The Space Beyond (The Book of Phoenix) (16 page)

I cupped my hand over his cheek. “But this
is
what we do, Jeric. This is our choice and our reason for even existing. Please don’t try to take me away from it.”

He sighed. “Doesn’t mean I like it.”

He leaned in and kissed me on the lips, then slid his hand over my back and rested his chin on my shoulder. As usual, I had the Book of Phoenix in front of me. Too distracted last night, I hadn’t even thought about checking it, but I was dying to look this morning. Several days ago I’d had what I thought to be a clever idea to write a note to Nathayden in the Book, hoping that he might be able to answer me. Right below the words “Save Rebethannah,” I’d written, “Who are you? Are you on Earth or another world?”

I checked the page morning, noon, and night for an answer. So far, there had been none. With a deep breath (that didn’t hurt), I opened the journal and flipped to the page.

And there was still no answer.

Chapter 15

I am so going to hell
. I sat in church the morning after the party with a pounding headache, a queasy stomach, and those words echoing through my head. Everyone who had been at the party sat silently in pews, some hiding secretive smiles behind their hands and others looking as green as I felt. At least, everyone who still went to church, which was almost all of us. We were born and raised to fear God, and boy was I fearing him now. I think the preacher always knew when there was a K-bomb—word traveled like fire in this town, so it was definitely possible—because every Sunday after a big party, his sermons focused on immoral deeds, imbibing in the devil’s brew, and living in sin. He basically preached for over an hour how much we were all heathens.

Not only the drinking, or the dancing, or how far I’d gone with Ty when I shouldn’t have even kissed him, or thinking of Mason
while
kissing Ty had convinced me of my afterlife destination. The last image I remembered from the night—the demon that I still swore up and down that I saw—made it clear. It was after me. I
felt
it. The demon had come for me because … because …

My stomach lurched. Oh, crap, I was about to toss my cookies. I bolted from the pew and ran for the ladies’ room with my hand over my mouth. Half the congregation broke into stifled laughter.

Several minutes later, I pressed my face against the somewhat cool car window while I tried to drive myself home, wishing I could die while promising that I’d never, ever, ever drink hunch punch or anything else ever again. Relief washed over me when I pulled into the trailer park without puking a second time. Uncle Troy had seen me leave church early. I only hoped he got the message that I was in no shape to work.

I stumbled up the steps and into my trailer and barely made it to my bed in the back room before collapsing. Never had hunch punch or any alcohol affected me so badly. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a hangover like this, if ever. If I hadn’t known the people I was with, I’d reckon someone had drugged me, but that wasn’t some nightclub in the city, and Ty had stuck too close to me for anyone to dare.

I groaned as I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling, thinking about Ty. He’d apparently brought me inside and left me here because I woke up this morning in my own bed, still wearing the same clothes except my boots. He’d taken those off, but nothing more. There was no evidence at all that he’d slept here, too. I sure hoped he hadn’t. I’d let things go way too far last night, and now remorse added to all the icky feelings tumbling in my gut. I’d never wanted to lead him on, and last night I’d done just that.

But even now, I couldn’t help but think that maybe he was right. That I needed to get the idea of Mason, being with a doctor, leaving this town and lifestyle behind, out of my head, because this was where I belonged. This was home. Perhaps I even needed to forget the idea of there being someone out there who was my soul mate. Maybe The One didn’t exist. Maybe Ty was the best I’d ever get, and truth be told, he wasn’t all that bad.

If I could trust that he wouldn’t leave me again.

Something deep inside me stirred, though, letting me know that The One
was
out there. Or maybe right in front of my face. Either way, my soul knew he
did
exist. Somewhere.

Without standing up, I managed to wriggle and worm my way out of my maxi dress, and I lay on top of my covers in only my bra and panties and fell asleep. Visions of men danced through my head. Lots of them. But they weren’t hot, lucky-me sex dreams I had. Just a variety of faces, their appearances very different, yet something felt
the same
about them. As if they were all the same man, even when they had different hair and eye colors, different styles like they came from more than one era. And with each one, I felt a strong connection. I thought,
He’s The One
. Every single time. When I drifted awake, the last face floating behind my eyelids showed a tan complexion, sharp cheekbones and jaw, buzzed hair, and light eyes, either gray or light green.

Voices in my trailer brought me awake, and I figured my subconscious had intertwined the last face with reality because Mason Hayes was in my house.

