The Space Beyond (The Book of Phoenix) (30 page)

Chapter 28

Total blackness. Garbled voices from far away. A swooshing in my ears. Wetness all around me. I tried to inhale. Searing pain in my throat and lungs. Searing pain
everywhere
.

“Bex,” a voice called, sounding like we were under water. I couldn’t even be sure I heard the correct word. “Bex?”

Where was I? Movement under me. A light rumbling. A car. So we weren’t under water. Why did it sound like we were?

“Bex, sweetie.” The female voice came clearer. The watery sound came from my head, along with the feeling of drills piercing my skull. “Bex, are you awake?”

I tried to open my eyes. A little bit of lightness compared to the complete darkness behind my lids, but I could see nothing. Something blocked my view. A blurred shape moved in front of me. My head spun. My stomach lurched. Agony shot through every nerve in my body. But I couldn’t scream. Only whimper.

“Is she okay?” A deep voice. A man’s voice.

My heart and my lungs stopped. Every muscle tensed, making the pain worse, but I didn’t care, because I had to get away, I had to escape, I had to get out of here before he killed me, he was a monster, evil, horrid, he already killed Sissy, oh, Sissy, my sister—

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, Bex. You’re safe.” The female voice again. Familiar.

“Sissy?” I tried to say, but the sound was nothing more than a hiss.

“It’s me, Leni. Asia is here and Jeric and Brock. You’re okay, Bex. We’re going to make you okay.”

Not Mas— I couldn’t even think his name without being overcome by horror.

Something soft and warm brushed across my forehead. Leni. I knew Leni and the others. Had they saved me?

“Calm down, sweetie,” Leni said. “Relax. Just try to stay awake, okay? Stay with us. We’re going to get you help. We’re going to make you okay. We’re taking you to Nathayden. Do you remember—”

“No,” I croaked. Flames licked my throat as I tried to speak. “No … no more men.”

“It’s okay, sweetie,” she said. “Nathayden’s not just another man. He’s what your soul
needs
.”

“Leni, the Book.” Another female voice. Asia? “What’s it doing?”

A gasp.

“Hand it here,” Leni said, the softness in her voice now urgent.

My legs moved. The worst kind of pain shot through my hooha. I tried to scream. I sounded like a dying cat.

“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry, Bex.” Yes, that sounded like Asia, but I couldn’t see her. What was in front of my damn eyes? Were my cheeks that swollen? My eyelids? Had to have been. A warm wetness seeped through, and the saltiness burned down my raw face.

Blackness again. My body drifted in it. Maybe I should have been scared, but at least there was no pain.

“
Rebethannah
.” A male voice, but not frightening. The opposite actually. Kind. Low and a little gritty but in a warm way, like sand on a beach. “
Rebethannah …
”

He said my name like it was a song. But wait. That wasn’t my name.

“
Come to me, love.
”

And even though I’d just told Leni no more men, I wanted to go to this voice, I
so
wanted to. But I didn’t know how.

“Bex? Are you still with us?” Leni again. Reality again. I didn’t want reality. It hurt too damn much. “Do you remember Nathayden? He’s your true mate, Bex. Your other half. The one you’ve always been looking for. We’re taking you to him. You’re his Rebethannah. Do you remember that name? That’s you.” A small, warm hand wrapped around mine. Moved my arm. More pain. More whimpering. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m so sorry. But I need you to understand. To remember. Maybe this will help.”

She let go of my hand. It rested on something smooth and cooler. Papery?

I drifted off again.

“
Rebethannah
,” sang the voice of summer, of warmth, of goodness and love. He had an accent. Australian, maybe? “It’s me, Nathayden. I’m here, my love. I’m waiting for you. Come back to me.”

A vision of heaven floated behind my eyelids. No, not heaven. A face. The face of my dreams. The man of my dreams. Gray eyes, light brown hair, chiseled features. Was he an angel? He looked like a god. How could I have thought that asshole looked anything like this man? I must have been blinded by stupidity. The biggest difference was in the eyes. Not the color, but the soul that shone behind them.

I felt like I knew it more than I knew myself.

