The Stardance Trilogy (14 page)

“You’ll cooperate with our PR people?” was all he asked.

“As long as you don’t try to quote me as ‘heartbroken’ by Carrington’s death,” I said agreeably. I really had to hand it to him: he almost smiled then.

“How about ‘saddened’?” he suggested delicately.

We settled on “shocked.”

We left Tom in our cabin with four full briefcases of paperwork to sort out, and went to see Harry Stein.

We found him where I expected to, in a secluded corner of the metals shop, behind a desk with stacks of pamphlets, journals and papers that would have been improbable in a full gee. He and a Tensor lamp were hunched over an incredibly ancient typewriter. One massive roll fed clean paper into it, another took up the copy. I noted with approval that the manuscript’s radius was two or three centimeters thicker than when last I’d seen it. “Say hey, Harry. Finishing up chapter one?”

He looked up, blinked. “Hey, Charlie. Good to see you.” For him it was an emotional greeting. “You must be her sister.”

Norrey nodded gravely. “Hi, Harry. I’m glad to meet you. I hear those candles in
Liberation
were your idea.”

Harry shrugged. “She was okay.”

“Yes,” Norrey agreed. Unconsciously, instinctively, she was taking on his economical word usage—as Shara had before her.

“I,” I said, “will drink to that proposition.”

Harry eyed the thermos on my belt, and raised an eyebrow in query.

“Not booze,” I assured him, unclipping it. “On the wagon. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee, fresh from Japan. Real cream. Brought it for you.” Damn it, I was doing it too.

Harry actually smiled. He produced three mugs from a nearby coffeemaker unit (personally adapted for low gee), and held them while I poured. The aroma diffused easily in low gee; it was exquisite. “To Shara Drummond,” Harry said, and we drank together. Then we shared a minute of warm silence.

Harry was a fifty-year-old ex-fback who had kept himself in shape. He was so massive and formidably packed that you could have known him a long time without ever suspecting his intelligence, let alone his genius—unless you had happened to watch him work. He spoke mostly with his hands. He hated writing, but put in two methodical hours a day on The Book. By the time I asked him why, he trusted me enough to answer. “Somebody’s gotta write a book on space construction,” he said. Certainly no one could have been better qualified. Harry literally made the first weld on Skyfac, and had bossed virtually all construction since. There was another guy who had as much experience, once, but he died (his “suit sold out,” as the spacemen say: lost its integrity). Harry’s writing was astonishingly lucid for such a phlegmatic man (perhaps because he did it with his fingers), and I knew even then that The Book was going to make him rich. It didn’t worry me; Harry will never get rich enough to retire.

“Got a job for you, Harry, if you want it.”

He shook his head. “I’m happy here.”

“It’s a space job.”

He damned near smiled again. “I’m unhappy here.”

“All right, I’ll tell you about it. My guess is a year of design work, three or four years of heavy construction, and then a kind of permanent maintenance job keeping the whole thing running for us.”

“What?” he asked economically.

“I want an orbiting dance studio.”

He held up a hand the size of a baseball glove, cutting me off. He took a minicorder out of his shirt, set the mike for “ambient” and put it on the desk between us. “What do you want it to
do
?”

Five and a half hours later all three of us were hoarse, and an hour after that Harry handed us a set of sketches. I looked them over with Norrey, we approved his budget, and he told us a year. We all shook hands.

Ten months later I took title.

We spent the next three weeks in and around Skyfac property, while I introduced Norrey and Raoul to life without up and down. Space overawed them both at first. Norrey, like her sister before her, was profoundly moved by the personal confrontation with infinity, spiritually traumatized by the awesome perspective that the Big Deep brings to human values. And unlike her sister before her, she lacked that mysteriously total self-confidence, that secure ego-strength that had helped Shara to adjust so quickly. Few humans have ever been as sure of themselves as Shara was. Raoul, too, was only slightly less affected.

