The Shadow Stealer (Silver Moon Saga Book 3) (9 page)

Chapter Thirteen

A cloud passed over the sun, cloaking us in shadows for a few moments. Chilled, I shivered and tucked my scarf more securely around my neck. There was something about Charles’s expression that I didn’t like. Sure, I never liked it when he stared at me because it usually meant bad things were about to happen to
me
, but this felt different.

This felt ominous.

Philip, meanwhile, was spitting with indignation. “What do you mean, you
saw
her again? When? Why didn’t I see her?”

“It was when you were twelve. A few months after you had nearly died from that demon bite,” Charles explained. “I’d gone upstate to help track and dispatch a demon. Normally I stayed in the city and hunted with Liam, but after what happened to you, I was angry. And,” he said after a pause, “bloodthirsty. I wanted to kill as many demons as I could after nearly losing you. So when the call came for additional hunters, I volunteered. We tracked it to a park, and after killing it, I saw her.”

“Mom,” I said. “You saw Mom.” There were things Charles was saying, little facts that he probably didn’t think were important, but they were adding up to something huge and life-shattering.

Like the park. I knew exactly which park he was talking about.

“I saw her, and I also Saw what she had done. Have they explained magical traces to you, Gabi?”

If only Charles knew I’d just been discussing this same exact thing with Rafe. My mouth was dry, but I managed to answer, “Yes. It’s how you track down sorcerers who summoned demons—” I broke off with a gasp. “She summoned a
demon
? The one you fought in the park?”

Besides me, Philip had gone white.

“No. That’s ridiculous. Of course he’s not saying that—”

“That’s
exactly
what I’m saying.” Charles placed his shaking hands on the table. “She summoned a demon. Maybe not that particular demon, but she’d brought one of those fiends here and the trace was on her, clear as day. I quickly approached her, knowing what would happen if the other hunters saw her, but she fled. I chased after her and finally cornered her, but she refused to tell me
why
she’d summoned a demon. Instead, she attacked me.”

Philip and I exchanged uneasy looks. A part of me wanted to get up and run away so I wouldn’t have to hear the rest of Charles’s story.

If I don’t know what happened next, then it never really happened, right?

“I didn’t want to fight her.” Charles reached for Philip, but Philip snatched his hand away before his father could touch him. “Please, you have to understand. Hurting her was the last thing I ever wanted to do. Despite everything she’d done, I still loved her.”

“You’re lying,” Philip said, speaking through clenched teeth. “Because you
did
hurt her, didn’t you, Dad?”

“I didn’t have a choice.” Charles looked like he was having trouble forcing the words out. “She would have killed me if I didn’t stop her.”

“You
attacked
her?” I whispered, trying to picture Mom,
my mom
, fighting with Charles. No. That was impossible. She didn’t summon demons, she didn’t attack people, she—

“Only one of us was leaving the park that day.” Charles spread his hands desperately. “Philip had already lost his mother—first she left him as a baby, and now she’d gone rogue and was summoning demons. If I died, who would Philip have left? No one.”

What is he talking about?
I thought, my sense of horror growing. Only one of them was leaving the park? What did they do, have a duel to the death?

Oh my god.

“No.” I stood quickly, my chair scraping noisily against the bricks. “No, no,
no
. You didn’t. Charles, you didn’t—”

Charles gazed up at me, imploringly. “She was relentless, using spells I’d never even seen before. I’d been holding back, but I knew I wouldn’t last much longer if I didn’t fight her at full strength. Despite the hunter blood that coursed through her veins, she wasn’t a trained fighter. She didn’t even see the knife before it was too late.”

“Stop,” I pleaded, shaking my head. “Just stop talking!”

But Charles wasn’t finished. “This is why I brought you to HQ, Gabi. I thought I could—” His voice cracked, and he swallowed before continuing. “I thought I could use your powers—the powers of a Soul Healer—to bring her back to life after I killed her.”

After I killed her.

His words echoed in my head, over and over again despite my efforts to block them out. All this time I’d thought she left us because she no longer loved us, when, meanwhile, Charles had
killed
her.

My family had been destroyed because of the actions of the man sitting across from me. And if Kain hadn’t found Mom’s picture, I never would have learned the truth.

It was too much. I collapsed in my chair, unable to speak or think or even breathe.

“This is why I never said anything,” Charles continued softly. “To either of you. I thought by lying to you, I could save you from the same anguish I’ve suffered through.”