“You do know me,” he said. “I am part of you, and you are part of me. Our souls have been together forever. They
were
. They even became One soul at one time, but we’ve been Separated for a while, my love. Too long. We need to find each other, Rebethannah, before it’s too late.”

Warmth traveled through my icy hand and up my cold arm. His warmth. I could feel him over me, around me, trying to soak into me. And something within me responded, knew I needed to let him in. I suddenly wanted nothing more than to do so.

I knew it was right. He was right. We belonged together. We needed each other. Not in a co-dependent, unhealthy way that made people stupid. Not the “I can’t live without you” bullshit Mason pulled on me, or in the superficial way most people said they needed someone else. No, this need went deep, real deep, all the way down to the soul. We were literally incomplete without the other, and the more this truth settled in, the more my heart and soul ached for him. The more urgent my need to be with him grew.

“Where are you?” I asked. “How do I find you?”

“I’m in the Beyond. Come to me, my love.” His voice faded, drifting away. I wanted to reach out for him, pull him close, never let him go. “
Come be mine forever again
.”

A chill ran through me at these last words that floated from nowhere.
No
, I wanted to scream. Memories. Bad memories. My mind was playing tricks on me. There was no other half. No soul mate for me. I didn’t belong with anyone. Love was a joke played on the lonely. And I would always be lonely.

The warmth disappeared.

The pain returned.

“Bex, hun, you with us?”

No. I didn’t want to be with them. I didn’t want to be with anyone. Not anymore. I wanted to be alone. I belonged alone. I embraced the loneliness that was my destiny.

Blackness came again.

Then cold.

So cold, it burned at first, like plunging a hand into a cooler of ice water. No, like sinking my whole body in a tub of it. Freezing my skin and flesh and bones, down to my heart … to my soul. Cold everywhere.

And then numbness. Ohmagosh, sweet, heavenly numbness. No more cold. No more pain. No more anything.

And even though there was no light and I couldn’t see anything, a Darkness blacker than black pulled at me. Slipped under and around me, carried me, promised more numbness, an emptiness so complete, I’d never feel anything again. And I wanted that more than I’d ever wanted anything in my entire life.

To never feel again.

Because feeling meant caring, and caring turned into loving, and loving led to broken hearts and shattered souls, with the pieces scattering in the wind because nobody could ever put them back together again.

Loving led to mamas abandoning you, sisters betraying you, and lovers leaving you behind … or carving you up like a piece of fucking meat.

Loving led to pain, another feeling.

And I didn’t want to feel ever again.

I chose the Darkness.

Chapter 29

“Bex?” I said, my hand on her shoulder, squeezing ever so gently. I didn’t want to hurt her any more than she already was by shaking her, but her losing consciousness wasn’t good either. “Bex, hun, you with us?”

A lump filled my throat when she didn’t answer.

“Stay with us, Bex,” I pleaded with her. “I need you to stay awake. Stay here with us.”

Still nothing. I leaned over to hover my cheek over her mouth. Her breath came light and cold. And very slow.

“We’re losing her,” I said, my voice calm and quiet although panic gripped my heart. I looked around outside, but only saw car lights and green highway signs. “Where are we? Are we close?”

“We just passed 75,” Brock said. “We have to cross Tampa. We’ll be there soon.”

“Not soon enough!” I snapped. I looked down at Bex. Gave her shoulder another squeeze. “Come on, Bex. Don’t leave us yet. We’re taking you to your Nathayden. Just hang in there a little longer.”

No response. Her body felt softer and heavier in my arms and across my lap. Asia tapped reflexive points, but Bex’s muscles didn’t jump. Then she reached out for her hand, looking at me for approval. Bex’s arm was obviously broken, and if Asia moved it, the pain would be excruciating. Maybe what she needed to wake up. I gave Asia a slight nod. No scream, no reaction at all from Bex. Twisting my arm awkwardly under Bex’s head, I pressed my fingers to the pulse point on her throat. She wasn’t gone. Yet.

“Brock, pull over,” I ordered as my own pulse sped. He only looked at me in the rearview mirror. “Pull over, damn it! Now!”

“What—”

“We’re out of time!” I said. “We have to try the Book or we’ll never make it, and we’ll lose them both.”

