The Society of Super Secret Heroes (7 page)

“Hey, that's rubber snot!” Raj exclaimed.

“Yep, my newest gag from Gag-o-Rama,” Elliott said. Carefully, he wound up the snot and stuffed it into his cargo pocket.

“I think Fin's idea is cool,” Raj said when the guys had settled down. “I wouldn't mind being a secret superhero. I could be Raj the Remarkable. That's what I'm going to call myself when I become a professional magician.”

Kev snorted. “So we're all supposed to have secret names?”

“Why not? Yours can be Kev the Killjoy,” Elliott said.

Fin and Raj cracked up.

“Ha-ha. You're not funny,” Kev said, but he looked like he was trying not to smile. He pulled a marker and a little pad from his pocket and began doodling something.

Elliott reached over and tugged the edge of the cape. “Hey, Fin, why did you cross out the part in the Oath about the Thinking Cape? It's an excellent name. It could be our mascot.”

“Yeah, like the funny ones all the sports teams have,” Kev agreed. “Did you ever see the Padres' giant chicken or the Mighty Ducks' wacky quacker?”

There it was. Finch glanced around at the guys to see if they'd heard anything. Raj was pulling on his ear. Elliott was shaking his head. Kevin was feeling his forehead.

“Mascots are for sports teams,” Fin murmured. “And they're usually kind of silly. The Thinking Cape is more like a symbol.” He stared into his lap.

“I was just thinking that,” Raj said slowly.

Kev shot him a sideways glance. “So was I.”

“Me, too,” Elliott whispered.

Finch gathered up his courage. “Did any of you hear, er, a voice say ‘foolish fowl' or ‘preposterous poultry'?”

The guys all looked at one another. Each gave a tiny nod.

“Only, not out loud,” Raj said quietly. “I heard it in my head.” He turned to Finch. “Was it inside yours, too?”

Fin nodded. He couldn't get any words out.

“I thought my head was haunted!” Elliott exclaimed. “The voice said, ‘I do not want to be a mascot, Master!' ” He shot Fin a sideways glance. “Did it mean you?”

For a moment, the guys just stared at one another. Then Kev thumped Raj on the back. “Ha-ha. This is your new magic trick, right—ventriloquism?”

“No ventriloquist can throw his voice inside someone's head,” Raj whispered.

Elliott eyeballed the ceiling. “Then . . . who's doing the talking?”

Fin's brain was racing. If everyone heard the voice, then he wasn't nuts! “It's true—it can talk,” he said. He untied the cape and placed it in the middle of the floor. “At least I think it can. I've been hearing it in my head for days.”

Raj stared. “You've been hearing voices?”

Finch gulped. “Only this voice. I asked the Thinking Cape to let you hear it, too.”

“G-gee, thanks,” Kev stammered.

“Get it to say something else, Fin,” Elliott urged. “You're its master.”

Finch leaned forward. He felt kind of foolish. “Um, Cape?”

“Can you do our homework?” Elliott asked before Fin could think of a reply.

“Can you bring us a trunk full of money?” Kev asked.

“Then what can you do?” Raj asked.

“Yeah, right. There's got to be a microphone in here somewhere,” Kev said as he crawled around peering under the furniture. The rest of the guys began searching, too. Raj poked under Fin's pillows and Elliott looked in the trash can. Even Finch looked under the bed, although he knew he wouldn't find anything.

Finally Raj said, “Who are we kidding? Even if there were a microphone, how could it speak inside our minds?”

No one could come up with an answer.

Elliott leaned toward the cape. “Are you from outer space?”

Elliott giggled. “Could you just call me Elliott?”

“You already know I got the cape from a garage sale, El,” Fin said.

“Yeah, I remember.” Kev poked the cape. “So if you're really magic, what were you doing there?”

“Call me Kev,” Kev grunted. “Let's hear the story.”

“Hold on. First everyone needs to sign the Oath,” Finch said. He held out his pen. One by one, the boys signed their names. No one said a word until Fin finished putting it away in his desk.

