The Sexy Vegan Cookbook (19 page)

Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Coat two 6-by-8-inch casserole dishes with some olive oil, and split the seitan and press half into a flat rectangle (about ¼ inch thick) in each dish. Just barely cover the seitan with vegetable stock, and place something heavy on top of it, like another casserole dish. Bake the seitan for 1 hour. Discard the liquid, and cut the seitan into riblike strips.

http://youtu.be/4BiM9VujjBY

In a small bowl, combine the vinegar, the ½ cup of oil, the liquid smoke, tamari, and blackened seasoning. Pour the mixture into a zip-top bag, add the seitan ribz, gently slosh them around so they get coated, squeeze the bag to suck out as much of the air as possible, and place them in the fridge to marinate for 1 to 4 hours.

Shake off the excess marinade and slather the seitan with a nice layer of barbecrazyshit sauce. Bake the seitan on a baking sheet for 15 minutes, remove it from the oven and brush on a second layer of sauce, and bake for 5 more minutes. Serve with smoky elbows and cheeze.

VARIATION: Barbecue Tofu with Smoky Elbows and Cheeze

Substitute two 14-ounce blocks of extra-firm tofu for the seitan. Drain the tofu, freeze it, and let it thaw completely (see Tip above), then cut it into rectangular strip things. You will not need the veggie stock. Marinate and sauce the tofu as instructed for the seitan. Bake it for 25 minutes, remove it from the oven and brush on a second layer of sauce, and bake for another 20 minutes.

pound mini elbow pasta

2
cups Smoked Cheddar Sauce (see recipe,
page 215
)

2 cups panko bread crumbs (see WTF, next page)

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for coating pan

¼ teaspoon salt, if needed

Pepper, if needed

Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Cook the pasta until al dente, about 2 minutes less than the directions on the package recommend. Drain, and toss with the cheeze sauce. Lube up an 8-by-11-inch casserole dish with some olive oil, pour in the elbows and cheeze, cover with foil, and bake for 20 minutes. Meanwhile, stir the bread crumbs and the 2 tablespoons of olive oil together, so that all of the crumbs become coated. If the bread crumbs are unseasoned, add the salt and pepper. If they’re already seasoned, do not add salt or pepper. Turn off the oven and set the broiler on high. Top the casserole with the bread-crumb mixture, and toss it under the broiler until the top is browned. This should only take 1 minute or so, so keep an eye on it, because it’ll burn very easily.

They are a flaky type of bread crumb used in Japanese cooking. Panko are airier than Western-style bread crumbs and have an incredible crunch. They are made from bread that has been “baked” by passing an electric current through the dough (definitely do not try this at home), which makes a bread with no crust. Find them at a Japanese market or in the Asian section of your supermarket.

One 8-ounce package tempeh

2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

¼ cup finely diced yellow onion

¼ cup finely diced celery

¼ cup finely diced red bell pepper

Salt

1 cup panko bread crumbs (see WTF,
page 138
)

1 tablespoon Old Bay seasoning, plus more for garnish

¼ cup vegan mayo (see WTF,
page 42
)

One 15-ounce can chickpeas, rinsed and drained until very dry

1 tablespoon capers, drained and chopped

1 tablespoon chopped fresh Italian parsley

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

2 teaspoons Dijon mustard

2 teaspoons kelp (or other seaweed) powder (see WTF,
page 63
)

Hot sauce

Pepper

Succotash (recipe follows)

Remoulade (recipe follows)

Using a steamer basket, steam the tempeh for 25 minutes, then let it cool. While it’s steaming, heat the 2 teaspoons of olive oil in a pan
over medium heat, and add the onion, celery, bell pepper, and a pinch of salt. Cook until the onions are translucent and tender, about 8 minutes, then set aside to cool. With a fork, potato masher, or your very clean hands, mash the tempeh in a bowl until it’s completely “ground.” Add the cooked veggies, ½ cup of bread crumbs, ½ tablespoon of Old Bay, the mayo, chickpeas, capers, parsley, lemon juice, mustard, kelp powder, a couple dashes of hot sauce, and a pinch of salt and a pinch of pepper to the tempeh, and mash it all together with your very clean hands until the chickpeas are completely mashed. Divide the chickpea mixture into four 3-inch-wide cakes.

In a large pan, heat the 2 tablespoons of oil over medium-high heat. Mix the remaining ½ cup of bread crumbs with the remaining ½ tablespoon of Old Bay, and spread out on a small plate. Dredge both sides of your cakes in the seasoned bread crumbs. Drop the cakes into the pan and cook for 3 to 4 minutes, or until one side is browned, then flip and brown the other side. Drain the cakes for 1 minute on paper towels, and hit them with a little dash of Old Bay seasoning. Serve over succotash, and top with remoulade.

2 teaspoons vegan margarine

½ cup diced red bell pepper

½ cup diced yellow onion

Salt

1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme

1 cup white wine

½ cup vegetable stock

½ teaspoon arrowroot dissolved in 4 teaspoon water (see WTF,
page 69
)

2 cups fresh or frozen corn kernels

1½ cups frozen lima beans

1 tablespoon chopped fresh Italian parsley

Pepper

Heat the margarine in a medium skillet over medium-high heat. When it’s melted, add the bell pepper, onion, and a pinch of salt. Cook for 4 to 5 minutes, or until the veggies are soft, and then add the thyme. Cook for 2 more minutes. Add the white wine and let it reduce by half, 2 to 3 minutes, then add the vegetable stock. Bring the stock to a simmer, and whisk in the arrowroot slurry. After cooking for 2 minutes, the sauce will reach maximum thickness (if you want it thicker, add more arrowroot slurry). Add the corn, lima beans, and parsley. Cook until warmed through, about 3 minutes, and season with salt and pepper to taste.

Store extra remoulade in a sealed container in the fridge for up to a week.

cup vegan mayo (see WTF,
page 42
)

2 scallions, thinly sliced

2 tablespoons Crazy Shit (see recipe,
page 194
)

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

2 teaspoons Crazy Shit Vinegar (see recipe,
page 194
)

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

1 tablespoon minced fresh Italian parsley

Salt and pepper to taste

Whisk together all ingredients until combined.