“There’s an exit a mile up here,” Jeric said.

“No! Now! Pull over so we can leave the damn car.”

Bex’s body flinched in my arms, but I didn’t know if she could hear me yelling, or if her muscles twitched while she remained unconscious.

“What’s going on?” Brock asked as he steered the car over to the shoulder and stopped.

“This is a bad place—” Jeric started. He had good reason for not wanting to stop on shoulders, but if someone slammed into us, we wouldn’t be here.

“Don’t worry,” I snapped at him, “we’re not staying long.” I wiggled my left arm free and closed the Book. “I don’t know how this works, but I think you have to be touching the Book or me or whoever does the … thing.”

“What thing? What are you talking about?” Brock demanded.

“Do you know what the hell you’re doing?” Asia sounded like she thought I’d lost my mind.

“No, but we don’t have a choice. Just do it,” I said.

Asia and Brock exchanged a confused glance, but Jeric nodded at them. She put a hand on my shoulder, and Jeric reached around the seat to put a hand on my knee. Brock grasped the edge of the Book, holding it over Bex’s body in the center of all of us. I held on tightly to Bex, touched the phoenix on the cover and believed with every thread of my soul that we would
all
arrive at the Gate.

The ghostly phoenix rose and flew a tight circle around us in the confines of the car. The colors turned fiery. Sparks flew. The flames engulfed us. Asia and Brock both gasped.

When the phoenix settled to ash and the whiteness faded, we were sitting on our butts on a grassy area close to the water’s edge. The manor stood behind us, the Gate in the water in front of us. Bex lay on my lap. It had worked.

“How’d you know to do that?” Brock asked with awe.

“Instinct,” I muttered as I looked upwards.

Lakari darkened the sky, so many of them, they blotted out all the stars and the moonlight. With screams that sounded like nails on a chalkboard, they began dropping out of the air, landing as human figures.

Their target was clear.

Bex—Rebethannah—had made it here, and the Lakari wanted her.

Guardians poured out of the manor. I sensed several projecting their souls. Brock, Asia, and Jeric jumped to their feet to fight, while I sat with Bex in my arms, trying to figure out what to do.

“We need to get her to the Gate,” I yelled over the sounds of Guardians and Lakari fighting.

“How?” Jeric asked right before swinging at a Shadowman.

Good question. We went to the Gate by projecting our souls, because our bodies would drown at the bottom of the bay. But how could I get Bex to project? Was I really going to have to cut her soul out like Theo and Mira had done to Jacey and Micah? My eyes fell to Bex’s limp body. Could I do that to her? What if it didn’t work?

My gaze slid to the Book lying on her stomach, and my spine tingled. Another gut feeling.
Follow my instinct
. Intuition provided the theory of what would happen if I touched the Gate area of the image on the cover in the same way I touched the phoenix. We’d be transported, but not within this world, as the phoenix symbolized. I’d felt this instinct before I’d taken Jeric to Alaska, and it came stronger now.

“Jeric, come here,” I called to him. His fist smashed into a Shadowman’s face, making the Lakari explode into pieces that flew high into the sky to regroup. I propped Bex against my shoulder awkwardly, and as soon as Jeric was close enough, I reached out to grab his leg while stretching my hand to touch the Book cover where the Gate would be under the island.

Nothing happened.

I swiped my fingers everywhere in the water part of the image. Still nothing. Maybe my instinct had been wrong.

“We need to get her out of here,” Brock shouted as he ran over to us while Jeric spun to kick a Shadowman.

“Take her, Brock,” Jeric yelled. “I’ll cover you.”

Brock slid his arms under Bex’s body and gently lifted her. A small sound escaped her throat. It was the best sign of life I could hope for. I jumped to my feet, just in time to slam my fist into a Shadowman’s head. I spun and kicked him in the ribs, then landed a few punches in the right places to make him disappear. More swarmed us. Asia ran over, helping Jeric and me protect Brock and Bex.

“We have to take her to the Gate,” I said.

“Through the water?” Brock asked with disbelief.