Philip, his face full of rage, grabbed his father by the front of his jacket and yanked him forward. “
You
suffered? You
killed
our
mother
and you want us to feel
bad
for you? You selfish, lying
bastard
—”

“Philip!” Kain raced over, followed closely by Rafe and the others. He tried unsuccessfully to pull Philip away. “Stop, Philip. Whatever he did, I’m sure he deserves this, but you’re making a scene—”

“He killed her!” Philip shouted as he finally let go of Charles’s jacket. “He killed our mother!”

A pathetic little whimper escaped from my lips as I sat there, staring at Charles, and everyone froze.

“Oh, hell, are we forming a line to punch Charles in the face?” Evan asked from somewhere over my left shoulder. “Because all of a sudden I really want to.”

Rafe knelt before me and placed his hands on the sides of my face, forcing me to look away from Charles. His green eyes were wide and fearful as they searched my face. “Gabi, what—”

“Philip, please—” Charles pleaded. He reached for his son.

“No.
Don’t.
” Philip backed away from the table, pointing a trembling finger at his father. “I
never
want to see you again. Do you hear me? Just leave me the hell alone!” Philip stormed away, Kain chasing after him.

Good
, I thought.
I’m glad he has Kain. I’m glad he’s not facing this alone. No one should be alone…
My gaze traveled back to Charles, who was very much alone, I realized, now more than ever.

Not that I cared.

“I had to, Gabi.” Charles leaned forward, his brown eyes pleading with me to believe him. “She left me with no other choice. It was either her or me, and I couldn’t leave Philip alone in this world. I did what I did for him. It’s always been for him. Please, you must believe me.”

Our eyes met, and I saw in his gaze that he wanted my forgiveness. Something inside of me hardened, even as my heart was breaking into a million pieces, and I knew I could never give him what he wanted.

“Screw you,” I spat before allowing Rafe to lead me away.

***

It felt like I was in the middle of a dream.

No, not a dream. A nightmare.

I barely remember what happened next. Rafe must have flagged down a taxi, because the next thing I knew, we were being driven someplace. We were huddled together, Rafe’s arm around me as I pressed my face into his chest, my teeth chattering loudly in the silence. Evan was sitting in front of us next to the cab driver, and Alex was to Rafe’s left, but no one spoke.

In my head, Charles’s voice echoed.
“She left me with no choice, Gabi.”

He had no choice, and now my mom was dead.

No.
If I thought about it, I was going to lose it, right here, right now, in this yellow cab racing through the busy city. I didn’t want that. I wanted to go home, lock my door, and sob into my pillow for the next three months.

The cab rolled to a stop. I stood on the pavement, staring up at an unfamiliar apartment building. “Where are we?” My voice was low, a soft whisper, and I was surprised Rafe even heard me over the sound of traffic.

He was also staring up at the building, and he let out a sigh before answering me. “This is where I used to live. With my parents.”

My mouth parted open in surprise. I knew Rafe had lived in the city up until a few years ago, when he and Evan had moved upstate to be closer to Alexandra, but I didn’t expect him to still rent an apartment. I thought, like Evan, he had cut all his ties to the past.

You know what? I didn’t care. I was so weary, and this was closer than home. I understood why Rafe had brought me here. He didn’t think I could survive the trip home.

I think he’s right.

When it became clear I wasn’t going to answer, he gently tugged me forward, into the building. In the lobby we waited for an elevator, riding it to the third floor. We passed doors on both sides of the carpeted hallway before pausing in front of apartment 306. Rafe pulled out his car keys and shuffled through them before finding the key he wanted. Even in my foggy, dream-like state, I still felt a pang of sadness for him.
After all this time, he still carries the key.

To Rafe, this would always be home.

He hesitated slightly before turning the key and unlocking the door. Stepping inside, he held the door open for everyone else. It opened into a small living room with a couch, TV, and a coffee table. That surprised me. I had expected an apartment sparsely furnished, and instead it looked like a place just waiting for its occupants to come home. It was dusty, however, reminding me that no one had lived here for a long, long time.

Rafe was saying something to Evan and Alexandra behind me. I shook my head, my hearing muffled, as if I’d plunged my head underwater. I was trying so desperately to hold onto my sanity, but each second took me closer and closer to losing it all.

To fully understanding what Charles had said.

To realizing she was gone.

Permanently.

Mom was dead.

The floor lurched dangerously underneath me, and I was falling before I even realized it. My knees collided with the wood floor with a hollow thump, but I didn’t register any pain. I heard Rafe shout my name, as if from a distance, and then everything went black.