We all get it at first, we who venture out into space. From the earliest days, the most unimaginative and stolid jocks NASA could assemble for astronauts frequently came back down spiritually and emotionally staggered, and some adapted and some didn’t. The ten percent of Skyfac personnel who spend much time EVA, who have any way of knowing they’re not in Waukegan besides the low gee, often have to be replaced, and no worker is depended on until his or her second tour. Norrey and Raoul both came through it—they were able to expand their personal universe to encompass that much external universe, and came out of the experience (as Shara and I had) with a new and lasting inner calm.

The spiritual confrontation, however, was only the first step. The major victory was much subtler. It was more than just spiritual malaise that washed out seven out of ten exterior construction workers in their first tour: It was also physiological—or was it psychological?—distress.

Free fall itself they both took to nearly at once. Norrey was much quicker than Raoul to adapt—as a dancer, she knew more about her reflexes, and he was more prone to forget himself and blunder into impossible situations, which he endured with dogged good humor. But both were proficient at “jaunting,” propelling oneself through an enclosed space, by the time we were ready to return to Earth. (I myself was pleasantly astonished at how fast unused dance skills came back to me.)

The real miracle was their equally rapid acclimation to sustained EVA, to extended periods outdoors in free space. Given enough time, nearly anyone can acquire new reflexes. But startlingly few can learn to live without a local vertical.

I was so ignorant at that time that I hadn’t the slightest
idea
what an incredible stroke of good fortune it was that both Norrey and Raoul could. No wonder the gods smile so seldom—we so often fail to notice. Not until the next year did I realize how narrowly my whole venture—my whole life—had escaped disaster. When it finally dawned on me, I had the shakes for days.

That kind of luck held for the next year.

The first year was spent in getting the ball rolling. Endless millions of aggravations and petty details—have you ever tried to order dancing shoes for
hands
? With velcro palms? So few of the things we needed could be ordered from the Johnny Brown catalog, or put together out of stock space-hardware. Incredible amounts of imaginary dollars flowed through my and Norrey’s right hands, and but for Tom McGillicuddy the thing simply would not have been possible. He took care of incorporating both the Shara Drummond School of New Modern Dance and the performing company, Stardancers, Inc., and became business manager of the former and agent for the latter. A highly intelligent and thoroughly honorable man, he had entered Carrington’s service with his eyes—and his ears—wide open. When we waved him like a wand, magic resulted. How many honest men understand high finance?

The second indispensable wizard was, of course, Harry. And bear in mind that during five of those ten months, Harry was on mandatory dirtside leave, readapting his body and bossing the job by extreme long distance phone (God, I hated having phones installed—but the phone company’s rates were fractionally cheaper than buying our own orbit-to-Earth video equipment, and of course it tied the Studio into the global net). Unlike the majority of Skyfac personnel, who rotate dirtside every fourteen months, construction men (those who make it) spend so much time in total weightlessness that six months is the recommended maximum. I figured us Stardancers for the same shift, and Doc Panzella agreed. But the first month and the last four were under Harry’s direct supervision, and he actually turned it in under budget—doubly impressive considering that much of what he was doing had never been done before. He would have beat his original deadline; it wasn’t his fault that we had to move it up on him.

Best of all, Harry turned out (as I’d hoped) to be one of those rare bosses who would rather be working with his hands than bossing. When the job was done he took a month off to collate the first ten inches of copy on his takeup reel into The First Book, sold it for a record-breaking advance and Santa Claus royalties, and then hired back on with us as set-builder, prop man, stage manager, all-around maintenance man, and resident mechanic. Tokugawa’s boys had made astonishingly little fuss when we hired Harry away from them. They simply did not know what they were missing—until it was
months
too late to do anything about it.

We were able to raid Skyfac so effectively only because it was what it was: a giant, heartless multinational that saw people as interchangeable components. Carrington probably knew better—but the backers he had gotten together and convinced to underwrite his dream knew even less about space than I had as a video man in Toronto. I’m certain they thought of it, most of them, as merely an extremely foreign investment.

I needed all the help I could get. I needed that entire year—and more!—to overhaul and retune an instrument that had not been used in a quarter of a century: my dancer’s body. With Norrey’s support, I managed, but it wasn’t easy.