“Okay, Cape,” he said solemnly, “the Society of Super Secret Heroes is officially ready.”

 

“Where was your kingdom?” Raj asked.

“You can call me Raj,” Raj said. “But what was the name of the kingdom?” He squinted as if he were trying to see the place.

“Quit interrupting it, Raj,” Elliott complained. He reached out and stroked the green cape like a pet. “So what happened to you?”

“What was the problem?” Kev asked.

The boys snickered.

“You still haven't said how you got to the garage sale,” Finch reminded it. He stretched his arms and wiggled his toes. The Thinking Cape sure could talk.

“If you hadn't spoken for a thousand years, how come you can speak now?” Kev asked.

Elliott ran one of the strings through his fingers. “Did you try to talk to her or the brat?”

“Do you ever talk out loud, Cape?” Raj asked.

“Too bad. If people could hear you, you could go on TV. You'd be famous,” Elliott said.

Suddenly, from outside Fin's door, something began roaring. It sounded like a vacuum cleaner. “That's funny. It's not Gloria's day,” he said. Gloria was the Mundys' cleaning lady. She only came on Fridays.

“Maybe somebody's here to steal the cape,” Raj whispered. Just then, something bumped hard against the door. The guys jumped.

Finch stood up and tiptoed over to it. Slowly, he reached for the knob.

“Be careful,” Elliott hissed.

The thing crashed against the door again—harder this time. Finch took a deep breath and cracked it open.

Blaaam!
A vacuum cleaner hurtled through the opening, followed by Fin's sister.

“Hey! What are you doing?” he protested.

“What does it look like?” Mimi shouted over the noise. With furious strokes, she shoved the vacuum back and forth across the floor. Rosie and Cubby flew out of the room like furry demons. Finch snatched up the Oath just before the vacuum swallowed it. Raj, Kev, and Elliott jumped onto the bed.

“Pick up your feet!” Mimi ordered them.

They swung their legs off the floor.

“Who do you think you are—Gloria?” Finch shouted. “Go clean somewhere else.”

“We don't need a cleaning lady!”

Mimi yelled over the vacuum's roar.

“It's time you stopped being so spoiled. We need to save money so

I can go to private school.”

“I've got an idea! You should go to boarding school. If you do,

I'll give you all the money in my college bank account,” Finch said with a big grin on his face.

The guys smirked, but Mimi didn't think it was so funny. “Boarding school? You want me to live away from home?” She chased Fin with the vacuum nozzle. It swept up the cape and began sucking it in.

Finch grabbed the vacuum cord and pulled it out of the wall. Instantly, the noise stopped. “GET OUT!” he screamed at his sister.

“All right, I'll go. But you'd better dust this place. You can use this old rag.” Mimi tossed him the cape. “I warn you—I'm coming back to check.” She dragged the vacuum out of the room. Finch kicked the door shut after her.

“Oh, man! What got into her?” Raj whispered.

Finch shook his head. “I don't know. She's been acting weirder than usual lately.”

Elliott looked at his watch. “Oops—time to go. My mom is coming home early tonight.”

Kev stood up. “I'd better go, too. I promised I'd clean my room today.”

“I should help my grandma with the twins. They've been really bad lately,” Raj said. He put a hand on Fin's shoulder.

“But you can't leave me here with the, er, you-know-what,” Finch protested.

“Why not? You're its master,” Elliott said.

“Besides, it's always lived here,” Kev added.

Fin felt a lump growing in his throat. “But everything is different now. Maybe I should tell my mom or dad about it.”

“No! They'll take it away from us,” Elliott exclaimed.

“But what if I can't take care of it?” Fin said. “I'm messy. I make mistakes. I forget things. What if I leave it somewhere?”

“Why not?”

“Yay!” Elliott started clapping.

Fin ignored him. “But you could choose anyone you want to live with—like a billionaire or the president of the United States.”

“The cape is right,” Kev agreed. “It would never have any fun if adults found out about it. Grown-ups aren't good at keeping secrets. It would be on the TV news and then people would try to steal it. Or else scientists would want to do tests on it. It would be locked up forever.”