Chapter Fourteen

My eyes fluttered open. I was stretched out across a small bed in an unfamiliar room, underneath the room’s only window. Light from a streetlamp outside cast the room in a gray pallor, and I could make out faded posters of baseball players hanging on the walls. Sitting up, I winced as my knees throbbed dully. Rafe was sitting in a desk chair next to the bed. For a moment I thought he was asleep, but then he leaned toward me, whispering, “Hey.”

“Hey.” I undid my ponytail and ran my hands through my messy bedhead. “Where—” I paused, looking at the posters again. “Is this your room?”

“Yep.” Rafe nodded. “How’d you guess?”

His voice was light, teasing, and at that moment I was so grateful for that, so grateful to
him
for trying to distract me from the pain and memories of the day that I had to choke back tears before answering. “Mmm, I think the posters gave it away.”

“Don’t forget these.” Rafe turned on a small lamp on his bedside table and pointed to a shelf across from the bed. It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the light, and when they did, I saw that the shelf was crammed with baseball trophies.

I pulled my knees up to my chin, wrapping my arms around them. “Is it hard, being here?”

“A little,” Rafe admitted. “Even though I use the money my parents left me to pay the rent every month, I haven’t been back in years—didn’t think I’d ever be back, in fact, but this afternoon…”

“I didn’t leave you much choice.” I gingerly rested my head against my knees, which I must have bruised when I’d fallen to the floor, and regarded him with my head cocked sideways. “I’m sorry I freaked out.”

Rafe stared at me, stunned. “Why are you apologizing? After what happened, you would have to be made out of stone not to react!”

“Do you even know the whole story?” I asked. “Did you talk to Phil?” I wondered where my brother—it was still so weird calling him that—was and if Kain had managed to calm him down, or if he’d gone on a rampage.

“I got a short text from Kain.” Rafe tapped his phone, which was resting next to the lamp. “They’re at his place. He said not to worry. Told me I needed to concentrate one hundred percent on you. Which,” he said, reaching over to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, “is pretty good advice.” He kept his hand by the side of my face, and I leaned into him, absorbing the warmth and feel of his callused fingers on my skin.

The tears came then, fast and furious. “She’s dead,” I choked out. “All this time, I thought she was alive. I didn’t know what she was doing, but I always felt like she could walk right back into my life at any moment. And, meanwhile, she’s been dead, probably from the moment she walked out that door. Charles—Charles
killed
her, Rafe.”

Rafe’s eyes were full of pain. “Gabi, I’m so sorry.”

I reached for him, crying too hard to speak, and he pulled me right out of the bed and into his lap, tucking me safely in his strong arms. He rocked me like a baby, and I cried like my life depended on it, burying my face into his chest and clutching his shirt in my hands.

***

Exhausted, I pulled away to run a hand over my tearstained cheeks. I’d been crying for what felt like hours, and I knew I probably looked a wreck, with my eyes all bloodshot and my nose red and snotty. It was amazing, wasn’t it? I was absolutely devastated over my mom, and I still worried about how I looked.
What is wrong with me?

I slid out of Rafe’s lap, although he seemed reluctant to let me go. But his muscles—not to mention his side—must have been hurting from staying in one position for so long. Not that he would ever complain.

I was so glad I had him here, with me, right now, during this awful moment. Facing this alone?

I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t that strong.

“Can I use the bathroom?” My voice came out small and shaky, revealing how tired and upset I was. Without a word, Rafe led me outside the bedroom and pointed out the bathroom next door. I shut the door behind me before splashing ice-cold water on my face as I ignored my dismal reflection in the mirror.

When I emerged a few minutes later, Rafe was still in the hallway, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. I immediately went to him, and he placed his arm around my shoulders as we walked back into the bedroom. I sat down on his bed, and he joined me, leaning against the headboard and pulling me back into his lap. Again, I worried about hurting him, but I was afraid he’d let go if I voiced my fears aloud. I had to admit, at that point, I was acting selfishly. Even with my worries, I wanted to stay in his embrace. Forever, if I could.

In that same, small voice, I told Rafe what Charles had said. He remained silent, running his fingers up and down my arm soothingly. To my surprise, I didn’t cry again. Maybe I’d cried myself out. Or, maybe I’d just used up all of my tears.

When I finished, I turned so I could see his face. He was sad, I could tell right away, and once again I was struck at how lucky I was to go through this with him by my side. “I wish…” He trailed off and sighed. “I wish I could take your pain away, Gabi. I know exactly how you feel, know exactly what you’re going through, and it’s killing me that you have to feel this way.” His hands cupped my face between them. “I never want to see you sad, or heartbroken, or devastated. What’s the point in having this strength, this power, if I can’t even help you?”