Wait. Mason Hayes was in my house? What the fuck?

“Found her,” he said.

My eyes opened. Mason stood over me, with Sissy in the doorway right behind him. I shot straight up, realized I was practically naked and yanked the covers around me. My head swam, my vision blurred, and I almost crashed back down on my bed, but Mason caught me and laid me down gently. Even with the frown that puckered his brow, he was so damn hot.

“You’re so damn hot,” he said, echoing my thoughts, and my face flushed. The corners of his lips quivered. “Yes, in that way, too, but I mean your skin. You have a fever.”

“Nah, just a sunburn.” I struggled to sit up, but he refused to let me.

“I’m a doctor. I can tell the difference between a sunburn and a fever.”

My eyes scrunched. “You think I’m sick? I thought it was a hangover.”

“So you did go to the K-bomb,” Sissy said, a twinge of jealousy lacing her tone.

Oh, crap. I looked at her and back at Mason, my lip tugging to the side with guilt. “Um … yeah.”

His light green gaze swept over my face, and he shook his head while smiling. “Well, I hope you had fun, because you aren’t going anywhere for at least a day.” He stood up and towered over me. “I’ll be back in a few. But you might want to put something on. Once I get back, I won’t be going anywhere, either.”

He strode out of the room and a few seconds later, the screen door slammed shut. I bolted upright again.

“What the hell is he doing here?” I demanded of my sister. I couldn’t believe she’d brought
him
to our house. Our little two-bedroom, thirty-year-old tin can of a trailer house.

“I was going to ask you the same thing!”

“
Me?
You brought him here! And what are you doing here anyway?”

She placed a hand on her shorts-clad hip. “I needed a break so thought I’d come home and see my sister. He, uh …” She paused and glanced out my window. “He followed me, I guess.”

I looked out the window, too, and watched a newer model, black sedan leave the trailer park, turning for town. Sissy’s old beater sat outside next to mine.

“To see me?” I asked, unable to mask my awe.

She snorted. “Well, definitely not to see me. He hasn’t even called to see how Mama’s doing, until this morning. I told him well enough for Mama’s neighbor to hang out and take care of her while I came to see you. I think he was really calling to fish for info, you know, since he followed me and all.”

I leaned back against the wall and pulled my knees to my chest. “How’s Mama doing? If I’d have known Uncle Troy was going to give me the afternoon off yesterday, I woulda come to see you guys.”

“You woulda come to see
Dr. Hayes
,” she corrected me. She crawled on the bed on all fours until she reached the other side and sat next to me.

“I woulda seen you and Mama … first.”

“Well, you’re not missin’ anything. She’s the same. No better, no worse. Her other doctors say it’ll take time for the new meds to make a big enough difference. Time she doesn’t really have.” She leaned against me and rested her head on my shoulder. Her next words weighed heavily with grief. “I don’t think she’s gonna make it, Bex.”

I hung my arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer. “Think positively, Sissy. And pray. Hard. She needs as much prayin’ on her behalf as we can do.”

She nodded and sniffed and pulled away. “Good heavens, Bex, you really are burnin’ up.”

I snorted. “I still think it’s just a sunburn, but if Dr. Hotstuff’s gonna take care of me, I ain’t gonna stop him.”

Sissy tilted her head. “Didn’t you just go to the K-bomb with Ty?”

“Yeah. So?”

“And weren’t you gettin’ it on with him in his truck?”

“Good night, word sure gets around fast.”

“Yeah, Kaylee called me, all excited. So are you gettin’ back together with him or what?”

I sighed. “I don’t know, Sissy. It had felt so right last night, and even a little bit this morning, even though I haven’t seen him at all. But … I just can’t. I can’t let him in like that again. Ty is toxic for me.”

Sissy rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. Ty screwed up by leavin’ you, and he knows it now. Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? If you gave Mama one, surely he deserves one.”

I scowled at her. She made an excellent point. And part of me did want to give Ty a second chance. But another part of me thrilled at the sound of tires crunching on sandy gravel outside—without the loud sound of a truck engine accompanying it. I glanced out the window. Ty’s big black truck still sat over at his house, not moving at all today. And Mason’s sleek and shiny black car came to a stop behind mine.

“Quick! Throw me some clothes!” I commanded Sissy.