In retrospect, all of the above strokes of luck were utterly necessary for the Shara Drummond School of New Modern Dance to have become a reality in the first place. After so many interlocking miracles, I guess I should have been expecting a run of bad cards. But it sure didn’t
look
like one when it came.

For we truly did have dancers coming out of our ears when we finally opened up shop. I had expected to need good PR to stimulate a demand for the expensive commodity, for although we absorbed the bulk of student expenses (we
had
to—how many could afford the hundred-dollar-a-kilo elevator fee alone?) we kept it expensive enough to weed out the casually curious—with a secret scholarship program for deserving needy.

Even at those prices, I had to step lively to avoid being trampled in the stampede.

The cumulative effect of Shara’s three tapes on the dance consciousness of the world had been profound and revolutionary. They came at a time when Modern dance as a whole was in the midst of an almost decade-long stasis, a period in which everyone seemed to be doing variations of the already-done, in which dozens of choreographers had beat their brains out trying to create the next New Wave breakthrough, and produced mostly gibberish. Shara’s three tapes, spaced as she had intuitively sensed they must be, had succeeded in capturing the imagination of an immense number of dancers and dance lovers the world over—as well as millions of people who had never given dance a thought before.

Dancers began to understand that free fall meant free dance, free from a lifetime in thrall to gravity. Norrey and I, in our naiveté, had failed to be secretive enough about our plans. The day after we signed the lease on our dirtside studio in Toronto, students began literally arriving at our door in carloads and refusing to leave—much before we were ready for them. We hadn’t even figured out how to audition a zero-gee dancer on Earth yet. (Ultimately it proved quite simple: Dancers who survived an elimination process based on conventional dance skills were put on a plane, taken up to angels thirty, dumped out, and filmed on the way down. It’s not the
same
as free fall—but it’s close enough to weed out gross unsuitables.)

We were sleeping ’em like torpedomen at the dirtside school, feeding them in shifts, and I began having panicky second thoughts about calling up to Harry and putting off our deadline so he could triple the Studio’s living quarters. But Norrey convinced me to be ruthlessly selective and take
ONLY
the most promising ten—out of hundreds—into orbit.

Thank God—we damned near lost three of those pigeons in two separate incidents, and we conclusively washed out nine. That run of bad cards I mentioned earlier.

Most often it came down to a failure to adapt, an inability to evolve the consciousness beyond dependence on up and down (the one factor skydiving
can’t
simulate: a skydiver
knows
which way is down). It doesn’t help to tell yourself that north of your head is “up” and south of your feet is “down”—from that perspective the whole universe is in endless motion (you’re hardly ever motionless in free fall), a perception most brains simply reject. Such a dancer would persistently “lose his point,” his imaginary horizon, and become hopelessly disoriented. Side effects included mild to extreme terror, dizziness, nausea, erratic pulse and blood pressure, the grand-daddy of all headaches and involuntary bowel movement.

(Which last is uncomfortable and embarrassing. P-suit plumbing makes country outhouses look good. Men have the classic “relief tube,” of course, but for women and for defecation in either sex we rely on a strategic deployment of specially treated…oh, hell, we wear a diaper and try to hold it until we get indoors. End of first inevitable digression.)

Even in inside work, in the Goldfish Bowl or Raoul’s collapsible trampoline sphere, such dancers could not learn to overcome their perceptual distress. Having spent their whole professional lives battling gravity with every move they made, they found that they were lost without their old antagonist—or at least without the linear, right-angled perceptual set that is provided: we found that some of them could actually learn to acclimate to weightlessness inside a cube or rectangle, as long as they were allowed to think of one wall as the “ceiling” and its opposite as the “floor.”

And in the one or two cases where their vision was adequate to the new environment, their bodies, their instruments, were not. The new reflexes just failed to jell.

They simply were not meant, any of them, to live in space. In most cases they left friends—but they all left.

All but one.

Linda Parsons was the tenth student, the one that didn’t wash out, and finding her was good fortune enough to make up for the run of bad cards.