“I don’t know any other way, do you?” I asked as another black-hooded figure headed toward us. More began swarming in our direction. Dark shapes swooped and screeched overhead. There were too many for the Guardians. Where were they all coming from? It’s like they were gathering for some purpose. Were they not here for Rebethannah after all? “It’s that or cut her soul out.”

“How?” Asia yelled while fighting off a Shadowman. Guardians ran toward us to stave off the onslaught of Darkness.

“Take her into the water, Brock,” I said. “Maybe her soul will leave on its own when it gets close to the Gate.”

“No, Leni,” Jeric yelled. “Let’s take her inside.”

“We don’t have time!” I yelled back at him.

Brock had already started for the water’s edge with Bex in his arms, and I swooped down to grab the Book then ran to catch up to him.

“Leni!” Jeric yelled.

“Come on!” I replied.

Brock and I were already several yards ahead of Asia and Jeric who fought more Lakari. We waded into the water that wasn’t much cooler than a bath. As the bottom of the bay sloped downward, the water rose to my knees and then my thighs. When it reached my hips, I looked over my shoulder. Jeric and Asia were still at the water’s edge, fighting.

“Jeric, come on,” I called out to him. “We have to go!”

“I don’t think—”

“I don’t care what the fuck you think,” I yelled at him, my patience gone. “This is what we have to do! Now come with me, damn it.”

He turned and locked eyes with me. He must have seen I wasn’t giving in. He had to feel what I felt—that taking Bex into the water might not have been the normal way to get her to the Gate, but it somehow felt like the right way. He knew what we had to do—we had to save Rebethannah. He only had to make the decision. Give the command.

But still, he lingered. Without breaking the lock we held with our eyes, I walked backward until I was even with Brock. We were out far enough for the water to reach Bex’s back, butt, and legs, and she let out a moan.

“She’ll hate it, but the brackish water will be good for her wounds,” I said, not knowing if the condition of her body mattered longer than the next few minutes or not, but if anything, maybe the sting would bring her to full consciousness.

Brock dropped to his knees to immerse her body up to her neck. Bex groaned louder, and her body jerked and convulsed.

“Are you coming or not?” I asked Jeric. “We need to hurry!”

One more heartbeat passed.

Then he gave me a sharp nod.

“Come on, Asia,” he finally ordered. “The rest of you, cover us!”

I gave him a small smile. Told him
I love you
with my eyes and my soul. My Jeremicah finally sounded like a real leader. A warrior leader. His lips tilted up in response.

“Aye!” the Guardians yelled out in unison, and they went on the offensive while Jeric and Asia fought off Shadowmen as they made their way into the bay.

I turned and pushed through the water alongside Brock, splashing it around me. Several drops landed on the Book’s cover. It glowed a silvery blue everywhere the water touched. I dipped my hand in the water and spread more over the cover. The entire area of the image that depicted the sea lit up.

And I knew what was coming. My soul knew.

“Jeric! Asia!
Hurry!
” I bellowed.

Jeric punched the last Shadowman on their tails in the face and looked at me with wide eyes.

“No, Leni!” he yelled when he saw what was happening. A bright light was already rising from the bottom of the bay. “Get back here!”

“Hurry, Jeric!” I screamed as I reached out to touch Bex’s shoulder. He and Asia were several yards behind us. Too far behind us. The light of the Gate rose higher, surrounding only Brock, Bex, and me. Panic made my heart pound in my chest. “Asia!
Jeric!
NOW!”

The Shadowmen behind them stopped fighting the Guardians and stared, their inky black eyes, usually expressionless, sparking with excitement at the sight of the Gate. Everyone’s faces reflected the bright light.

“Come on!” I screamed even as Jeric and Asia ran for us.

But it was too late.

The light of the Gate shot skyward and solidified around Brock, Bex, and me. The water drained from under our feet. Brock and I stared at each other in horror. Bex moaned, the sound vibrating through my hand.

“We
have
to,” I whispered, and then said with all the conviction I could muster, “We
believe
we’ll join Nathayden.”

The light around us grew blindingly white. Brock dropped his head and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. I lifted my arm to shield mine, squinting against the brightness. I turned in place, watching for any changes.

A pinprick of a hole. It widened like a camera shutter, slowly at first and then yawning widely.