She jumped up and yanked open a dresser drawer, and then threw an old, paint-stained t-shirt and cut-off sweats at me. I didn’t have time to complain or choose something better, so I hurried into them right before Mason walked inside. Peeking from my bed down the hallway and into the living room, I watched as he dropped some shopping bags on the kitchen counters and then turned in a circle, taking the place in. I sagged back against the wall and closed my eyes. How embarrassing.

Even more embarrassing was when my stomach heaved again, and I had to run for the bathroom. Then the chills came on, and at some point, I stopped being self-conscious because I was too sick to care.

Mason stayed and took care of me. As in, stayed the night and the next day and that night, too. Sissy had gone back to Mama’s Monday morning after sleeping on the couch because she gave up her bed for Mason. I think she was keeping an eye on us, making sure he stayed in her room at the other end of the trailer from mine. So precious of her to care about my virtue. But one night on our old lumpy couch with its scratchy, plaid upholstery was enough for her. Besides, she needed to get back to Mama and her caretaking duties.

“You look a lot better,” Mason said Tuesday morning when I finally emerged from my room and after giving my teeth a much needed scrubbing.

“I can’t believe you’re still here.” I made it as far as the couch, where I lay on my side, curled in a ball. I hadn’t checked yet but I should have had a six-pack, the way my abs ached from all the barfing.

“I took off a few days to see you.”

“Too bad I was sick the whole time.”

He rose from his seat at the tiny kitchen table and came over to the couch. He lifted my upper body, sat down, and then laid me back down so my head was on his thigh.

“I can’t say that was my top choice of how to spend time with you, but it was better than nothing,” he said as he brushed the straggly hairs away from my face. Good heavens, I needed a shower. How he could stand to be so close was beyond me. “But I have another day, so you’re not sick for the
whole
time.”

“I
can
say that if anyone was to take care of me, you’d be my top choice.” When he grinned cockily, I added, “Because you are a doctor, after all.”

He laughed. “Geez, and I thought you meant because of my great looks or my fantastic bedside manner.”

“Hmm … yeah, maybe those, too.”

He laughed again, and I smiled, enjoying the sound.

“So I don’t have to worry about this Ty dude who stopped by?” he asked, and my body tensed. “Or do I?”

“He’s, uh, an old friend. My best friend, besides Sissy. He’s been friends with us both since we were little.” Could I say friend any more times? Who was I trying to convince—Mason or me?

“Yet you never mentioned this
best
friend to me before.” He twirled his finger in my hair, and I couldn’t tell from his voice if he was teasing or serious. I guess that did sound a little worrisome, from his point of view. I’d be a little suspicious, too, if he had a female best friend that he’d failed to mention to me. Who he happened to have gone steady with and possibly been in love with for several years. Who still lived next door … at least for the time being. I mean, it’s not like Mason and I were dating, but we’d talked enough, set the stage enough, that something like this probably should have been brought up. And since it hadn’t, well, I knew it looked like I was hiding something. Maybe because I was. Mason chuckled. “I’ll try not to be jealous, although I may not have been able to help it when he came by to check on you.”

“Ty came by?” And here I’d been wondering the whole time I was sick why he hadn’t bothered. Why he’d dumped my passed-out self in my bed and never returned. Wasn’t like him.

“Yesterday morning. He said he’d been sick and wanted to apologize for his disappearing act. He wanted to see you, but I insisted that he not wake you up. I might have pulled the doctor card. He looked pretty pissed off, so I’m thinking you did tell him about me.”

Oh, shit. My head swam again and my stomach clenched, but not from feeling ill. Not physically ill, anyway. I imagined the scene of Ty showing up and finding Mason here after the night we had together, and then being shooed off like a pesky ant by the very guy Ty knew was trying to steal me away from him …. Damn, it couldn’t have been good. I needed to talk to Ty, but I honestly didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t know what to do about Mason right now, either.

I liked him here with me. I liked how he’d taken care of me. I liked the bright pink flowers that stood in a vase on the nightstand next to my bed—flowers he’d brought me. He’d held my hair back, doctored me until the fever broke, made me suck on ice cubes and then sip water to ensure I didn’t dehydrate. When I could finally hold anything down last night, he made me broth and crackers. And not once did he try anything or give a hint that he did it all for any other reason than he simply cared.

My heart was torn.

“So,” Mason said, the tone of his voice changed, lighter and more cheerful, when I didn’t respond, “what should we do today?”