 at the leaf man and opened fire. My first shot cracked through his head, sending the flowers and leaves scattering away to cover the windshield. The wipers removed them, and Selena had to poke her head out of the window to see where she was going in the meantime. The auto bucked crazily as it neared the edge of the road, and Selena spun the wheel like a mad woman. I saw Weatherby draw out his own revolver.

“I can’t see!” Selena cried. “Oh god, but I have to speed up to get away from these devils!”

“Keep going and keep on the road!” I shouted. “I’ll keep them off of you!”

“I don’t know if I can—” Selena swerved the wheel again. She slammed the front bumper into a roadside sign and sent the flimsy wooden board flying into the grass. More of the Kapua were floating around now, held aloft by magical winds, and swooping down to attack. I started firing, hearing the automatic bark in my hands. Selena was still panicking. Weatherby was holding her shoulder, keeping her calm. “I just don’t know!” the girl cried. Car chases and leaf demons – this wasn’t her world.

“You’ve just got be strong,” I said. “As strong as your baby brother.”

The Kapua started to mass in front of us, preparing for a major attack. My automatic was empty, so I tossed it back in the car and pulled my second gun from the holster. “Gun it!” I shouted to Selena, and she slammed on the gas. I put the bullets where I wanted them, firing fast and planting shots between the flowery eyes of the Kapua. They burst like overstuffed piñatas, spreading leaves and greenery across the road. There were still dozens of them, flying in front of us and blocking the way.

Selena slammed the car through them, flattening the Kapua out on the hood. She kept the automobile going straight, rolling over the long road with the city in the distance. I fired the last shots of the clip and picked off the Kapua. A harsh turn came up, and Selena spun the wheel and kept us from wrapping around a tree. Weatherby fired his own revolver – completely missing everything he shot at.

By then I was out of bullets and it was all up to Selena. The Kapua floated behind us, trying their best to keep up. But Selena kept the gas pedal down and her car zoomed along. The Kapua gained ground, flying easily over the road, but now we had a lead and we kept it.

I slammed new clips into my automatics and leaned out of the window, opening a blistering barrage on our Kapua pursuers. They went down, one after the other, and Selena kept us going fast and evenly over the winding roads. Soon enough, we had left them behind completely.

I got back into the car, reloaded my pistols and slumped back. “Aces,” I said. “Good driving, sister.”

“What about Big Joe Lono?” Weatherby asked. “Undoubtedly, he sent those demons to destroy us, making it look like an automobile accident! Perhaps we should confront him…”

“Nix on that, kiddo. Let him think he won – if he’s the one behind it.” I leaned back as we entered Honolulu once again. “Back to the Grand Tiki. I need a drink.”

We reached the Grand Tiki right around nightfall. The few guests were all in their rooms, a couple strolling along the pure white beach, but the hotel was mostly empty. Once again, we took that golden elevator up to the penthouse, and met with Carla Pepperdine in her late husband’s office. The police had gotten around to removing the body – but not the bloodstains.

Mrs. Pepperdine listened carefully as I made my report. “Yeah, I think I remember Horace talking about how he had the cabbage to pay back Fancy Freddy. I don’t think he mentioned where he was keeping the money. I already checked the drawers of the desk, and ain’t found bupkis.”

“And you’re not worried about Fancy Freddy coming here to get his money?” Selena wondered.

“Bring that pansy on,” Carla replied. She stood up from her chair. “You fellows have done a good job. You can get back to pounding suspects tomorrow. In the meantime, any suite on the top floor is all yours.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Pepperdine,” I said. We stood up to go, leaving the office and walking down the hall.

Tanya’s desk was at the end of the hall. She stood in front of it, her purse over her arm. She walked forward slowly, her eyes settling on Weatherby. “Solved the mystery yet, little guy?” she asked. “Or maybe I should say little man?”

“We’re doing a d-decent job, ma’am,” Weatherby replied, licking his dry lips.

Selena gave Tanya an angry glare and the secretary smiled back. I guess Selena didn’t like that blonde fox stalking her baby brother. “Come along, Weatherby,” she said. “You need your rest.” She steered him down the hall, leaving me alone with Tanya.

The secretary stepped closer slowly, stopping inches away from me. “What about you, big guy?” she asked. “You got some big sister to keep me away from you?”

“Not that I know of,” I replied.

“Then how about hopping down to my room. Mr. Pepperdine let me keep a suite on the top floor. It’s got all the right furnishings. Very tasteful.” She spoke slowly and softly. I was very interested. She turned and started walking away, giving me quite a show. I followed. We headed down the stairs, and then reached her room.

Like she said, it was an ultra-modern room, everything sleek and white. A few Tiki sculptures rested on the nightstand and bookshelves. A pair of sat rested in the corner. I paused to look at them. There were some suitcases lying open on the ground too.

“You planning a trip, sweetheart?” I wondered.

Tanya shrugged. “I don’t think Mrs. Pepperdine likes having me around. So I guess I’ll go out again, just a lonely little girl.” She approached me slowly, her hands on her hips. “All alone in the world.” She reached out a palm and rested it on my chest. “Isn’t that just awful?”

“Yeah,” I said. She was playing me like a piano, and I was glad to be the keys under her fingers.

“Mr. Candle – I don’t want to be alone tonight.” She wrapped her arms my neck and pulled close to me. Her kiss was a promise. She pulled away slowly, and then smiled. “Why don’t you step into the bathroom, while I slip into something more comfortable?”

“I take the bathroom?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I’m a little claustrophobic, Morton. I guess I just don’t like small things.”

“All right.” I went to the small bathroom, in the corner of her room, and closed the door. I leaned against the tiled wall, opposite the toilet and folded my arms. I heard Tanya humming past the door — hopefully as she changed.

Something cut through all my usual thoughts like a knife. It was the gleam of pearls around her neck, which I had seen somewhere before. The answer appeared to me suddenly, just as I noticed the tiki idol resting on top of the crapper. It was an octopus, the tentacles reaching up around a bulbous body. Too late, I realized it was an Aumkua of the same variety that had killed Horace Pepperdine.

Before I could get everything straight in my head, the toilet seat flipped open. A long tentacle lashed out, quick as a striking whip, and fastened itself firmly around my throat. It was a big tentacle, glistening and mottled green. The suckers dug into my flesh, each one a tiny mouth trying to swallow me whole. I grabbed the slick surface of the tentacle as the wind left me. It dragged me down, slamming my skull against the porcelain of the toilet seat.

I saw red, my vision blurring as my breath left my body. I fumbled out, grappling with the tentacle as it choked the life out of me. I closed my eyes, seeing only darkness as I tried to grab hold of my automatics or the Ka-Bar in my boot. I doubted I could reach either one in time.

Someone was pounding on the door and shouting. It sounded very far away, and I didn’t realize who it was. Then the door was slammed open, and I opened my eyes to see Weatherby staring at me, Tanya trying to drag him back. Selena was there too, and she grabbed Tanya’s arm and pulled her away. Weatherby reached into his coat.

I saw a spray of some kind of ash leave his hand and reach the tentacle in a gray shower. The tentacle finally released my throat, leaving me to sink to the ground. I gasped as I sucked in air. The tentacle shriveled like a slug hit with salt. It tucked back into the toilet, its prey gone. It vanished in a matter of seconds. I coughed and tried to remember how to breathe, then attempted to make sense out of everything around me.