“But you are,” I protested. “Rafe, you being here, right now— You’re helping me more than you realize. I can’t do this alone, and it hurts
me
thinking about how you had to deal with this on your own. Without me.”

Rafe paused. I watched him, gazing at the warring emotions playing across his features. Finally, he swallowed nervously. “When you told me about Silver Moon’s involvement with my parents, you, and everyone else, expected me to rush over to HQ to avenge my parents, right?”

I wondered why he was bringing that up now. “Yeah, and…?”

“I know you said you would support whatever choice I made, and I believe you, but my decision to
not
do anything surprised you, right?”

“Because—”

“Because you know how I can get,” Rafe said gently. “With you. When you’re hurt or in danger, I lose sight of myself. I forget, for a moment, who I really am, because the thought of losing you like I lost my parents scares me more than anything, Gabi. I
can’t
lose you.
That’s
why I won’t go to HQ, or go looking for Collins. If he finds you because of me, I will never be able to forgive myself.” His eyes were brimming with sadness as he spoke.

“But now, watching you hurt so badly, I
do
want to go to HQ and break something. Or someone. For you, and for what they did to your mom. And it’s not because I’m over-protective and crazy.”

I didn’t know what he was getting at, so I rushed to say, “Rafe, I
know
—”

“It’s because I love you.”

“I kno—Wait,
what?”
My mouth dropped open, and my heart began pounding so hard I could barely hear myself think. “You—
what?
”

Rafe chuckled at my reaction. “I love you, Gabi. You make me happy. You make me feel…
alive
. I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel like that again, after what happened with Mom and Dad, but then you literally stumbled into my life, dressed in your pjs and screaming about how you were going to kill me, and my life was never the same. You stole away the dark shadows that have been haunting me all these years like you’re my own personal sun.”

He leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “I love your sense of humor. You always, always make me laugh.” Another kiss, this time on my nose. “I love how fierce you are. You’ve come face-to-face with so much crap, and you’ve never once backed down.” He kissed my eyelids, each one in turn. “I love how honest you are. With me. With everyone. You always speak your mind. And not only that, but you
listen
to me, too. You worry that you’re not doing the ‘girlfriend thing’ right, but you’ve been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And maybe I’m rushing this and I know you’re only sixteen and I’m only seventeen, but seeing you like this, with your heart broken… I need you to know. I need you to know how much you mean to me, and how much I’m hurting because you’re hurting. You’re my everything, Gabi, and I love you.” Rafe fell silent, watching me with both love and fear in his eyes.

Fear that I was going to take his beautiful, beautiful declaration and hurt him. As if any girl could listen to what he just said and not melt into a pile of blissful goo.

“Oh my god,” I whispered. “I can’t believe you said all of that and
didn’t
kiss me on the lips. Rafe Fitzgerald, what is
wrong
with—”

He shut me up with a hard kiss on the lips, only pulling away once to say, “Evil girl.”

We resumed kissing for a few wonderful minutes before I banged on his shoulder with my fist. “Wait. Rafe, wait.”

“Making me stop again.” He groaned. “Even after all this time, you still make me wonder if I’m the world’s worst kisser.”

“No, you dummy!” I rearranged myself in his lap, placing my hands on his shoulders. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart.

Rafe saw how nervous I was and shook his head. “Gabi, you don’t have to say anything you’re not ready to say. I know things are different for you. I get it. It’s okay.”

Maybe a few weeks or months ago, I would have listened to him. What he was saying was true, after all. Thanks to Mom, I had serious trust issues. Penny had always been my only close friend, and I’d never had a boyfriend. And he was right, I was only sixteen (for another month, anyway). Love was for older couples, who’d been together for years, not months, right? And did love even exist? I thought it had with my parents, but then Mom left, and I couldn’t help but wonder if the whole thing was a farce.

But also thanks to Mom, and the truth behind why she’d vanished without ever contacting us again, I now saw how fleeting life was. Here one moment, gone the next. I’d nearly lost Rafe twice. Silver Moon would come looking for me if they knew what I could do. We still didn’t know if healing could kill me. I was safe, even content, right now, in Rafe’s lap, on his bed, in his room, in this apartment tucked among thousands upon thousands of other apartments, but that could all change tomorrow. I knew all about how quickly life could change from one moment to the next.

And I would be the biggest moron if I didn’t seize life for all that it was worth
now
, rather than waiting for
later
.

Rafe watched me. He watched me struggle with my inner turmoil, and I think he realized before I even did what I was about to say. His green eyes brightened, and he leaned forward in anticipation.

“I love you,” I said simply.

And he kissed me.

Not simply.

Oh, no, definitely
not
simply.