“Brock!” I yelled.

He looked up, and his eyes widened. Without warning, the hole sucked at us like a vacuum, and right before I passed through, the Book jerked out of my hands. The Gate expelled us violently just like it had Asia and me last time. Since we hadn’t entered through an official, permanent Gate, we must not have exited through one either. We fell for several seconds before splashing into a shallow body of water. The jolt through my spine as I hit the bottom didn’t compare in the slightest to the agony in my core—in my soul. My heart felt like it’d been ripped out of my chest, leaving a gaping hole. My soul felt like it’d been torn in half again, Separated from Jeremicah, from my Twin Flame.

We were no longer on the same world.

I rose to my feet, into the dark night, gasping for air that I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of until we were reunited. Brock stood, too, his ashen face twisted in the same pain I felt. Bex’s body floated on the water, face up. Pushing through the agony, we each grabbed an upper arm and towed her the several feet to the water’s edge.

“Where’s the Book?” Brock asked. “We need to get back as soon as possible.”

I shook my head at him, and my bottom lip quivered. “I … I don’t have it. It didn’t come with me.”

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, his chest hitching on the inhale. When his lids opened, his eyes were full of the same pain and grief I felt.

“Jeric and Asia will figure it out then,” he said. “They’ll come and get us and take us back.”

I nodded. “Of course they will. Or there must be a Gate somewhere on this world.”

“We’ll get back to them, Leni. I prom—”

“What the hell?” a male voice called out as it came running toward us.

Brock and I instantly dropped into fighting stances to protect Bex, not knowing what to expect. I squinted at the figure in the darkness. Tall, one head, two eyes, a nose, and a mouth. A torso with broad shoulders, a narrow waist, two muscular arms, and two thick legs, clad in a grimy, dark-colored, long-sleeved shirt and grimier, ripped-up jeans. The air smelled and tasted a little off compared to Florida, but not terribly different. From what I could see in the darkness, the landscape had no otherworldly features. I glanced up at the sky, and there seemed to be millions more stars than I’d ever seen, but there were also no nearby city lights obliterating any of them.

Were we still on Earth?

The pain in my ragged-edged soul told me no.

The man stopped in front of us, and his gaze immediately fell on Bex’s body. I tensed, hoping I could fight when I felt like I could barely breathe.

“Rebethannah!” he rasped as he rushed over and fell to his knees beside her. Brock and I both relaxed. “My love, my Rebethannah.”

The guy scooped his arms under her and pulled her into his lap, his eyes never leaving her face. Brock and I fell to the ground, too, both of our hands pressed to our chests, though no actual wounds existed.

“Nathayden?” I croaked.

He finally looked at me with breathtaking, light-colored eyes, then at Brock. He studied our faces closely before returning his attention to Bex. Enough light hit the guy’s face to show its familiarity: he looked like the last drawing Jeric had made of Nathayden. The one we hadn’t recognized before.

We’d done it. We’d brought Rebethannah and Nathayden back together.

“She’s hurt,” he said, his voice full of grief and worry. “What happened to her?”

“We’ll explain later,” I said.

“You need to Bond,” Brock finished. “It’s the only way to save her.”

Nathayden frowned at us. “How do I do that?”

Brock and I exchanged a look. Bex was in no shape or form to Bond the way most first times went—during orgasm.

“Your souls need to combine,” I said. “You have to figure it out, or she’ll die. Both of you will.”

He looked down at her again, and then nodded. With Bex in his arms, he rose to his feet with little effort.

“It’s not safe out here,” he said. I noticed for the first time that he had an unusual accent. He obviously spoke English, and sounded a lot like an Australian, but the lilt was a little different. “Come with me. I’m guessing … Jacquelena? And judging by the pain on your faces, you’re not Jeremicah, so you must be Broderick.”

“I go by Leni this time,” I said as I pushed myself to my feet.

“You can call me Brock.” He struggled to stand, and we set off across the small beach surrounding the pond we’d landed in.

“Call me Hayden.” He didn’t slow for us, so we rushed to keep up with him. “I feel like I know you, but I really don’t.”

“It’s normal,” Brock said. “As long as you know her, that’s all that’s important.”